Desiring Other Times
Chapter 7 - Heart
Disclaimer: Mary had a little lamb, and she had a duck. She put them on the mantelpiece, to see if they would… fall down. No, I don't own that 'rhyme' or Harry Potter.
Author's Notes: A lot of people have complained that the 'Most Powerful Patronus' is a little too unrealistic. As I said in the notes of chapter 5, just because he 'took' it from Flitwick's mind doesn't mean it's all correct. Harry hasn't had the time to experiment on a real Dementor, and as many people have pointed out, you need eye-contact to do real Legilimency. Harry obviously thought he was so damn smart that he could do Legilimency without eye contact (probably attributed it to 'the power the Dark Lord knows now'), and didn't bother verifying anything he found. And I know that by addressing those complaints, I'm completely and utterly spoiling the story when you actually read about it! Hint! Don't stop reading just because you find certain points unrealistic, this is written in first person and people aren't always right.
And just because I'm feeling nice, I'll wipe out the entire buffer and release… all the chapters up to chapter 14. Because that's the last you'll be hearing of me for a while, since I'm going on holidays where my access to the internet will be quite limited.
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Ever since I was young – gods, that makes me sound old – I have learned how to look after myself. Some of it wasn't really because I was ignored, I mean, I learned how to cook because my mother cooked as well. Because she didn't want to be in a situation where she had raw food and yet was going hungry. But the rest, like making sure I didn't get ill, that I had the things I needed, that I was getting where I needed to be, all of that I've had to handle by myself.
I suppose it's helped me prepare for the world. I suppose it's the reason why I connect magic with protection so strongly that it's my Patronus. I suppose it's the reason why my magic keeps getting stretched and strengthened (and hence increased) because I didn't quite make my wristband wards correctly or in a way that didn't strain at my reserves (particularly the one that stretched time).
Perhaps the saying that 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is true. But there are limits. I for one would not like to be subject to the torture techniques of the Spanish Inquisition.
For all the anti-Muggle propaganda of the Wizarding World, Muggles sure are scary.
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Where the back of Quirrell's head should have been was a face, a mask like waxy white face with glowing crimson eyes and thin slits for nostrils. I had heard Voldemort had been of Slytherin house, but to make his face look like a snake seemed a little too in awe of the Founder.
"Jeremy Potter…" the face murmured, lips so thin that they seemed hardly there.
I frowned. "Actually, no."
Voldemort scowled. "Not what, Potter!" He demanded.
"Not Jeremy." I answered matter-of-factly, my courage returning with the knowledge that Voldemort didn't even know who I was.
"Fool!" Rage, horrible red hot rage, and Quirrell bent over in pain so that Voldemort's face was pointing up at the roof. Quirrell moaned, then screamed. "Stand up, you worthless idiot!" demanded Voldemort, and I found the entire scene morbidly amusing.
Eventually, Quirrell managed to stagger upright and I was presented with Voldemort's face again.
"So." said Voldemort. "Harry Potter, eh?"
I nodded numbly.
"Not Jeremy?"
Nod, nod.
"Pity. I would have so enjoyed murdering your brother, but I suppose I'll have to do with the Boy-Who-Lived's brother." Suddenly, I realised that before, Voldemort had sounded weak, raspy, but now, he sounded normal. Well, as normal as his chilly voice could be.
"Well, boy, why don't you give me that cup in your pocket?" Quirrell began walking backwards, so that Voldemort's face came closer and closer.
I stepped backwards, and Voldemort's face twisted into a snarl.
"Don't think you can escape, boy. Better save your worthless hide and give the Grail to me, and maybe I'll show you some mercy."
"Heh. The only mercy you know is killing people." I declared, and his face twisted into a perverse smile.
"Of course – that's what I live to do, to kill those filthy mudbloods. I'll send you on and then I'll have your family join you soon enough, Potter."
I snorted. "You're a fool, Voldemort." With that, I flung myself in the direction of the door, hands already releasing the catch on my left arm's holster and grasping my second wand, ready to unlock the door when…
"Seize him!" ordered Voldemort, and Quirrell whirled around, leapt at me, his hands gripping me about my neck.
I sent a wave of magic at my wristbands, and suddenly everything felt extremely light. Kicking upwards, I hurled Quirrell up, up until he collided with the ceiling in a shower of rock dust.
Voldemort was shouting something (I realised just then that I'd hurled him up so that Voldemort was the one who made first contact with the ceiling), but I didn't pause to listen.
"Reducto!" I cried, but Quirrell dodged and I only dislocated and broke his upper left arm.
His wand was out and fear shivered through me, but then I was moving, fast, impossibly fast, weaving in and out of his spells and hurling curses and hexes and charms and spells at him, all of which hit him. Sometime during the fight I had Summoned my primary wand back to me and was using it instead of my second wand – if anyone were to come in, I couldn't let anyone know about my customized wand.
The door blasted open, with the heavy wood flying across to hit Quirrell and sending him into the wall. Dumbledore strode in and I reactivated my perceived gravity wristband again, so I wouldn't make a mistake and accidentally move at a speed nearing half the speed of sound. The world became heavy, then my body remembered how to move under the extra stress.
Quirrell struggled up from where he had landed, and froze when he spotted Dumbledore.
"Dumbledore."
"Quentin. Tom." greeted Dumbledore.
"Don't call me that!" shrieked Voldemort.
A pause. Then Quirrell suddenly shrivelled up and a ghastly vapour formed about him. Dumbledore took a step forward, then levelled his wand at the vapour. Before he could say a spell, however, the vapour shot towards the windows and disappeared through the cracks in the side of the frame. A shrivelled mummy slumped to the ground and imploded into tiny motes of dust.
"Is… is it… over?" I asked, swaying slightly.
Dumbledore caught me as I fell. "It's over, Harry, it's over."
When I woke, the world was a blurry mass of white and grey and gold. Blinking, the colours separated until I realised I was looking up at the gold chandelier in the ceiling of the Hospital Wing. The bed I was lying on was soft, so soft, and the warmth of the bed was so delicious when combined with the chill of the Autumn air.
"Mr. Potter, you're awake!" Madam Pomphrey's face appeared in my line of sight, and then the top half of my bed suddenly started rising, until it was like I was sitting on a sofa.
"Here." Pomphrey handed me two flasks, one with a deep purple potion and the other with an aquamarine coloured potion. "This," she hefted the greenish-blue potion. "Will help you overcome the strain caused by almost emptying your magical reserves. This," she held up the purple potion. "Is Dreamless Sleep potion."
I blinked. "Thanks," I said, reaching for the potions.
"Actually, Poppy, I would like to speak with Mr. Potter for a few minutes, if at all possible."
She huffed, and puffed, and blew as hard as she could (okay, so maybe she was just arguing with Dumbledore), but to no avail.
"I'll be back in five minutes, and Mr. Potter will be taking potions then." Then she was gone.
Dumbledore sat down in a chair beside my bed. "Harry, I would like to know what you were doing in that classroom. You were on your way back to Ravenclaw Tower, I believe."
I couldn't quite say I felt strong magic being emanated from the room. That would only make Dumbledore more curious than he already was. "I… I saw… when I was walking past, the door was open and I saw the mirror. I wanted to know what it was doing in there. Then Quirrell found me."
He nodded. "Please, tell me what happened."
"Well… I had a look at the mirror, and when it just showed me the mirror breaking, I said that I wasn't going to 'deactivate my wards just to be told something I already knew'. Then Quirrell turned up." Dumbledore nodded slowly. I was fortunate that Dumbledore would be unable to extract a memory from the pile of dust Quirrell had become.
"Then he tied me up and took my wand from me. After that, he started talking to himself about what the mirror was for – that it held a clue as to the location of the Holy Grail…" I paused, looking thoughtful. "It's still safe, right, sir?" At the same time, I felt about in my robes and felt a moment of panic when there was no right robe pocket. Then I realised that I had been changed into a general hospital patient's robe. Folded neatly and lying on the seat of another chair were the clothes I had been wearing, all cleaned of the dust that must have been on them.
Dumbledore looked at me piercingly, then he sighed. "Quirrell hadn't been able to figure out how the Mirror of Erised worked when I arrived, right?"
"Is that what it's called? And no, he hadn't. Voldemort suggested I be used to have a look in the mirror, but all I saw was the mirror breaking again. Then he tried to kill me, and then you turned up."
Dumbledore nodded. "Then it is still safe. I will have the Mirror moved to a safer location." He paused. "The Mirror is called the Mirror of Erised, yes. Have you figured out what it does?"
I tilted my head to the side. "Well, it shows me the mirror breaking, but I don't think that's right. The inscription – when read backwards, says 'I show you not your face but your heart's desire'. That's all it is, right? And Erised, that's 'desire' backwards, isn't it?"
Dumbledore nodded, a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. "That's correct, Harry." He looked at me curiously. "Do you know why it shows you the mirror breaking?"
I looked away from him. "I think it's got something to do with my Occlumency… and maybe because I don't want people telling me what I want. Even if it's a mirror."
"I see… the words of someone who knows how to look after themselves, yes. An independent person. You're an amazing child, Harry. Well!" Dumbledore pulled out his pocket watch, and Pomphrey came barging in.
"Your five minutes is up! Drink up, Mr. Potter." Wanting beyond anything else at that moment to escape from having to speak to Dumbledore, I drank first the green-blue potion and then the purple potion.
I sank into a deep sleep immediately.
When I woke, the sun had risen till it was about thirty degrees till noon – that is, if one drew a line from where the sun would be at noon to the earth so that it was perpendicular to the 'flat' surface of the Earth, the line from the same point on the Earth to where the sun was now would make an angle of thirty degrees to the noon line. Glancing at the clock on the hospital bedside table, I noted that it was half-past ten.
Already, I could feel my magic reserves rejuvenating at an incredible pace, and knew that last night's high jinks had probably pushed my magic levels to almost twice as high as before.
Someone approached the hospital privacy curtains around my bed – I could see their silhouette. They slowly, quietly swished the curtains open a little, and I saw it was Jeremy.
"Harry? You're awake?" He tiptoed in, and I sat up (this time without the help of the bed).
"Yeah, I am." I frowned at my 'bed breath'. Then I realised that if someone had changed my robes, they would have noticed that they couldn't remove my wristbands or the two bracers attached to my arms. Then I remembered that the bracers were charmed to camouflage against my skin. Thankful for this small mercy that they hadn't been able to find my spare wand, I pulled out my primary wand and performed the Ablutions Charm to remedy my bad breath.
Jeremy meanwhile was pulling a chair to my side and didn't notice me pulling out my wand and performing some magic. "Well," he said as he sat down. "They made me stay in because of magical exhaustion. They'll make you do the same as well." He grinned. "Guess it's just like a pair of twins to go down with the same thing, huh?"
I smiled back at him. "Yeah, that's about right."
He suddenly seemed to realise something. "Hang on, I'll be right back." I nodded and he disappeared through the curtains, only to return laden down with a load of lollies.
"When everyone found out we were in the Hospital Wing, they all sent us these. Dumbledore told me that he's gone through all of them and made sure there aren't any… surprises."
I nodded, knowing he really meant that when everyone had found out he was in the Hospital Wing. Then I noticed that on my bedside table was a small pile of presents that, quite obviously, hadn't been there last night.
Jeremy smiled. "I see you have your own pile – but I've got too many. You can have these too." He poked at the sweets. "You know how I'm not really all that partial to Sugar Quills, and you really like them, don't you?" I did, actually, and my chest seemed to tighten at the fact that he'd remembered.
"Thanks," I replied as I swept my presents onto the bed. There was a package from the boys in my dorm, one from the First Year Ravenclaw girls, one from the Prefects of Ravenclaw, one from Hermione, Ron and Neville, a big one from our parents (this one contained a few books from home that the letter said I had left bookmarks in and they had assumed I hadn't finished them, so if I had free time I could read them), and one from Draco Malfoy.
"Malfoy?" Jeremy grimaced. "Well, I suppose if Dumbledore's been through all of them, it can't hurt. But still…"
I shrugged. "Well, I'm going to his house in the holidays, remember, so if he asks, I have to able to know what was in his gift." Jeremy looked down, then he lunged forward and hugged me.
"Be careful," he murmured. "Please. We'll be really sad if the Malfoys take you away from us." Then he let go and stepped back awkwardly.
I nodded. "I will. I'll be so careful I'll make Mad-Eye Moody look naïve." He smirked, the both of us remembering how Moody yelled 'Constant Vigilance' at random moments.
Opening the packages, the ones from the Ravenclaws contained sweets and a novel in each package. The one from the Gryffindors contained a box of Chocolate Frogs and a smooth, round crystal light orb that wouldn't roll of its own accord. Draco's contained a rather hefty tome on Dark Creatures and how to fight them.
"Wow," muttered Jeremy. "He actually got you something that's really useful. Man, this makes him look nice."
"Well, maybe he is. It's just hidden beneath that act he's picked up from his parents." I suggested, and Jeremy nodded.
"Yeah, maybe. Else Dumbledore wouldn't agree with Snape on the idea of you befriending him. I guess… well, the son isn't the father, but sometimes…" He shrugged apologetically.
"Mm, sometimes. Well, what did Madam Pomphrey say we were allowed to do while in here?"
Jeremy shrugged again. "I don't think she'll let us duel or anything like that, but I'm sure we're allowed to eat sweets and read books." He looked at all the books everyone had sent me. "You know, you'd think everyone thought you'd be in the Hospital Wing for a month, not a few days."
"A few days!"
Jeremy chortled at my expression. "Yeah. Although she might let us out if we can prove – somehow, not quite sure how – if we can prove that we've recovered." He looked at me hopefully. "You have any ideas, oh wise Ravenclaw?"
"Dunno…" I muttered as I got up out of bed and stacked all of my presents and the sweets Jeremy hadn't wanted onto my bedside table again. "I haven't heard of anything that could help."
Jeremy smiled wryly. "Ah well… how about you tell me what happened last night after I… collapsed."
"You mean fainted."
"I didn't faint. Girls faint!"
"Ah… so you… 'collapsed'."
"Yes, now get on with the story!"
I laughed at him, but then Dumbledore swept the curtains aside and entered.
"Professor! I'll leave now, then-"
"No, no, stay if you wish. I for one would also like to hear what happened last night. Do go on, Harry."
"Well… I was walking back to Ravenclaw Tower when…"
Half an hour later, I was finished with my story. Madam Pomphrey had come by with my next dose of the blue-green potion, and Dumbledore had returned to do whatever it is Headmasters do. Jeremy and I had started flipping through the books that had been sent to me and eating some of the candy.
"Hey, here it says that the Holy Grail can create food for sinless people, blind sinners and Silence disrespectful people… so why was Voldemort looking for it? Wouldn't it blind and Silence him?"
I smiled at Jeremy who was holding a copy of The Legends of King Arthur. "If you put water into the real Holy Grail, the water can give eternal life or transmute things. The book you're holding, those are legends."
"Oh. I see." He closed the book and put it down. "Well, do you have any books here that talk about the real Grail?"
I flipped through the ones our parents had sent, then pulled out one that talked about the legendary items of the Magical World. I'd bookmarked the page about the Sorting Hat, back when I had been doing research in preparation for my arrival at Hogwarts.
"This one should have something… Here." I pushed the hefty tome at him.
Five minutes later… "Hey, what happens if you've gotten eternal life but then you don't want it anymore? 'Cos here it says you can't be killed by mortal means."
I shrugged. "Dunno… maybe you have to summon a demon to crush you or something like that."
"Gods, that sounds horrible."
"It's meant to." I looked at him. "Why do you want to know so much about it? It's gone – hidden away. Dumbledore says it's safe."
Jeremy didn't look up from the book but I could see that he had stopped reading. "Well… I dunno. It's just that… that it sounds so incredible. And… I suppose for a little bit, I wanted to be able to use it. But reading about it, eternal life really does sound pretty overrated."
I smiled sadly. "Yeah, it does. Boring, really. And kinda sad, if the people around you start dying."
"Although I guess the transmutation thing's pretty cool." Jeremy seemed to shrink a little at this admission.
I smiled. Then the Hospital Wing doors banged open and I heard our parents' voices quite clearly. The curtains were torn aside and mother and father rushed in, hugging first Jeremy and then me.
"Professor Dumbledore sent us both owls as soon as he could telling us you were both awake. We tried to come earlier but…" Mother trailed off.
"…but things got a little hairy at the Ministry. Quirrell's turning into dust caused a big uproar there, and well…" Father shrugged. "The Minister wants to give you an Order of Merlin, Third Class, for dealing with a 'Dark Wizard'."
I frowned, but Mother answered my unspoken question. "The Minister doesn't believe that Voldemort is still alive, but he appreciates the fact that Quirrell really was a Dark Wizard and you stopped him before he got immortality and practically unstoppable power."
"What happens if… when Voldemort really does come back? Is he going to deny everything?"
Mother and Father looked at each other. "Honey, do you really want to talk about this… so soon after you faced him?" At the same time as Mother said this, Father stroked his ear and looked at me pointedly. I took the hint.
"Actually… you're right, maybe not right now."
The conversation died there, then Jeremy sat up. "Mum, dad, do you think you could convince Madam Pomphrey to let us out a little earlier? Harry and I are going stir-crazy and it's only been the first few hours."
"Absolutely not." intoned Madam Pomphrey from the gap in the curtains. Mother and Father jumped then laughed nervously at their surprise.
"Why not, Poppy? The boys look perfectly fine – it's as if nothing had happened to them at all!" declared Father. Mother wasn't quite so sure but after she had a longer look at Jeremy and I, she nodded as well.
"They seem perfectly fine, Poppy." Mother agreed, and Father smiled proudly.
Pomphrey sighed. "Very well, seeing as both parents have given permission, I suppose you can leave earlier-"
"Today? Now?" begged Jeremy. Pomphrey narrowed her eyes dangerously but she remembered that our parents were still there.
"Very well. Get changed and make sure you don't leave anything here!" She swept off, and I wondered just how lonely it must be, being all alone in the Hospital Wing with no-one to keep you company and everyone wanting to get out as soon as they could.
While I changed, Father conjured a bag, shrunk all my things and placed them into the bag, then cast a Feather-Weight Charm on the bag. "Here you go," he said, handing me the bag. Mother had gone off with Jeremy to help him with his rather mountainous pile of candy.
As we exited the Hospital Wing, I felt the comfortable weight of the shrunken Grail 'in' my pocket, as it bumped against my leg every so often.
We parted at the fourth floor landing. "Look after yourselves, boys!"
"We will!" Jeremy and I chorused.
"Well… see you later?"
I smiled. "See you." I replied.
Walking back to the Ravenclaw Tower, I paused before the mirror, then pressed on. Once inside, everyone stopped talking then gathered about me, asking questions about how I had known Quirrell was a Dark Wizard and how I had managed to kill him.
"Hey, hey! I just got out of the Hospital Wing – so I'll just answer two of the questions. One, I hadn't known Quirrell was a Dark Wizard, I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or the right place, right time, depending on how you look at it. Two, I didn't kill him, he killed himself when Professor Dumbledore arrived. I guess he didn't want to go to Azkaban, or something like that." With that, I climbed up the stairs to my dorm and promptly fell onto my bed.
"Harry?" It was Terry. "It's complete bedlam out there! Everyone's trying to get in here, but thankfully the girls can't get up the stairs. Imagine if we were in another house – apparently the girls can go up the boys staircases but not the other way round. Anyway, the seventh years look like they're about to start hexing their way in here. What are we gonna do?"
I groaned. "Can't I get a break?"
"Sorry, Harry. Must be something to do with being a Potter."
I snorted. "Maybe. Well, tell them I need my beauty sleep."
Terry was scandalized. "You're telling me to risk my skin to tell them you're having a nap!"
"Why yes, Terry. Oh forget it, hang on." I stood up, opened the door and bellowed "I'M GOING TO HAVE A NAP RIGHT NOW!" Then I slammed the door shut and fell back down on my bed.
Outside, the chattering and yelling of gossip fell silent and we could hear the dejected Ravenclaws stumping away from our landing.
"Well, I guess that works." commented Terry. Thomas laughed.
I rolled over on my bed to face them. "Thanks for your present." They nodded.
"Hey, why isn't school on today?"
"Dumbledore cancelled classes today because of what happened. We're short a teacher, although I hear Professor Dumbledore might teach DADA until he manages to get another professor."
"That'll be interesting… studying under the great wizard Dumbledore…" I murmured, then slowly descended into the comfort of sleep.
I dreamed of family, of hugs, of sweet candy, of people that cared.
Then I woke up and knew that a world as perfect as that could only ever exist in a dream.
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Author's Notes: A longer chapter this time, tying up the Quirrell arc. Coming up next is the arc involving Malfoy Manor, and the beginnings of Harry's investigation into the meaning of the inscription on the Headmaster's door!
Notes:
1. A little bit of humour to start off the chapter, with Harry being mistaken for famous Jeremy.
2. Gravity Wristband – when he released the perceived gravity, Harry's body which was acclimatized to a 'heavier' world was suddenly moving in a world which didn't put as much stress on his body. As such, strength and speed were increased. His reaction times are still the same, but like canon Harry, he has good reflexes.
3. Quirrell's end – Voldemort sucked out Quirrell's life force to fuel his flight.
4. Robes – Madam Pomphrey used a spell to change him from his school robes into the hospital gown. No physical contact was made, and she didn't bother trying to remove the wristbands as they weren't harming him.
5. Parents sending a package but not arriving till later – Lily managed to grab a whole bunch of books, toss them into a package and send it to Harry, on top of her package to Jeremy. She then had to go join James at the Ministry.
Intermission story coming up, then the holidays and Malfoy Manor!