Disclaimer: POTC belongs to Disney, OCs belong to me.
A Sparrow's Shadow on the Sea
Aftermath
The Pearl remained alongside the Reaper for the next three days. The dead were disposed of, the decks washed clean of blood. Only the three members lost from the Pearl's crew received last rites. The dead from the Reaper were simply thrown overboard.
The cabin had been cleaned of all traces of Coop and Hawkins. By the time Jack and I returned from the cargo hold, it looked as if the battle had never even happened. There were even clean linens on the bed.
Jack had given orders to strip the Reaper of all valuables, then to set it ablaze as we sailed. After the Pearl had been purged of the dead, and the wounded had been tended, the crew was occupied with transferring cargo, plunder, and finally any parts of the ship we may have use for. Some members of the crew were reluctant about salvaging parts of the Reaper to use for repairs, but practicality won out over superstition. I had to admit, I understood how they felt. No one really wanted to be reminded of how we had to struggle for our lives that day.
Still feeling traumatized at first, I refused to stay in the cabin unless Jack was with me. Even then, I found it difficult not to re-live in my mind what had happened. The frightening memories insidiously crept into my mind again and again when we were in the cabin. And sleep was very much not my friend. Instead of providing much needed rest, it instead provided me with lavish nightmares filled with blood, death, and terror.
The worst part, however, was feeling like a useless, helpless encumbrance. I wasn't able to help transfer cargo with the rest of the crew. Hell, I hadn't even been able to defend myself. Just getting up from sitting made me feel as if I was a hundred years old. I had never anticipated how handicapped I would feel during these last months of pregnancy.
And then there was Jack. Aside from his initial comforting immediately after defeating the crew of the Reaper, he hadn't made any attempt to kiss me, hold me, or touch me in any way. In fact, we barely spoke to each other. At first, I regarded it as "giving me space," a bit of time to heal and recover. As time wore on, I began to wonder if there wasn't more to it. I wondered if he somehow viewed me as "tainted" by the hands of that filthy pirate. If every time he looked at me, with my ugly bruises, he was reminded of the things Coop had done to me, and threatened to do to me. Occasionally, I'd catch Jack looking at me. He would always have a sad and wistful expression. And when he'd notice me looking at him, he would quickly turn away, and go about his captain's duties. And I would escape to the cargo holds, to cry in the quiet darkness.
I thought things would get better after we cut the ropes that tied us to the Reaper, set her on fire, and sailed away. When the fire finally reached the powder magazines we'd left behind, and the ship exploded into a thousand tiny pieces, the Pearl's crew cheered. I looked at Jack, up at the helm. He stood watching, motionless and expressionless. He didn't even glance my way. Just started giving orders about the sails.
And that was when it got worse. Much worse.
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Jack had found himself completely unprepared to deal with the lasting effects of trauma Eve was experiencing.
I don't understand why she won't turn to me for comfort, he thought. Each time she was frightened. Each time she woke from a nightmare. She would slip farther away. She was like a wraith, haunting the deck of the Pearl, day and night. She spoke to no one, but simply wandered, her arms wrapped around herself.
Even though she had told me she wasn't angry and didn't hate me, I know it was all my fault. She thinks I can't protect her. No woman wants a man, the father of her child, to be incapable of protecting them. And it's not just that. I had done things that put her in harm's way. Bloody hell, I told her to stay in the cabin, isolated and alone. God knows what could've happened to her, and I would've never known if she'd been unable to scream.
How can she feel she can rely on me? I've failed her completely. And I've failed our child, before it's even been born.
How could she want me to comfort her? If I flirt with her, will she feel victimized? If I touch her, hold her, kiss her…will it remind her of what nearly happened? Of how that man, that disgusting pirate, touched her? Of how she was nearly…
Bloody hell, mate! Go after her when she runs off to the cargo holds to cry! Bloody say something to her! Say anything to her!
Tortuga! That's it! We'll set a course for Tortuga! Ruby will be able to fix everything! If anyone can, she can! Eve trusts her. She'll talk to her. Ruby will understand what she's been through and what she's feeling. And Ruby will make her see how much I truly love her.
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"Full sail, men! We're heading to Tortuga!" Jack shouted heartily, to the cheers and hollers of the crew.
So, that's it then. I guess Marguerite was right after all. I'm fat and cumbersome, not to mention swollen and bruised. Not the prettiest girl in the world, to be sure. He no longer wanted me, that much was clear from his behaviour…his avoidance of me. But, it seemed he still had his needs and urges to satisfy, he just didn't want me to do it.
I could feel my eyes welling with tears and I rushed to the cabin, locking the doors behind me. I would pack my things and the baby's things, and I would go. That's it. It would be far less painful to be alone, than it would be to stay here and be ignored. Yes, I would leave Jack, since he had pretty much already left me.
I feel more alone when I'm with you. The poignant words that an old friend had written to her husband when she left him summed up how I felt.
I looked at Jack's red velvet chair. That had been our last happy time, that night back on the Pearl. The next day, we left Nevis to head out to sea, and all hell rose up to engulf us. I walked over to the chair, and ran my fingers over the rich velvet. I sat in the chair, leaning back into the cushions. I hoped Jack might think of me, every now and then when he sat in it, after I was gone.
You foolish girl, my thoughts tormented. There are probably a dozen women in every port, just waiting to take your place. He won't have any time to think of you! And, being that we're heading to Tortuga, Marguerite will no doubt be the first.
I got up from the chair to walk to the windows. Even though it was warm, I constantly felt cold. I wrapped my arms around myself as I looked out at the sea. My home, the Pearl, had been transformed into a prison. I couldn't wait to get to Tortuga. It should be easy enough to slip away at night. I often got up to wander the deck after my nightmares. Jack wouldn't think anything of it. And then I'd be gone. And maybe then, it wouldn't hurt so very much.
Someone knocked on the doors. I wiped my tears on my sleeve and walked to open the doors.
"May I come in an' speak with ye, lass?" Gibbs asked.
I silently let him in, returning to stare blindly out the window at the sea.
"Ye've got to stop this, lass. Ye're not eatin' like ye should, an' ye're not sleepin' either. Ye can't go on like this," he told me.
I glanced at him and noticed his eyes drifting to the baby's things and my things that I'd gathered together. He looked back at me, but said nothing about them.
Finally, he went toward the doors to leave. "Don't do this, Eve," he said somberly.
Gazing at the sea, I asked, "How long 'til we reach Tortuga?"
"Tomorrow, lass," he answered. He stood at the door for what seemed like a very long time. Finally, he told me, "Jack loves ye, Eve."
"Jack blames me," I corrected, in barely a whisper.
Gibbs sighed deeply, and left.
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The sight of Tortuga was bittersweet. I wished so much things hadn't gone so terribly wrong. I really didn't want to leave the Pearl. I didn't want my life at sea to be forever gone and just a memory, in spite of the risk of danger it provided. But I also didn't want to suffer another minute of seeing Jack and knowing he was no longer mine. It just hurt too much.
I was silently grateful to Gibbs for apparently not telling Jack of my plans. Then again, he may have told Jack, and Jack simply didn't care. He may just be waiting until I slip away into the night, and he can be free again. It would save him the discomfort of an unpleasant discussion.
I shook my head sadly, as I watched Tortuga growing larger on the horizon. What a headstrong fool I'd been! To fall in love with him and think it would last. Yes, I was a bloody, stupid fool! I foolishly thought I was clever enough, stubborn enough, engaging enough, desirable enough…to be able to hold his attention. It turned out, I wasn't enough at all. No, I discovered I was woefully lacking in every way.
I thought of a conversation I'd had with Gibbs, the night before. I had trusted him to ask for my share of our plunder.
"I wish I could, but I can't, lass," he'd told me, "Jack's the only one with the keys to the coffers. I'd have to ask him 'bout it."
"You'll do no such thing!" I'd said, "Guess I'll just make do, then."
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Fortunately, we had moored at the dock, so I would easily be able to simply walk off the ship, and to…who knows what. I'd stayed hidden in the depths of the Pearl's hull, until the time was right to go.
As the voices of the crew began to fade, I realized they had begun to head off into town. I crept out into the hallway and waited, and watched. Finally, I saw Gibbs and Jack leaving, heading off the Pearl and into Tortuga.
I followed some distance behind them, haunted by my memories of accompanying Jack through the town, during happier times. I passed the supply store, where Jack had gotten me the perfume oil and brush and mirror set. I passed the shop where we'd purchased the beautiful teal dress. I had left all those things behind.
Jack and Gibbs were talking to each other as they walked along, but I was unable to make out anything they were saying.
And finally, they reached their chosen destination. The Faithful Bride. They paused at the door. Gibbs was saying something to Jack, and Jack was listening intently.
As I watched, I saw Gibbs pat Jack on the shoulder. Jack grinned his stunningly handsome grin, as if he hadn't a care in the world. They opened the door and went into the tavern.
I was alone. I felt unable to move. Jack looked happy. He was, no doubt, going to see Marguerite, and he was happy.
I felt a stabbing pain rip through my heart. I felt as if my very soul had just shriveled up and died.
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A/N: Oh no! Would Jack really do that to Eve? Is he really just a selfish pirate after all? And what will Eve do? Where will she go? Can it be this is yet another, evil cliffhanger? My thanks to everyone for reading, and for all your kind reviews! They always bring a huge smile to my face! You guys are the BEST!