Chapter 31:

Hufflepuffs, Goblins, and Fangirls- Oh My!

Malcolm grunted irritably as his target attempted to keep his balance- which of course involved clinging to Malcolm like a second skin. Ugh, Hufflepuff trash.

He winced as the older boy slipped to the ground bringing Malcolm with him- despite the Hufflepuffs frantic attempts to grab the wall. Sighing as the other boy hit him in the eye for the fifth time, Malcolm bit his lip in frustration and tried to recall if Malfoy forbid him from mauling the dolt. Well, he hadn't exactly…

"Oof-"Ernie gasped as the dark-haired boy's fist plummeted into his mid-drift: 'What the hell?'

He winced and scooted as far away as possible- Merlin, were all Slytherins as psycho as Malfoy?

…

Apparently so. Damn.

The Slytherin stood- at which point Ernie noticed with detached curiosity that he was sort of attractive…in a slimy git kind of way. If you liked that type…

'Oh for the love of-' He did!

"Damn Hufflepuffs…"

It speaks! Ernie snorted and added a notch in the Intelligence category of his Prospective Boyfriends list. …It was for his friends- really. Yeah…whatever.

Dusting himself off, he shakily stood using a rock hard wall for support- good god! It was the Slytherin again! Mmmm….muscles…'Oh- not good! No drooling Ernie…Ah, ask him something! Go on, no just standing there like an idiot…'

"Erm…gotoHogsmeadewithme?"

Malcolm raised an eyebrow at the bumbling boy- "Do what with you?"

"Ah," Ernie took a deep breath- 'Merlin, that's fantastic cologne…'-"Hogsmeade. You know, would you go with me?"

Well this was different. Malcolm rubbed a tanned arm across the back of his neck wearily- bloody hell, Malfoy owed him for this one.

"Sure- but first I was wondering something…"

Poor Ernie never saw it coming. Though…he got a date out of the whole ordeal, so he didn't really care anyway ('Damn he's tall…Mmm- yummy!')

…the tension mounted between the two men to an almost unbearable amount- until at last they lunged for each other. Hands frantically grasping for a hold of the other's clothing, Elric gasped heatedly as he was finally able to thrust his-

"Don't finish that sentence!"

"Ah?" Draco raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow at the…tomato-colored Weasel? He smirked- "Lovely color Weasel- almost as red as that mop you call hair."

Ron snarled- "Sod off," he clamped his hands over his burning cheeks, "Uh- I don't think that's how the Goblin War of 1587 came out."

"Aw, but my version is so much more interesting, Won-Won." Draco's smirk widened as Ron sputtered in indignation.

"Dammit, Malfoy! Don't call me that-"

Draco pinched one red cheek and grinned roguishly, "Don't be silly Dumpling, the name suits you. Now about this project…I was thinking of performing a dramatic reenactment- of my version of course- We should probably start practicing now…you know, to be ready in time for the due date…"

A squawk of surprise and terror followed Draco's lunge, "H-hey now! That's off-limits, you hear? Aack! N-not t-there!"

Hermione quirked one eyebrow and barely held in a snicker at the sight oh-so-conveniently displayed before her. It was just so utterly delicious!

Blaise twitched, shifting uncomfortably on the ground. "Erm- a hand?"

She smirked, cocking her head at his prone form, "Oh, but you seem to already have two extra- and so eager too."

Marla Brasset merely sighed happily and continued her assault on the boy's robes. She bit her lip anxiously as they refused to part, denying her a glance at the divine body she just knew was hidden underneath. Goodness sake, must the uniforms be that shapeless monstrosity? It simply didn't do the lovely bums of Hogwarts justice! Especially the bums of certain Slytherins recently sighted on Hogsmeade visits wearing muggle jeans- Mmm…that naughty, naughty boy.

Blaise squinted down at the petite girl currently clawing at his clothes, and sighed, sending his most pathetic pout up at a bushy-haired girl far too amused at his tragic situation.

"You know, you could at least pretend to be sympathetic."

Hermione attempted to keep a chuckle from escaping- "You are so right. I'm terribly sorry you are being lusted after by a Fourth-Year Hufflepuff."

"E-eh?" Blaise squeaked as his robes were breached; nimble fingers reached for the buttons of his jumper-

"H-Hermione!"

She huffed, puffing out her cheeks childishly while pulling out her wand and muttering a half-hearted spell.

"You ruin all of my fun, Blaise."

Tugging his ripped shirt closed to maintain some semblance of modesty he tried to subdue the flush flooding his cheeks.

"As always, happy to be of assistance."

She chuckled, offering him a hand up and heaving him up a moment later. Out of unspoken agreement they headed down the corridor towards Potions, the class they'd been headed to before being ambushed.

"I absolutely adore the girlfriend. New addition, is she?"

Blaise growled- he so felt his twitch starting up again. "She is not my girlfriend, dammit."

Hermione chuckled, tossing her hair and drumming a merry little tune on her text. "She's just so demure! People can't fake things like that, you know!"

The teasing tone wore away his gruff mood, a smile slowly appearing, "I'm thinking of dropping her actually."

A horrified gasp was the response, "Oh dear, whatever for?"

Blaise eyed his companion, letting his gaze rest fondly on cinnamon eyes sparkling over with mirth. He placed a hand to his heart, "She is just so cold," he bemoaned. "I get next-to-no affection. Hermione," he clutched his sleeve, sniffing slightly, "I think she's cheating on me!"

"Indeed?" Hermione grinned, "You really do have quite the following, Blaise."

"Ah?" All pretenses ofplaying a gamedropped, he quirked a questioning brow. "How so? Besides my little stalker back there, of course."

She scoffed, "You have a fanclub didn't you know? They meet every erm- Thursday, I believe. In the back of the library."

Blaise paused- she knew the specifics? Uh- he suddenly beamed, "And you're a member, I assume?"

Choking, Hermione blushed furiously under his scrutiny- "No! Of course not! The very thought-"She cleared her throat, "I just hear them- their little club meeting is at the table next to mine and all."

Not disheartened in the slightest, Blaise threw an arm around her shoulders, oblivious to her ever-darkening flush. "Well, darling, if I'd known you loved me that much…"

"Now w-wait just a minute!"

He extracted his arm and, grabbing her hand instead, propelled her down the hallway. "Not now, Peaches," he threw a roguish wink over his shoulder at her. "We've a Snape to visit."

---