Desiring Other Times

Chapter 15 – Alignment

Disclaimer: You've read all the previous disclaimers (I hope), so you should know by now that… I don't own Harry Potter.

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Damn with faint praise, assent with civil leer,

And without sneering, teach the rest to sneer;

Willing to wound and yet afraid to strike,

Just hint a fault, and hesitate dislike.

Alexander Pope

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"He hates us, doesn't he?"

"…I wouldn't say that, not really."

"Then what? Whenever he looks at us, whenever he comes back home, he's just… he's just so bitter!"

"Anyone who has lost their magic, anyone who had had so much promise as he did, well… I wouldn't believe you if you said he wasn't bitter about it at all. But he doesn't hate us, Jeremy."

"Don't lie to me." The reply was harsh, and the victim recoiled. "He hates us, I know it. He hates us for bringing him back, for saving him."

"That's not it, that's not it at all. I'm sure he'll… he'll become accustomed to living like a Muggle. Like a Squib."

"He won't. I know it. A Squib never had any magic and Harry, and… oh gods, why him? Why him?" A fear tears, quickly wiped away with a swift sleeve. "And he's never going to get used to it if he keeps coming back home to see Matthew and all the 'accidental' magic he keeps doing. I mean, his… our little brother, not even out of the crib, but has more magic than him! He's never going to forgive us, for making him live like this."

The uncomfortable silence stretched on. Jeremy was leaning against the window sill, and picked mechanically at the rubber seal around the window frame. Other-Harry stood behind him, also looking out the window and down into the street. Moments ago, Harry had swept out of the house (albeit a little awkwardly, as not all of his wounds had healed entirely and the loss of his right arm put his balance off) with a face full of thunder, and had strode down the footpath and away. The garden gate still swung loosely on its hinges, from the force with which he had flung it open.

It had taken almost a year for the wounds on Harry's body to heal – the magic in the lacerations across his body and the jagged wound at his shoulder had resisted all attempts to speed up the process. He had been hooked up to an IV drip that had been customized that the Blood Replenishing Potions that ran through it wouldn't corrode the system, but that had been the best they could do for Harry James Potter. The Healers at St. Mungo's had been horrified at first, but gradually became inured to the terrible injuries Harry had suffered. The media had had a field day – a field month, really – but even that died down when everyone realised what had happened.

Hogwarts had lost a great many students (and a few staff) with the Basilisk attack, but since all but one of the people that had been present when Draco had appeared with the Basilisk were dead, Lucius Malfoy had managed to clear the charges placed posthumously on his son. It certainly hadn't helped the prosecution when all knew that the Potters had never really liked the Malfoys, even if Harry and Draco seemed to have been ready to change all that. The key word, of course, was have.

Harry would never deal with the likes of Lucius Malfoy again, as he was now as good as a Squib. And his situation probably made him 'worse' than a Muggleborn wizard or witch, some would say, as it was as if Magic had tested him and found him wanting. Harry had spiralled into depression, and no amount of Cheering Charms or Positive Potions helped.

Lily took him to a Muggle psychiatrist, one who had graduated from Hogwarts but had found working in a Muggle vocation more satisfying. Whether it was truly more psychologically satisfying or if the few jobs the Wizarding World offered to Muggleborns generally tended to be low-paying, Lily wasn't sure, but if the existence of someone that had chosen the Muggle world over the Wizarding could make Harry feel less depressed that he now had to 'make do' with the Muggle world… then so much the better. The psychiatrist listened patiently, then prescribed him a complex cocktail of antidepressants.

Harry refused to take them, so Lily and James – and sometimes Jeremy – took turns at slipping the drugs into his food or drink. Snape had helpfully taken the drugs, analysed them, then made a potion form of them that certainly couldn't be detected by someone with no magic. Sometimes Matthew distracted Harry for a bit – even if it tended to make Harry angry at him – and they could do it without him suspecting a thing like he normally did.

Matthew was inordinately intelligent at his age, and had begun showing bursts of accidental magic by the time his first birthday came round – one year and three months after Harry had been injured. James and Lily had been planning the third baby for a while, and had wanted the child to have its birthday sometime during the holidays so that they could all celebrate its birthday together at home. Until Harry's 'accident' had happened, and the birth of little Matthew Aster Potter had not brought as much joy as they had thought it would.

Around the time Matthew started showing early signs of magic, Harry loudly announced that he was going to attend Eton College. James and Lily had hopefully taken this as a sign that he was getting back onto his feet (figuratively speaking), and happily used their contacts to ensure his entry. They bought his uniform, his books, everything, and even arranged for tutors to help him catch up to his Muggle counterparts.

Harry had let them 'help'. Then he disappeared off to Eton as a colleger rather than an oppidans, much to the disappointment of Lily and James. Going to Eton College to visit him was only oh so much harder than 'coincidentally' meeting him on the streets of Eton the city.

Jeremy had returned to Hogwarts and came back home to Godric's Hollow every holiday, and the Potter parents had been allowed to take shorter hours to look after their children.

Today was a little more than two years since the accident, and the way Harry had just changed – the loss of his magic, his arm, the irritated amiability he had presented to everyone – made it seem like Harry had died, yet still lived. The constant agony of the situation continued to tear at the hearts and minds of all that had known him, no matter how far they ran from England.

The Patil twins and their extended family completely uprooted themselves from England and returned to India. Hermione Granger's parents had sent her off to a school in the United States that taught a Muggle curriculum on top of their Magic classes – even if it meant she graduated later than the people in Hogwarts, she would still capable of moving between the two worlds with great ease. Justin Finch Fletchley was pulled entirely out of the Wizarding World and was packed off to Eton as well, where he had been planning to go until he had received his letter.

Harry had not taken the boy's presence well, but when the fact that Justin's wand had been snapped and he had been forbidden to return to the Wizarding World was brought up, he was no longer as aggressively intolerant of Justin's presence. Of course, he still hated Justin because he reminded Harry of all that had been, but Harry was no longer as confrontational about it.

There were other children, other families, that were affected by Draco Malfoy's actions. Some died, others were Petrified (those lucky few that had been looking indirectly at the Basilisk), and still others were psychologically damaged at the shock and the loss of so many people. None of those families were as hard hit as the Potter family – living in their family was a ghost of someone they remembered, someone they loved. Somebody who had died and had been replaced by a stranger.

Other-Harry had managed to possess the fake body in time to retrieve all the treasures Harry had possessed, all in order that the Ministry not get their hands on it. The sphere, however, had disappeared, and had later been found in the possession of Jeremy, who claimed that it had popped into existence around the time Harry performed his final spell. The Grail, however, Other-Harry continued to hide. He had created another body, and had possessed it, then pulled enough strings in the right places (probably through a lot of blackmail) to gain him entry into Hogwarts.

Other-Harry posed as Henry Gates, a transfer from a Wizarding school in Northern Europe. From there, he had tricked the Sorting Hat, placed himself in Gryffindor and slowly worked his way into Jeremy's good graces. With Harry having lost his magic, everyone who had doubted Jeremy's 'position' as the Chosen One had felt extremely foolish.

Dumbledore, for one, had pondered long and hard about the discrepancies in the prophecy, when he discovered the only possible solution. They had always thought that Harry, being the brother and 'lighting the way', meant that he would travel down the path that would lead to Voldemort's defeat, and inevitably buy the Chosen One time. So what if Harry really was the Boy-Who-Lived, and he had bought time by defeating Voldemort the first time round, but the Chosen One who would vanquish Voldemort, the one who kill him, once and for all, what if he and the Boy-Who-Lived were two different people?

What if Harry was the Boy-Who-Lived and Jeremy was the Chosen One? It was entirely probable, and explained why Jeremy's scar hadn't been connected to Voldemort at all. In one of Dumbledore's visits into Harry's mind after he lost his magic, he had discovered all the secrets Harry had been hiding – including the connection to Voldemort – as the loss of his magic had dissolved all the barriers.

Even the Secret Oaths had been nullified, and on some odd occasions, Dumbledore wondered if Harry would be attacked for the things he knew. For all Dumbledore knew, Flint might realise that Harry could tell anyone what his completely embarrassing Animagus form was, and proceed to track the boy down and kill him. But Dumbledore would dismiss these worries every time, believing that Harry would be able to look after himself – after all, he had trained himself into peak physical form, and seemed to be continuing to push at his body's limits.

All magical things on Harry's person at the time of the 'accident' had simultaneously and instantaneously combusted – including the wristbands, the copy of the Marauders' Map, his other wand, the enchanted bracers… everything and anything that had been remotely magical. In a fit of thoughtfulness – or thoughtlessness, depending on how you looked at it – Jeremy and his friends had researched how to remake the wristband ward that increased the perceived gravity of the wearer. They had added an extra part to the 'code' that allowed for someone non-Magical to deactivate/reactivate it and also wear it with no ill-effects. The ward would draw on ambient magic to power it, and with a land as soaked in magic as the United Kingdom was, it worked with no problems.

At first, Harry had refused to wear it. But then he had started noticing how much slower, how much weaker he was after his year-long sojourn in St. Mungo's, and had reluctantly started to use the gift. With the horrible scars (even with potions that lessened the swelling) and his rather impressive physical condition, no-one dared threaten him physically, even if he was missing an arm.

"Where's… where's Harry gone?" Lily asked tremulously from the doorway.

Henry grimaced – looks like it was something James had said that had pissed Harry off. "He's left the house. Probably gone to town, or something." He replied, and Jeremy only shrugged and lifted one shoulder in Henry's direction, as if to say 'What he said'.

"Oh…" murmured Lily and she floated wisplike out of the room and down the hallway. To Harry's room.

"I wish I could bring his magic back. But not even the sphere can do it – I've tried using the Soul Magic sphere but it's not working. Even the Transmutation sphere can't bring his arm back – I think whatever spell he did that day prevented any of the damage from actually being healed…" muttered Jeremy. "I don't understand – Dumbledore says the sphere was Harry's, and that it wouldn't allow anyone else to use it. But why did it suddenly appear next to me when… when Harry lost his magic?"

I made a noncommittal noise. "Maybe it only allows itself to be used by someone with magic," I suggested.

He looked at me, frowning a little. "You're talking about it as if the sphere's alive… although," He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Dumbledore did say the sphere acted like it had a personality. So we have an intelligent magical artefact that Harry created, a non-magical Harry and a family full of ghosts." Jeremy banged his clenched fist against the window pane – the magically reinforced glass didn't even shudder. "I hate this. I hate my life."

Jeremy paused. "I guess this is how Harry feels. As if he's useless and nobody wants him anymore. Even before, it probably looked like everyone wanted me, but…" Here, Jeremy looked up at Henry.

"…but Dumbledore explained to me that I didn't have a connection to Voldemort. Because Harry was the Boy-Who-Lived, but not… but not the one the prophecy talked about."

"I don't understand."

A sigh. "It means the Chosen One and the Boy Who Lived are two different people. One would temporarily defeat and delay Voldemort, and the other would destroy him completely."

"Oh." Henry thought about it for a moment. "That explains a lot."

"It does?"

This time it was Henry's turn to sigh. "If the Chosen One and the Boy Who Lived are two different people. Maybe the 'power the Dark Lord knows not' isn't what protected the Boy Who Lived, but something completely different."

A pause. "I still don't understand what you mean about that explaining a lot. I mean, sure, it's something to think about, but…"

"Set a thief to catch a thief – it seems logical that a wizard would have more chance at defeating Voldemort than well, a Muggle."

"He's not a Muggle," was Jeremy's quick reply, and he glared dangerously at Henry.

Henry raised his hands up, palms out. "I know! I'm… look, I'm just trying to make a point here – you're not the Boy-Who-Lived, but Harry is. Logically, people would think that makes him the Chosen One as well, but with him losing his magic, that can't possibly be true. So if you're the Chosen One, then… well…" Henry shrugged. "I don't know. It makes sense to me when I think about it in my head."

"Whatever." Jeremy waved his hand dismissively. "But it doesn't change the fact that he hates us."

Henry looked at the ground, at his feet. "I know."

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Author's Notes: A bit of an angst and exposition chapter, and a lot of time has passed. The twins are now thirteen, Matthew is two and a bit years old, and Other-Harry (Henry) is now in a body that he made with the Holy Grail. Many of the students have pulled out of Hogwarts, and so you won't some characters at Hogwarts.

1. Jobs – what kind of jobs are there out there? No need for psychologists or psychiatrists, just give them a potion or lock them into the attic – seeing as that's how people dealt with insane people back in the Middle Ages. Of course, you could just lock them in St. Mungo's instead. Then there really is no need for things like telecommunications, just Floo Attendants and stuff like that. So many of the jobs that are in the Muggle world just wouldn't exist in the Wizarding world, and I'm assuming that the Wizarding World is as clique-ish as purebloods can get.

Aster – a type of garden plant that flowers, annual plant in the daisy family. Via Latin, and the Greek word 'astēr", meaning 'star'. A star, as you should know (unless the light pollution or just plain pollution is just that bad where you grew up), is a speck of light in a field of darkness – and Matthew is just that. Matthew means 'gift of Yahweh' (God). The Sphere – much more intelligent than anyone realises. Could this be the power the Dark Lord knows not? Maybe! …or maybe not.

I realised that I probably didn't explain what the etymology of some of the names I've used are. Jeremy is a derivation of Jerome (I think), and Saint Jerome was an influential figure with many people under his spiritual direction – Jeremy is going to lead them all to a sort of salvation, but he can't really take them all the way there. If there are any specific names that you think I might have intended for a particularly meaning to be attached to them but you aren't quite sure, do leave a review saying so (or PM me), and I'll attach it to the next update.

Okay, this is the final chapter in Volume 1, and I'll have a two week hiatus to write up a buffer for Volume 2. I've uploaded a HTML version of the entire of Volume 1 (just one file), that you can download from my homepage (which is actually just a link to the download page) and read in one whole go.