Chapter 1 - Caecussium
Hogwarts. In his bones he could feel its presence. Was is still the same? Did his attempted deed ruin everything here?
Holding his wand in front of him, he followed its strong pull as it guided him towards the school. Towards the judgement.
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Piercing pain. Trying to suppress it.
"I did tell you that this mission was highly important."
The pain ran through my whole body. To my fingernails, my toes, my ears, it was everywhere.
Don't show that you're suffering.
"Do you have nothing more to say to me?"
Malfoy was staring down at the floor. Eventually he looked up at his Lord.
"I won't disappoint you any more, your Lordship."
"You're quite right, Malfoy. You had better be right."
I deserve this. I deserve this.
"Yes you do deserve this, young Malfoy. You deserve much worse than this."
I only had time to look up at him to see a jet of blinding light hit me square in the eyes.
"Caecussium!"
Darkness. Sheer darkness.
I opened my eyes wide to try and see something
I touched my eyelids.
They were open.
The thing was, I didn't see even a slight outline of my fingers coming towards my eyes.
I fumbled around for my wand.
"Lumos!"
My wand didn't light up.
"It's no use Malfoy. It's no use now. You can forget that spell. You'll never need it again."
x
"NO! No your Lordship, not the Caecus curse!"
Voldemort looked at Narcissa in scorn.
"NARCISSA! You dare doubt the Dark Lord's judgement?"
Narcissa just held her son close to her as they both knelt before Voldemort.
"Forgive her your Highness. I will see to it that she is punished." Having come forward, Lucius, too, bowed down to the Dark Lord.
"Narcissa, Narcissa, Narcissa. Have I not told you? Caring for another being is a burden. A burden, I tell you. It is no use in this world, Narcissa."
Not daring to answer back yet another time, Narcissa held on to Draco. Held on until the end.
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McGonagall clanged her spoon against her wine-cup as she always did before the banquet at the start of each year. Except that this time it was her that was going to give a speech, not…… not the previous Headmaster.
"This year, there will be a radical change in the Head Students. As a way to promote inter-house unity, I have decided to appoint Miss Hermione Granger and Mr Draco Malfoy as Head Girl and Boy."
Draco felt himself being sickened by what he was hearing. A year of utter pain.
At least McGonagall hadn't drawn attention to him. To his face. He couldn't stand his reputation being smeared down to the level of weakness.
"Another year at Hogwarts has yet to start. And to think I had not expected it to be open for further use. I would like to say a few words of thanks to Mr. Potter."
The hall suddenly rang with silence. Draco could feel every head being turned towards Potter.
Why was it him that always got so much attention for being so good?
So good.
All Draco was known for was…
Well. It was all quite disgusting stuff. Slytherin Prince. Sex God. Man-whore. Hogwarts' Death Eater.
He could never be as good as Potter. He'd always be the bad guy.
Blaise nudged Draco. "Look at Saint Potter's being all depressed. Such a little crybaby."
Probably because of his dead best mate Weasel. Served him right for trying to follow in glorious Pothead's footsteps and try to meddle with the Dark Lord.
"And finally. I would like to dedicate the last few minutes of the feast to our great previous Headmaster." She was looking at him wasn't she. Oh my God. Why is she doing this to me?
Malfoy tried his hardest to shut out all she was saying, but it was so hard, with the deafening silence that filled the Hall. "Tragic... will always be remembered… Hogwarts will not be the same…"
Sniff.
He could hear it. Some people around him starting to sniff. Oh God. They were crying.
"killed by one he considered a friend…"
"NO! STOP IT!"
It was so loud, Draco could hear his echo. How dare she mention the circumstances? How could she bring back the pain?
McGonagall had stopped speaking.
"what happened to him?"
"Why's he shouting at her?"
"Why are his eyes shut?"
"Professor… I think they should be sent back to their dormitories…"
Draco recognized the voice. It was Granger. Why does she think she knows best?
"Yes… yes. Alright. Prefects, please lead your comrades back to their dormitories."
At once, chatter boomed in the whole Hall. Malfoy could feel himself being pushed past. Everytime he tried to walk he bumped into someone.
"Oi watch where you're walking! … Oh sorry, didn't realize you had no more means of watching. Well at least now you know what it feels like to be belittled. Serves you damn right for not killing that Mudblood-lover Dumbledore when you were ordered to by the Dark Lord"
"You'd better watch your mouth now, otherwise -"
"Otherwise WHAT? Huh?"
Draco sensed someone rummaging inside his pockets.
"Not so powerful once I've got your wand are you now?"
"You filthy piece of scum, you hand that back to me right this instant!"
"No, actually you can come get it! Come on doggy, come fetch!"
"Mr Bamley."
That voice again. The boy who'd been tormenting Draco had suddenly shut up.
"Kindly control yourself, and return that wand to its rightful owner."
Granger just get away from me. This is between me and the little monster.
He felt the wand being restored to the pocket inside his robes.
"Mr Bamley, do you know how gravely wrong you were to do that? Do you not realise Mr Malfoy has –"
"Granger, what the hell do you think you're doing? Do you think I can't handle this? You think I'm weak now?"
"Malfoy –"
"No, Granger, you don't need to pity me, I don't need that. Just sod off."
"Malfoy, you can hardly say that you don't need help. I mean, without your –"
"YES, WITHOUT MY SIGHT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING – DOES THAT MEAN I'M TO BE TREATED LIKE A TWO-YEAR-OLD?!"
With that Malfoy drew his wand out, and followed it out of the castle. That night he tripped over endless number of times. On that night he, for the first time ever, felt useless.
That night was the night on which he performed the Cruciatus Curse on himself.