July 2, 2005
Dear Diary,
It took make awhile today for me to enjoy myself… Ok, so I didn't enjoy myself. Why was I such a downer today? Ironically, the same reason I find myself incredibly happy at times… That's right, kiddies! Tom Quincy.
He called last night and I just couldn't stop gushing about Florence… Well, that's not what got us fighting. We started fighting because I mentioned Luca a few too many times in my Florence adventures.
I tried to apologize and explain that I was only brining him up because he's the one showing me around, but that just made it even worse. I guess when I told Tommy I was going to Florence, I forgot to mention Lucas was going to be my traveling partner. And not just that I'm going around with some guy, but that I'm going around with some guy I hardly know.
And since it's completely my fault for not mentioning it earlier or considering that Tommy might react this way, I feel horrible. I mean, Tommy has no reason to not trust me. I love him and Lucas is only a friend. But I would've acted the exact same way if Tommy went anywhere with another girl. Hell, I might even act like that when he's around Jude sometimes.
I don't know. I guess when it comes down to it, he just sounded jealous and worried. And I really hate making him feel any way that doesn't somehow mean happy. I just felt… I don't' know. I guess I could just hear the disappointment in his voice and it kills me. I don't even think I can call him again, knowing that I'm not really worthy of him. He might not even want to come and see me anymore…
Sadie