Whoo, update! Enjoy.
Lucas, Brooke, Nathan, and Haley stepped into the elevator, completely silent. Haley pressed the button to the third floor, her hand visibly shaking. Nathan was breathing rather heavily out his nose, obviously holding in his anger. Brooke stood silently, her arms crossed, looking impatient and scared. Lucas kept his head down, his eyes examining the marble floor beneath his feet. He wasn't sure if he was imagining it, but when he first entered the elevator he thought he saw a trace of accusation in the others' eyes, as though they were screaming, "This is your fault!"
He couldn't blame them for feeling that way. It was a thought that had been in and out of his mind the entire night. He mentally retraced his steps, remembering every moment since Peyton had showed up, pin-pointing areas that he wished he could change. I shouldn't have picked up the phone, he told himself over again, thinking back to when Peyton's attacker had first called. I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have left her alone. I shouldn't have turned back around. More than anything he wanted to say these words aloud. He was sure that to do so would ease the weight of the guilt on his shoulders. But at that moment, silence seemed the only option. The only noise he heard was the sound of a bell chiming as the elevators doors opened at the third floor.
Lucas stepped out of the elevator last, still staring at the ground. He adjusted the visitor's badge he'd received before entering the elevator, making sure it was clasped tightly onto his jacket. As he looked up, he noticed that the area that the four now stood in was a very small white room. Three of the walls were completely bare. The one straight ahead of them held a very large gray sign with black lettering. "ICU: Intensive Care Unit," read the first line in bold letters. Below it was a small paragraph explaining the ward.
"Where's her room?" Brooke asked, glancing left and right. On either side of them was a set of double doors. Lucas noticed that beyond each set of doors was a short stretch of ground before another set, and then the actual ward- an obvious safety precaution.
"I think it's to the left," Haley noted, pointing to the sign. Near the bottom were two arrows pointing in opposite directions, each with a set of room numbers above it. "She's room 349, right? It says rooms 300-350 are to the left." She grabbed Nathan's hand impulsively and began pulling him down the narrow hall. Brooke followed immediately, keeping a short distance between herself and the other two. Lucas hesitated a moment, his hands deep in his pockets, before turning on his heel and following them.
They approached the first set of doors. There was a small sign hanging to the front of it, which Haley read rather quickly. "We have to wait until these doors close behind us to open the next set," she informed the group. "It's just a precaution. There are a lot of people here with illnesses. They want to keep the area as clean as possible." She pressed the button to open the door, ushering the others inside first and stepping in herself. Once the door behind them shut, she pressed the next button, and they proceeded inside.
There were two nurses at the station ahead of them. They were deeply immersed in a patient's file, bending over to get a good look at it. They glanced up briefly at the group, but seeing their badges, gave small smiles and turned away. Brooke had rushed to the front of the group now, leading their way down the hall to the right. With each step, Lucas became more aware of what he was about to see. There was a nervous, sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He slowed down slightly, trying to clear his head.
Brooke stopped abruptly, causing Nathan to bump into her and Haley into him. "Sorry," Brooke said quietly. She gestured at the sign outside the room. 349. She was biting her lip now, glancing at the others as though waiting for a hint of what to do. They stared blankly back at her, clearly just as lost as she was. "I guess we go in, then."
She cast a meaningful glance around the hall, as though savoring the calm atmosphere of the white and pink walls, the bright fluorescent lights, and the vibrant paintings. She looked more pained and frightened than she had all night. Swallowing heavily, she stepped into the room. Nathan and Haley paused for only a moment before following her in. Lucas's heart was pounding loudly again. He stared blankly ahead, swallowed heavily, and followed the other three into the room.
Lucas instantly felt the cold, miserable atmosphere of the room, even before he had a chance to look at his surroundings. The room was oddly silent, save for the consistent beeping of a machine beside the bed. The walls were a bright white, but not in a comforting way- it was chilling, almost haunting. It felt unusually cold. The lights were very low compared to the brightness of the hall. But Lucas didn't notice any of those things immediately. His eyes were on the bed.
Peyton was lying flat on her back, her eyes closed lightly and her mouth shut, her hair tangled and frizzy. There were minor cuts and scrapes along the side of her face. Her arm was wrapped heavily and resting on a stack of pillows beside her. Lucas felt a nauseous feeling as he noticed the countless tubes- some down her nose, some in her arms, one even trailing down a small incision in the side of her neck. Her chest was rising and falling heavily in time with the beeping of a machine beside her. A small screen above her bed showed numerous lines and numbers, the different functions of her body that were being monitored. The lines were jetting between high and low on the scale, completely unstable. At the bottom of the screen was her temperature. 102.2.
She wasn't okay.
Lucas was speechless. He stared at Peyton, his mouth hanging open slightly, his eyes immediately filling with tears. He wasn't sure what to say or do. He could feel his entire body going numb from the shock of it all. There was a loud buzzing in his ear, preventing him from thinking properly. He was frozen.
Beside him, Brooke reached a hand up to cover her mouth, tears pouring down her cheeks. Her shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. Nathan seemed to be holding his breath, his arms hanging limply at his sides. Haley was sucking in her cheeks, looking very pale and sickly, her leg twitching. They seemed completely stunned.
Lucas broke the silence first, searching for something to say, something to make it all okay. Instead, he found himself choking out, "I should call my mom…"
"I'll do it." Haley turned to him, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket. She gave him pleading eyes, desperate to leave the room. She looked like she would pass out if she had to be in there any longer. "I'll be right back." She backed outside rather quickly, opening the phone as she went and dialing Karen's cell phone.
Brooke moved suddenly, rushing to a chair beside Peyton's bed, her legs shaking. She collapsed into the chair and leaned forward, placing both her hands over Peyton's free one softly.
Lucas swallowed heavily. "I can't," he began hoarsely, his mouth dry. "I can't believe I let this happen. This is my fault. I should've said something." He wrung his hands together nervously. He wanted nothing more than to take a seat beside Peyton and hold her hand also, but his legs seemed to have turned to stone. It was like his body was refusing to do anything his brain told it to. He was rooted on the spot, staring blankly at Peyton's calm face.
Nathan gave a harsh laugh. "You're damn right, you should've said something," he said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. "How could- look at her! You-"
"Guys," Brooke said quietly. Her back was to them but they could hear her words clearly. She squeezed Peyton's hand softly, still not looking at the other two. "Please. Not here." Her voice was raw with emotion. Lucas noticed that she'd stopped shaking. "Not now."
Nathan immediately looked sorry. He gave Lucas a quick apologetic look before striding to Brooke's side and sinking into the chair beside hers. Lucas stared into space for a moment, biting his tongue, and then walked to the other side of Peyton's bed, across from Brooke and Nathan. He sank into the cushioned footrest of a large armchair in the corner. He reached up and pulled a stray curl out of Peyton's face, tucking it softly behind her ear. Her forehead felt warm and clammy. The ventilator beside her let out a loud beep and her chest rose instantly.
There was the sound of heavy footsteps and a second later Haley entered the room, shoving her phone back in her pocket. "I got her voicemail, so I called the house but nobody answered. I left a message there. I'm sure she'll check it right away." She took her place beside Lucas, glancing around for another chair. Lucas scooted to the edge of the footrest, making room for Haley. She smiled sadly and sat down beside him, giving Nathan a meaningful glance and putting a hand on Peyton's leg.
They sat in complete silence for the next half hour. They only spoke occasionally, saying things like, "Her temperature went down a bit," or, "Her blood pressure looks like its stabilizing." Lucas's eyes went to only three things in the entire room: the monitor, the clock, and Peyton's face. He kept one hand on her upper arm and the other on her side, breathing shallowly and silently praying over and over.
At some point a nurse entered the room. She gave the group a sympathetic glance when she entered and pulled out a file, reading over it slowly. She pushed her way through the grouping to Peyton's IVs, checking that each bag was full. When she finished, she stood in front of the bed, obviously trying to get their attention. The group turned their heads to her, eager for information.
"Hi, I'm Grace, I'm the nurse on duty for Peyton tonight," she said in a sweet but sincere voice. "Right now we want to run a few tests, just to see how she's responding to the medication and machines we have her on. It should only take about fifteen minutes, but unfortunately we're going to have to ask you to leave for that time." She glanced at the door, nodding to a doctor standing there. Turning back to the group, she continued. "We have couches in the waiting area for you to rest, and I know there's a coffee shop on the first floor open 24 hours if you need something to eat or drink. I'll be sure to get you the moment we're done testing."
Lucas nodded slowly, too exhausted to argue that he wanted to stay with Peyton. He got to his feet, offering his hand to help Haley up. Across the bed, Brooke dropped Peyton's hand reluctantly and allowed Nathan to pull her to her feet. They marched into the hallway slowly, glancing back at the bed before exiting the room.
"So," Nathan began. "I'm gonna get some coffee. Anybody want anything?"
Haley grabbed his arm quickly. "I'll come with," she offered sleepily. Brooke nodded in agreement and glanced at Lucas.
"You coming?"
Lucas stared at the three of them, feeling his eyes clouding over in exhaustion. He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Actually, I was gonna get down to the station," he said quietly. "They wanted me there sometime tonight." Brooke nodded slowly and gave him a small smile. Haley broke away from Nathan for a second, pulling him into a tight hug, while Nathan nodded gravely. As Haley let him go, Lucas reached into his pocket for his cell phone and keys. "I'll be back," he assured them. "I don't know when but I'll definitely be here as soon as I can."
Giving Brooke, Haley, and Nathan one last smile, he turned on his heel and proceeded down the hall.
--
The questioning took two hours. It was much longer than Lucas had expected. He was sure they would ask him only a few questions, but instead he'd received a full blown interrogation. The officers he spoke to, the two from the hospital, asked him everything from the exact time Peyton had originally arrived at his house to what she was wearing the night her boyfriend had called. They were able to retrieve her attacker's phone number easily.
"This should help greatly with finding him," the female officer had told him. "We're lucky this guy was dumb enough to call without blocking out his number."
Lucas hurried out of the station, driving at least twenty over the limit in his haste to reach the hospital. He was lucky to hit only green lights. The streets seemed too quiet compared to the screaming in his mind. The sun was starting to rise by now- there was a very dull yellow glow at the edge of the horizon. He hadn't heard anything from the other three, so he was sure Peyton's condition hadn't changed.
When he entered the room, he found that Brooke was the only one there, sitting in her usual chair beside Peyton's bed, holding her hand again. He knew that Haley and Nathan were still there, though: their coats were thrown in a heap on the armchair in the corner.
"Hey," Brooke greeted him softly. "How was the questioning?"
Lucas shrugged, taking his jacket off and adding it to the pile. "Long," he replied. One glance at the monitor beside Peyton's bed told him that her condition was almost the same. He sank onto the footrest and placed his hands on Peyton's arm and side again. "Where are Nathan and Haley?"
"They went to the cafeteria," Brooke responded dully. "I would've gone with them, but I didn't want to leave her alone. The nurse suggested talking to her," she said suddenly, glancing at Peyton, "but I couldn't think of anything to say." There were heavy bags under her eyes and she looked drained. Lucas nodded, still not taking his eyes off Peyton.
There was a long stretch of silence before Brooke spoke again.
"Lucas, I'm sorry," she began. He was forced to move his eyes to her now, looking confused. She sighed heavily before continuing. "I'm sorry for going off at you…about her staying with you. I had no idea. Believe me, if I had I never would have been like that." Lucas nodded quickly, saying nothing, his eyes moving back to the bed. Brooke bit the inside of her cheek before continuing. "So," she began awkwardly, "does that mean we're okay?"
The sick feeling that had subsided in Lucas so briefly came back again. He kept his eyes on Peyton this time, trying to think of something to say to Brooke. He let out a low whistle before answering her, still not looking at her. "Brooke," he began weakly, and by his tone it was obvious he wasn't giving the answer she wanted. "It's just…everything that's happening right now…" He swallowed. "I can't. There's too much going on, with Peyton like this and…" He could feel Brooke's eyes on him and knew she was tearing up. "It's not a good time. I can't- I can't be that guy for you. You understand that, right?" There was a stunned silence following his words. He paused, feeling uncomfortable, waiting for her to reply.
"Yeah, I understand," she said after a long moment, but it couldn't be clearer from the upset tone of her voice that she didn't understand at all. Lucas refused to look up but he could tell immediately that she was near tears again. He heard her get to her feet quickly, grabbing her purse. "I think I'm gonna get something to eat," she said shakily. "Now that you're here I guess I can leave for a bit. Do you want me to grab you anything?"
Lucas got to his feet, ready to take Brooke's seat on Peyton's other side. He tried to avoid looking at her. "Maybe some coffee," he said, walking around the bed to the other chair. Brooke nodded, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. Lucas sank into the chair, leaning against it and stretching his back.
"I have my phone," Brooke told him. "So if anything goes wrong, just call." She backed away from him, toward the door, visibly embarrassed and eager to leave the room. "I shouldn't be gone too long. See you in a bit." Lucas heard her push past the curtains in front of the door, her footsteps disappearing down the hallway.
It was now just Lucas and Peyton in the silent room. He leaned forward in the chair, grasping her hand lightly in his own and squeezing it. He remembered what Brooke had said, about talking to Peyton. He opened his mouth, and then closed it quickly, unsure of what to say. A confused expression came over his face. It was the first time he could remember that he couldn't think of anything to say to Peyton. To make up for his lack of words, he wrapped his other hand around hers and dropped his chin against her arm lightly.
"Hey there," he began in a quiet voice. He stuttered slightly, feeling embarrassed and unsure of what to say next. "How're you doing?" He paused again, mentally kicking himself for the habitual question. Sighing, he squeezed her hand tighter. "You have to pull through, okay Peyton? You've just gotta keep trying. I know you can do this." It was amazing how difficult it was to speak to her when she couldn't hear anything he was saying. He thought that if he ever had a moment like this he would say everything he'd been too afraid to say before. "I'm sorry," he told her, a burning feeling at the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I turned my car around. I wanted to come back and talk to you. But then I told myself you wouldn't want to see me, so I turned back around. I could've been there." He barely noticed that tears were streaming down his cheeks. "I'm sorry." Peyton's chest rose and fell greatly as the machine beside her let out a loud noise. Her heart rate, which had been quick and shallow all night, began to slow to normal. Lucas blinked the tears out of his eyes, pulled her hand to his face, and kissed it. He gave her a small smile.
"You know, I lied to you," he told her, and his tone seemed bittersweet. "When we kissed today, I told you I was sorry. I lied." Peyton's blood pressure began to rise slowly, nearing healthy. Lucas wasn't sure if he was imagining it, but he thought he saw a small smile playing on her lips. He put a hand on her cheek. "I'm not sorry at all. Not for a second. And I really wish you would pull through so that I could tell you that. So that I could do it again." He reached up and stroked her hair, his heart pounding.
"I need you to pull through, Peyton."