An Author's note: to Vegeta247- a work of art? Really? Maybe I should change my name to Hilty Van Gogh! (just kidding!) But I really do appreciate the complement!
Thanks to Agent for your nice comments as well, just don't hold your breath to long, you don't want to faint.
Oh, and I might not be able to update for a while. I might be spending Christmas with my grandmother (oh the horror!) and she does not have an internet connection. Even if she does I don't really want to write in her presence. She thinks she can "improve" my stories. Problem is she doesn't watch any of the things I like (Teen Titans for instance) so she doesn't understand what I'm talking about at all! And she can't really tell a story that well (I don't get my writing genes from her!) And also she still thinks I am five (and she isn't even senile yet!). It's irritating. But hey, that's what relatives can be like, right?
Now, on with the show!
Chapter Eight
Aftermath
Monitors, and other machines of that type, beeped and blinked in the Titan's med lab. Connected to these machines was the motionless form of Raven. The other Titans and Jinx were gathered around her looking worried. The Titan's East had returned home, and Kid Flash had done the Titans the favor of taking care of a robbery that was taking place at the moment. The Titans were glad to accept his help when the alarm blew. They could look after Raven while Kid Flash nabbed the crooks. Jinx, for some reason, also insisted on staying.
Raven had been here in the med lab once before, when Adonis had hurt her. However, this time she did not float above the bed in a healing trance like she had done before. All of the blood had been washed off and all of her wounds had been bandaged. The mouth thing had been removed from her side, leaving a gaping hole that had needed stitches. Her chakra stone was still a dull grey. All her powers where gone, but there was good news.
"She's not dead." Cyborg said, giving Beast Boy a worried look. Cyborg was just as worried about Beast Boy as he was worried about Raven. Beast Boy had been hovering over Raven ever since the fight. Never once had he left Raven's side. His little elf ears were drooping so much they practically pointed to the floor. Beast Boy looked really miserable, and Cyborg was a bit concerned for him. Cyborg had basically figured out what was going on. Beast Boy had somehow managed to fall in love with Raven, without anyone realizing it. Probably not even Beast Boy himself had realized it until lately when he thought Raven had died. Cyborg would have to have a little talk with him, maybe with both of them. He knew that both Raven and Beast Boy's last love lives had not been great successes. They had both had their hearts broken and Cyborg did not want to see either of them hurt, especially by one another.
But for right now…"What exactly is wrong with her?" Robin asked with a concerned look.
"Three broken ribs, on badly sprained ankle, several small cuts" Cyborg refused to say bite marks, even though that was what they really were "and a really big slash on one side. But here's the strange part. She's not in a healing trance, but she is still healing way to fast."
"What do you mean?" Robin asked, curious.
"See this here?" Cyborg pointed to a machine that showed an image of one of Raven's ribs "this is showing at least three weeks worth of healing, but it was broken just thirty minutes ago. Now, she is not healing as fast as she did last time, but it still is going too fast for a normal human."
Jinx, who had insisted on coming with them, rolled her eyes. "Of course she is healing fast, she's half- Nazlar, remember. They're all quick healers. She may not have her magic anymore, but that doesn't affect genes."
"Jinx, can you tell us more about these Nazlar." Robin asked. His detective instincts were tingling. He wanted to know all he could about Nazlar. He still planned on asking Raven about this business, and he wanted to be well informed beforehand. It looked to him like Raven was going to be alright, so he could focus on something else, other than rescuing her. Like whether or not Raven had lied to them about being Trigon's daughter. Robin hated being lied too. Even though it was quite possible that Raven had only lied to Jinx, Robin's instincts were telling him there was more to the story. He wanted to know, and he wanted to know now.
"I really don't know that much, but I know how we can find out!" Jinx said.
"How?" Robin asked.
"Well, we'll have to kind of…borrow a book from Raven's room."
"What? Are you nuts!?" Beast Boy said, finally showing some interest in something other than Raven. "Do you have any idea what's in there?"
"Of course I do!" Jinx said "Remember when we first met? When me and the others kicked your butts and took over this tower? I went through Raven's room while we were here. While I was there I saw a book about the races of Azarath. It could tell you all about the Nazlar people."
"Are you stupid? If she finds out that you went through her room Raven will kill you!" Beast Boy said. "No one goes in her room! Besides, aren't all of you sick of books by now?"
"Well if you want to know more about her people that is where you should go." Jinx said. "I can get it for you, but it's your choice, Robin."
Robin thought about it, he knew that snooping into Raven's personal things was wrong, but he was just too curious. Besides, if Raven had told them the entire truth, then he would have no reason to snoop in the first place. After this nice bit of rationalization, Robin nodded to Jinx.
"Let's go find that book."
All of them headed for the door, except Beast Boy. Cyborg looked at him and asked if he was coming.
Beast Boy shook his head. "No, I'll stay here with Raven.
"She's not going anywhere. She'll be fine, B.B."
"I don't care, I'm staying with her." Beast Boy replied. He pulled up a chair and sat beside her. He slipped a gloved hand underneath one of Raven's and gently held it.
Man, he has it bad. Cyborg thought. In fact, it might be even worse than with Terra. Making another mental note to talk to a certain grass stain (when he was not hovering over Raven that was), Cyborg followed the others to Raven's room.
Fortunately no one fell into any magical traps while Jinx searched for the book she was looking for. Raven might not have any magic of her own, but according to Jinx that did not mean that her magical defenses had faded. Jinx found the book in question, right between something written in some weird language and a dusty looking pile of scrolls.
"Ah! Here it is, Races and Peoples of Azarath, by Cocourious. It is the most recent book of its type. Too bad its a hundred years old." Jinx grabbed the book off the shelf
"A hundred years?" Cyborg said. He had to admit it looked a hundred years old. The thing's pages were so yellow and brittle looking Cyborg was afraid the thing was going to fall apart.
"Yeah, you don't find many books about Azarath around. I'm not sure why. Anyway, why don't we go to the ops room to read this thing? Honestly how does she live with these dim lights?" Jinx said as she led the way out.
The Titans followed Jinx out, everyone eager to hear about these Nazlar creatures. They must be great people Starfire thought to herself Raven herself is a wonderful person. Surly these people must be good as well, if they are related to her. Starfire had forgotten for a moment about Trigon and how cruel he could be, and the fact that Raven was related to him.
They reached the ops room and gathered around the dinner table. Robin's curiosity was almost eating him up. He wanted to grab the book away from Jinx and start reading it, but he did not.
"You want me to read the thing or just pass it around or what?" Jinx asked.
"Read it aloud." Robin said "it's the quickest way to do this."
Jinx opened the book, but then paused for a second. "Just so you know, Cocourious was an elf. Worst than that he was an elven scholar. They can be a little…arrogant. You sometimes have to read between the lines with these guys."
"That's all right." Robin nodded.
"Okay, just don't blame me if you don't like what you hear." Jinx said, she looked at the book and started to read "The Nazlar race is a savage and brutal species." Everyone's mouth dropped open at this, Jinx ignored them "like their relatives, the minotaur, the Nazlar greatly resemble a livestock type animal. While the minotaur resembles a bull, the Nazlar resemble sheep or rams. Another similarity between the minotaur and the Nazlar is the fact that, while they resemble livestock, the Nazlar, are in fact a predatory race. They are known to be quick to anger and have terrible tempers, but not quite to the extreme as a minotaur.
The male Nazlar stands at about eight feet tall, while the female is usually about an inch or two shorter. The male Nazlar possesses sharp curved horns similar to that of a ram, while the female does not have any horns at all. All Nazlar have cloven hoofs. Generally the Nazlar face resembles that of a human, unlike the minotaur visage which is more like that of the bull they resemble. However, Nazlar do tend to have very long and angular faces. Most Nazlar have eyes ranging from dark purple to light blue. The most common hair color is purple, but other common shades are blue, green, orange, brown and white. Their skin color ranges from light grey to brownish-black. Their heads are extremely hard, which the males use during rutting season-"
"It actually says THAT!?" Cyborg bellowed "I thought we were talking about people here, this guy makes them sound like animals!"
Jinx sighed "Told you elves were arrogant."
"What is 'rutting?'" Starfire asked.
Robin whispered something in Starfire's ear. "Oh." She said, then paused for a moment "Why is that offensive?" she asked.
"Because you usually only say it when you are talking about animals. You don't put it that way for people." Cyborg said with his teeth clinched.
"Do you want me to continue?" Jinx asked.
Robin nodded, though he was feeling a bit put off by this elf guy's attitude.
"Um…okay" Jinx found the place where she left off. "when they fight over the females" grumbles from the audience. "They also use these sharp horns when in any type of battle. The Nazlar are ferocious fighters, and tend to be a bit bloodthirsty and show little mercy on the battlefield.
Despite their vicious nature, however, the Nazlar tend to be very dedicated to family and friends. They are very loyal to their allies, and will not hesitate to aid any in need. Nazlar ferocity is greatly balanced by their innate sense of justice. Most Nazlar are reserved around strangers, but once a friendship is established they are usually strong and able companions as long as their trust is earned. Family is an important aspect of Nazlar life, and they will go to great lengths to protect those close to them. However this instinct has its downside. As a whole the Nazlar people are far to accepting of half-breeds" now Jinx sneered a little, as if she did not like saying that word. "even going so far as to let them into their royal family."
"Half-breed? Is that not what Raven is?" Starfire asked.
"Yes, but don't use the term 'half-breed', it is insulting." Jinx said.
"But Halfblood is not?" Robin asked, remembering that was the term Jinx had used.
"No, it isn't. Probably because it was a half-elf who coined it." Jinx replied while looking back down at the book. For a moment her eyes widened, and then she went to slam it shut. "Well that's all there is, might as well put it back where-Hey! Give it back!" Jinx shouted as Cyborg grabbed the book. He wanted to know what she had seen that made her eyes widen like that. Opening it back to the Nazlar page, he scanned it and started reading where Jinx had abruptly left off.
"As for half-breed Nazlar, the most common type is the combination of Nazlar and human or Nazlar and minotaur. Like all half-breeds the half-breed Nazlar is a twisted and blasphemous union no matter what the bloodlines are. The half-breed Nazlar tends to be insane and murderous, a savage and brutal-Oh what kind of racist garbage is this!" Cyborg bellowed. He looked ready to throw the book out the window. He settled for slamming it down on the table.
Starfire, now curious, picked it up and swiftly scanned the section about half-breed Nazlar. After a while she said "But this is all untrue! Raven is neither savage nor murderous! She is decent and kind! Why does the writer of this say such horrible things?"
Jinx was rubbing her head, as if it hurt her. "I told you that Halfbloods get a lot of garbage." She said. "Look, for a lot of magic users and races Halfbloods are seen as…dirty, because they are half one thing and half the other. Many do not see them as people at all. You hear a lot from some really old magic users about how Halfbloods are perversions because of the way they were born. It's ridiculous, but it is how a lot of people think."
"Darned racist jerk" Cyborg muttered at the book "Why would she have something like this? It's a piece of trash!"
"Well it does have a lot of good information-"
"You call that good!" Cyborg gestured at the offending tome "That's it! Beast Boy was right! I don't want to see another book for quite a while." Cyborg got up and stomped out of the room, still muttering to himself. The things in that book sort of reminded him of the racist opinions he sometimes had to deal with himself. It came from being half-robot. He had been called a monster more than a few times from bigoted people, and he had a feeling he knew what Raven probably felt like when this "half-breed" stuff. No wonder she didn't talk about it! No wonder she did not want them to know!
Starfire got up as well. "I agree with Cyborg. This horrible book is filled with lies. I do not like it. To call someone bad for the way they are born is terrible." She followed Cyborg out the door. She was thinking about Val-Yor and what he had called her. The man who wrote that book was just as bad as the alien captain! Starfire knew in her heart that Raven was a kind and gentle person, not a savage killer. Nothing would convince her that her friend was at all bad. Not even knowing that Raven was a portal for an evil demon had caused Starfire to think less of her friend. She was greatly offended by the book, and like Cyborg felt the thing was useless.
For a while Robin stared at the book. Mostly he agreed with Cyborg and Starfire. The things it had said about Halfbloods was obviously a bunch of racist propaganda, but what about the rest of it?
As if reading his mind Jinx said "It's not all lies, you know. I've heard that Nazlar really are loyal. And they are good fighters, but I've heard them described as courageous, not bloodthirsty. And you know that Raven is like that. She's loyal, and she's brave."
"And she does have a temper." Robin said, remembering what Cyborg had told him about the time he and Beast Boy had gone into Raven's mind.
Jinx nodded "This guy was a jerk, it's true, but that does not mean that the book is totally useless."
Robin nodded and picked up the book. He had the urge to throw it in the nearest fireplace, but he did not. It belonged to Raven, not him, and she could do with it what she wished. He left to return the book to its resting place. He would have to talk to Raven soon.
Beast Boy sat in that chair for a long time, just watching Raven. Yes, now he could admit to himself that he loved her, but what now? How could he tell her something like that? Sure they probably did not have to worry about her powers blowing things up now that her dangerous powers where gone, but that was just a part of the issue. Beast Boy knew that she was probably still hurting from the betrayal of a certain dragon, and Beast Boy was uncertain about how she would react to her annoying teammate confessing his love for her. And what about how she felt? Did she love him? How could he tell if she did or not? Raven was pretty hard to read. There were times when Beast Boy had been certain that she wanted company, but when he approached her he would always end up tossed across the room with an interesting collection of bruises. He just did not know if he should try to pursue a relationship with her.
Still, she is beautiful. He thought. Nice hair, pretty face, those gorgeous eyes, good b- Whoa! Settle down Beast Boy! Mind out of gutter! Mind out of gutter right now!
He sighed. He supposed all this was not important, not right now. Now the most important thing was making sure that Raven got better. He really did want to date her, but he was pretty sure he should not ask her out when she was this badly hurt. He'd wait a while before he tried anything.
With that decided, Beast Boy continued his vigil. He could not take his eyes of her. Part of it was that he was still hopelessly smitten with her, but it was something else to. He felt so bad for her. She just looked so frail, laying there half dead. He had never thought of her as weak before, but now he supposed she was.
"Rae," he said softly, even though she probably could not hear him "Remember what you told me the first time I became the Beast? Remember what you said to snap me out of it? You said you believed in me. I just want you to know; I believe in you too, Raven. You can get through this, I know you can!"
No response, but he really did not expect one. She was deeply asleep, and he did not really want to wake her up. So he just sat there, watching her. Wondering what she was dreaming about.
Oh great! Not this again! Raven thought as she looked around. It was the same windowless castle room with the First Draconic symbols on the walls. Once again she was in the form of a blue dragon. It was almost exactly like the first dream. But this time only the green Time symbol was lit.
Raven saw a face there, the pointed muzzle of a dragon. She snarled at it her own blue muzzled raised aggressively.
"You again! Get out of my dreams! Get out of my head!" Raven said, smoking from the nostrils.
"Your dreams! Your head! This aen't your dream, it's mine, you get out!"
Raven was taken aback, mostly by the tone and the accent. This dragon…it was a she! And she sounded…like she was from the South! She had a bit of a southern drawl to her tone, not so much that she sounded like a complete hick, but just enough to place it in the general area of the South. Mississippi? Louisiana? Texas? Raven did not know exactly.
"How do you know it's your dream?" Raven asked. "What if you are just a figment of my imagination?
"I'd think I'd know if I was a figment." The dragon replied.
"How? Would a figment know if they were a figment?" Raven asked.
"'I think, therefore I am.'" The dragon quoted "Can't remember who said that. Some philosopher or another.
So, this dragon was no fool. She might talk a bit like a hick, but she did have an education. Raven had heard that quote too, but she could not remember the philosopher's name either.
"Well, I'm not a figment of your imagination." Said Raven, but the dragon cut her off.
"And how would you know that?"
"Because I think too!" Raven retorted.
"Are you sure? How can you tell? Are you really thinking or do you just think you are thinking?"
"Now wait a minute!"
"What's the matter? Can't keep up with the rest of the class?"
"What class! What is your problem?" Raven bellowed.
"Hey! Settle down Miss Priss! You're going to give yourself a hernia! I was only joking! Um? You realize you are fading again, right?"
Raven looked down at herself. She was not fading, but the castle was. It was being replaced by fluffy clouds. She was flying through the air.
Straight toward a hail of arrows.
She tried to dodge, but there were just too many. They struck her wings and legs. She fell like a wounded hawk, strait towards the sea. She hit the water with a huge splash and sank like a stone. She struggled, but her wings were useless. Once again she was going down into the depths and the darkness.
Raven woke up, gasping for air. Fro a moment she was disoriented. Where was she? She felt pain like she had never felt before. It was like her whole body had been ripped to shreds (and it kind of had). Her side ached. Her ankle and chest throbbed. And something else too. Someone had grabbed her shoulder and was shaking her.
"Raven are you alright! Speak to me!"
She looked and saw Beast Boy. But something was wrong. He was…different. She studied him. Green skin, pointed ears (still drooping a bit), little fang poking out, and all arms and legs attached. Noting seemed out of place, but something was, she felt like she was not seeing all of him. Then she realized. She could no longer feel his emotions. All her life she had been able to sense the feelings of others, but now with her powers gone she could not. She had never felt this way before. It was like being blind, or crippled.
"Beast Boy," she said "I can't feel you!"
"What?!"
"Your emotions, your thoughts! My empathy is gone! I can't feel you. Oh Azar it feels like I'm blind!" Raven could feel tears threatening to fall. She tried to stop them, but it was just too much. Everything that had happened had caught up with her, the pain of losing her powers, the horror of seeing that monster up close, the belief that she was going to die, and now the loss of an ability that had been hers since the day she was born. She just could not take it anymore. She started crying, and as hard as she tried she could not stop it.
She felt a pair of arms encircle her, and for a moment she wondered what was going on. The she realized. It was Beast Boy. He was hugging her. At first she tensed up, but then she relaxed. She needed a shoulder to cry one, and if Beast Boy wanted to be that shoulder than that was fine.
Funny, though. I would have thought he would just make a dumb joke, but he is being so nice.
"Its okay, Raven." He said "I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."
She cried, for the first time since Beast Boy had met her she really cried. She had shed a few tears in the past, but they were always few and far between. Now was the first time in a long time that she allowed herself a good long cry.
For awhile they just sat there together. Raven crying and Beast Boy comforting. They did this for a long time.
An Author's note: I know that quote "I think, therefore I am" came from some old philosopher, I just can't remember which one...Oh well, just remember that it is not a Hilty origainal!