A/N Alright people this is a completley cracktastic story that a friend of mine asked me to write. Ashurii is the way my friend's name is pronounced in Japanese. This has hints of Inu/Kag in it so yeah whatever. Just R&R plz?
Twas a lovely sunny day in a small unknown Japanese city, Possibly Tokyo due to Mt Fuji(refer to movie 2). The birds were singing their beautiful songs which were actually cuss words in bird-speak. Random pedestrians were walking about aimlessly or just standing still like statues (I always wonder why they never move when you see them in the background you'd think they would want to get where they need to be in a hurry eh?) The day seemed perfectly wonderful until...
"KAGOME NEE-CHAN!"
Kagome turned around and looked towards the stairs where the voice had come from. She spotted a four year old girl with pigtails wearing an orange jumper running towards her. Her mom was holding a bag of groceries and looked as if she had just been dragged halfway through hell. (She always has a bag in her hands I swear! How much does Souta eat?)
"EH! Ashurii-chan!" Kagome smiled as the little girl ran up to hug her.
"Hello, Kagome dear, I hope you don't mind but I offered to babysit your cousin for the next few days is that alright?" Kagome's mom said tiredly with a hint of regret.
"Sure mom, but what's wrong with you, you look realy tired." Kagome asked with concern.
"Oh nothings wrong, I'm just tired because Ashurii-chan here decided to play 'race the carts' down an aisle full of people and then she decided it would be fun to fill the cart full of Barney toys...that awful dinosaur." Kagome's mom shuddered.
"Barney?" Kagome asked looking horrified.
"Yes...she is currently going through the Barney craze just as you and Souta did." Kagome's mom sighed remembering how vicious her kids had become during the time they watched Barney.
"Please mom don't remind me." Kagome sighed embarrassedly.
Suddenly the Barney cult's song began to be sung.
"I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME! WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY" Ashurii began to sing it in all its annoyingness that can haunt someone for the rest of their life.. (I'm serious if you watched Barney as a kid you can still here the song playing inside your mind! Please make the voices go away...)
"Hey why do I here the Barney song?" Souta came out of the house looking utterly horrified and twitching.
"WITH A KISS AND A HUG AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU! WON'T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO!" Ashurii finished by running up to the nearest person, who unfortunately was Souta, and gave them a big hug. He was still twitching hours later and could be heard mumbling something like "Make it go away make it go far away."
"Well good luck mom! I'm going back to Inuyasha now!" Kagome began running for dear life towards the well when she ran into something red.
The red thing was also silver and had dog ears, you'll never guess who it was. Aw how did you know!
"Oi wench what are you doing?" Inuyasha looked down at her curiously.
"Getting away from the purple monster of doom that has brainwashed millions of children."
"Monster where!" Inuyasha placed a hand on his Tetsuiga ready to face the so-called monster that had terrified his Kagome. (I like InuKag it's the OTP of the series so deal got it!)
"Ooh hey it's a doggy man! HI DOGGY MAN!"
"Please don't let her cuteness trick you she is pure evil! She works for the purple devil!" Kagome whispered with fear.
"Hey Doggy man! Ya wanna go watch some tv with me!" She used her puppy eyes...and they miraculously worked on Kagome and Inuyasha.
"Um...what is she making us watch?" Inuyasha looked at Kagome for answers but was cut off by the atrocious song.
"OH HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT!" Inuyasha yelled covering his ears...alas it did not block the sound coming from the little magic box that brought both good things and bad. In this case very, very, very bad.
"Its Barney, I love Barney Don't you?" Ashurii turned around with a demonic look in her eye that clearly said 'touch the remote and you will die a very slow and painfull death.' Inuyasha wisely decided not to touch the remote, regardless of the fact that he didn't know what a remote was.
Kagome looked like she was foaming at the mouth and looking for a way to escape. Souta had long since been locked in his nice soundproof room. Inuyasha looked like he was going to kill the tv which, in all likely hood he would if the little girl stopped turning around to give him puppy eyes.
'I know I'll just wait until the girl leaves then I'll chop the box to bits so she can't watch it anymore' Inuyasha smirked at his deviously clever plan.
Unfortunatley the girl did not cooperate and instead continued to watch the show for what seemed to be an eternity to Inuyasha. Finally hours later the Barney marathon was over and the girl fast asleep. Inuyasha walked up to the tv and then began to furiously chop at it with Tetsuiga.
"Ha damn tv box thought you could win well think again!" Inuyasha gave a little victory sign and began to walk away so that he would not get yelled at for breaking the tv when...
The song...
The horrible song...
It began to play from everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
Inuyasha did what I'm sure any brave and heroic man would do...he ran, very far and very fast back to the time from whence he came. And what of Kagome she had long since found a way of escape she simply excused herself for the bathroom and snuck out the window. The little girl knew none the wiser. Don't ask how because even I do not know.
Barney... no matter how many times we try will forever remain on this earth in one form or another.