Disclaimer: POTC is Disney's, OCs are mine.

A Sparrow's Shadow on the Sea

A Ship of Fools

"You look…different today, luv," Jack said as he regarded me with a puzzled expression, his head tilted to one side.

We has just gotten up and dressed, ready to go out on deck and see what adventures the day would offer.

"Different how?" I asked, as I finished braiding my hair. I wanted to make sure it wouldn't annoy me during my first on deck practice session with Ruby.

"I don't know, Eve," he answered, "Just different. Can't quite place it."

"I feel much better," I mentioned, "Maybe the baby is lightening, as Ruby said it would. It's easier to breathe."

Jack opened the doors and we walked out to the deck.

"Mornin', Gibbs! How go things with the Pearl?" Jack addressed his first mate.

"Mornin', Cap'n…lass," Gibbs replied, "All's well. Repairs be nearly completed an' Miss Ruby should be able to vacate the crew's quarters shortly." He paused, glancing down at the deck. "Uh…Cap'n, er, I feel I would be, uh, remiss, if I didn't, um, mention…"

"Good god, mate, spit it out, will you?" Jack said impatiently.

"Well, Cap'n, ye see, it's like this. Uh, ye be standin' in a…rather unfortunate place…" Gibbs was trying so hard not to laugh; he nearly had tears streaming down his reddened cheeks.

"What the bloody hell is it, Gibbs?" Jack asked him, waving his arms in frustration.

"Well, Cap'n, it seems ye be standin'," Gibbs began, pausing to compose himself, "Ye be standin' in a heapin' pile o'cow dung!" Gibbs pressed his lips together tightly, to keep from laughing. He was battling valiantly to maintain a straight face.

I glanced down to see that it was, in fact, true. And, not only that, in Jack's impatience to urge Gibbs to tell him, he had inadvertently shuffled his feet around, rather effectively dispersing the pudding-like manure over the deck, as his boots squished in it.

Jack leaned ever so slightly forward, to peer down his nose at the hideous mess he now stood in the center of. He looked back at Gibbs, blinking his wide, round eyes; and again peered down at the manure, which appeared to have been smeared over the deck by his boots in a free-spirited flourish.

Jack drew himself up, haughtily, to regard his first mate. "Mr. Gibbs, would you mind explaining to me, exactly why there are…bovine…leavings on the deck of my ship," he asked, struggling to maintain control in his voice.

"Well, ye see, Cap'n, it must've come from the cow, when she be walkin' on deck early this morn," Gibbs tried to explain.

Jack stared at him, then rubbed his hand over his face in consternation. "I know it came from a cow, Gibbs!" he yelled abruptly, "What the bloody hell was a cow doing walking on deck?!"

"Well, Cap'n, Miss Ruby…" Gibbs began to elabourate.

"Ruby," Jack repeated through clenched teeth. He began to tremble, oddly and uncontrollably, in fury.

"Aye, Cap'n, Ruby didn't feel it were right, keepin' the poor beastie confined below decks," Gibbs continued, "Said the cow needed fresh air an' sunshine. So, she took the cow for a bit of a stroll."

"Where…is…Ruby…right now?" Jack enunciated slowly, in a desperate effort to maintain control of his anger.

"I imagine she be down below, finishin' up tendin' her animals," Gibbs answered.

"Thank you," Jack replied tightly. He executed what would've been a very graceful turn, if he hadn't slipped in a bit of manure that clung to the heel of his boot. He flailed wildly to regain his balance, then continued purposefully on his way to confront Ruby.

Riotous laughter erupted from all over the ship, as the crew could no longer contain themselves over the spectacle their captain had made of himself.

I looked at Gibbs, and the two of us burst out laughing as well, until we both had tears streaming down our faces and were gasping for air.

The sound of Jack's and Ruby's voices, screaming at each other caught my attention. I quickly tried to hush Gibbs, and we moved closer toward the entrance to the hold, in order to eavesdrop. Snippets of their angry quarreling drifted up to the deck.

"I will see you on your hands and knees, scrubbing every inch of the deck until it's spotless, Ruby!" Jack shouted.

"An' why not? Mi spend mi whole life cleanin' up ya messes, Jack!" Ruby screamed back at him.

"My mess? How the hell do you figure this is my mess?!" he yelled.

"It be ya ship! An' ya invited mi ta come!" she reminded him, yet again.

"You! I invited you to come! I didn't invite your bloody barnyard menagerie to come!" he retorted.

"What mi do Jack? Leave dem ta starve ta death? Di cow give milk! It be good for Eve an' di babe!"

"And I suppose setting my ship on fire was good for them too?! They could've both been killed! Bugger it all, Ruby! We all could've been killed!"

"Ya shoulda make sure ya girl stay in ya cabin, where she be safe! It no mi fault ya can no control ya wo-man, Jack!" Ruby shouted at him.

There was a brief silence. A pistol shot echoed through the hull of the Pearl, followed by the frightened clucking of chickens and moo-ing of the cow. Then…silence again.

Gibbs and I stared at each other, unsure of what to do.

There was suddenly a very loud ruckus below. Jack came flying out of the cargo hold; running, screaming, and flailing in terror. Ruby was right behind him, brandishing a broom. She chased him around the deck, swatting at him viciously, screaming at him in her native African language.

"Oh, my god, Gibbs," I mumbled, as we ducked under the stairs leading to the quarterdeck, trying to stay out of the way.

"Aye, Miss Ruby be possessed of a mighty fiery temper," he commented.

I couldn't help noticing a certain sparkle in his eyes as he said it.

"You do like her, don't you?" I said to him, smiling.

Gibbs immediately appeared flustered. "Well, ye know, lass, she is the only available woman on the Pearl," he explained, "Better I befriend her, than any of the rest of these scallywags. I'm just seein' to her best interests, ye understand."

"I understand, but you may want to…what is that saying? Play it close to your vest?" I mentioned, "I think Jack may find your friendship somewhat…disturbing."

We watched as Jack careened past, followed by Ruby, both screaming.

"Aye, lass, I see yer point," Gibbs acknowledged.

Ruby chased Jack once more around the ship, but just as they past Gibbs and I, Jack's boot hit a spot on the deck still slick with smeared cow dung. His foot slipped, and he glided across the deck, waving his arms frantically and bellowing like a wounded calf. As his boots regained traction on a clean portion of the deck, Jack fell. He rolled onto his back just in time to see Ruby running after him. Unable to stop, she tumbled down on top of him, the handle of her broom hitting Jack square in the face with a dull thud.

"Well, I guess that's that," I said to Gibbs, as we emerged from under the safety of the stairs.

"That blow to the head'll distract Jack for a time," Gibbs told me, "But ye'd best go tend to him, before all hell breaks loose again, lass. I'll fetch a cold compress for that lump on his head."

Ruby was getting up, laughing uproariously. "Jah bless! Dat be di most fun mi had in a mighty long time!" she exclaimed.

Jack was still lying on the deck, looking up at the sky, dazed. An angry red welt had formed on his left brow.

"Come on, Jack, let's get you back to the cabin," I suggested, holding my hands out to help him up.

H waved my hands away, preferring to get up by himself. "I want rum," he whined, as he stood. His gaze drifted to Ruby. "And you owe me a new pair of boots!" he growled at her, as I began to lead him away. "And you'll scrub the deck 'til it's clean!" he shouted at her over his shoulder.

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Inside the cabin, I held a cold, wet cloth to Jack's left eye as he drank his rum. "Did you and Ruby carry on like this often while you were growing up?" I asked him.

"Yep," he answered, "She's always had the uncanny ability to wield household implements with the skill and accuracy of a master swordsman."

"Your poor mother," I commented, shaking my head slightly in sympathy.

"Oh, Eve, we both had enough sense never to do that in front of her," Jack told me.

"So, besides brooms, what other weapons does Ruby tend to favour?" I inquired.

"For more close range attacks, she tends to prefer a wooden mixing spoon," he replied, "Although, she's been known to substitute a hair brush, if that's all that's handy."

"And does she throw things as well?" I questioned.

"Aye, and her aim is dead on," he said, taking a long pull of rum.

"Sounds like she'd make an excellent pirate," I commented, "Jack, stop wiggling." I was having difficulty keeping the cold compress on his swollen brow.

"Aye, that she would," he confirmed, waving around the rum bottle as he gestured, "But fortunately for those of us who've chosen that most noble procession…profession, she's as yet given no such indication of…any inclination of…Let's just say, it's a bloody good thing she's not a pirate!"

I smiled at him in amusement. "You've become a very cheap date, Jack," I teased, as he was already getting drunk.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, luv!" he slurred happily, waving the bottle around, "I couldn't possibly be sheep bait…doesn't even make any sense."

"You want to know what I think, Jack?" I asked, as I sat on his lap and draped my arm around him.

He stared at me for a moment with his innocently drunk eyes, then began to smirk. I know what you think, luv," he replied smugly, "You think I'm the most irrefutable…irrepressible…irresponsible…no, that's not it…" He shook his head in frustration, jingling the trinkets adorning his hair.

"Irresistible?" I offered helpfully, as I smiled at him.

"That's it! Irresistible!" he exclaimed with childlike glee. "You think I'm irresistible!"

It was so true, I thought as I smiled at him. And then I kissed him. I felt his hands slide around me, embracing me, pulling me closer to him. His tongue brushed my lips, coaxing me to make the kiss more intimate. A kiss of desire and wanting, need and comfort, lust and tenderness.

"You are irresistible, Jack," I whispered breathlessly, as we broke from the kiss.

"Told you so, darlin'," he said, smirking arrogantly. He gazed into my eyes, his smirk slowly fading. As our eyes locked, he said very earnestly, "I love you, Eve."

We kissed again, then I whispered, "And I love you, Jack," my lips brushing softly against his.

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A/N: A bit of fun quarreling between Jack and Ruby, and a bit of fluff. Hope you enjoyed! My thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! You guys always brighten my day!