Sanzo's back and shoulders were killing him, but he'd die before he admitted it. Clearly, the cockroach needed to lose some weight ... or gain some sense. The cool, refreshing taste of nicotine soothed the ruffled priest's nerves. He could at least count on the kappa to understand the absolute necessity of a good smoke.
He could hear the sounds of booted feet approaching, but he studiously ignored them. They could bloody well wait until he was finished with his cigarette, especially since he hadn't had one in hours. The business end of a rifle intruded on his meditations and prodded him rudely on the shoulder, then swung into his face. "Stand up!" the soldier in front of him barked.
Sanzo glared at the menacing barrel and carefully rolled forward onto his knees again. Apparently he wasn't fast enough, though, because another set of hands grabbed his shoulders and yanked him roughly to his feet. Luckily for them, he had enough presence of mind to avoid dropping his cherished cigarette or biting off its end. It was damp and drooping, but it was still hanging defiantly between his lips and producing a thin trail of smoke.
His eyes slid left and right, taking in the situation. There were four of them, in all, making the small tent feel rather crowded. One of them was standing in front of him and covering him with an aimed rifle, one was standing behind Gojyo's head and appeared to be chaining his hands to the metal bar at the head of the cot, the redheaded chick was back and was sitting down in a camp chair set at the edge of the cot, and the fourth one was clearly in charge. The smug bastard was seated in another camp chair, this one situated in the corner of the tent opposite the camp bed. There were no other chairs. Lovely.
The sound of cloth tearing was followed by the sound of scissors snipping. "Ooh, kinky," Gojyo's voice floated over from behind Sanzo's back. "But I don't generally perform for audiences, sweetie." Flirting shamelessly, as always. Sanzo ground his teeth, causing his cigarette to waver dangerously.
"Owww! Damn, you're mean!" The pained exclamation was accompanied by the sound of murmured orders being issued by the redheaded soldier. Sanzo's eyes slid inexorably toward the camp bed. The pervy water sprite had probably deserved whatever he'd gotten, but Sanzo felt uneasy. The kappa was an idiot, but he was his idiot, dammit.
"Never mind them," the commanding officer instructed. "I want to know what you're doing here in Niko woods." The man's eyes were hard and sharp. Sanzo scowled.
"Trying to leave," Sanzo growled, maintaining a determined grip on his cigarette.
"Really? What brought you here in the first place, then?"
"Nnnn, the damned endless ravine from hell," Gojyo grunted. "At-chaaa! Watch it, there, minx!" This comment was followed by the sound of a hearty thump and then shortly thereafter by the rattling of chains. "You call yourself a doctor!? What the hell!?"
Sanzo's eyes slid toward the water sprite again. What the hell were they up to? The military belts that had been used to bind the kappa's legs together as a temporary splint had been removed, and so had the cloth below the knee of his right trouser leg. It looked like the smudged and bloody strips of cloth wrapped around the wound were in the process of being cut off. Sanzo's fingers twitched irritably. The sleeves of this robe were ruined now, thanks to that incompetent cockroach. At least the idiot looked like he was actually being treated, despite his complaints.
After a few seconds of glaring pointedly at the woman working on his leg, Gojyo's head fell back on the cot, and he continued. "We're fucking travelers, you got that? We're just passing through your miserable Neko woods or whatever. You treat all your guests this way? 'Cause I can tell you now, we've been traveling for a while now, and your reception's really climbing the sucky scale."
"Travelers?" the sharp voice of the commander called out. "On foot? Where are your supplies, then?"
Smoke drifted lazily past Sanzo's nostrils. What the hell were these people up to? They'd run into hostile and suspicious humans before, but they were generally townsfolk who'd been attacked by youkai recently. These soldiers weren't natives, so what were they doing here, and why were they so hostile?
"Obviously on foot, moron. How else do you think I got my leg stuck in your blasted trap?!" Gojyo's face contorted in pain again, and his eyes slid briefly to meet the priest's. "And can somebody slide me just an inch lower on this damn cot? This metal bar is killing me, here."
"We've been here for weeks now, and we haven't seen a single traveler in all that time. This country is practically a war zone with all the rabid youkai running rampant. Try again."
"What the hell are you doing here, then?" Sanzo asked pointedly, turning back to the commanding officer.
"Protecting our interests." Tenjo steepled his hands and cocked his head on the side, assessing the irritated and bedraggled blond in front of him. After a short pause, he continued. "All right, suppose I accept that you're travelers. That still leaves the question of how you managed to hold off a horde of youkai. Not many humans can boast of such a feat, especially unarmed."
"Yeah, well, I am pretty amazing sometimes," Gojyo drawled from the cot. "I was cleaning up before I fell into your damned trap. What were you tryin' to catch, anyway? I'm guessing it wasn't actually me."
"Yes, about that," Tenjo started, a gleam in his eye. He was interrupted by a soldier who ducked into the tent and leaned over to whisper in his ear. After several short, low-pitched, and tense comments were exchanged, Tenjo nodded, and the soldier left, ducking back out of the tent.
"You wouldn't happen to know anything about a cave entrance collapsing, would you?" he asked pointedly.
"No, should I?" Sanzo asked, his brow furrowed in impatience. Was this some kind of test? How the hell should he know what's happened to a cave he's never seen?
"My men," Li's voice cut in sharply. "Any casualties?"
"They're fine," Tenjo reassured her. "It was already caved in when they got there. The excavation is already in progress. I'm going to need you to go talk to the natives and see if they know anything. You're finished here, aren't you?"
"Almost, sir," Li responded, saluting smartly and gathering up her supplies. Standing up, she spoke to Gojyo. "You're going to need to take one of these every six hours for the next two days. They're to prevent infection from setting in." With that, she set a small plastic bottle filled with white pills on the cot. She nodded to the soldier at the head of the cot. "Release him. He can't walk anyway."
Tenjo stood up and addressed his prisoners. "I'm going to have to ask you to stay here for now. I have more pressing issues to attend to right now, but we'll continue this conversation tomorrow. Feel free to make yourselves comfortable."
Gojyo growled, but he was somewhat distracted by the soldier releasing hands. "At least send us another frickin' cot. He's a real asshole when he doesn't get his beauty rest."
Sanzo glared daggers at Gojyo, but there was no answer from the soldiers as they swiftly evacuated the tent. Gojyo sat up, rubbing his wrists. "Bastards!" he muttered. His eyes flicked to Sanzo, who was now pacing back and forth in the tent.
"Where the hell are Hakkai and Goku!?" Sanzo turned again, his muddy robes flapping a bit as he spun.
"I dunno where Goku is. We got ambushed in the damn fog, and he just took off, the stupid monkey. I figured he ran into you."
"Obviously not," Sanzo snarled, still pacing.
"Well what about Hakkai? I thought he was with you." Gojyo frowned. This day had just totally sucked, and he had a sneaky suspicion that it would never end, at this rate. His leg ached, and he couldn't move it. He was filthy and desperately wanted a bath. His head was resting on the hardest metal bar known to the world. He hadn't had a smoke in fucking forever. Sanzo was pacing and giving him a headache. The monkey had abandoned him in the middle of a battle and was off gallivanting who knew where. Hakkai was AWOL. And Sanzo was pacing like a caged panda, which was going to make Gojyo go cross-eyed any second now. "Fucking stop that, dammit, and tell me where Hakkai is!" Gojyo growled in frustration.
"Hell if I know. That healer of Kougaiji's showed up and wanted to talk to him." The blond priest paused briefly in his cramped pacing. "Last I saw, she was leading him somewhere. Probably a trap. I knew I shouldn't have trusted any of Kougaiji's minions."
Gojyo threw his hands up in the air and rolled his eyes. "You worry too damned much." He lay back down on the cot, ignoring the priest's scowl, and banged his head again. Irritated, he finally managed to scoot lower now that his hands were free. "She probably just wanted to get him alone so they could make out or something. About time too. Those two have been digging on each other forever. Seriously! That never occurred to you, man? Way to get all worked up over nothing."
Sanzo stalked over to the cot and leaned menacingly over the water sprite's head. "Not everything is about sex, you damned pervert!" Why the hell was Gojyo so relaxed about Hakkai doing unspeakable things with the enemy? Didn't he care about his friend? Stupid water sprite! Stupid!
"Oh, lighten up, Mr. High-and-Mighty Priest. I just hope our lovebirds get a move on so we can get the hell outta here. But, for now, I'm just gonna," Gojyo yawned, "recharge my batteries. A bed's a bed, after all. At least I can stretch out."
Sanzo scowled and kicked one of the cot's support legs. It swayed in a satisfying manner, and made the water sprite yelp as his eyes flew open and his arms clutched the metal frame. By the time Gojyo had sat up, the priest had already turned his back on him and was awkwardly lowering himself onto the ground in the opposite corner, facing the tent flaps. He watched the blond's awkward maneuvering for a few minutes in silence, and then lay back down on his cot. Sanzo definitely needed to loosen up some. Maybe he wouldn't be so damn touchy if he got laid now and then. Gojyo closed his eyes. Meh. He'd worry about that in the morning. Now he just wanted some sleep.
Unfortunately, three uncomfortable hours later, in which he tried several times to move in his sleep, only to feel a sharp stab of pain when his leg protested, Gojyo's bladder was really very full, and he wasn't going to get any more sleep until he emptied it. He growled and shivered. Stupid sleeveless jacket, stupid torn trousers. He turned his head and stared at the silent huddled form in the corner of the tent. Stupid priest with his long robe. He was probably snug as a bug. Man, this was why camping out sucked. Gojyo shifted some more on the camp bed and contemplated his options: wake up the pissy priest and ask him for help, or stumble out of the tent on his own. Obvious choice, really.
Four panting minutes later, Gojyo was on the floor clutching the edge of the cot. Damn, that hurt! The stupid witch doctor obviously didn't know what she was doing. "Okay, take five," he told himself, "then back into the fray."
"You won't get far like that, so stop making so much damned noise. Some of us are trying to sleep." Ah, shit. So much for not waking up his royal holiness.
"Have a heart, man. Call of nature," Gojyo grunted, and promptly overturned the cot in his attempt to pull himself into a vertical position. "Dammit!" he swore, and lay, flat on his back, staring at the canvas pressing against his nose.
"Pathetic," observed a voice above him, and suddenly the cot was kicked away. in the darkness, Gojyo could just make out the soft outlines of a flowing robe. The standing figure knelt silently next to him, head turned away.
"My hero," the redhead murmured as he tucked his good leg under himself and clutched the proffered shoulder. Awkwardly, the two of them managed to struggle to their feet. In the uncoordinated scramble, Gojyo had noticed that Sanzo's hands were now cuffed in front rather than in back. He decided not to ask. His bladder was too full to care.
"I get the cot after this," Sanzo growled, and headed toward the back of the tent. Gojyo grunted in acknowledgment. Anything was better than the indignity of pissing his pants. Right arm slung around the priest's tense shoulders, he conjured his shakujou and sliced a slit in the back of the tent. Their guards were probably either sleeping or otherwise distracted if the recent commotion hadn't already drawn their attention, but it didn't hurt to be circumspect, especially if it meant getting to the nearest tree faster.
The camp seemed surprisingly quiet around them. Most of the soldiers must be sleeping, then. Gojyo huffed as he hobbled along, trying desperately not to jar his right leg more than absolutely necessary. Luckily, the nearest tree proved to be attainable, and Gojyo clutched it gratefully with his left arm. The priest had already moved away and turned his back on the proceedings. Gojyo appreciated the gesture as he fiddled with the appropriate fastenings and took care of his business.
Although the trip had definitely relieved the insistent pressure on his bladder, he was now forced to acknowledge that his stomach was uncomfortably empty. It growled menacingly. "Cheee!" Gojyo moaned.
"What now!?" Sanzo hissed from behind him. The water sprite wobbled for a second in surprise, and then caught his balance by once again swinging his arm around the priest's shoulders.
"Well, we're out anyway. What do you say we raid their food stores?" Gojyo's warm body leaning up against his left side unnerved Sanzo. It was disconcerting because he thought he'd put all that behind him years ago when he'd left Shuei. All that mattered now was recovering his sensei's scripture. Nothing else mattered. Everything else was a distraction.
"Fine," Sanzo grunted, reminded that he, too, was hungry. It had, after all, been a long day, and the bastards owed them some dinner, at least. They hobbled back toward camp.
"Which tent was it?" Gojyo whispered, brow furrowed. He'd been a bit disoriented at the time, what with staring at feet and trying to ignore being split in half.
"I thought you knew," Sanzo hissed back, and shifted his shoulders in discomfort.
After about twenty minutes of awkward wandering, in which they had to duck out of sight several times to avoid running into passing patrols, they finally hit the jackpot. This was lucky because Gojyo had almost been ready to concede defeat and, if necessary, crawl back to the tent. A couple of soldiers were asleep in the mess tent, blankets loosely draped over their shoulders and still clutching bottles of beer in their hands as they drooled on the aluminum table surface.
Gojyo insisted on liberating one of the blankets and tying it around his shoulders before they continued on to the crates and boxes of food in the back, behind the makeshift counter. "What's with all the fucking cans?" Gojyo asked irritably as he leaned against the counter and watched Sanzo rifle efficiently through the available supplies. "Haven't they ever heard of fresh food?"
Sanzo paused in his inventory and glared up at the ridiculous figure next to him. The camouflage blanket made the water sprite look more like a demented superhero more than anything else, especially with the mismatched lengths of his trouser legs and the extra bulk of the splint and bandages. "They're military rations. What did you expect?" Sanzo returned to his search, tugging yet another cabinet open.
"Oooh, I found some booze," Gojyo announced proudly, pulling a bottle of cooking wine out from behind a sack of rice.
"Good for you," Sanzo replied, distracted. He had finally come across something that looked promising. "Ah-ha! Meat buns," he announced as he yanked a tray out from the bottom metal rack of the oven.
"Ooh! Score! The monkey'll sit up and beg for those." A reminiscent smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but then it slipped away as he realized that the monkey was, in fact, missing. Che! His loss. He shouldn't have bailed earlier. Gojyo shook his head and looked for a place to sit, and opted to perch on the counter, as he didn't favor hobbling all the way back to the tables and hauling a chair all the way back. It was a bit unsteady, and his leg protested, but it was better than standing. He took a long swig of the wine, winced at the salty taste, and then offered the bottle to the priest, who was sitting on a crate and scarfing down a meat bun. "Exchange?" Gojyo offered brightly.
An hour later, Gojyo felt much warmer, and all the meat buns were gone. They'd managed to dig up some apples as well, which had really helped fill up the corners. Yawning again, he was just about to suggest they return to the camp bed when they heard a commotion outside the mess tent.
"Damn! They've realized we're out after curfew." Gojyo wavered a bit as he slid gracelessly off of the counter. The wine bottle was now quite empty, as were a couple of beer bottles they'd found stashed away. "Cheeeee!" Man, having a broken leg really sucked. "You could've caught me!" he accused, squinting around for the priest.
"I did, you moron!" came a muffled voice from nearby. Gojyo had a sinking feeling that the hard, angular corner digging into his shoulder was actually a hip and not, in fact, a can, as he had first suspected. "Get. Up. Now." The hissing was kind of distracting, but it also sounded dangerous. Gojyo tried to move. Really he did. He just wasn't feeling very coordinated right now. After a bit of partially successful fumbling on Gojyo's part, Sanzo shoved the water sprite out of his lap and stood up.
Booted feet were getting closer. The muffled voices got louder. "Well, then, find a medic!" one voice called out in frustration.
"I think this one's already dead!" another voice called.
"Sir, the tent's empty!" yet another voice reported.
"Find them! NOW!" That voice sounded really angry. Gojyo had a feeling that was not good news.
"Uh-oh," he hiccuped as he heard the mess tent flap fly open.