Chasing Cars Chapter 14, an instant star fanfic

Knocking three times, Lucas tapped his middle knuckle on Peyton's open door. He continued into her room with a smile on his face. He had been watching her webcam since the morning, and he had been standing in the doorframe for a few minutes now. Sometimes it was just nice to watch her in silence. "What are you drawing?" he finally spoke as he approached her.

Peyton turned around to find her friend and smiled kindly. She shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Nothing… Everything…" She held her pen back for a moment, reaching to turn the volume of the music down on her computer.

Lucas nodded and questioned, "The usual?"

Glancing down at her sketch, Peyton replied, "I guess you could say that." She knew her art meant something to Lucas, which made it nice to draw for him sometimes. She always wanted to draw her feelings out, and when she could, it was amazing. But when all that came out were random scribbles, it was nothing. Trying to ignore her need to sketch something important, Peyton set her papers and pens down on her desk and inquired, "What's up?"

Making his way to the foot of her bed, Lucas sat behind Peyton. "Nothing really," he remarked with ease. "I just thought we could hang out." When he saw her turn around in her swivel chair, she didn't look like she was just going to take that as an answer. Luke shifted his weight slightly and stared strangely at Peyton. Sitting on her bed, he asked, "We are friends again, right?"

"Yeah," Peyton quickly answered. Honestly, she wanted them to be more than friends, and that might just be why things were so awkward at the moment, but she didn't need to say the words. If he knew the situation, then he knew, and he obviously didn't want to bring it up either. And if Lucas didn't know, then maybe it was best that way. "Of course," Peyton cooed softly.

Nodding slowly, Lucas pressed his lips together. He could feel that the connection between him and Peyton was hazy, even if they did make amends at the café a few days earlier. He didn't know exactly what she was keeping from him, but he could feel that distance. "I lost you last year," he blurted out, staring into her eyes. "And it took you calling me a bad friend to realize it." Luke took a deep breath and did his best to smile. He couldn't help but hate himself each moment he thought about that conversation with Peyton and what hell she was going through that he never took the time to understand. "I just don't want us to get that far again."

A smile rose on Peyton's face. Even though that was her lowest moment, not just from yelling at Lucas, but everything that was happening to her at that time, the way he cared so much was endearing. "We're friends, Luke," Peyton assured, hoping he wouldn't feel so low anymore.

Lucas's grin grew, and was more genuine than forceful. He was glad that she was so forgiving, even if he couldn't exactly do the same to himself at that point. They had talked about staying good friends to each other, and spent nearly the entire summer inseparable, but just in these past few weeks, they let something get between them again. Trying not to be in such a serious conversation anymore, Lucas nodded towards Peyton's computer and asked, "What are you listening to these days?"

Even though she knew precisely what she was listening to, it was an automatic reation for Peyton to turn and look at the computer screen. Turning back to Lucas, she replied, "That's actually a rough cut of Jude Harrison's first album." Still smiling, Peyton bobbed her head slightly to the music. "She's got an amazing voice, and Tommy is an amazing producer," she explained.

Nodding, Lucas scratched his forehead. "I've heard of Jude Harrison… She won some contest, right?" he questioned.

Turing around again, Peyton reached for the CD case. It wasn't a finished product yet, but there was a promotion picture of Jude on the cover, as well as some music credits. Handing it over to Lucas, Peyton answered, "Yeah. The 'Instant Star' contest up in Canada."

Taking the case, Lucas started to look it over. The girl on the cover was beautiful, and now matching the face to the voice, it was no wonder why she won the contest. One thing that still bothered Luke was the other person Peyton brought up. They talked about tons of artists and music in general, but it wasn't like Peyton to randomly bring up the producer. He asked, "Who's Tommy?"

Smiling to herself slightly, Peyton thought about all her conversations with Tommy. None of them were too important, or had a lot of meaning, but it was nice to be able to talk to someone openly without all that awkward tension, or all that history. She answered, "Tom Quincy. He's—"

"Lil' Tommy Q?" Lucas interjected with a chuckle.

Peyton glared at Lucas for a second. She was just enjoying the few good memories she had with Tommy, including the conversation they had over the phone. She knew he didn't like to be known that way, and felt like it was offensive to him, even if he didn't know who was saying it. "Okay, first of all, he's just Tom Quincy now. I think the 'Lil' kinda ticks him off. Second, I didn't know you were all that into the boybands." Peyton shook her head at that last statement. And not really knowing what else to say, it took her a minute to think of the last on her list. "And third, why do you seem so shocked?"

"Wow," Lucas stated with wide eyes and a slow nod. He grinned devilishly and remarked suggestively, "A whole list over this guy, huh?"

Giving yet another glare, Peyton exclaimed, "Shut up!" Smiling slightly, she shook her head once more and impatiently pried, "Seriously."

Flipping the case over to the other side, Lucas noted that Tommy's name was all over the credits. "I know of him, okay?" Luke admitted. "It's like, not knowing who Justin Timberlake is. And I'm not really shocked over him." Lucas took a deep breath and turned the CD case over once more, staring at the picture of Jude again. Glancing up, he stared into Peyton's eyes and finished, "You just surprise me sometimes."

Peyton eyed him strangely, not knowing if he meant that in a good way or bad. "How's that?" she inquired, hoping it'd be in a good light.

With a shrug, Lucas handed the CD case back to Peyton, his hand brushing up against hers gently. "I know that you listen to the most random range of music," he commented, nodding towards Peyton's music collection along her walls. "I just wouldn't take you for a Boyz Attack fan," he said with a touch of a mocking tone.

Timidly, Peyton replied, "Brooke used to listen to them…" Peyton let out a sigh. She hated that she had brought Brooke up, especially since she knew Lucas had been hurting since their breakup. It was all such a messy situation that she should've never said anything to anyone about anything. "Sorry," she apologized softly.

"Don't be," Lucas replied with ease, shaking his head. He pressed his lips together for a moment in thought, knowing the only reason Peyton was apologizing was because she felt guilty for something she didn't do. "I mean, it sucks, but so do one-sided relationships," he explained.

Silence filled the gap between the two of them. No more words were spoken after Lucas' words except for the music playing softly in the background.

You never lied to me not once
It's not your fault that I cant trust
Its in my past, its in my path and I can't go there

Not being able to take much more of the tension, Peyton finally questioned, "Whose side was it..?" Being a friend to both of them, she would always hear Lucas talking about his love for Brooke, or Brooke talking about her feelings for Lucas. She always heard about their problems or their fun, but neither of them seemed to just be truly happy. It was sad to admit to her friends, but neither of them seemed to get along as well as two people in a relationship should.

Making a mess out of this game
To see it all go up in flames
So tired of being ruthless and reckless

Lucas shrugged and sighed. He hated having to confess these things, but he knew Peyton would understand. He could tell her anything and she would understand, or at least try her best to do so. Sometimes she'd disagree and try and help Lucas to see the other side of the picture, but she was always encouraging to do the right thing. "She kept on saying I never let her in," he finally admitted. "I did the best I could, Peyton, I just don't work like her," Lucas stated with a frustrated look on his face.

Time to be your only one
To almost be you're way too young
Time to crash into the sun
Time to be your 21

"I know." Peyton gazed into Lucas' eyes bashfully as she spoke her words quietly. She smiled faintly, remembering why they connected so well. They'd tell each other anything and everything, even though they had a hard time opening up to the rest of the world. Sometimes, they didn't even need to say the words and they would just know each other, as simple as that. Just a look was enough to know that the other would be there in times of need. Peyton continued to look into his eyes as she stated, "I'm that way too, remember?"

Time to dream that love will last
Time to drive my car too fast
Time to walk before I run
Time to be
Ohh time to be your 21

Letting out a soft chuckle, Lucas smiled as well. He loved how just a few words were said, and him and Peyton were always on the same page. Thinking for a moment, Luke commented, "It's kind of ironic."

I don't believe in love and I
I pull it to the wall
I tasted sweetness there to laugh so hard as it falls

Peyton eyed him strangely, not sure what exactly he was referring to. "What is?" she questioned.

And I could push you there if you don't stop me
Push you there if you don't stop me
Please stop me

His eyes broke away from Peyton's, somewhere else completely. They shared an obvious moment, but his mind was elsewhere at this point. He was finally able to speak again, but in a different manner altogether. "She accused me of being the one closed off, but for all the times I've told her I love her, I've only heard it once out of her mouth," he confessed with a slightly bitter tone.

Time to be your only one
To almost be you're way too young
Time to crash into the sun
Time to be your 21
Time to dream that love will last
Time to drive my car too fast
Time to walk before I run
Time to be
Ohh time to be your 21

Swallowing hard, Peyton stared down into her lap. She had let minutes pass between them, hesitant to speak. She finally asked, "Do you still love her?" Peyton wanted to know the answer, hopefully giving her the chance to eventually tell Lucas her feelings. But at the same time, Luke's answer scared Peyton. Maybe it would give Peyton the chance, but she'd still be too afraid to do anything about it. She wouldn't have anymore excuses to be hiding, and there were so many risks. She asked a question that's answer could have a ripple effect on Tree Hill.

It's gut wrenching sometimes
It's life threatening sometimes

"I think I always will," Lucas replied with ease. He thought about it a little more, and his expression changed. He wasn't so much bitter, or hurt, and any of the feelings Peyton thought he'd be reeling through. If anything, Lucas just seemed to be at peace, having a moment of clarity. "But I'm not in love with her anymore," he added. Luke took a deep breath and thought about the words he just muttered. He hadn't been able to feel so free in a long time. And he was also able to relax and understand his feelings once more. With a genuine smile on his face, Lucas met Peyton's eyes once more. "What's this song?" he questioned, going back to his original plan of just hanging out with his friend.

Seems like nothing can wash it all away

Peyton smiled as well, feeling his answer was for the better rather than the worse. She was still scared, and wasn't ready to bring herself to say the words, but it was enough for now. "'Time To Be Your 21'," she replied.