(…hey look. XD I didn't forget about this! I still write random Misa drabbles! just...not as frequently. Maybe this one's wishful thinking, but I like Misa erring towards being more human & stuff… )
Yagami Light and Amane Misa make up a very perfect picture—it's really impressive, you know. Misa'd be overjoyed if she could see it from a distance. When Light comes out and tells her it's done, tells her that together they'll create that new world he loves so much she fills her eyes with shining elation that's—that's genuine, of course. Because he's looking at her. He's looking at her, and she…oh, this is what she wanted more than anything. She loves Light when he's triumphant more than anything, because he holds that wonderful, oh, how should she say it, he's really really godlike and really really human at the same time and it's—amazing.
He's going to kiss her soon.
But she feels taut, momentary. Because it is never this simple. They may be looking for perfection but they haven't found it yet:
she has to know shamefully in her heart that he has not found it in her, he can't have, because standing here looking into her lover's eyes she knows in between the shocks of dizzying pleasure some sickness she can't quite seem to shake off, like she's filming a commercial where she's got to look blissful but she's worried and tired and wrong. The pleasure and the sickness are mixing too much.
She's just, um.
Thinking too much.
Feeling too much?
Here, and, and now, and—
She's smiling.
That's good, anyway.
It's only a sliver of Misa that's glancing away at a white wall eyeing its empty spaces for lack of anything else to look at. Empty. Spaces. Yes. There's a sudden shiver crawling underneath her skin making her hair stand on end, still. A scratchy feeling in her throat. She wants to blink, but isn't sure she can. She has to hold onto this image and secure it. It's the image she wants to remember later, and she wants to forget everything else—how she didn't feel like she'd won anything at all.