Peyton opened the door and stepped into Karen's Café. She peeked in and took a glance around, hugging a large stack of papers close to her. Not much had changed in the café, but it felt different for some reason. She continued in, taking a few steps, still looking around. She spotted someone familiar and approached from behind. "Hey," she greeted nervously.
Lucas turned around and realized who was behind him. He should've recognized her voice, but she had disappeared for so long, he didn't expect her to be there. Only taking a moment before turning back around, Lucas asked, "Can I get you something?"
He cleared off a few plates, placing them into a plastic tub behind the counter. Running a rag over the counter as well to clean the spots, he focused hard on his work. He was trying his best to avoid Peyton for various factors, not wanting to explain himself. Part of him didn't think he needed a justification, and that she should just know.
All Peyton could do was watch him. It hurt her that he was trying to stay away from her, but she understood. She expected him to treat her differently, even if she didn't want him to. She knew it was her fault that Brooke was gone now, and how he must've hated her for it. Even worse than that, maybe Brooke told him about her love for him, and that made Lucas hate her even more.
Peyton quickly dropped her head to look down at her feet, the tension between them incredibly stiff. She shook her head to his question and answered, "Actually, I was looking for Haley."
He stopped wiping down the counters for a moment. Even though things between them were weird, he was somewhat disappointed that she wasn't looking for him. Lucas blew that thought from his mind and returned to the cleaning. "She's not in until later," he responded, not bothering to turn around.
"Oh…" Peyton shifted her weight and stared down into her pile of papers. She fingered through a few of them, pulling a few pieces of white paper off of a stack of colored ones. "Well can you give these to her?" Peyton asked, holding the white papers out. As soon as Lucas turned around and accepted them, she explained, "It's more info about the benefit."
Taking the papers, Lucas stared down at them strangely. He noted the time and dates which were coming up soon. Looking up at her, he felt a little more than uninformed, more like plain left out. "You're doing another one?" he inquired.
Pressing her lips together, Peyton nodded. "Yeah," she confirmed. Peyton reached down to her colorful stack of paper and handed Lucas a red one. A moment later, she elaborated, "For depression."
Lucas squinted as he continued eyeing her, flashing glances between Peyton and the flyer. He could tell that she drew it herself, the way it could be dark and touching at the same time. It was drawing of a faceless person, huddle in the corner, surrounded by darkness. It seemed like any other Peyton comic, but he could feel more was behind it. More was behind everything these days. "Were you--" Lucas started with concern, not really sure of how to ask the question. He took another look at the flyer before looking up at Peyton with more worry for her health. "Are you..?"
"No," Peyton replied with a nervous chuckle. She shook her head and glanced down, breaking their eye contact. She looked over the comic for a moment, thinking about why she chose to benefit depression awareness. "But Jimmy," she started, thinking about everything that happened with the shooting. "I just thought it'd make a difference if people understood," she finally finished, not wanting to go into too much detail, figuring that Lucas would understand.
Taking the hint, Lucas nodded as well. He knew that the subject was touchy as well as she did. "You're always trying to make a difference, aren't you?" he inquired with a faint smile.
Peyton started to nod, but stopped herself. She always tried to help when she could, but she knew that things were beyond her. With a shrug, Peyton answered, "The shooting's just made me think about a lot of things."
Lucas glanced over the flyer another time, taking in the pain it conveyed. He swallowed hard, thinking about how his life has changed. "You're not the only one," he responded softly. He watched over her for a moment, and could tell by her body language was shutting him out. All he could do was stare, wondering what thoughts the shooting brought to her mind, especially since they had been distant lately.
Slowly, Peyton rolled her eyes up to look at Lucas. She saw that pondering look on his face, and it felt strange. He hadn't looked at her that way in the longest time, and even longer since she had been away. "Never said I was," she remarked, still gazing into his eyes. She knew he was trying to read her, but even if she could put what she was feeling into words, she didn't think anyone, including herself, would be able to understand.
Nodding, Lucas took a deep breath. The last time they lost touch, both of them went down roads that they'd never want to repeat. Only when they found each other again, did they realize how much they needed each other. "Life's too short to live as a bad person…" Lucas cooed.
With wide eyes, Peyton stared at Luke, somewhat shocked. She remembered the precise time she had spoke those words, and those same feelings came rushing back to her. "Exactly," she whispered.
The last time they spoke of being bad people had to do with Brooke and their relationship. It was a bad time, when the two had decided to give each other up to spare heartache. But that pain wasn't so easy to avoid. People still got burned, and hiding feelings got harder and harder by the moment. And to this day, Peyton was still hiding her feelings, hoping that no one would have to get hurt.
"I'm sorry," Lucas blurted, breaking the awkward silence. He turned his full attention to her, taking the papers for her hands and his, and setting the papers down on the counter so nothing was between them.
Peyton stared at him strangely. If anyone was to be sorry, she thought it was herself. "For what?" she questioned.
Lucas tilted his head at Peyton. He could see she was obviously oblivious to his apology, when he thought he was the one to blame for their recently lost friendship. "For blaming you for what happened between me and Brooke," he explained. It was only seconds before he returned the confused look to Peyton, wondering what she was thinking.
Peyton instantly started shaking her head and avoiding Lucas' eyes. "She wouldn't have left Tree Hill if I didn't—"
"She wouldn't have left if she really loved me," Lucas started, "no matter what happened between the two of you." Luke took a deep breath and swallowed hard. He had finally admitted to himself what he had been staying away from since both girls left town. Lucas nodded shyly to himself before looking back into Peyton's eyes and placing a soft hand on her shoulder. "It wasn't your fault."
Pressing her lips together, Peyton gave herself the same self-aware head nod. "I'm still sorry," she added, looking at Lucas timidly.
Lucas smiled faintly. "I know," he replied, feeling her sincerity. It felt like they were finally closing in on the gap between them. And even though the subject of conversation was still causing both of them pain, it was a little better knowing that they had each other. "So am I."
Exhaling deeply, like a sigh of relief, Peyton placed her hands into her back pockets. "So what now?" she questioned with a bit of hesitation and nervousness in her voice.
The smirk on Lucas' face brightened a touch, happy that they put all the weird tension past them. He shrugged, not sure how exactly to answer her question, but at the same time, knowing he needed to get something off of his chest. With arms wide open, Lucas took Peyton in a deep hug, holding her close and embracing her touch. "I've missed you," he confessed, sighing into her ear.
"I've missed you too," Peyton stated, taking Lucas into her arms as well. She hugged him tight, realizing just how much she longed for his touch the entire time she was gone. She still didn't know where they stood, or if he knew about her love confession to Brooke, but things weren't so bad now. The only other thing on her mind was the music.