Angst galore in this chapter. Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing. Special thanks to SciFiNutTX and laceym as always.

Chapter 13

John was in a complete haze. He kept replaying memories over and over again. When he'd played all the memories of his sons, he went back to before Mary's death. It seemed like he was really there. He could even hear their voices and smell his Mary's lotion. Suddenly there was something out of place. He heard Mary calling him, but it was coming from outside his memories.

"John. John, look at me."

He tried to ignore it, but Mary's voice became more insistent.

"John Winchester, you look at me right now corporal."

"Mary," John whispered, "I'm so sorry. I killed him. I killed our son. Dean is, oh God, he's dead."

"No he isn't. He's just fine. I just saw him about 18 hours ago. John you have to snap out of this.

Something about the voice changed, it was starting to sound less like Mary and more like his daughter, Katie.

"He's alive. How can that be? Katie said his heart was damaged."

"John, I swear to you he's fine. Sam found a way to fix him and I saw it with my own eyes. I've got pictures of the three of us on my phone if you wanna see them. You can call him yourself if you don't believe me."

"He's alive. You're sure?"

"I'm sure. Daddy, please? You have to snap out of this. You're scaring me." Katie pleaded.

After a few minutes of John repeating, "He's alive." he shook his head. His vision seemed to clear and he finally saw his daughter kneeling in front of him. She had both her hands on his knees and there were signs of tears in her eyes.

"Katie?" John had a confused look on his face, "When did you get back? Are your brothers alright?"

He watched Katie take a very deep breath and let out a long sigh. John thought it was a stall tactic so he started to get a little angry.

"Katherine Winchester," he said in his drill sergeant voice, "you answer me right now."

"They're both fine, John. Sam found a way to save Dean. They're on their way to their next job right now. Why don't you sit tight and I'll go get you something to eat."

John watched his daughter stand up and head for the kitchen door. There was a slight hunch to her shoulders that wasn't there before so he decided to call her back.

"Katie."

She stopped as soon as he said her name, but she didn't turn around to face him.

"Katie, look at me."

He watched her take another deep breath just before she turned to look at him.

"Katie girl," John made sure she could hear his concern, "are you ok?"

"I'm fine, John." Katie replied, "I'm just a little tired. It's been a long week."

"Why don't you go upstairs and get some rest then. Racheal can look out for me for awhile."

"No, it's my responsibility and besides, Racheal isn't here. She went to go see Bobby. I'll get you taken care of and then I'll go grab a couple hours in my bed."

Before he could say anything else, Katie turned and walked into the kitchen. He knew there was something seriously wrong with his daughter, but he also knew she would never tell him. He could only hope that she would call Dean and talk to him. He knew he should call his son himself, but he was afraid to. He thought his oldest child would be angry with him for not being there when he needed his father the most. In an attempt to appease Dean's anger, he might tell his son what had happened and that would cause a rift between his eldest children that could never be repaired. Dean and Katie depended on each other too much for him to do that.

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Katie walked into the kitchen and nearly ran into Racheal.

"Hey, easy there sis." Racheal said.

"I'm sorry Rache. I forgot you were in here." Katie said tiredly.

"You really look like crap." Racheal teased, "Why don't you go upstairs and catch some Z's. I'll watch out for the grump."

"No, I'll do it. I'll slip a sedative into his food to knock him out for a while. Besides, I told him you went to go see your dad. Which is something you need to do."

"I'm not leaving you alone with him. You'll kill him by the end of next week."

"I spent a month alone on the road with the old man. I think I can handle four more weeks until I take his casts off."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, sis. I'm sure. Just hang out in here till he's asleep and then hit the road."

"OK, but you're gonna sit down and rest for a couple minutes while I finish making lunch for all of us."

Katie did as Racheal directed. When lunch was ready, she took John's out to him and then rejoined her friend in the kitchen. They ate in silence. Katie wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone. Too much had happened in the space of a few days.

She had nearly lost it when she walked into that hospital in Iowa and saw her older brother a few days earlier. She had read his chart and all the test results before walking into his room, but she still wasn't prepared to see him like that. Dean's skin was completely white and pasty looking. His eyes were red rimmed and sunk into his head. He almost looked worse than when he was in a coma for three months.

She had been completely freaked out about the whole thing until after the doctor at the clinic told Dean he was fine. She stayed with the boys afterwards to keep an eye on Dean and help them with a job. She had thought about staying with them for a while and letting Racheal handle John, but then Racheal had called her. She knew things had to be really bad and just took off.

Getting back to the cabin and finding John in that state. He looked exactly like Dean had in Iowa. It had truly rattled her to the point that she let down all of her defenses and begged John to be ok. She had even called him "Daddy" for the first time since she was two years old.

When he finally came out of himself, he didn't seem to remember anything she had said to him. He had taken her sigh of relief that he was ok as a stall tactic and he went into drill sergeant mode. That tone in his voice had immediately snapped all her walls back into place. She hated that tone in his voice and wanted to smack him every time he used it with her.

"I think he's asleep now."

Katie nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of Racheal's voice.

"Yeah, ok. You should get going then." Katie said.

"You're sure about this?" Racheal asked.

"I'm sure. Bobby is probably worried sick about you."

"Ok, if you need anything, you know my number."

"Thanks, Rache. I'm sure we'll be ok."

Katie saw her friend off and then checked on John one last time before curling up on the other couch and going to sleep.