Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: Thanks for reviews guys! Keep them coming! Te song for this chapter is 'Bittersweet' by Apocalyptica featuring Ville Valo and Lauri Ylonen.

Wild Pagan Heart by Cara Mascara

Chapter 19: I'm Only Wanting You

I stayed in my room alone the rest of the day. After my pills kicked in, I felt extremely tired and I just wanted to go to sleep. Reid didn't say anything to me. He just looked around awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck until I asked Mel to walk with me back to my room. That's it for me. All Reid needed was one reason to move on to the next girl in line, and this is a pretty good reason. Yeah Reid, sorry I forgot to mention I have serious anxiety attacks when I get scared and nervous enough and I need to take Klonopin to control them.

Around seven at night, there was a knock at my door. Figuring it was Kira I rolled out of bed and opened the door to find Pogue. My breath caught in my throat.

"Can I please come in?" he asked. I thought about it for a minute. Jeeze.

"I… uh… yeah." What am I doing?! He came in and I went back to my bed. I owe it to him to at least hear him out I guess since he helped earlier. I've avoided him for three years. "You can sit," I told him as he just stood there uncomfortably.

"Thanks uh…" He sat at the end of my bed and looked at me. "Look. I know you don't like me or whatever… but seriously… Lux, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say to you. I was a kid. I was stupid. I didn't know that getting… that done would mess you up that bad. If I could take it back," I sucked in a breath. "I would."

"You would?" I asked carefully.

"Yeah… I mean… even if we weren't together. I'd help you. I regret it," Pogue said, looking sincerely at me. "I just had to come make peace with you. I'll probably be seeing you a lot cause of Reid and I don't want you to run away every time you see me." I just nodded.

"I don't think you'll have to worry about me and Reid though. I think today was enough to turn him off."

"No. He likes you. Reid never goes out of his way to see girls the way he does with you. I've known him forever. Trust me on this one." I smiled softly at him, hoping he was right. "If he ditches you because of this, let me know and I'll kick his ass."

"I'll kick his ass," I joked. He chuckled slightly. "Speaking of ass kickings… I'm glad you're alright. You know… Chase and all."

"Yeah. I've been meaning to ask you about your powers actually. I can't believe we dated and we never knew. Small damn world, huh?"

"Yeah." I sat quietly looking down at my folded hands. "Why didn't you visit me in the hospital after… well… you know."

Pogue sighed and looked away from me and out the window, then back at me. "I wanted to but… Kate. She got really mad about it. I'm sorry."

"Oh…" That kind of hurt. But at least he wanted to come, right? "She doesn't know about the baby, does she?"

"No. No way. She'd dump in a heartbeat. I can't tell her." He looked really panicked.

"Okay, good." He relaxed again hearing that. I guess he thought I was going to try to get him to tell her. Fat chance. I don't want Kate to know. I don't want anyone to know.

"Are um… you thinking about telling Reid?" I shook my head viciously.

"No! Not yet anyway. I don't know. We'll see where it goes. There's no reason for us to tell anyone else and soil both of our reputations… well… yours anyway." I can't say I have much of a rep apart from 'weird girl' and 'girl who fucked Pogue, fucked Aaron and currently fucks Reid.' Wow… wouldn't my mother be proud?

"Well… I'm gonna head out. If you need anything… lemme know," Pogue said, standing up and heading for the door.

"Alright. And um… thanks for helping today… calling Mel and everything. I appreciate it."

"No problem. See ya," he said and walked out the door. That was less awkward then I'd expected it to be. I can forgive him. I think I really can.

I went into the cafeteria for breakfast the next morning, finding Mel, Tyler, Sarah, Kate and Reid all sitting together. Kate was there but… I'm going against my better judgment and sitting anyway. I wasn't really interested in eating anything but an orange, so I grabbed one and headed for the table.

"Hey," I said quietly, sitting between Mel and Sarah. Reid, who had been talking, rather loudly as I approached, immediately shut up upon seeing me. Great.

"Uh, I've gotta go take care of some… stuff," he muttered, getting up from the table and walking out of the cafeteria. I looked down at the table top, feeling a lump grow in my throat. I was right. We were done.

"Well… I could've told you that was gonna happen sweetheart," Kate rudely said. I looked up and saw Sarah and Tyler both give her a look.

"I'll talk to him," Tyler offered. I just shook my head.

"No… don't bother," I huffed, standing up and storming out of the cafeteria as well. If he was going to be like that, then fuck him. I never really liked him anyway…

I should've known. Nothing ever goes my way. It's like the whole fucking world is out to get me. Typical teenager mind set, right? Well for me, it seems almost true. First, Pogue doesn't want me, then Aaron betrays me for… god knows how long, and now Reid doesn't want me. My parents don't want me. Hell, Austin doesn't even want me anymore! Maybe I'm just an overdramatic teenage girl, or maybe the world really is out to get me. Who knows?

I went into the boarding house and up the stairs. Stomping up stairs is much more satisfying than riding in an elevator. I went to turn a corner, but stopped when I heard the familiar, flirtatious chuckle of Reid. I bet he's toying with his bottom lip right now.

"Well, if you decide you're interested… call me," a girl's voice said to him, sounding as though it was coming from someone with a hollow head by the way she giggled.

"Will do... uh…" This is priceless! Reid doesn't even remember this girl's name.

"Tanya," she informed him, not sounding as though she was bothered at all by the fact that he either A: didn't know her name or B: couldn't remember it.

"Tanya… right. Peace," he said. I heard the girl's heels tapping down the hall. Fuck this sucks. All I can feel is a rock in my stomach. Scratch that, a boulder.

I turned the corner. I had to walk right past him to get to my room. I didn't even look at him. He cursed under his breath. "Tell me you didn't just hear that?" I stopped and looked up at him.

"Doesn't matter. We aren't together or anything," I said, remembering he'd said the same thing to me when I told him I'd kissed Austin.

"Look, I-"

"Shut up Reid. I don't care. If you want to ignore me for something I can't control, then go ahead."

"Pogue was in your room yesterday," he said out of nowhere.

"Yeah, so? He just wanted to talk to me."

"About what?" Reid demanded, stepping close to me and folding his arms over his chest.

"Not that it's any of your business, but he came to settle our differences. He was just making things cool between us."

"Do you still want him?"

"What? No!" I can't believe he was even asking me that. He licked his lips and shifted his eyes before leaning forward, cupping my face and pulling me into a kiss. I pushed him back and frowned.

"No. You can't do that!" He just looked at me like I had seven heads. "You can't ignore me and flirt with another girl and expect me to be around when you want me around. I did that shit with Aaron. If you want to fuck me, you don't fuck anyone else."

"Alright princess, deal."

"I'm not going to be the girl who-" Wait a minute. "Did you just agree to that?" I had to ask because I think my ears may be deceiving me.

"Yeah. I won't touch another girl… as long as I can touch you anyway," he said huskily, nuzzling my neck.

"So that's it?" He nodded and I smiled. "What about my anxiety?"

"It freaked me out," he replied honestly.

"Yeah well, it doesn't happen often. Just when I freak out. I mean, I tried to tell you not to call Pogue over."

"It's cool… I just… wasn't prepared for that… at all. You really need to carry that Klonowhatever shit on you. If Pogue wasn't there, I'd have had no idea what the hell was going on."

"Sorry…" I looked down to the floor and he lifted my chin up.

"It's fine baby. Everything's fine," Reid said, kissing my forehead and then my lips. My heart was pounding. Fucking pounding! What the hell is happening?

-Slam- I groaned as my back hit the wall of Reid's room hard. He shut the door with his foot and I tightened my arms around his neck when he slipped his tongue past my lips. We'd almost hit my room, but when we went to open the door, we could hear Kira on the phone, so we'd headed as fast as we could to Reid's room. Tyler was still at breakfast, so it was empty.

First thing to come off was Reid's jacket. I slid it over his shoulders, down his arms and it fell into a lump on the floor. He managed to pull his own shirt up over his head. While he was doing that I was slipping my shoes off and taking off my hoodie at the same time. He took it upon himself to take my shirt off and add it to the pile of our clothes forming on the floor. He skillfully unclasped my bra from behind with one hand and let that slide into the mound of fabric a well. My pants. His pants. My panties. His boxers. Yep... no more clothes.

Reid's fingertips dug in and out of the skin on my hips, squeezing before he pushed his hips into mine, trapping me pretty successfully between him an the wall. He ran his hands up and down my back and thighs while he kissed me roughly before he took hold of my thighs and lifted me up so I had to wrap my legs around him. I moaned into his mouth as I felt his erection against my own burning desire.

He rocked his hips slightly, causing extremely pleasurable friction between the two of us. I couldn't hold back the second moan. I hate how he teases me. But I love it at the same time. Does that even make sense?

"Do you want me inside you?" he whispered in my ear after pulling away from the kiss. I nodded. "No, say it," he demanded. Oh great. Guess I'm the sub today.

"Yes," I growled into his ear, before I dipped my head and attacked his neck with my mouth. He didn't need me t say it again. He lifted me up a bit and positioned himself in the right spot before thrusting up and inside me. Never have I wanted sex from a guy so bad in my life. There was something… different about Reid. I'm not sure what it is, but I found myself thinking about him almost every hour of the damn day.

My back slid an inch or so up and down the wall with every thrust he made. I grabbed onto his shoulders tightly and pressed my chest flush against his. We were being loud. More than likely a little too loud.

About five minutes after that, I felt my climax coming on. Then a sensation I can't even justify with a description rushed through my body. It was like ten orgasms at once. I gasped as my walls tightened and muffled my screams with Reid's shoulder. "Use," he growled. I did what he wanted and a second later he spilled himself inside of me. I would've yelled at him about doing that, but I couldn't. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't even move.

He pulled back from me a bit and I managed to catch his eyes flashing from black to their cool blue. He stole my trick. He used to get me off. Reid pulled me over to his bed, both our legs very wobbly. Each of us nearly fell. He lay down and pulled a sheet over him, which I crawled under as well. "You used?" I asked, even though that's obviously what he did. He was starting to worry me. I mean, every time since I've done it he's wanted me to use when we have sex. I'm worried about addiction… for both of us.

"I wanted to see what would happen," he said with a smirk. "You like it?"

"Yeah but… don't ever do that to a normal girl. It'll kill her!" I joked. It's probably true. That was the most intense orgasm ever.

A/N: So I've decided the next story I'm going to post on this site will be my revised version of 'This Photograph Is Proof' which is a Lords of Dogtown story I started after the movie came out. If you haven't seen the movie, I suggest you watch it because it's awesome… and the boys are hot… especially Jay. You'll come to realize I only write OC stories. So this story will be a Jay/OC story. I let you know when I've posted chapter one. I'm also debating weather or not to write a sequal to this story. I already know what's going to happen except for at the end. So you tell me, should I make a sequal or just end it all in one story?