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Chapter Seven

The Heart of the Ocean

It wasn't until I was finally alone in my stateroom that I was able to gather my thoughts of what had happened. I lifted the hem of my white dressing gown and sat down at my dressing table. I lifted the lid on my music box and began brushing my hair.

Immediately my thoughts turned to Jack Dawson. Who was this young man? Where did he come from? What was it about him that intrigued me even now? One thing was for certain… for a moment in time our lives had intertwined and I would never be the same because of it. Had he felt it as well? Was he thinking of me as I was thinking of him?

Perplexed at my own feelings on the matter, I had to wonder what kind of person Jack Dawson was to have done what he did for me tonight. Poor, though he obviously was, there something undoubtedly special about him. Maybe it was his quick smile and clear blue eyes or maybe it was the way his rough hand had felt warm and secure in my own.

I didn't know, but what I did know is when I slipped, he refused to let go. He held me tightly, encouraging me, pulling me up to safety. How did one repay someone for that? And if that weren't enough, he backed up my ridiculous story of the propellers without even a thought. He went along with me, never letting his surprise show.

Jack Dawson was an enigma and I knew I had to see him again. In spite of the barriers that existed between our worlds, I knew I would seek him out. I had to find out more about him. He had pulled me back from a disaster of my own making and if nothing else I had to show him my gratitude for what he had done.

Glancing down at my cracked hand mirror I picked it up and felt remorse at my actions of earlier. Regardless of how I may have felt, what I had tried to do was clearly not the answer.

A tap at my door caught my attention and I sat the mirror down as Cal opened it and leaned against the door frame. He stared at me for a moment before speaking.

"I know you've been melancholy. I don't pretend to know why." He stepped fully into the room then and pulled a blue, velvet box from behind him. "I intended to save this until the engagement gala next week," he walked over to the dressing table and closed the lid on the music box, propping himself on the edge in its place. "But, I thought… tonight," he finished before prying the lid of the box open, displaying the contents inside.

I had never seen anything like it. It was a magnificent blue stone, at least fifty carats in size, attached to a string of diamonds to form one of the most exquisite necklaces I had ever seen.

"Good gracious," I breathed.

He laughed quietly. "Perhaps this is a reminder of my feelings for you."

"Is it a-"

"Diamond?" he finished for me with a broad smile and stood. "Yes, fifty-six carats to be exact," he came behind me then and hooked the necklace around my neck. He stared at my reflection as he spoke. "It was worn by Louis the Sixteenth and they called it 'Le Coeur de la Mer'."

"The Heart of the Ocean," we said in unison.

"Yes," he smiled.

I stared at the enormous diamond sitting so daintily around my neck. I had never been given such an extravagant gift in my entire life. I reached up to touch it, overwhelmed by its size and history and I told him this.

"Well, it's for royalty," Cal responded with assurance. "And, we are royalty, Rose."

I didn't know how to respond to him. I didn't know if I could give him what he wanted from me. He wanted the Rose that he had created in his mind, not the Rose I felt I was inside. He moved to kneel next to me, propping his elbow on the table, still looking at me through the mirror.

"There's nothing I couldn't give you, nothing I'd deny you… if you would not deny me," he then turned and looked at me intently.

I knew what he meant. He had intimated at it for some time now, but I had not been able to bring myself to do what he wanted. I knew once we were married I couldn't stop the inevitable from happening, but we weren't married yet and I was not ready to go to him in that way. He must have sensed my dilemma for his features softened towards me.

"Open your heart to me, Rose," he quietly implored.

There was no way for me to respond to his request. I had not opened my heart to him and I doubted that I ever would. I did not love him and I couldn't force myself to feel what wasn't there. I turned to look at myself in the mirror and in spite of his generous gift and kind words, I felt empty inside.

I gripped the diamond and then ran my fingers along the ridged line of smaller diamonds. What was the price of love? I wondered. Could a monetary value be put on it as Cal tried to do over and over again? Could it be bought and sold?

The answer was clear and defined as far as I was concerned. Love could not be bought, taken or forced. It could not be placed in a diamond necklace wrapped in a velvet box nor could not be taken out and put on display for the entire world to see.

How sad I felt in that moment. Not only sad for myself, but for Cal as well. He would never see beyond his possessions and money and what they could buy him. He would be forever trying to obtain what he could not have, never seeing that what he wanted was not bought, but given freely.

And how sad for me that I could not freely give him what he was trying so hard to obtain.