Chapter 2

Across the castle in Gryffindor Tower, Dean Thomas was putting up with the same grief from his roommates that Lisa had put up with hers.

"They're perfectly good posters!" Dean shouted for the umpteenth time.

"Yeah, perfectly good posters for the trash bin," Ron Weasely retorted, much to the amusement to the other boys in the circular dorm room. "It'll really spruce it up. The trash bin was sort of a gloomy place the last time I checked."

Throwing a punch at Ron's shoulder, Dean defended himself, "Soccer's a demanding sport! Players have to be strong and lithe and fast and -"

"Cut the crap, Dean! We've had enough lectures from Professor Binns in the last five years to satisfy all of our speech needs," Seamus Finnigan, Dean's best friend, interrupted. "Please, don't go all noble on us, dude." Dean growled and whipped a pair of balled up socks that had been halfway from Dean's trunk to his bureau at Seamus's head. Seamus ducked, laughing, and threw the socks back to their owner.

Simmering, Dean tapped the poster with his wand, gluing it to the wall permanently.

"Lighten up, Dean, we're only messing with you," Harry Potter informed him brightly. "Although Quidditch is the best sport in the whole world, so I don't really see where soccer fits in…."

Neville Longbottom chipped in with a chuckle, "Don't worry, you convinced us not to take things too far when it comes to soccer way back in our first year."

Ron grimaced as the boys took a quick stroll down memory lane. Maybe a month into their stay at Hogwarts, Ron had drawn bras and panties on all of the stationary players in Dean's soccer poster's. Ron's artistic abilities had earned him a trip off a third story balcony and into the frigid lake below.

Relenting with a sigh, Dean resumed unpacking his trunk. As he lifted his red Adidas soccer ball tenderly from its nest in his trunk, a thought hit him. Smugly, he said, "I'm not the only one in the school who's a soccer nut, you know."

Seamus scoffed. "Newsflash for Dean Thomas. Sorry dude, but yes, you are." Skeptical, Neville bobbed his head in agreement, but Harry and Ron reluctantly disagreed.

"Actually, he's right," Harry said dejectedly. Neville's eyes widened and Seamus's jaw dropped.

"Dean? Right? Are you sure?" he wondered, amazed.

Ron looked defeated. "Damn, I forgot about that," he sighed. Turning to Seamus he added, "Yeah, he's right."

"Wow," Seamus breathed. "Correct for the first time in his life." Laughing, Dean swatted at him, but Seamus ducked. Instead, he held out his arm and pretended to wave a microphone in front of Dean's nose. "And here's a live report from Dean Thomas himself. So, Dean, how does it feel?"

The boys laughed as Neville asked, "Who is it?"

Ron explained, "Well, Hermione told me and Harry, and she heard it from Parvati Patil, who heard it from her twin in Ravenclaw, who saw it with her own eyes, seeing as she's in the soccer junkie's dormitory."

"So who is it?"

Ron drew a blank. "Uhh…."

Dean interjected, "It's Lisa Turpin, you know, Padma's friend." This only drew raised eyebrows. "Average height, average stature, long brown hair." When none of this worked, Dean rolled his eyes and added, "Maybe like a size 36B bust."

Realization dawned on the shallow boys with that statement and the dormitory was filled with mutterings of "Oh yeah!" and "She's in our potion's class."

Ron closed his eyes for a few moments, as if the backs of his eyelids were mini-television screens. His eyes popped open and he added, "Not bad looking, if I do say so myself, although no one really beats Her - I mean…." Ron trailed off, looking sheepish, his entire freckled face maroon up to his flaming hairline.

They boys ignored the comment, and conversation turned to who was the best looking witch in the year. Pleased with the fact that the topic under discussion had taken a turn away from soccer, Dean contentedly finished unpacking and slid into bed. Sleep washed over him once the dormitory went silent some time later, and dreams of a thong-and-lace-bra-clad David Beckham playing soccer with the giant squid took over his mind.