Disclaimer: Nothing is mine

A/N: So… sorry I haven't been updating as frequently. I was going to write last night, but I was a little messed up from a party at my boyfriend's band space and I didn't want to write anything that I'd regret posting haha. But here's chapter 18 anyway. I'd also like to apologize for the spelling errors in the last chapter. The song is 'MakeDamnSure' by Taking Back Sunday.

Wild Pagan Heart by Cara Mascara

Chapter 18: You Are Everything I Want Cause You Are Everything I'm Not

I managed to pick the perfect time to leave Reid's room in the morning wearing nothing but one of Reid's not so oversized t-shirts and a pair of his boxer shorts. I had my dress bundled in my hands as I tried to avoid all the accusing eyes of the girls headed to the showers. Yup. Perfect timing on a Saturday. Ten was rush hour for the showers on the weekends. Guess what? It's five past. Damn it.

I slipped into my room, trying my best to ignore the whispers of 'notch in his bedpost' and 'slut' the whole way, but it's hard. Usually, I don't really care what people say or think. But when they're purposely 'whispering' it loud enough for me to hear, it's more then uncomfortable. Should I feel like a slut? He keeps coming back, so maybe not.

I went into my room cautiously, not sure if I was going to find Aaron and Kira screwing or something. Luckily, I came through the door just as Aaron seemed to be heading out. He scanned my outfit and just shook his head. "Long night?" he questioned with raised eyebrows.

"Jealous?" I asked back. He just smirked and shook his head again, walking past me and out the door. I looked to Kira and she just shrugged, obviously having the same idea I had and gathering her shower gear. I walked with Kira to the showers, talking about the dance. She isn't so bad when she's not being a bitch. Maybe she'll like me better now that I've sworn off Aaron.

I showered and dressed, then decided to walk around campus for a while. It was getting colder. Not too cold, but colder. The New England autumn was starting to take over the leaves on the trees. You've never experienced fall till you've seen the leaves change in New England. The colors are breathtaking. I was walking the path in the woods when my phone vibrated in my pocket. The path didn't go in very deep. Just around a small lake and back. It was nice and peaceful though. I pulled my phone out and looked at the ID. Mel.

"Hey" I answered the phone.

"Hey yourself. Where are you?"

"Walking around. Hey, how did last night go?"

"Amazing!" I laughed at her excitement.

"That's good to hear. Feel any different?" I asked my newly de-virginized friend.

"A little sore, but it was worth it."

"Yeah, that'll happen. Um, are you still with Tyler?"

"Yeah."

"Any word from Caleb?"

"Yeah he just called a few minutes ago actually. Putnam Barn went up in flames with Chase, but they couldn't find the body."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah… is that bad?"

"I don't know… what if he isn't… you know."

"I dunno… you guys are the experts, not me."

"Damn… that's gonna bug me now."

"Yeah… well miraculously Pogue and Kate have both been released from the hospital."

"Yeah? Guess the spells died with Chase… or whatever happened with him."

"Alright, well… I'm gonna go. I'll call you up later when I'm ready to get out of bed," Mel giggled. I just shook my head and smiled.

"Okay, talk to you later."

"Bye."

"Bye." I hung my phone up and shoved it back into my hoodie pocket. I sat myself on the rail of a bridge that passed over a stream of the water. My feet dangled a good two feet above the water. I swayed them back and forth, looking down into the still water at my reflection.

"Hey," a voice said from behind me.

"Fuck Reid! Don't scare me like that!" I said, whacking him in the chest. He flinched, but laughed at the same time.

"Like this?" he suggested, pretending to push me into the water. I gasped and grabbed onto him for dear life. He laughed and wrapped his arms tightly around me. "Don't worry. I wouldn't want you to get all wet… or would I?"

"Reid!" I exclaimed and wiggled out of his arms. He hopped over the rail and sat beside me. I looked back down at the water. Blonde hair, healthy skin, gorgeous. But it wasn't me. That was Reid. I looked at myself. Straight black hair, pale as a ghost skin, all black clothes. Lux is the Latin word for light. I'm anything but, unless you count my glow-in-the-dark skin. God, what happened to me?

-Flashback to Freshman Year-

"Hey," a male voice said from behind me as I sat on the rail of the bridge in the woods. I gasped and jumped, shocked by the sudden presence.

"Oh my god. Pogue, you scared me!" I said, looking to the handsome boy who climbed over the railing and sat beside me.

"Sorry," he apologized with a shrug. "Followed you out here."

"Stalker," I joked, shoving his shoulder.

"Shut up." I looked down at my reflection. Long wavy blonde hair, healthy fair skin, school uniform with everything neatly in place. I glanced a little to the left to see Pogue's reflection. Striking green eyes, long dusty brown hair and a… really weird look on his face.

"Something up?" I asked, tearing my eyes away from his reflection and looking at him.

"Yeah… actually I came out here to ask you… do you want to, you know… be my girlfriend or whatever?" I widened my eyes at him. I wanted to squeal and jump around. But I kept my cool.

"Of course! Yeah. That'd be-" He cut me of with a kiss.

-End Flashback-

"Hey I came out here to ask you-" Oh my god. This situation is all too familiar. Is he going to... "-if you wanna go grab some food from the caf or something." Never mind. Don't be so stupid Lux.

"Sounds… cool." Damn it. Disappointment was not supposed to be evident in my voice.

"Hey, don't sound so blue." Reid smirked and kissed me slowly. Something bad is happening. I'm falling for him… hard. "Let's go," he said, swinging his legs over the rail and getting down. I followed him and we headed to the cafeteria.

We ended up eating outside at one of the picnic tables. The courtyard was pretty much deserted. The whole school was pretty deserted on Saturdays. We were just eating, casually talking about nothing when Reid stood up. "Hey dude! Over here!" he waved at someone behind me. I turned and was instantly horrified as I saw Pogue kiss Kate quickly and come walking towards us while she headed for the dorms.

"Are you crazy!" I hissed t Reid.

"Listen baby, you're gonna have to face him sometime. He's like my brother," Reid said. Jesus. He's right. I find myself wanting to get more and more involved with Reid. I'll have to face Pogue one day. But this? Not like this!

I got an ache in my chest and the scarily familiar feeling of a heart palpitation coming on. I started feeling apprehensive suddenly. This isn't going to be good… at all.

"Hey man. Good to see you're better," Reid said to Pogue.

"Yeah. Uh, hey Lux," he said to me. I couldn't breathe. I started panting for air. And now I feel a wave of nausea approaching. "Hey, are you okay?" Pogue asked me. I shook my head no. "Oh, shit." He knew. I know he knew what was happening.

-Reid's POV-

"Don't touch me!" Lux yelled at me as I went to hold her.

"What?!" I asked, not knowing why she snapped like that.

"Please, please, please, please…" she repeated over and over again, throwing in a 'don't touch me' every once in a while.

"She needs her medicine dude," Pogue told me. I was still staring at Lux in shock. She was smoothing her hair continuously.

"What medicine?"

"She didn't tell you. Shit. Does she have a purse on her?" I shook my head no. "You don't have Mel's number, do you?"

"No man. She's probably with Ty-" I stopped mid-sentence when Lux sobbed loudly.

Pogue went over to her and kneeled in front of her. She was rocking herself back and forth, breathing deep and exhaling loudly. What the fuck is happening to her? "Lux. Where's your phone?" Pogue asked her.

"My-my-my-my-my-po-pocket" she stuttered. This is freaking me the fuck out.

"Can I have it?" he asked her slowly. She nodded. But she just kept nodding. She didn't make any move to get the phone. This is fucking ridiculous! I went up to her and snatched the phone out of her hoodie pocket. She freaked and screamed, making me jump back. But I got the phone, so whatever.

"Here," I said, tossing it to Pogue.

"Dude! Don't do that to her!" he yelled at me while he went trough her phonebook, finding Red's number and calling. He waited impatiently and tapped his foot waiting for the phone to be picked up. "Pickuppickuppickuppick- Mel!" I looked over at Lux and saw her now rubbing her jean- clad thighs roughly. "No, it's Pogue… I know… just-Mel! Stop! I need you to come to the courtyard and bring Lux's Klonopin. Yeah… okay. Hurry!" He shut the phone and went back over to Lux. "Hey, keep breathing, stop that Lux!" Pogue noticed as she tried to hold her breath.

"Tell me what the fuck is going on!" I demanded.

"She has anxiety."

"So… what's that mean?"

"You don't know what anxiety is?" He looked at me like I was a moron. I just shrugged. "Doesn't surprise me. You sleep through psych. It's when-" he stopped talking when Red ran over, a panicked look on her face.

"Shit, shit, shit. Lux, honey? I've got your pills," Mel said gently to her. She handed the pills to Lux and Tyler handed Lux a water bottle. With a shaky hand, Lux popped the pills into her mouth and took small sips of the water. I can't believe no one told me I was getting involved with a complete psycho.