I was beyond thankful when the bell rang signaling the end of school, I practically sprinted out the door and to my locker, opening it on the third try – yes! – And then down to Zach's locker. Of course by the time I got to Zach's locker I was about to pass out, but he was holding out a paper bag before I even got there, and I quickly took a few breaths from it to calm myself down.
"Jake, you've got to be more careful – Sheldon will kill me if you faint before we even walk through the front door."
"I know, I know – I just really want to get home." It feels so good to be able to say that – that I want to go home. I think about it as we walk to and board the bus. The last couple of homes we were at weren't really the greatest. Mostly people who had like, fourteen other foster kids and were obviously only in it for the money. I still can hardly believe Kelly and Anna liked us so much they adopted us. There must have been a really good sales pitch. I can picture it – like that creepy mirror from Shrek. "And here we have awkward adolescent number 44970, twin brother of 43527. This little bundle of sarcasm will have you tearing out your hair before he even opens his mouth. He enjoys arguments, pill popping, and staying indoors to perfect his albino inspired skin tone."
"Dude, what are you laughing at?" The sound of Zach's voice shakes me from my little daydream. Even the hippie is frowning.
"Yeah Jake, that elderly woman almost died – it's not funny."
"It wasn't that, it was… never mind." They know I've got issues, but explaining to them that I was busy daydreaming about the mirror on a cartoon telling potential foster parents about my less than lovely personality… they might call the you-know-who to come and you-know-what. They start on a new topic, but before I can even act like I'm paying attention, Zach is saying goodbye and dragging me off the bus. He asks why I was laughing as we cross the driveway, and I reluctantly tell him, hoping with all my might he won't freak out too. I know Zach well, but his friends make me uncomfortably unsure about him sometimes.
"Dude, that's hilarious! Why didn't you tell everyone that?" Zach is laughing so hard he can hardly talk, and of course I start laughing too.
"Hey guys, how was school?" Sheldon asks us as we walk in the front door. He looks at us suspiciously and Zach explains it to him too, and then we all laugh even harder. I feel like I'm in the Brady Bunch. It takes a few minutes before we can stop laughing, and we're all stand there wiping the tears from our eyes and catching out breath when Kelly and Anna waltz in, obviously just returning from tennis.
"Good afternoon boys, how was school?" Anna asked as she graceful hugged each of us.
"It was alright, I made hero." I spoke with a surprising amount of pride, but I guess I don't usually get to speak of any 'accomplishments' other than negative test results from the doctor… and even those are rare.
"That's great Jake!" Kelly said a little too enthusiastically, realizing his mistake and backtracking almost immediately. "Not that there's anything wrong with being a sidekick. Now we have a little variety; anyways, Anna and I are going for dinner tonight and figured you boys probably wouldn't want to come, so why don't you invite a few friends over?" I still can't believe they are so cool about stuff like this, but I don't have anyone to invite.
"Awesome, I'll call Ethan and Maj." Zach is almost glowing as he reaches for the phone and starts dialing memorized numbers.
Kelly and Anna stared expectantly at me long enough for me to feel like I had to mention somebody. "Yeah, I'll call… Lash."
"Oh that's great sweetie, you made a friend today?" I am so lucky Zach didn't hear me. I'm a terrible liar, so I nod my head and leave the room so quickly I'm almost running. What am I going to do? I can't very well not invite anyone and then have Kelly and Anna come home to find me by myself, I can't lie and say that he left early, I can't hang out with Zach's friends – not that he would mind, I just can't stand them. Already knowing it's going to be an awkward phone call, I pick up the phone and call 1-800-SKY-HIGH. I really hope their closed, but just as I'm about to hang up, the secretary's chirpy voice comes loud through the phone.
"Sky High Secondary School."
"Uh hi, I'm a student at Sky High, and I'm looking for the number of a friend of mine, is there any chance you could look it up for me?"
"Can I ask your name please?"
"It's Jake, Jake Switch."
"Oh right, you're the transfer student who came in with Will Stronghold today! Who would you like me to look up?"
"Umm, Lash."
The chirp is gone. "One moment." I'm so glad I'm not doing this in person, cause that would have been unbearably awkward and silent, whereas now I have the annoyingly mechanical 'hold' tune playing, pretty much a repetitive keyboard solo that was probably composed by a group of four year olds arguing over who got to press which keys. Luckily, it doesn't take her very long, but her voice is still far from friendly. I should have just dialed 412 – super information... although I guess I don't know his last name. "Got a pen?" I make the closest sound to a 'yep' I can muster and she continues with the number, hanging up before I even have a chance to respond. Note to self, never tell a secretary you want to contact a student who previously tried to destroy the school while the staff and students were inside ready to be turned into super villain babies. With shaky fingers I dial the number that cost me a potential friend – yes, I am lame enough to consider a secretary a potential friend – and secretly hope no one is home, even though I went through all that trouble and horrible awkwardness.
"Hello?" Crap! I guess I'm lucky in a twisted way that Lash didn't answer the phone, but the overly apparent slur in the voice tells me it's not anyone better.
"Uh, hi… is, is Lash there?" Stutter more, why don't you!
"Jus' a sec. LASH!" Oh dear that was loud. After a few more moments of screaming I hear someone say 'calm down, I got it!'
"Hello?" Oh lord, should I just hang up now? Pretend it was a wrong number?
"Hi, it's Jake." I'm digging my own grave, I just know it.
"…okay."
"Look, I know this is kind of weird, but my parents are going out tonight and Zach's hideously annoying friends are coming over and I'm supposed to invite someone so here I am inviting you even though I know you hate me and would probably rather dunk my head in a toilet or stuff me in a locker, I still kind of have to ask; and by the off chance you're feeling a little less than evil and want to say yes, you could even ignore me and go to a different wing." Oh lord, that was even overwhelming to me. Pretty sure I'm buying my plane ticket tonight and getting the hell out of this town. There's a long pause and I'm just about to hang up when I hear his slightly amused, not in any way reluctant, voice.
"Sure." …? What!? Not only did he say a small variation of the actual word yes, but he said it with… a chuckle? This must be a different Lash, it couldn't be the one I've seen.
"Seriously?" I can't help it; I honestly don't believe it's him.
"Yeah, just give me directions." S-P-E-E-C-H-L-E-S-S!
"Umm, I can get the... umm, limo to come and umm, get you, if you umm, want."
"A limo, what are you, some sort of Beverly Hills playboy?" HE SAID A JOKE!
I attempt to laugh a little before clarifying. "Uh, no; I mean, it's just that my parents are kind of… well off, I guess."
"Alright then, I'm at 4998 Kibbich."
"Okay, Ben will come get you in ten minutes; see you… then." As soon as I hang up I run to grab my inhaler and take a few puffs. God I am so pathetic. You'd think I was just talking to a super model or something! But no, it was a sixteen year old villain who's coming over to watch movies! Can you tell I've never had friends! Yeah, no question mark, as that was obviously rhetorical.
"Hey Jake, most of the gang is here, you want to come watch movies with us?"
"Uh, no thanks." I really hope I don't tell him that Lash is coming, but lately I have very little control of my motor skills.
"Oh come on Jake, you can't honestly say you want to spend the night in your room. Come down and socialize for once."
"I invited Lash over, he'll be here in ten minutes." It's taking Zach a few minutes to realize what I said, but I said it pretty fast and with my mouth covered by my hands, so I can't say I blame him. Oh, and plus also there's the small fact of I said I invited Lash over! Yeah, I think he's got it now; he surprisingly doesn't look mad, but I think this is worse. He kind of looks like I stabbed him in the metaphorical back with an equally metaphorical fork covered in metaphorical rust. Oh man I feel so bad; but I'd feel even worse if I called up Lash and told him that the plans were cancelled, I mean come one, that would just be plain rude… and even more awkward than the invitation was.
"Oh." His lack of emotion stung even more that words would have. I still don't see why it's such a big deal though – I mean, the kid was reformed enough to be let back into school, and he should be happy that I'm at least making an effort, which is more than I've ever done before. He's totally overreacting, I deserve to have friends, and Lash deserves a second chance. "Okay then." A little guilt comes back in as he walks out the door, but I push it aside quickly, remembering that I need to ask Ben to go pick up Lash. When I'm at the top of the staircase I check quickly to make sure Sheldon isn't nearby before sliding down the banister, awkwardly passing that Warren kid on my way down; that guy freaks me out more than Lash and Speed do, so there.
"Hey Ben, would you mind picking up a friend of mine?" He looks slightly shocked, but I guess it's to be expected considering I, literally, never have friends over, let alone send a limo to pick them up. But still, he smiles and nods while I hand him a piece of paper on which I wrote the address to Lash's house. I figure I should let Ben go alone; I'll set up a bit – get a movie ready or something. Ben (I say…er, think his name way too much) gives a slight chuckle as I explain this all to him.