An Author's note: Vegeta247- yeah, I know the last chapter kind of dragged a bit, frankly it's not my favorite either, but I felt it was important to describe Raven's and Beast Boy's state of mind at the time. Plus I really needed to introduce Sanath and Hadiran. The two of them, especially Sanath, are going to be important to the plot later on. In fact…you could say that Sanath is vital to the plot. Thanks for sticking with me (but you know every story had its slow bits). Anyway, hope this chapter sits better with you.

For the record, I don't really HATE Terra like some people seem to; I just don't like the BB/Terra pairing. I saw their…thing as simple teenage puppy love, not lasting love. As for Terra herself I think she would have made a good Titan, if she had stayed away from Slade. I see her as a sorely misguided young women who is easily manipulated, but not necessarily the Great She-Devil that some writers make her out to be. In fact the worse she is guilty of is plain stupidity (I mean come on, who would choose a creep like Slade over the Titans)?

Oh, and today we get the Hilty Version of Trigon's Past, or at least some of it.

On with the show!

Chapter Ten

Still a Titan?

"Raven," Robin said "We have to talk."

Raven sighed. She had a feeling she knew what this was about. She should have expected it. They were bound to notice the fact that, though she no longer had powers she was still healing surprisingly fast. She heard Sanath's voice in her head again, telling her that the moment they found out they would reject her. But another part spoke up, declaring that nonsense. They had seen her open a portal to another dimension to summon a demon, why would they have a problem with the Halfblood thing? She looked at Robin and wished she could see his eyes. It was so hard trying to read people without her empathy.

"Raven," he said "you told us that Trigon was your father, but as soon as you are gone Jinx tells us that you told her that your father was someone named Flario. Now we get you back and you are healing way to fast for a normal human even though you are not in a healing trance. Please tell me what is going on, Raven. Did you just lie to Jinx because you didn't want her to know about Trigon, or did you lie to us?"

Raven was silent for a long while, trying to decide. Robin had always been understanding toward her, in fact she saw him as a kind of brother. But there were still the old worries of letting people know that you were a Halfblood. Some people reacted violently to that, but they were all Azarathians. Robin was not from Azarath, he did not have the same prejudices. Deep inside she knew the truth. Robin, not to mention the other Titans, could be trusted with the entire story. Or at least everything she knew.

"Get the others, I'll tell all of you." Raven said. Robin nodded and used his communicator to call the others. Within moments the others were there, inclining Kid Flash and Jinx. Jinx had obvious been told that Raven hadn't been completely honest to her, and she looked a bit irritated by this.

"So you lied to me? Why? Do you-"Jinx began. She sounded like she was about to go on a tirade, but Raven cut her off.

"I never lied to you; I never lied to any of you. I just…left some bits out." Everyone stared at her with varying expressions of curiosity.

"Raven, are you sure you are comfortable telling us?" Beast Boy asked with a look of concern.

Raven nodded. "It's alright. I probably should have told you the entire tale when Trigon first came, but I just…didn't think it was that important. But since you asked…" Raven paused for a moment as if gathering her thoughts. Then she began.

"What most people don't know about Trigon is that he is not really a living demon. He is a spirit demon, someone or something that was mortal while living, but turned demonic and evil when they die. Kind of like an angry ghost. Trigon is the strongest of this type of demon. In order work there evil these demons need a host body to possess, and Trigon is no different. Before I was born Trigon took over the body of a Nazlar warrior named Flario. Under Trigon's influence Flario…raped my mother Arella. That's how I was born. While I inherited my powers from Trigon my genetic makeup is that of a human-Nazlar Halfblood."

The Titans were very quite for a while. No one imagined that it would be like this.

"So…where is Flario now?" Cyborg asked unable to help himself.

"You've met him. Trigon still possesses his body. He'll keep possessing Flario until the body grows old and used up, and then he will go to another. As for whether or not Flario's mind is still alive even though his body is possessed…I really do not know. No one has ever been able to shake of Trigon's influence before."

"Oh Raven, I'm so sorry." Beast Boy said.

"For what?" She asked.

"Well, you lost your father to a monster, that must have been-"

She gave Beast Boy a vicious look "If you think I miss him or something you are wrong! You can't miss what you never had."

"But still…" Beast Boy said with a sad look. He had lost both of his parents when he was younger. He missed them terribly. What would it be like growing up without a father at all?

"Aren't you leaving something out?" Jinx said with a mild look.

"Yes you are right. That's not quite all," Raven admitted she decided to tell them all she knew about Flario so she would not have to do this again. "Flario was not just a warrior. He was the youngest son of the rulers of the Nazlar people."

Starfire let out a thrilled little squeal. "So you are a princess like I am? How wondrous!"

"Well…yeah kind of. But unlike you I'm the very last person who can possibly end up being a queen. There are about…" Raven seemed to count for a moment. "Eleven others who are in line before me. In fact for most of my life I would never have been considered a candidate at all."

"Why not? They didn't reject you did they? If it's because of the Trigon thing-" Cyborg started.

"No, it's because I am a member of the Temple." Raven replied "The Nazlar king, or queen, is expected to be the protector of the people. You can't do that if you are a pacifist. What if someone attacks you? To the Nazlar people a pacifist ruler is pointless. So anyone who is a member of the Temple can never be considered to rule the Nazlar people. Unless you are a member of the Makhar, then you can be, because the Makhar are the one Temple sect that can fight. For a while I was just a member of the Temple. I didn't start studying to be Makhar until I was ten."

"So technically you could be their queen." Said Robin, who was trying to sort this entire situation out.

"Like I said, only if a bunch of my relatives suddenly kneeled over." Raven said.

"How many are there?" Beast Boy was insanely curious. It didn't surprise him that Raven could be a queen. Heck she acted like she was aristocracy some of the time.

"The current ruler is my grandfather, Zarule. Then there is Nakla and her two children: Zaka and Lorzo. Then Morzan, he has three children: Holft and Kale who I hear are twins and Seerka. Then finally there is Flario. Oh, and the Matron of the Temple is my aunt, but she can't be queen because she is the Matron."

"Matron?" Robin asked.

"Head of the Temple."

"Oh."

"Wow! The family reunions must be chaotic with all of those people!" Cyborg said, trying to steer the subject to reasonably happy waters. He failed.

"Actually, I never met any of them except the Matron." Raven admitted "My mother, Arella, didn't really want to see them that much. She never liked royalty, and she was not too fond of Nazlar in general. Probably understandable considering what happened to her. The ironic thing is she has some Nazlar blood as well. Her great-grandfather was one. So genetics wise I'm more Nazlar than I am human. Now can I please stop talking? My throat is going dry."

"Hey! I know what you need!" Beast Boy jumped up. "Some of that herbal tea stuff you like! Hang on, I'll get you some" He rushed out the door like a green whirlwind. Soon he was back with a steaming cup of Raven's favorite drink. He then abruptly shooed everyone out of the med lab, saying that Raven needed some time alone. Raven was grateful that Beast Boy was being so nice. She was not expecting that from him. She wondered if he would stay, but apparently Cyborg's talk had convinced him not to be so hovery (A/N is that a word? Well it is now!). After telling her about three times to call him if she needed anything, the young shape shifter left her alone.

Relived to be alone Raven sipped her tea and brooded a little bit. The dream was still fresh in her mind, and she did not like the implications of it. Was she really starting to have feelings for Beast Boy? She had to admit that he grown quite a bit in the time she had known him. When she had first met him he was just a skinny little boy who was barely out of puberty. A little squirt with all the intelligent of one of his own tofu burgers. Now…he was still a bit immature at times, but there were other times when he showed some adult qualities. He had grown quite a bit. He was no longer so scrawny. He was not a muscleman like Cyborg, but he had grown an inch or two taller than Raven herself. She had also noticed, when he had been close to her, he had little green hairs on growing on his chin. Soon the kid would have to start shaving his face, or grow a beard.

Pretty soon we might have to start calling him Beastman or something like that. She thought with amusement. In a few years it will be obvious that he is not a boy anymore.

But she was getting of the subject. The real question was what did she feel for Beast Boy? She did consider him her friend, but was there anything else? Could there be anything else?

The fact was, she was not sure. After Malchior…and Sanath, she just did not know. She did not even know how she felt about Beast Boy. In the past she would have gone to Nevermore and talked to her emotions, particularly Love, but without her powers it was nearly impossible to go.

Besides she doubted that he felt anything but friendship for her. In a way the dream-Terra had been right. Who would choose an ugly Halfblood like her over a normal, not to mention pretty, human girl? Sure Terra was not around anymore, but Raven was certain that if Beast Boy started dating it would be with someone like Terra, not someone like her. Someone with normal looking hair and normal looking eyes and without any grey skin. Someone who was not so…creepy. How she hated that word! It was not like she set out to be dark and gloomy. She was dark because that was the nature of her demonic power, she was gloomy because she could not show emotion. There was no way a happy cheerful guy like Beast Boy would like her as anything more than a friend. She suddenly found that she was sad. Why she should be sad she did not know.

She decided not to worry about it, not now, maybe later, when she did not feel so drained. She did not realize it, but once again she was drifting off into sleep. But this time, thankfully, there were no dreams.

The next few days were quite. It was as if the entire villain community had decided to take a break from crime. Not once did the alarm ring. Robin was very glad for this. Raven needed time to recover, not just from her injuries, but from the trauma of having her powers literally ripped from her body. At first she had seemed fine, but Robin was still a bit cautious. He still remembered what Jinx had said about people who Sumal stole from, how they acted like zombies. He watched closely for signs of anything funny, and while there was nothing obvious, Robin did see some disturbing signs.

Raven had always been the quietest one of the group, but now she seemed almost lifeless. Robin noticed that she spent a lot of time starting blankly into space, and sometimes it was for hours on end. She was not sleeping to well either. Robin could see dark circles under her eyes. Robin was afraid that she was having nightmares and might not be getting enough sleep. Even though she was fully healed she point blank refused to train anymore. Robin knew a bit of psychology, and he was afraid that Raven was suffeign from post-tramatic stress disorder. He was no expert, but that was his fear.

Finally, after about four days of this Robin decided to have a talk with Raven. She was sitting on the Titan's couch staring out the window apparently at nothing. This was not good.

"Raven," he asked "why aren't you training anymore? Cyborg said you are fully healed. You should start training again."

"And what exactly would I train, Robin?" Raven asked, not looking at him "I have no powers, no special abilities. I'm just a normal girl now. I shouldn't even be here. I'm not a Titan anymore." There was more sadness in her eyes than Robin would never have imagined. Raven had always been a bit of a reluctant hero. He did not know that being a Titan had become so important to her.

"Raven I don't have any special powers either, but I do just fine. Maybe with a little training-"

Predictably the alarm went off at just that moment. At the moment Robin hated the thing with every fiber of his being. The other three ran in, followed by Kid Flash and Jinx. The two of them had asked to stay for a bit. Kid Flash claimed it was because they were a bit tired of traveling and wanted to rest for a while, but Robin had a feeling that Jinx wanted to be there for Raven. Perhaps it was because of the mutual relationship there fathers once had, or maybe it was because they were both magic users. Whatever the reason the two of them had stayed, and Robin was grateful. It was true that without Raven's powers they were significantly weaker. The fact was she was one of the most powerful people on the team. The two of them would be a great asset.

"It's robbery at the mall. Titan's Go!" Robin bellowed. They all followed the command, including the two newcomers. Except for Raven. She did not budge from the couch.

"Raven?" Robin asked, hoping to get her to show some life.

"I'll just be a burden. Go ahead." She said.

Robin wanted to stay; he wanted to help her somehow. She looked so sad and dejected. But he had a duty, and he could not ignore it. Promising himself that he would talk it over with Raven when they got back, he turned and left her alone.

Eventually Raven got bored with staring at the clouds and started wandering the halls. Sensing her sadness Mithrah followed her like a loyal hound. The big beast wanted to help her, but had no idea how. He knew that his mother had been badly hurt, even though her wounds were healed she was still hurting. He had no idea what was wrong with her, and that upset him greatly. Raven yearned to be with her friends, but she was afraid if she did she would be a burden. What if she got in the way? The Titans could spend all of their time looking out for her and not paying attention to the fight. It could end in disaster. She had to face it, without her powers she was useless.

But that's not true, is it girl? A voice, strangely familiar, piped up from the back of her head. Robin is not the only one who was trained in martial arts.

She shook her head. She had not used those skills in years! She had most likely forgotten everything the General had taught her! She had focused on her magic for so long she had become dependent on it. Amused she realized that this situation had been exactly what the General had warned her against years ago. She should have listened to him, but it was to late now.

You can't just sit here! You may not acknowledge it, but you are still half-Nazlar. Battle is in your blood! And you can't leave your friends alone! You may not have powers but you still have Whistler! Pull the thing out of your closet and use it!

Whistler…it had been years since she used it, would it even obey her now? Well, it was worth a try. Better that wandering around with no clue. If she did not do something soon she would go crazy. She needed to help the others, or at least try to. Making up her mind she went to her room. She dropped to her knees and started searching under her bed for what she was looking for. Finally she pulled something out.

Whistler was a sword. In fact it looked very much like a claymore. It was large and heavy looking, but Raven seemed to have no trouble holding it. It seemed almost plain, but for the odd low whistle that it emanated. The metal looked like normal steel, but Raven knew better. The thing was magic, like a lot of things in her room were. It gleamed with sharpness; in fact it looked like it could cut through steel. It trembled in her hands all by itself, as if eager for something. The blade was sentient, though it did not actually talk back Raven could understand it pretty well.

"Whistler," she said "I've not used you in a long time, but I need you now. Do you mind?"

The blade hummed an affirmative. It wanted to be used. It yearned to be used. It did not particular care if the cause was just or not. Swords rarely care about that sort of thing. In fact it seemed to tremble in anticipation.

"Blunt yourself, I don't want anyone killed, understand?"

The blade trembled again, and did what it was told. In an instant the things razor sharpness had been dulled. It could still kill if you bludgeoned someone with it hard enough, but now it was a bit less deadly.

Now, how was she going to get downtown? She could not fly anymore…wait a moment! She could just ride Mithrah! She was pretty sure that she could control the horse well enough. Quickly she saddled Mithrah, who had sensed her intentions and was dancing eagerly. She climbed up into the saddle and rode him out of the tower, determined to help her friends.

Robin whacked the big moth creatures away with his bo staff, slowly getting more and more grouchy with every minute. Why did Killer Moth, instead of taking his disgusting daughter on a shopping spree like a normal father, he insisted on taking her on a stealing spree at the mall? Not only did they have to face the big insect-man himself, but they also had to contend with Fang, Kitten's spider headed boyfriend. Frankly Robin had enough of spiders after Riki, and he did not care to see more arachnids for some time. Darned ugly things!

It was chaos. The brainless blonde, Kitten, was going from store to store taking whatever she fancied from the selves. Following her was bug face, Fang, and they both were carrying bags filled with Kitten's stolen property. The only person who was actually fighting the Titans was Killer Moth himself and his fuzzy minions. There were a lot of minions, and while the Titans were doing well, they could not seem to get to the two robbers, as every time they got close a bunch of bugs would pop up in front of them. It was frustrating and Robin wanted this to be over, but at least the bugs did not multiply like the golems had. Leaping over several bugs Robin faced off with Killer Moth himself.

"Ever think that maybe you are spoiling that brat?" Robin growled.

"Call my daughter a brat again and I'll use you to feed my moths!" Killer Moth growled right back.

"Fang!" Kitten bellowed as if she were commanding a dog "I want everything in that jewelry store! Go fill up this bag!"

"No problem, babe" Ugly replied as he entered the jewelry store. Kitten grinned broadly.

Robin ground his teeth in frustration. He was so busy glaring at Fang and Kitten that he momentary forgot about Killer Moth. The mutant grabbed Robin and flung him to the ground, apparently still angry with Robin for calling his spawn a brat. The two glared at each other with hate. Suddenly Robin heard…hoof beats?

"RAVEN!" he heard Beast Boy call and then Killer Moth was knocked aside by a black and blue blur. Robin looked up and saw Raven mounted on Mithrah. And she had…a sword?

Raven whirled her horse around and shouted a command. Electricity burst from between Mithrah's horns to zap the moths. Within moments the creatures had been shocked into paralysis. Robin checked one; they had not been killed just stunned. Raven urged Mithrah towards Kitten, who was staring at the pair with big eyes. Raven pointed her sword at Kitten in a hostile way. Robin was sure that Raven would never actually skewer someone, but it looked good and threatening. Seemed to be intimidating Kitten nicely.

"Put the bags down and come quietly. Now." She growled and Mithrah lifted his lips exposing his sharp fangs for emphasis. Kitten squeaked and dropped her bags. Robin was grinning as he snapped some handcuffs on Killer Moth. Raven didn't need powers, just like he had always believed. She could get by without them.

"Get away from my girl you witch." Fang had returned from his venture into the jewelry store, and he had come up behind Raven. Robin thought he was angry, but it was hard to tell when you had a spider for a head.

Raven turned and froze. Her eyes grew wide when she saw the spider headed teen in front of her. Shaking she slide off Mithrah and started shrieking in horror. Robin was shocked. What was going on? Raven had never been afraid of Fang before. Why was she…of course! Riki! Her lost powers! The trauma of losing her powers combined with the fact that she had been in the presence of a huge spider must have caused her to develop arachnophobia. Robin knew that it was possible for a person who had undergone a severe trauma could develop a phobia to something that reminded them of the event. Losing a part of ones soul must have been a terrible ordeal. The sight of Fang's spider head must have sent Raven into a panic.

Hearing her screams and sensing her fright, Mithrah roared in anger. He knew exactly why his beloved mother was acting this way. This bug headed thing had done something to her! Determined to protect Mother, Mithrah sent his electric bolts toward the bug thing. It fell to the ground stunned. Mithrah pounced. Stamping and biting the big night horse was prepared to end Fang's pathetic life, but then he saw something green from the corner of his eye. Beast Boy had sifted to a green night horse and tried to communicate with Mithrah.

"Stop! He's down, Mithrah! You don't have to hurt him."

"Look at what he did to Mother! No one hurts Mother!"

"Please stop!"

"Why should I? This creature is no friend of Mothers!"

How do you explain to a wild night horse that it should not follow his instincts to kill? Beast Boy tried, but he knew that an animal did not understand morels like a human did. Fang had hurt Raven; therefore in Mithrah's eyes he should be killed. To the night horse it was that simple and perfectly black and white. Beast Boy could think of only one thing to say.

"Believe me Mithrah, Raven would not like it if you killed for her. I know that you feel it is right, but will you please let Fang go? For Raven?"

"It makes no sense, but I do think I trust you. I will let the creature go. But only because you say that Mother would prefer it."

Mithrah backed away from the prone Fang, who looked like a chewed up dog toy. Beast Boy, unable to see Raven trembling like that for much longer, gently wrapped his arm around her shoulder and started leading her away. The others could handle the criminals. He figured that if she did not see Fang than she would snap out of this. He could literally feel Raven's heart beating frantically and her body trembling. Her breath was coming in short gasps and he was afraid that she would start choking. He could tell she was having some sort of panic attack. Slowly, painfully slowly, she started calming down.

"You okay now?" Beast Boy asked still filled with concern.

"Fine." Raven said shortly. Beast Boy looked at her. She seemed very upset, but this time it was not panic. It was something else. Realizing whose arms were around her Raven shoved Beast Boy away, as if angry. She called Mithrah and mounted the night horse, not even bothering to wait for the others.

Beast Boy sighed. He could tell she was still very upset, but he did not know what to do for her. He shifted to hawk and followed Raven and Mithrah, determined to help.

Whether she wanted help or not.

"Beast Boy, it's impossible. Let's face it; I can't be a Titan anymore, not if I keep freezing like that."

"You're wrong, Rae! You were doing just fine-"

"Until Fang showed up, then I fell apart!"

Robin could hear the two of them fighting from all the way outside the hall. That was it! He had had enough! He was not going to let Raven fall into a depression! Not if he could help it! They were going to get their teammate back even if Robin had to bug her from morning to night. He went into the ops room with a determined look.

Raven and Beast Boy stood in the middle of the room, both looking determined and stubborn. The sword that Raven had with her at the fight was laying on the couch, gently thrumming to itself. Mithrah, deciding that Raven could handle this on her own, had curled up in a corner and was falling asleep.

Raven and Beast Boy apparently had not notice the fact that the others had arrived. They kept on arguing and fighting until Robin finally shouted:

"Enough you two! Stop arguing. Raven I-"

"Tell her she can't leave, Robin!" Beast Boy pleaded with his leader "Tell her she can still be useful!"

"Leave! No! Raven please do not leave us!" Starfire said, floating over to her friend with a concerned look on her innocent face.

"I have to, Star." Raven said turning away. She could not look at the alien's sad eyes. "Without my powers I'm useless and if I freeze like that again on a mission…" Raven shook her head. "I can't be a Titan anymore."

"Really, then what is this then?" Robin said, picking up the huge sword. It was very heavy. Robin wondered how Raven had managed to lift the thing. It thrummed uneasily in his hand, but Robin ignored it. Jinx stared at the blade with a thoughtful look. "You call yourself useless, but remember your birthday when you hit that piñata? You held that bat like a sword. Your stance was almost perfect. Someone taught you swordsmanship, didn't they? That's why you have this. You may not have powers anymore but maybe-"

"I haven't used that sword in years, Robin. I've probably forgotten everything I once learned." Raven said sadly.

"So I'll help you! I'm one of best martial artists in the world!" Robin said.

"Help me! How!?" Raven bellowed and everyone instinctively winched. They had gotten used to things blowing up whenever she got mad, and even though nothing happened the reaction was still there. Raven instinctively lowered her voice to a hiss. "You may be an expert in Earth martial arts, but you no nothing about Azarthian techniques."

"You're right, I don't. But I can still help you. Just let me try." Raven refused to look at him. "Raven, we need you." He said.

"Why would you need me?" she said.

"For one thing you are the only one on the team with common sense." Robin said

"And you may not have powers, but you know more about magic than any of us." Starfire added.

"Heck you know more then me!" Jinx piped up.

"Remember the time we were trapped in Mumbo's hat? Who was the one who got us out of it? You and you didn't use your powers." Cyborg joined in.

Kid Flash didn't say anything; he really did not know Raven to well.

"Raven, we don't care if you don't have powers." Beast Boy said "We still need you." I need you. He thought to himself.

"Just let us help you." Robin looked at his friend, practically pleading now. "Stop trying to do everything yourself and let us help."

Raven looked from person to person. Why did they care so much for her? It made no sense, but she knew that they meant everything they said. Once again she felt herself overwhelmed by their kindness. She knew then that she could never leave them, not at all. She noticed Jinx staring at the sword with an odd look on her face. Suddenly the sorceress snatched the blade from Robin's hand and stared closely.

"This…this is…Raven do you have any idea what you got here?" Jinx shouted.

"A magical elven claymore named Whistler." Raven stated.

"This is it! Raven this is the answer to our problem!" Jinx was bouncing up and down.

"What?" Raven gave her an odd look.

"You idiot! Don't you know your own sword's powers?" Jinx screamed.

"Of course I know! It's a sentient blade that can adjust its weight and sharpness and…" Raven slowed down as the same thing that had occurred to Jinx started occurring to her "and it can dispel all magic with its whistle! That's it!"

"Um, Jinx and Raven? No one understands what you are talking about." Kid Flash said "Could you translate please?"

"That sword, its called Whistler, can dispel magic. Meaning it can stop a spellcaster from casting." Raven explained.

"Meaning if we used it against Sumal we can stop him from casting spells, including the stolen ones!" Jinx said, excited. "We can use it to fight Sumal again and take Raven's powers back! Not only that but we can retake all the other powers he has stolen!"

"Awesome!" Beast Boy said with enthusiasm. It never occurred to him that it might be harder to woo Raven if she had her powers back. All he knew was that she was depressed and sad without them, and more than anything Beast Boy wanted to see Raven happy.

"Guess I'm going to need you to help me train with this thing after all, Robin." Raven said "If I'm going to face Sumal with this I'll need to relearn everything I forgot."

Robin nodded. Everyone was so busy planning battles and congratulating Jinx for her cleverness that they did not notice that one Titan was not as thrilled as he should have been. Deep inside Cyborg was grumping. He still disliked magic, and it looked like they were going to be dealing with it for a while. Personally he did not see why Raven would want her powers back. Without her powers she was free. Free to feel and love and be happy. Cyborg saw getting her those powers back akin to sending her to prison. He did not like it, but he said nothing.

At least not then.