Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.
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Journal of Kristoph Mistan
Volume One
'Why does this always happen? I shouldn't even be allowed in public.'
And by the way, I loathe my sense of hearing. I think it has a defect. I can never hear things when I need to. Honestly, Ishbala must hate me dearly, right?
"You know you've gotten a lot slower since the last time." It was the same voice that I had heard earlier yelling at his major about me. The one that made me blow my cover in the first place. His voice wasn't so much of a voice of a voice anymore. It was more like a low, angry growl sort of thing. It'd be frightening if I was one to be frightened. I turned around. It was some blond haired kid, really. A little kid. His hair in a low braid. He was completely dressed in black, with the exception of the red coat that he had on. Beside him, there was a large metal suit of armor. A large, metal walking suit of armor.
'I would run in with these two of all people! The Elric brothers?! This is just my luck!'
Yeah, I knew who they were. I was with the one that they called 'Scar' all of the time. I had run into them one time or another. It was inevitable.
"Look, I'm not who you think I am. I'm not going to hurt anyone. I just need to go."
"Yeah, right." The sarcasm oozed in his voice as he placed his hand over his left arm, it turned to a sword. He came at me with that thing.
Knives and I- not the smartest situation in the world. We just didn't get along very well, really. It was a testy relationship. We just liked to hurt each other far too much for our own well being.
I dunked, though it was probably a little more that because the next thing that I realized, he was on the ground. And he was on the ground hard. I giggled on the inside, I really did. I didn't know that I could do something like that. I'd never done anything like that before. I was pretty amazed in my self. So amazed in myself that I didn't notice the little flash of black and green that flashed by the corner of my eye. But let me not ruin the story and put a damper on my own mood, shall we? Cause it was a very good feeling.
"Brother!" the seven foot tall tin one yelled. I made mind to keep away from him because he could have sat on me, and I would have died.
"Stay back Al," He stood back up, wiping the blood from his lip with the arm of his red jacket. "Okay... So, maybe I was wrong. You're still pretty fast."
"I don't want to hurt you, but don't get me wrong, I will." '...If completely necessary and you don't kill me first, of course. If all of that works in my favor, then maybe. Maybe, I'll try to kill you.' The last part was thought, so he couldn't hear it. I hoped. I hoped he wasn't one of those alchemists that could read minds. I'd never heard of one, but nonetheless; I was border line insane and that was border line probable. But the entirety of this sentence was, of course, a lie. I probably couldn't hurt him if my life depended on it, and, at this point in time, it did.
He came at me once more. Somehow, I got his arm pinned behind his back. Don't ask me how this happened, but it did. Utterly amazing. It almost made me smile on the outside.
"What the-?!" he shouted out.
I was just as surprised as he was, but that didn't show on my face luckily enough. Not that he ever saw my face, because I had his arm pinned behind his back.
(In the notebook that this auto-biography (if you could call it that) was originally written in there are large, angry words written in the margin of this page which state 'THIS ISN'T FUNNY!'. In smaller letters next to it, penciled in, it states, 'Actually, it pretty much is. Hahaha haha'.)
"Listen. I'm going to leave. You are going to pretend as if you never saw me. No one here ever saw me." I whispered emotionlessly in his ear.
"You can't be Scar. He wouldn't just run away." He was angry. He was more than angry. This was pretty close to the most pissed off that he had ever been at me (but not quite).
"If you only knew." I jumped up on one of those crates, then another and after about two more I was at the top of this building. I ran. Fast as hell. Hell on wheels I would think that they called it.
'I have to get out of the city. Of course. So brilliant.' I mentally hit myself in the head for that one. 'State the obvious why don't you?'
Well, I couldn't go back to Mezran. He would be, in a word, pissed. And because I only used one word to describe it, I wouldn't waste more of time I do not have to waste.
'Central? No, that's not even a semi-smart choice. East? Just left from there, smart one (Yes, sarcasm is one of my strong points). South? The headquarters there… I think they have it out for me. Besides that gunslinger woman.' I shuddered softly, 'Don't want to press my luck with her again. West? Is there even a West city? I think so, but I don't care about them. Why would I head for a military town?! So, one of the smaller desert towns will be good. Hopefully. They could believe that I just have a reeeeeally good tan. God, I'm so stupid. A waste of a once useful life force.'
I don't know for how long I walked. Or how far. All I knew was that my legs hurt. Let me describe it for those of you who do not know the pain in which I am speaking of. It's like someone stabbing me- better yet- me stabbing myself in the kneecap with a knife and twisting. While the blade is on fire. Needless to say, I tripped. Usually, I would get up and start running again, this time I didn't. I didn't have that strong will that was so recognized in me and my mother before me. I didn't have the strength to want to carry on any longer, as ridiculous as I know that it sounds. I was hoping that if there was an Ishbala, she or he (depending on who you spoke to. The ones who thought that 'she' was a 'he' had a few issues) would strike me where I lay. But, alas, I had no such luck.
I never had that much luck. It's pretty obvious if I do say so myself. I do.
So, I lay there, in the middle of the desert, hoping for a death that never came. My knees on fire and my vision blurred. This may have seemed bad, but it was nothing compared to what happened next.
I don't know how long I was out or where I was when I woke up. All I knew was that something around me had went very wrong for the people that surrounded me were not people at all. Something much more deadly than that. I was always more open to the impossible right after waking up from a long sleep.
"It seems that the little Ishballian has woken up, Lust." I heard a boy -maybe girl- like voice say.
"It seems that he has," a tall woman with perfectly waved hair said.
"What's your name?" the owner of the first voice said. He was tall, dark green hair, but it appeared brown at the moment and almost looking like a palm tree. His own red eyes made mine look as if they were a dull brown. It was more than a phenomenon.
"Kristoph." It seemed as if my voice wasn't my own. I knew that I wouldn't have been able to speak to these sins- I hadn't know this at the time but I soon came to the realization- with so much courage, that I had missed in my everyday life.
"Hm. Kristoph? That name will do I guess," He brushed some of the pale gray hair from my eyes. "You have nice eyes. Such a pretty red color, but not quite like mine yet."
"Envy. Not yet. I need to talk to h-him."
'How right you are, that you need to talk to me, lady. What the fuck is going on?!' I had not the courage to say this out loud, but in my head I was safe, or so I thought.
This woman leaned down onto the bed unto which I had been laid and staring me straight into the eyes said, "And I will be talking to you when the time comes. Just learn to be patient, little one."
And I stared back at her. She was familiar. She was so familiar. It was as if I had known her before. As if I had seen her before. Her eyes seemed to connect with mine in a way that I had not connected to anyone's since Rison. She didn't seem as if she was just looking at me. It was as if she was looking into me. As if she was reading me like a book. My safe guard was being put down already. Because the second that I looked into her eyes I was compelled to do what ever she wanted. It was almost as if she were the great mariner and I some lowly party guest that got caught in a passing glance. For the first time in such a long time, I was frightened. I was genuinely frightened and I had no idea why.
"Don't worry we're not going to hurt you. I just think that you may be rather helpful to us when it comes to getting closer to Fullmetal." She rested her freezing fingers on my jaw. She was so cold. There was no possible way that she was even human. She was much too cold for there to be running blood in those veins. Our eyes were still locked. While I made sure that mine held no sort of emotion at all, hers did. She held this sort of passion that for some reason, I couldn't let myself even begin to attempt to understand. It was as if she was calling out to me. But she wasn't. She never did. I was sure that if there was ever a time that she had, I would have answered her call, happily. She never did.
"What use would I be there? I believe that you are confusing me with someone I am not." I said, where this courage to speak was coming from I knew not, but it was certainly there then. I wish that it would have crippled it's self and died. Alas, it didn't.
"No. I believe I have exactly the person I wished to talk to." Her voice cracked a little, which was completely the most odd emotion that I had ever seen out of this woman, "Unless you are not Kristoph Mistan, 18-year-old resident of the now destroyed city of Ishbal. And if you aren't and I did make a mistake," her voice faltered quite a bit yet again and then regained it's strength, "which I doubt, we can't let you go anyways because you now know who we are. So, by force of keeping our identities secret, I would have to give you to my friend Gluttony here."
I looked over her shoulder and to the table where Envy was sitting. There was a rather large man, with his tongue drooping from his mouth. I shuddered not only from his appearance but also from the little amount of clothing that he was wearing for the excess amount of skin that he indeed had. Maybe I was being a bit harsh to this man because I knew him not, but at this time I wasn't thinking of this, I was too busy hoping that it didn't eat me. Was I stupid? Was I that out of my mind? How had I not noticed him before? Wow. That was a new level of stupidity that I had achieved right there. A cut above all of the rest.
I didn't notice for a while, but the entire time that I was conscious, the boy's eyes were on me. His brightly intense eyes remained on me the entire time that I remained in his presence. I wasn't one to allow myself to become scared. My emotions were one of the few things that my father or Merzan or my memories- my emotions were the only thing that they couldn't control. They were all my own. If I didn't let them show, they wouldn't. If I didn't want them to be completely obvious, they wouldn't. I used to allow my emotions show freely, once a long time ago. In a better time, you could call it. It was my control complex. No, it wasn't healthy. Nor did I care. I did plenty of things that were unhealthy. It didn't keep me from doing it. And emotions often kept me from doing what I was assigned to do. More times than not, my missions were all that I had. More times than not, if I didn't perform and finish that mission I was to be killed.
"Yes, of course I am Kristoph Mistan. Don't eat me." I said nervously, moving slightly closer to the door.
"You're not going to get away from us if we don't want you to." Envy said standing.
"Yeah, uh huh, I understand that by now. Mmhmm."
"You're cute when you're scared."
Yes, Envy just called me cute. If I wasn't creeped out previous to then, then I most definitely was at that point. I didn't say anything after that.
"Go away, Envy. You've frightened the child into not speaking."
"It's not my fault if he's adorable." he said walking over to the door of the cabin.
"Now... Little Ishballian, you will help me. I think that it would be easy for you to get close to Elric, considering the bounty on your uncle's head and your likeness to him."
"How do you-"
"Oh we know a lot about you. More than you'd think." Envy spoke up. I was quiet again. These people knowing a lot about me was not the high point in my life.
"Now... If you went to East headquarters and turned yourself in, I think that it'd be more likely for Elric to get used to you there."
"You want me to waste my life away in prison for you? I don't even know you." Here was that courage again. I hated it. It needed to cripple it's self and die.
"Oo, spunky."
"Don't worry. You won't rot there. We'll be there to get you out as soon as we get word that you have befriended the Elrics. And with that you will get a new identity. No one will ever know that a Kristoph Mistan existed. And you'll be off scotch free to do what you wish with the rest of your life." she said looking at her nails.
"How do I know that you're not lying?" I said sitting up and bringing myself closer to the wall.
"Cautious, aren't you? I suppose that is reasonable considering that no one would trust a sin." Envy looked over at us curiously I would suppose that it was. My eyes landed on the floor. Lust took my chin and forced me to look at her.
"Listen to me and listen to me well. You know not the power that I possess and the hell that I can make your life if you don't. We are homunculi."
I had figured this out before they said anything about it. I may act as if I am an idiot but I can see basic facts. Especially when I was supposed to hate these things.
"I think that he knew that, Lust. He's not a dumb boy." Envy said flicking his wrist in an uninterested fashion.
"Quiet, Envy. I know that he's not ignorant. That's exactly the reason that I chose him to do this. Now shh. Quiet. You have to sleep and get ready for the days ahead." She laid her hand on my hair and soon left the room with Gluttony at her side.
"It's a shame what's going to happen to you." Envy said walking over to me.
"W-what's going to happen to me?" I asked.
"I can't tell you. But you will be a nice new addition."
"A new addition to what?!" I was getting frustrated.
"Getting a little testy there, aren't you? So many questions and so little time. It really is too bad. I like your little innocent routine. Come on. There's got to be a little bit of evil tucked in there somewhere." He moved my head much more gently toward him. "That's strange. There's hardly any sin in you at all. A small amount of wrath but that's expected from anyone. You're lucky that curiosity isn't a sin or you'd be damned. So innocent it could almost be considered sickening." He ran his cold fingers over my face. I nearly shuddered under his touch. "No envy? How can someone live without envy? That's ridiculous. And not any Lust either..."
His lips grazed softly over my own, and he turned and left the room. This was only the beginning; much worse was going to happen. And none of it was going to be any good.