It has arrived. Sorry I kept you waiting. There are three unrelated themes to this part in the beginning section because i wrote them at three different times, and still was unsure what to do. I actually think this chapter is pretty good.
"Mom?" I said, flipping the photo over in my hands.
"Yes?" she replied.
"What's on this photo?" I asked.
She moved over to me and took the picture from my hands.
"It's a teenage girl and guy in prom clothes," she said after a moment.
I thought about that for a second. I thought about when I'd gotten the picture. It had been right after talking to Shell so…it might be Shell in the picture. If it was, then the guy was probably a boyfriend. Which meant she wasn't single. Which meant I didn't have a chance.
Unless, of course, they'd already broken up by now.
Unless, of course, the girl in the picture wasn't even Shell.
"And in the corner there's a heart with the letters S.E. and A.B."
The S.E. could be Shell's initials. I had no clue who A.B. could be, though. Maybe the guy, I guessed.
I shook my head. I'd find out later. She pushed the picture back into my hands.
"Thanks," I said. "If you want me, I'll be upstairs."
I went upstairs and threw the picture on the bed. Okay, I thought. What now?
I wished I knew what the flock was doing. There was never a dull moment with them, not even in the long months with Anne.
I wondered what they were doing right now. I wondered if they were already moving on without me. I remembered the sound of Gazzy, Angel and Nudge's cracking, broken, crying voices, and it seemed like we'd never move on without each other. We needed each other, the six of us. At least, I knew I needed them. A flock of six, not five. I felt like such an outcast. Like I could never fit in anywhere but with the flock, as sappy as it all sounds.
And if Fang and Gazzy knew I was thinking these grossly sappy things, they'd torment me with it until the end of time.
I shook my head. Forget it. It's not happening, I thought. They're gone. Face it.
Not long passed when I heard shouting downstairs. I couldn't tell if it was angry or happy shouting. I shot out of my room and leaned over the railing of the stairs.
"Everything's going great!" I heard from my dad. "I can't believe it!"
Happy, then.
"I'm so happy!" my mom shouted gleefully. I darted downstairs, and came out to hear that they hadn't even noticed me there.
"What's going on?" I asked, confused.
"James!" my mom exclaimed, and I suddenly, without any warning, was being squeezed tightly, and, as weak as she was compared to me, she somehow managed to grab onto a handful of feathers and practically pulled them out. It was a sensation similar to someone ripping three strands of hair out at a time. "James, I'm so happy!"
"Mom," I spurted out. "Wings…let go…"
"Right," she said, suddenly letting go.
There was an awkward pause. I guessed that maybe those were coming back into style. I broke it by asking, "What's so great that's going on?"
"Your father got called back by one of the employers!" my mom exclaimed. "The other guy that was picked changed his mind about taking the job, and Tom – I mean, your father – he got the job!"
I grinned widely. Well, that was good.
"That's great news!" I said, hugging my mom back.
"We're going out tonight, to celebrate," my dad announced. I smiled even wider.
Life was starting to look pretty good. Really good actually. Despite that little odd thing with the picture, I had a hot neighbor chick. We were now going to have money. It didn't matter that I was a freak, my parents still loved me. I had a family, a real one. I ignored the absence of flock. Outside of that, everything was looking really good.
After all this time, you'd think, you would really think, that I would learn that that never ever, ever lasts.
-
I was really happy on our way back from dinner. My parents still weren't getting over the volume of what I ordered, but they'd have to deal with it. Money was coming in, right?
When we got back home, I went straight to my room. I had nothing better to do. I remembered back at Anne's house, sometimes I'd stay up a little late just to watch TV or blog –
I jolted up, which ended up not working out so well since I was changing my pants at the time. I fell on the floor. I grumbled and groped for my bed.
Blog. Duh. I could find out what the flock was doing and talk to them and everything. Blog. Of course.
Gotta love the internet.
I finished putting on my pajama pants first this time, then got up and wandered out the door. I remembered an office being somewhere downstairs. I eventually found it, and heard a low whirring of a computer running. Perfect.
I ran to the computer and ran my hands around the area, and found the keyboard and mouse.
I held one hand tentatively over the keyboard, the other, over the mouse. Something struck me.
Stupid, I thought, you can't see what the hell's on the screen.
With the flock, it had always been the flock who told me what I was supposed to be looking at. What I was supposed to be reading. But they weren't here, which was why I was in front of this godforsaken contraption in the first place.
I clenched my hands into fists. Godammit, why the hell did I have to be blind??
My hands curled and uncurled. It was so unfair. If I could see the freaking computer, I'd know. That's all I wanted. Just to know. But nooo….
A boiling anger welled in my dead eyes. Why me? If it wasn't for those warped freaks of nature who like to call themselves scientists, maybe I'd be sitting right where I was right now, except I'd be playing a useless video game, I wouldn't have wings, I would have sat in this chair a million times before, and most importantly – I would not be BLIND.
I grabbed the closest thing to my hand, which happened to be the mouse, and I ripped it off it's cord, and threw it with as much force as I could at the opposite wall. There was a crashing sound like a picture frame breaking, then a clunk as the mouse fell then a louder clunk and the sound of glass shattering on the ground. My hands found their way to something else – it felt like a mug – and I threw that, too. It shattered and a piece careened into my cheek.
I fell to the floor. "Why?" I muttered. "Dammit, why?"
Out of all of the six of us, there had only been one hugely disastrous genetic engineering mistake. One. And who was it on? You've got three guesses to try. And if you can't get it on the first one, you're as dull as Shell.
"Why me?" I moaned quietly.
Someone was moving around upstairs. I slowly moved into a sitting position. The steps came down the staircase, and I pushed myself onto the chair. The footsteps sounded more like my dad's, and he found his way to the office door and opened it.
"What's going on in here?" he exclaimed. I sat, my head turned blankly ahead of me, suddenly aware that my cheeks were cold with tears.
"James," he said and walked to me, putting his arm around me. "James, what's wrong?"
I didn't move at all. Only my lips moved. "Why me?" I whispered. "Out of so many people…"
"It's okay," he comforted. "It's all fine."
He had no idea what I was even talking about. I bent my head over my hands. He had no idea that I was talking about, how I had to be the unluckiest of the six of us unlucky kids. Blind, for god's sakes! Why me?
Maybe I wasn't the unluckiest. At least I actually had my parents. But there was an empty feeling in me where the flock was supposed to be…and my parents just weren't filling it.