Chapter Ten
As Anakin returned to his room, he saw that there was a message waiting for him on his comlink. He activated the device and a three-dimensional image of Palpatine appeared. The sight of his master filled Anakin with a cold sense of dread.
"I trust that you are well, my young apprentice," Palpatine began. "It has been nine days since I sent you on your mission. I am disappointed in you, Anakin, for I expected to hear from you by now. I trust that the deed has been done by now. Contact me immediately."
The tone in Palpatine's voice left little doubt that he was displeased. Anakin stood for a moment, his mind working frantically to try to decide what he needed to do. If I don't contact him, he will only grow more angry, and continue to send messages, or maybe even someone to deliver a message personally…but if I do contact him, what will I tell him? That Senator Amidala is still alive? That I have no intention of killing her? That I can't stop thinking about her?
Before he had a chance to decide what he was going to do, the comlink sounded again. Anakin knew who it was. He responded to the signal and the image of Palpatine was once again before him.
"Hello my master," Anakin said, forcing a smile. "It's good to see you."
Palpatine did not return the sentiment, and merely looked at the image of his young ward, trying to read what was in his mind. "What is going on, Anakin?" he asked without preamble. "Is she dead?"
"No, no she isn't," Anakin said, thinking fast. "I haven't found her yet."
Palpatine frowned. "Nine days and you still haven't found her?" he asked angrily. "How is that possible?"
"The Jedi have her well hidden, my master," Anakin explained.
"You are a Sith," Palpatine countered. "Your skills are vastly superior to any Jedi!"
Anakin averted his eyes, giving the appearance of being contrite. "I'm sorry, Master," he said.
"Sorry isn't good enough," Palpatine snapped. "You have forty-eight hours to find her and kill her, or I will find someone else to do the job, someone who will not fail me."
"I won't fail you again, Master," Anakin told him, keeping a tight rein on his emotions.
"See that you don't," Palpatine snapped, and then the transmission ended.
Anakin sat down heavily on the end of his bed, running his hands into his hair. Now what? He thought anxiously. What am I supposed to do now? Padmé's life is in danger no matter what. Palpatine is determined to have her killed no matter what…
With this dire thought in mind, Anakin kicked off his boots and lay back on the bed. He stared up into the darkness, his mind working frantically to resolve what seemed to be an unsolvable dilemma.
Shmi and Padmé both noticed how quiet and sullen Anakin was at breakfast the next morning. He seemed distracted and tired, and Padmé had to wonder if he'd had any sleep at all the previous night.
"I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go into the little village nearby to do some shopping," Padmé asked Shmi. "You could probably use some new things," she added.
Shmi nodded. "Yes, that's certainly true," she said. She looked at her son. "I'm sure Anakin won't mind having the place to himself for a few hours, will you Ani?"
Anakin heard his name and looked over at his mother. "What's that?"
Shmi smiled. "Padmé and I are going to do a bit of shopping," she said. "You don't mind if we leave you alone for a while do you?"
Anakin frowned, looking at her and then Padmé. "I don't think that's such a good idea," he said, remembering his master's threat.
"Why not?" Padmé challenged.
"Because you are supposed to be in hiding," Anakin said, thinking fast.
"From you," Padmé pointed out.
"Yes, well," Anakin began, trying to find a reason that would not test Padmé's strong sense of logic, "it's just that…"
"You don't trust me?" she challenged.
"I didn't say that," he replied. "I have my own reasons for not wanting you to go alone."
"Ani, I'm fine," Shmi said, realizing that it was she that he was worried about. "I know you don't relish the thought of spending the morning shopping."
"I don't," he admitted. "But I'll do it anyway, if that is what you want to do. I'm not staying here and letting the two of you go alone, and that's final."
Shmi and Padmé exchanged a look. "Looks like we're all going," Shmi said.
Padmé nodded, sensing that there was more to Anakin's reaction than mere stubbornness. "Yes, so it seems," she agreed. "Well let's be off then, shall we?"
The small village where Padmé directed Anakin to had a few small shops, a farmer's market and a small outdoor café. Anakin wished he was anywhere but where he was, and did not try to hide his boredom as his mother and Padmé browsed for what seemed to him an eternity in the small boutiques. He insisted on buying his mother close to an entire new wardrobe; it made him feel good to be able to buy her things that she had never had the money to purchase before.
"Try to leave a few things for the other patrons," Anakin told the ladies as they entered the last of the boutiques.
Padmé and Shmi didn't pay him much attention, which annoyed him even further. He walked through the shop, which, he noticed, only catered to women, and looked idly at the racks of clothing as Padmé and Shmi wandered about. His eyes lit on something and he smiled, and picked it up from the rack. He looked around and, seeing Padmé alone, approached her.
"I thought this might interest you," he said, handing her the garment. "I'm sure you'd look incredible in it."
Padmé took the item from him and held it up. It was a black lace teddy. She looked at him, noting the grin on his face. No doubt he was trying to embarrass her. You'll have to do better than that, she thought.
"I do," she said, handing it back to him. "I already have one just like it."
She walked away so he wouldn't see her laughing at the look on his face. He looked down at the garment; suddenly feeling embarrassed himself, and hastily hung it up on the nearest rack. She's good, he thought as he watched her across the room. I wonder if she's telling the truth… The thought of her wearing something so sexy wasn't one he felt prudent to dwell on at this particular time, so he looked away from her, nearly bumping into a rather stout woman who had picked up the garment and was holding it against her rather generous body. At this point, Anakin headed for the exit, having had more than his share of ladies apparel for one day.
A short time later, although it seemed like much longer to Anakin, the three of them sat at the small café eating lunch. It was a warm summer day, and the café was crowded with patrons.
"Anakin, you really didn't need to buy me all those clothes," Shmi said, looking at the huge pile of bags beside their table.
"I wanted to do it," Anakin replied. "You have never had nice things, Mom; I liked buying you some. You deserve them."
Shmi smiled. "That's very generous of you," she said.
"You know I found a vendor in Theed who was selling pallies like we used to get at home," he told her.
"Really?" she said with a smile. "I wonder if the market we saw down the street had them too."
"Why don't you go and check?" Anakin suggested. "I'll wait here for Padmé."
"Very well," Shmi said, standing up. "I'll be right back."
Anakin watched her go, still hardly able to believe that she was back in his life, wondering how he had gone eleven years without her. A waitress came over to the table and started clearing the dishes away.
"Will there be anything else, sir?" she asked.
"No," Anakin replied. "Just the bill."
"Of course, sir," she replied and left at once, just as Padmé returned to the table.
"Where is Shmi?" she asked, sitting down.
"She went to the market looking for pallies," Anakin told her.
"Pallies?"
Anakin nodded as he took a drink of his water. "We used to get them on Tatooine. I saw someone in Theed selling them and I thought they might have them here too."
"I see," she said, sitting down. "You're still worried about her, aren't you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that's why you insisted on coming with us," Padmé replied. "I know you didn't come for the shopping," she added with a smile.
Anakin smiled. "No, not my favorite way to spend the morning," he replied. "But it wasn't because of her that I came, it was because of you."
Padmé frowned. "Me? Why?"
Anakin said nothing for a moment, and then looked down at his half empty glass. "I have my reasons," he replied at last.
"And you don't see fit to share them?" Padmé replied.
He looked up at her. "You really don't know how to take no for an answer, do you?" he challenged.
Padme shook her head. "No, I don't," she replied. "So you might as well tell me."
Anakin ran a finger up the side of his glass, trying to decide what to say. "I heard from Palpatine last night," he told her at last.
The mention of his name sent a shiver down Padmé's spine. "Oh?" she asked, trying to hide the fear in her voice.
Anakin nodded. "Yes," he replied. "He was wondering how my….mission was progressing."
"Your mission?" Padme said. And then she remembered what he was referring to. "Oh yes, your mission to kill me. So what did you tell him?"
"I told him I couldn't find you," he replied.
Padmé was surprised by this. "You lied to him?"
Anakin looked up at her. "Does that surprise you?"
"Yes it does," she replied. "Very much so. Did he believe you?"
"I don't know," he replied. "He can be very…guarded when he needs to be."
"No doubt," Padmé muttered. "So what do you plan to do? I don't think he will be put off indefinitely."
Anakin shook his head. "No, he made that quite clear," he replied bitterly.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that……he gave me forty-eight hours to get the job done," he told her. "Or he would send someone else who would."
Padmé swallowed hard. "Someone else?" she asked quietly. "You mean another assassin?"
Anakin nodded.
Padmé could feel her heart pounding within her as the fear spread through her. "What am I going to do?" she asked, more to herself than to him.
He watched her, sensing the great waves of fear that were emanating from her.
"Now you know why I wanted to come with you today," he said at last.
She studied his face, confused by his motivations. "I don't understand," she replied. "Surely you don't mean you intend on protecting me?"
Anakin looked back down to the glass in front of him. "Ironic, isn't it?"
"You could say that," she replied. "I have to say that I'm rather shocked that you would be concerned for my well being."
"I'm rather shocked myself," he admitted.
"So why are you so worried all of a sudden?" she asked. "Why do you care if I live or die?"
Anakin frowned, not knowing how to respond to her probing question. "I don't know why," he replied. "All I know is the thought of harm coming to you is….it's difficult to put into words," he said, frustrated by his inability to voice his feelings. It had been so long since he had acknowledged feelings that were not of a dark nature that the barely knew how to name them.
Padmé watched him, the realization beginning to dawn on her. "You care about me, don't you Anakin?"
He looked up at her, expecting to see a mocking expression on her face. But there was only sincerity in her eyes. He nodded. "I suppose I do," he replied. "You're not the person I expected to find," he added.
"Not the person your master described to you," Padmé remarked.
Anakin shook his head. "No, not at all," he agreed. "Everything he told me about you was a lie, Padmé," he told her, an edge of anger in his voice. "Everything! He is hell bent on having you killed; and he can be very tenacious when he has his mind set on something."
Anakin's words only served to increase her fear. "What can I do?" she asked. "I don't understand what the source of this animosity is," she added. "Why does he consider me such a threat?"
Anakin lowered his gaze down to the glass once again. The ice cubes had completely melted by now, for it was a very warm afternoon. "I think I know," he said at last. "I think he …suspected that I had feelings where you were concerned. That night at the ballet he noticed me watching you, and he was annoyed."
"Why? Surely you have noticed other women before," she stated.
"Yes, of course I have," he concurred. "I'm not exactly a virgin, Padmé," he told her.
Padmé's face reddened. "No, I …sort of had that impression," she replied. "Which makes me think you're wrong about his reasons for wanting me dead. If you have had….relationships with women, why does he care if you are looking at me?"
Anakin didn't know how to respond, for he himself didn't understand what it was he was feeling, feelings that Palpatine had undoubtedly sensed in his young apprentice. He reached over and took one of her hands, and studied it as though trying to tell her fortune. "I don't know," he told her. "Perhaps because he knows how much you meant to me when we were children."
Padmé stared at the hand the he held, and watched as he drew invisible lines over her palm with one finger. Being touched by him this way, gently, tenderly, sent butterflies into the pit of her stomach. She felt as though she should yank her hand away, but she didn't, she couldn't. "We're not children any more, Anakin," she told him.
Anakin looked up at her, to see that she was looking directly at him now. "No, we're not," he agreed. For a moment neither of them spoke, the tension between them rising as each silent second passed.
"Look what I have!" Shmi announced as she rejoined them at the table.
Padmé pulled her hand and back and sat it in her lap as she and Anakin both nearly jumped out of their chairs at the sudden interruption. Shmi, however, did not notice, for she was too pleased with her purchase.
"They look delicious," Padmé told her with a smile. "I'm afraid I couldn't eat another bite right now, though," she added.
"No, neither can I," Shmi said. "But we can take them back and have them later. They're lovely with a cup of tea."
"Sounds wonderful," Padmé replied.
"We should get back, "Anakin said, standing up. "Before they kick us out for loitering," he added with a small smile.
"Yes, we should," Padmé agreed, standing up also. She suddenly felt the need to put some distance between she and Anakin and was only to anxious to leave.
Shmi looked at each of them, sensing the tension that had sprung up between them. She did not comment, however, and simply walked along with them to Anakin's speeder.
Thunderstorms moved in later that afternoon, forcing the three of them to remain indoors. The afternoon passed slowly as Anakin and Padmé did their best to avoid one another. Neither of them wanted to admit how they felt with one another, neither of them quite understood what it was they felt.
Shmi had noticed the tension between them, but decided not to say anything. She had already spoken to each of them, together and individually, and all she received was denial. In time she figured that they would own up to the way they truly felt; such things were unavoidable. She decided to leave them alone and let nature take its course.
Padmé had made a fire in the sitting room, where she and Shmi were enjoying a cup of tea and the pallies that Shmi had bought earlier. The two women had grown very close over the past week, and they never had any shortage of things to talk about.
"When do you plan to return to Coruscant?" Shmi asked her.
"I don't know," Padmé replied. "As much as I would like to get back for the vote, I don't think it's safe for me to go back."
Shmi frowned. "Why not? I thought the threat to you was over now."
"I wish that were true," Padmé replied, looking down into her cup of tea. "But Palpatine has told Anakin that if I am not dead within forty-eight hours he will send someone else to do the job."
"Oh, Padmé!" Shmi cried, putting a hand on her arm. "I can't believe this! What kind of a monster is this Palpatine?"
"He's a Sith."
Both women looked up to see Anakin.
"You can't let this happen, Ani," Shmi told her son. "I don't care what this man has done for you; clearly he has his own agenda. Please tell me that you will have nothing to do with this agenda, Anakin."
Anakin looked at his mother, and then at Padmé. "I don't know what I'm going to do," he told her. "I realize that he has been less than truthful with me," he added.
"Less than truthful?" Padmé said. "That's an understatement, Anakin. He has lied to you about everything that matters; he has tried to turn you against everyone who has ever cared about you. Surely you can see how he has manipulated you."
Anakin nodded. "I know," he said quietly. "I've been a fool to trust him all this time."
"Not a fool, Anakin," Padmé said. "You were an innocent, good hearted boy when he took you in. Of course you trusted him. Don't blame yourself for what he has done."
Anakin did not reply, and it was clear to both Shmi and Padmé that he was uncertain and confused. But the fact that he was willing to admit that Palpatine had been using him all this time gave them hope.
Shmi stood up. "Well I'm going to bed," she said, setting her cup down. "I'm pretty tired."
Padmé looked up at Shmi, suspicious that her departure had nothing to do with being tired. "Have a good sleep," she said.
Shmi smiled. "Thanks, you too." She walked over to Anakin and gave him a hug. "Good night, Ani," she said.
"Good night Mom," he replied, kissing her on the cheek. "Sleep well."
Shmi left, and the room became silent again, but for the crackling of the fire in the hearth. Finally Anakin sat down, his eyes fixed on the flames dancing in the fireplace.
"You okay?" Padmé asked.
Anakin looked at her. "Yes," he replied. "Just….thinking."
Padmé nodded. "You've been doing a lot of that lately," she commented.
"Well, a lot has happened lately," he replied. "A lot to think about, a lot to decide."
"And what decisions have you made?"
Anakin turned to look at her. "I've decided that I'm not going to try to deny my feelings any longer," he said.
Padmé felt her face grow warm under his discerning eyes. "What feelings are you referring to?"
"The feelings I have for you," he told her, holding her gaze unwaveringly.
Padmé swallowed, her heart starting to race. "You…you have feelings for me?" she asked softly.
He smiled. "Surely you knew that, Padmé," he said. "I've had feelings for you for a long time."
"Oh, well yes, of course," she replied, somewhat disappointed that he was simply referring to their childhood friendship. "We had a special bond when we were children."
"We're not children anymore, Padmé," he said, using the same words she'd used earlier that day.
Padmé shook her head. "No, we're not," she replied, suddenly aware of how close he was sitting to her. Had he always been that close? Or was he moving toward her? Her head was spinning, as she sat mesmerized by his impossibly blue eyes.
Anakin looked at her mouth, and then back up into her eyes. "I want to kiss you, Padmé," he told her softly. "Is that alright?" he asked, running a finger along her cheek.
"Yes," she said, her words barely a whisper. He smiled, and then moved closer, his lips touching hers softly. He had kissed other women, he had done far more than kissing with other women; but he had never asked their permission before. He had merely taken what he wanted from them, used them as he saw fit. But with Padmé, it was different. Padmé was not like any woman he had ever known, and she elicited in him feelings that he had never experienced before.
Pulling back he looked in her eyes, seeing in their dark depths the same confused yet undeniable desire that he felt coursing through him. He brought his other hand up and took her face in his hands, kissing her once again.
Heat coursed through Padmé's veins as he coaxed her mouth open. She had never felt this way, never imagined it possible; no, that's not true, she realized I felt this way at the ballet...she wrapped her arms around his neck, tentatively at first, but as their kiss deepened she held him tighter as he pulled her closer, his tongue slowly exploring the soft depths of her mouth. And then he stopped.
Padmé was disappointed when he pulled back, and looked at him questioningly.
"Why did you stop?" she asked softly, playing with the hair that brushed the back of his collar.
"I don't trust myself," he told her with a smile. "I've wanted you since that night at the ballet, but I don't want to do anything you're not ready for."
His candor made Padmé blush, and she looked away as thoughts of that night sprang to her mind. He could see that she was thinking of what happened on that night, and turned her face back to his. "I'm sorry I did that to you," he told her. "That was wrong of me."
"Thank you for apologizing," she said. "I've never felt like that before; it was a little frightening actually."
Anakin nodded. "Maybe we should think about turning in for the night," he said, knowing that he needed to keep a tight rein on his desire for her. "We need to think of a plan to keep you safe."
"Okay," she said, running her fingers through his hair softly. "I'm glad we finally admitted how we feel," she said.
"Well you actually didn't admit anything," he told her with a smile.
Padmé smiled. "In that case, let me reassure you," she said, taking his face in her hands and kissing him once again.
Her kiss took him by surprise, and it derailed his attempts to keep his desire for her under control. His hands found their way into her hair as their kiss deepened. He broke the kiss after a few moments, but only to bring his mouth to her throat, planting hot kisses down the graceful curve of it. Padmé closed her eyes, the sensations he was eliciting so strong that she couldn't help but gasp aloud. Anakin was lost in the scent of her, the silkiness of skin. He brought his hands down as his mouth found the spot between her neck and one shoulder.
"Anakin," she sighed, surrendering utterly to the flood of sensations that were ravaging her body. Somewhere at the back of her mind she knew that she ought to put a stop to this soon, but her body refused to allow it. All she wanted at this point was his touch.
He had never taken the time to go slowly with a woman, to take the effort to pleasure her before taking what he wanted. But Padmé was different, she was a virgin; he wasn't about to do anything that she didn't want, no matter how difficult it was for him.
"You're so beautiful," he told her softly as he looked into her eyes. "Maybe we ought to stop, though. I don't think I'll be able to control myself if we go much further."
Padmé smiled, taking his face in her hands. "I think that's probably a good idea," she told him. He nodded, and kissed her once more on the lips before moving away from her.
"Mom will never let me live this down," Anakin remarked.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean she's known all along that I had feelings for you," he said. "Even when I didn't know it myself."
Padme smiled. "Mothers have a way of knowing us better than we know ourselves sometimes," she told him.
Anakin nodded. "I suppose so," he said. He stood up and held his hand out for her.
"I guess this is goodnight, then," he said, pulling her into his embrace once more. "I'm not sure how I'm going to sleep now, though."
"Why is that?" she asked.
He smiled. "Let's just say I'll be thinking of you, and all the things I want to do with you, to you," he told her.
Padmé blushed, his candor disarming her again.
"Come on," he said, taking her hand in his. "I'll walk you to your room."