Disclaimer: POTC is Disney's, but OCs are mine!

A Sparrow's Shadow on the Sea

Fatherhood Jitters

Jack and I made our way through the gritty streets of Tortuga, back to the Pearl. We had just ascended the plank to the deck, when Jack handed me the book of names.

"I'm sorry, darlin'," he said as he pressed his hands together in front of him and looked apologetic, "I'll join you in the cabin shortly. Need to have a word with Mr. Gibbs."

"I'd like to have a word with you first," I told him, "before you do that."

"Can't it wait, luv?" he asked impatiently, "This is important."

"So is what I need to tell you," I insisted.

He sighed wearily. "To the cabin then?" he said, gallantly gesturing in a sweeping motion with his arm.

"I asked Gibbs not to tell you," I said to Jack, as he closed the doors behind us.

"I'd figured as much," he responded flatly, as he strolled over to the windows to gaze at the sea.

"He'd told me the best he could do was to delay telling you," I explained, "He said he'd have to tell you eventually."

"Uh-huh," Jack said distractedly, "That it?"

"No, that's not it, Jack," I continued, "Gibbs believed he was acting with our best interests in mind."

"Well, that's all nice and fine, luv, but he is my first mate," Jack replied, obviously perturbed, "And while I'm glad the two of you have struck up a friendship, the fact remains that as my first mate, he is expected to be loyal to me." He moved from the windows, to stand by the table.

"And your point is...?" I asked him.

"The friendship you share not withstanding," he continued, "Gibbs should've told me right away. Doing otherwise called his loyalty into question." Jack was in full "Captain" mode, clearly displeased. He began pacing.

"Gibbs is your friend, Jack," I retorted, "Are you really that paranoid?"

"It's been my experience, that it's best for a Captain to be certain where he stands, with regard to each member of his crew," he stated, "Lest he be mutinied upon. I do not make mistakes twice, luv."

"Maybe not, but you're more than willing to make them once," I told him tersely.

Jack spun around, and in two strides stood before me. "Do not question how I captain my ship, Eve," he warned me.

I held my ground, and stared at him defiantly. "I'm not questioning how you captain your ship, Jack," I clarified, "I'm questioning how you treat a friend who was trying to help."

"And exactly how is it helpful to allow my wife to leave me, and then to conceal that fact from me?" Jack demanded.

"Gibbs knew how miserable I was. He knew I hadn't eaten or slept in a week, Jack, which is more than I can say for you," I blurted. "He was concerned for my health, and the health of our child, which is why he delayed in telling you. He hoped I would find some relief to that misery in leaving, and begin to take better care of myself."

Jack held my gaze as he considered what I said. "Be that as it may, Eve," he told me finally, "It doesn't change the fact that he was loyal to your wishes and not mine."

"Stop being stubborn, Jack," I responded, beginning to feel exasperated.

"Easy for you to say," he snapped. "You've never been left to die, with nothing but a single shot to end your misery!"

"No, it's true, I haven't," I replied, "But, please, stop acting like an ass for a moment, and have a little perspective!" I was beginning to raise my voice in frustration.

"Did you just call me 'an ass'?" he asked, incredulous.

Ignoring his question, I continued, "Don't you think that going out there and reprimanding Gibbs is going to make you appear a bit paranoid? A captain secure in his authority, and in the motivations of his crew, wouldn't do that. Don't you think that you'd be sabotaging your own authority in front of the crew by airing what's really a personal issue?" I looked at Jack and could tell my reasoning was making some sense to him. "Gibbs is not going to lead a mutiny against you. You know that! If he was, he would've done it long ago, when you shut yourself up, drunk and mourning. He has no desire to become captain of the Black Pearl."

Jack silently pondered what I'd said for quite a while. I could see in his expression he felt torn. "I suppose that's true," he conceded begrudgingly.

"Choose your battles wisely, Jack," I told him, "It's not wrong to handle things with grace, every now and then."

He stared at me, very seriously, then rubbed his hand over his face as he sighed. "If you're wrong, you'll find yourself in the same predicament as I will, luv," he finally said.

"I know that," I replied, "which is why I'd prefer you didn't do something foolish."

He walked over to the table, and slumped in his chair. He gazed at the maps strewn across the table, as he absentmindedly fidgeted with his large, bejeweled rings.

I walked to him and sat in his lap, curling my arm around him.

His dark eyes focused on me as he spoke. "No one's ever spoken to me like that, Eve," he said quietly, "Least not since my mum…"

I smiled softly. "No secrets, Jack, and no holding back," I reminded him.

He thought for a moment. "You know, at least half the men in the Caribbean fear the very mention of my name," he said, widening his eyes dramatically, "And yet, you don't fear me at all, luv, do you?" He looked slightly bewildered.

I let out a small laugh. "Is there some reason why I should?" I asked him sweetly, as I trailed my fingers over his cheek.

He chuckled. "None at all," he told me, as he kissed me lustily.

"Talk to Gibbs in private, as a friend, if you feel you must," I relented.

Jack considered the idea as he looked at me. "Maybe tomorrow," he said, "Tonight, I think I just want to enjoy having you home again."

Home. I smiled. "I love you, my fearsome pirate," I told him, as I kissed him.

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The smoke of cannons recently fired hung in the air, mingling with the smell of fresh blood. The sounds of pistol shots and swords clashing surrounded him. In the chaos of the fight, Jack had lost track of the girl. Bloody buggering hell! Where could she be?

He saw her then, backed up into a corner near the stairs to the helm. Her dark eyes, so like his own, wide with fear. She held no weapon to defend herself against the filthy pirate who stood before her, sword in hand and leering.

Jack tried to dash toward the young girl, just as he saw the pirate raise his sword. It felt like his boots had been nailed to the deck. He'd never make it in time!

He looked up, just in time to see the sword plunge into the girl, her scream echoing through Jack's head.

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"NO!" Jack screamed, as he bolted upright in the bed. He was covered in perspiration and looked terrified.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" I asked him urgently, startled from my sleep.

Jack rubbed his hand over his face as he tried to catch his breath. "Bad…dream," he mumbled, dazed.

I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close to me. "What happened?" I asked.

"Deck battle…the pirates from the Reaper," he stammered, swallowing hard, "Our daughter…killed…I couldn't save her in time…"

I held him tightly. "They're all dead, Jack, they're not going to be killing anyone ever again," I assured him in a gentle voice.

"I couldn't get to her…I couldn't save her," he kept mumbling.

"Jack, listen to me. If we have a daughter, she will be smart enough to stay out of harm's way until she can defend herself," I continued reassuring him, "We'll teach her well. You know this."

"Aye, but what if...?" he began.

"No 'what ifs,' Jack," I told him, "It's just anxiety about the baby coming soon, mixed with that unpleasantness that happened with the Reaper."

He looked at me, reaching a hand up to touch my face. My bruises were dissipating, but still showed a lingering yellow discolouration on my skin.

"Darlin', bruises and wounds heal," I said gently, "Fear and doubt cripple. You know that. Don't let this nightmare get to you."

He looked at me, frowning uncertainly. "I'm not ready to be a father," he said quietly.

"No one's ever ready to be a parent," I told him, "You just do the best you can."

He got out of bed, pulling on his breeches. "Yeah, well, what if that's not good enough?" he asked, heading for the rum cabinet.

"It has to be," I said, "It's all anyone can do."

"I hope we have a boy," he commented, taking a sip of rum, "Worrying about a girl will just send me to an early grave."

"That's no guarantee the child will be safer!" I blurted, as I got up and dressed.

"Of course it is," he replied confidently.

"Foolishness can be just as lethal as vulnerability," I remarked.

"You're not being very reassuring, luv," he said sullenly.

"Would you be happier digging around in the dirt of your plantation on Nevis?" I questioned.

"It'd be safer," he answered, sitting at the table.

"But, would you be happy?" I persisted, as I sat on the bed to pull my boots on.

"No," he replied quietly, taking a swig of rum.

"Well, Jack you chose a dangerous path in life," I pointed out, "I guess you're just going to have to deal."

He looked at me with a puzzled expression. "When'd you become so hardened, Eve?" he asked me.

"I don't know, Jack," I said, "When I fell in love with a pirate? Or perhaps it was when I'd committed my first murder, and watched that bloated pig of a man burble his last breath as I pulled my sword from his gut?"

"Self-defense, luv, not murder," he corrected, matter-of-factly.

I thought of the attack of the Reaper. And I remembered defiantly cursing Coop, knowing it would only earn me another blow, or worse. Maybe that was when it happened? I decided against mentioning that. Jack's nightmare had upset him enough.

"Do you really think I've become that hardened?" I asked uncertainly.

"Survival, luv. Kill or be killed," he said, staring straight ahead and gesturing with the rum bottle, "Only a cold, heartless soul would find it unnecessary to harden themselves to that."

I watched Jack for several minutes, as he sat sipping his rum, lost in his thoughts. I decided to head out on deck for some air, leaving Jack to his rum, with his grim mood to keep him company.

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By the time Jack had finished drinking his rum, the tide had changed and so had his mood. He was happily, though unsteadily, sailing the Pearl out of the harbour, away from Tortuga. I watched him from the bow, as the Pearl rose and fell over the ocean swells.

"Eve, darlin'!" he shouted, waving for me to join him.

As I got to the helm, Jack motioned for me to grab the wheel.

"Take us out, luv," he said, as stood behind me. He encircled me with his arms, resting his hands on my belly, and his head against my shoulder.

I sailed the Pearl toward the open sea, softly humming the melody to Bob Marley's song "Three Little Birds."

"Don't worry…about a thing, every little thing's gonna be alright…"

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A/N: So, Eve saved her friend Gibbs from getting an earful from Jack, and saved Jack from looking uncertain of his authority. Gotta love the politics involved in sailing on a pirate ship! My thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! You guys are wonderful! A bit of fun with the baby names is coming up!