Disclaimer: All the characters that you recognize belong to J. K. Rowling.
Author's Note: Thanks to Juicilyn, ilovedrew88, sunlitmist, Lala Milk, Lis, kkroonie, PruePotter, blvd, JillZee, Amanda, x0x-Mystique-x0x, Miss Myrtle360, Katie Pie, chickenspaz911, laurahonest, JeNnIfEr88, Lady Knight -Kelani of Masc..., MissMrprk, luv24+Alias, piratequeen24, pecanpie, Elisabeth, phantom girl 759, James' gurrl, Becca, babi-gurl8907, trashcan, uponacloud920, riduculouslyriddikulus, 0pera3mm, Mahazzy, Meggily, PadfootsPrincess4Life, Steph, Bubblegrl4ever, serindraxx, rae89, Em, and Cookie-ER for reviewing chapter 44! Sorry about the delay…
As James sat alone his bedroom, he tried to replay his visit with the Headmaster over in his mind, trying to sort out everything he had just learned. Only bits and pieces of their conversation stayed with him though, only the large pieces of information, the rest was blocked out. It's about your parents…a death eater attack…they didn't make it…Ministry's trying to sort everything out…late last night…the house was destroyed…
It hit him like a rock, and he didn't know what to do. But as he looked around his room, the room he shared with three of his best friends, he knew one thing was for sure: he had to get out of here. He didn't want to deal with telling his friends, even though he recalled promising the Headmaster he would. James didn't want to deal with the sympathy looks the entire school would give him. Most of all though, he didn't want to deal with anything.
It was bad enough that the entire school saw him as the boy that murdered Rander, even if most of them did view it as a self-defense and heroic move. James wasn't sure of he could handle that in addition to the death of his parents.
He took a deep breath, put on his cloak, and packed a small bag of personal belongings. With one glance back into the room, he left, wanting nothing more than to escape his life.
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Hours later, Sirius, Remus, and Peter sat in the Great Hall, curious as to the whereabouts of their friend.
"What do you think he did?" Peter asked, referring to the fact that Dumbledore requested to see him in his office.
"It's probably something about Rander," Remus answered.
"Yeah, probably, but that was six hours ago, do you think he's still in there?" Sirius asked.
"Where else could he be?" Peter questioned.
"Maybe he's with Lily," Remus suggested. "I mean, she's not over there," he pointed to the other end of the table where all of Lily's closest friends were seated. "He probably took her out on a date or something."
"Either that or they're up in his bed, doing the dirty stuff," Sirius remarked, a grin appearing on his face.
"You do know that if James ever found out you were imagining Lily naked, he'd probably kill you, right?" Remus said, wiping the grin off his friend's face.
"I wasn't thinking that," Sirius lied.
"No, then what were you thinking?" Remus asked, playing along.
"I was thinking about, umm, about this fabulous piece of apple pie and how good it's going to taste."
"I'm sure," Remus remarked.
"It's true," he answered, shoving a large bite of pie into his mouth.
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James was, however, not with Lily as the boys had guessed. For Lily was attending one of Professor Slughorn's infamous dinner parties with his favorite students. Along with Lily, Jeff Crawford, a sixth year chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, was present from Gryffindor House. From Ravenclaw, Shaun Dunstan and Tracey Chapman, both seventh years. From Hufflepuff, Slughorn invited Sampson Jones, a fifth year, and Clara Davies, a sixth year. Finally, from Slytherin House, Royce Argyle and Monty Danvers, both members of the Slytherin Quidditch team.
Lily glanced around the room; it seemed smaller than when she was last here two years ago. She looked at the faces of the people surrounding her, all of them sharing the bond of being selected as Slughorn's favorite students. Yet, Lily didn't feel the same way she used to about being in the room.
She used to feel proud about being one of the elite members of the secluded group, now, however, she felt embarrassed, guilt about being there. She was forced to ditch her dinner with her friends to be here, with people that she cared less to be around.
In fact, as she looked around the circular table, Lily realized that she was only friends with Jeff and Tracey. She only began to get to know Jeff this year, as more than an acquaintance, because of James. As for Tracey, Lily was friends with her on the level of saying hi in the hallways, but not actually spending time outside of class together.
The there was Shaun, who Lily only prayed wouldn't make the situation awkward. But truth be told, the two hadn't spoken to each other since their relationship ended earlier that year. Therefore, Lily's wishes weren't looking prospective.
"How is everyone?" Slughorn asked, pouring out nine cups of tea, magically passing them around the table.
"Fine," they all answered in a chorus.
"How's Quiditch going for everyone?" Slughorn questioned.
"Not going to lie, it hasn't been the easiest year for Slytherin," Royce Argyle answered, shaking his head as he recalled his past match against Hufflepuff.
"You're just a sore loser," Clara Davies told him. "I think it's turning into an excellent competition this year. I mean, I don't play the game, I wish I had the talent to do so, but just from watching it looks great."
Lily looked at the girl sitting directly across from her; her blonde hair was pulled tightly back into a ponytail. She wondered when Clara suddenly became such a big talker, hogging most of the conversation, blabbering on and on about a topic that wasn't even directed to her.
"That James Potter, he's an incredible chaser," Clara said, snapping Lily back into reality at the sound of James's name.
"Yes and he certainly knows it too," Shaun remarked, smirking after his comment.
"Well, yes, but he is good, there's no denying that," Clara said.
"He's a great chaser, one of the best Hogwarts has seen," Shaun agreed. "It's just his personality, you know, he's as cocky as hell." He looked directly at Lily as he spoke, sending chills down her spine as his usual puppy dog brown eyes became hardened and cold.
"He's not cocky," Jeff quietly said.
"Excuse me?"
"I said he's not cocky," Jeff repeated, loud enough for the entire table to hear.
"Then how would you explain the gloating, the showing off, and everything else he does?" Shaun questioned, still not taking his eyes off Lily.
"He doesn't do that anymore," Lily said, finally speaking up. "You don't even know him, Shaun."
"Okay, okay, settle down," Slughorn said, breaking the tension that flew across the table.
The nine people sat around the table in silence for a moment before Lily asked, "So, Professor, are you going to go back to do research once the school year ends?"
"Hmm," he thought aloud, "I'm actually not sure. I do know that if I decide to leave again, it will only be for the summer, I'm going to come back next year to teach. But you know, Miss Evans, I really haven't a clue. But I suppose I still have two months to decide that."
"Two months, that's right," Shaun said, "Just two more months at this place until I graduate from here."
"It's weird, isn't it," Lily commented as she realized just how little time she had left at Hogwarts.
"Yeah, and then we'll have to go out and get jobs," Shaun answered, giving her a bewildered look.
The conversation carried on, and to Lily's delight, it became less and less awkward as each minute passed. She and Shaun had even managed to engage in a normal conversation, one that didn't end up in either one of them snapping at the other or referring to James.
"My goodness," Slughorn finally said, "would you look at the time! It's nearly nine o'clock…I suppose we should end this much needed gathering. I know you all have plenty of work to do for your studies, I am sorry to have kept you all so long."
After the eight students said their goodbyes to Slughorn, Lily began to make her way down the corridor and toward her dorm. However, before she went too far, she heard a male's voice call her name. She stopped and turned around to see the man who called her name. It was Shaun.
"Lily, wait up," he said. "If you don't mind, can I walk you back to Gryffindor?"
"Umm, okay," she answered. It was only him walking her there, it wasn't anything special. He probably wanted to talk about classes, perhaps ask her a question about the Charms assignment.
"Does he make you happy?" Shaun asked, avoiding her eyes.
"James?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"It's just, Lily, seeing you there tonight, and talking with you…I don't know, it was nice," he answered.
"Yeah, it was nice," she replied, not sure what else to say.
"You didn't answer my question," Shaun reminded her.
"He makes me happy."
"Are you sure?"
"Shaun, listen, you're a great guy, you really are, but I like James a lot. And yes, he makes me happy. He can make me laugh when I'm upset, or he can be there to just give me a hug when I need it," she told him.
"Didn't I make you laugh?"
"Shaun...," she began.
"Didn't I hug you when you needed it?"
"It's not the same," she said, not sure what else to say.
"Lily, you and I were great together," he said, ignoring her last comment. "It's been months and I still haven't met anyone that even compares to you."
"Shaun, why are you doing this?" Lily asked, he eyes pleading with his.
"Every time I see you with him, I feel the pain that I felt when we ended things, and it's been months…At nights sometimes, I dream about you, I dream about what it would be like if we were still dating. I even have dreams when it's just the two of us going out on a casual date, and just seeing your face makes me smile," he confided in her. "I just can't get you out of my mind. And tonight, I know you felt the same way, I could tell from your voice."
Lily stopped dead in her tracks, did she hear him right?
"Lily," he said.
"I'm sorry," was all she could muster up to say.
"I know it's a lot to take in, but if you would just consider it. I mean, we're so perfect for each other. And Potter, well, he's just a lady's man, a guy that won't last once Hogwarts is over," Shaun replied.
"I think you've walked me far enough," Lily boldly told him.
"Lily, please."
"I love James, and he loves me."
"Lily," Shaun said, moving closer to her, forcing Lily to take a step back. He kept on advancing toward her, making her back up until she was leaning against the corridor wall. He placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned forward, gently kissing her lips. It wasn't a forceful kiss, but a soft and tender kiss.
He took a step back from her, "Lily, just think about it."
She stood there, speechless as she watched Shaun leave her sight. She couldn't quite register in her mind what just happened. It was the most bizarre event that happened to her all year, and she was certain that many unusual, bizarre things happened to her that year.
Her fingers went to her lips, feeling the spot that his lips touched her. As she thought about it, she knew at once what her feelings were. The kiss wasn't like most kisses, it was very different. It wasn't about the softness or the tenderness that he showed; it was about the butterflies she felt in her stomach.
It was about the fact that there weren't any. She felt nothing when Shaun kissed her. There wasn't a rush of excitement, a feeling that even after several months of dating James, she still felt every time he kissed her. Her heart didn't speed up when Shaun approached her, nor did she feel light headed. She felt nothing about Shaun, and knew that nothing could change that.
She smiled as she ran down the hall, trying to catch up with him. "Shaun," she called out hoping to catch him before he got too far away.
"Yeah," he brightly said, stopping where he stood. "That didn't take long."
"I love James, and there's nothing you can say or do that's going to change that, sorry."
"Oh, I thought, well, I thought you were going to say something different."
"I'm sorry, Shaun, I really am. You're going to meet a fantastic girl someday, but it's just not me. And I truly am sorry," she told him.
"He's going to break up with you sometime though," Shaun said.
"You know what, he might, I mean we're seventeen, that's life. But until then…" she answered, trailing off toward the end of her small speech.
"I understand."
"I'm sorry."
"Whatever…I'll see you around."
"Yeah," she responded.
Once they went their separate ways, Lily couldn't help but smile. Shaun proved to her that she truly was in love with James Potter, not that she needed proof, but it was always reassuring. Just walking down the halls, she felt her stomach swell up with excitement. She wanted nothing more than to see James at that moment. She wanted to devour him in an enormous kiss, one that would make her heart melt.
Once she reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, she said the password and smiled as she climbed through the opening and into the common room.
"There you are," Sirius shouted as she walked into sight.
"Excuse me?"
"No, not you, James," he explained.
"What?" she asked.
"Okay, it's great to see you too Lily, but I've been looking for James for the past two hours," he answered. "Now get out of the portrait hole so he can get in here."
"Sirius, I don't know what you're talking about, he's not with me," she stated, moving out of the doorway and into the room.
"No, you guys were out on a date."
"No, we weren't. I was meeting with Professor Slughorn, I just left there like twenty minutes ago, and now I'm here," Lily told him.
"Then where the fuck is he?" Sirius wondered aloud.
"You mean he's not here?" she asked.
"No, I haven't seen him all day."
"He wasn't at dinner?" Lily asked, concern was written all over her face.
"No, that's why we thought he went out to dinner with you."
"Did you check in your dorm room?" she asked.
"Of course I did, what do you take me for a moron?" Sirius stated.
"That's really odd…You know, come to think of it, I didn't see James at lunch either," she informed him.
"Me neither."
"Sirius, where do you think he is?" Lily asked, her voice conveying her worry.
"I don't know," he answered. "Do you thin he may have gone to the Heads room?"
"I'll go check."
"Wait, the map," Sirius said, making it sound as if it was the most obvious solution in the world.
"The map," Lily repeated. "That's right; it'll say exactly where he is."
"Just wait here, I'll go check."
Lily took a seat in one of the plush, red chairs near the fireplace and stared into the flames. After a couple of minutes, she glanced toward the boy's staircase, hoping to catch sight of Sirius, but saw no one. She glanced at the clock on the wall and noted that fifteen minutes had passed since she sat down.
"This is ridiculous," she muttered to herself as she stood up and walked toward the staircase. She glanced around the room, and once she was confident that no one was watching, she darted up the stairs.
She knocked on the door once she reached the top of the stairs and entered as soon as she heard Sirius's voice. "What's taking so long?" she questioned.
"I can't find it," he told her, looking very pale.
"What do you mean you can't find it?"
"I mean, it's not here," he answered.
"Well, where is it?"
"I don't know," he sounded annoyed.
Lily walked over to James's bed, noticed the ruffled sheets and began to look around his area. In her search, she noticed that his was the only bed that wasn't made, which made her come to the conclusion that he was up here sometime today, after the house elves made all the beds.
Looking around, she could tell something wasn't right. Throughout all the clutter that surrounded his bed, something seemed to be missing, but she couldn't quite put her finger on exactly what it was. All she knew, was that it was something huge, something that James prized above most things.
After searching for half an hour, Lily sat down on James's bed and began to stare at the photographs lining his bedside table. There were four framed photos, one of James and the rest of the Marauders at James's house during the summer before their sixth year. Once was of him and his family, and from the looks of it, Lily guessed that James was only five years old when it was taken. The third picture was one of Lily and James together from Christmas break, when they were at his house. The last was of James playing Quidditch, last year's final game of the season.
"Oh my God," Lily finally said, realizing what was missing.
"What?" Sirius asked.
"His broom is gone," she softly responded.
The two friends locked eyes for a moment before they both ran to James's trunk at the end of his bed. Sirius took out his wand and muttered the spell to unlock it before lifting the wooden top and fumbling through its contents.
To the displeasure of both Lily and Sirius, the invisibility cloak was missing. They knew it meant only one thing. James was gone.
Author's Note 2: Okay, I'm so unbelievably sorry it's taken me this long to update. But I promise, and this time for real, that it won't take me this long to update next time! And I know that parts of this are kind of random, but when it comes to you, it comes to you, what can I say? Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and please review!