Disclaimer: The Covenant boys are not mine… yet… mwhahaha!
A/N: So this is chapter 23. I can't believe I've written this much of this story already. It might run a few chapters longer then I expected. I was thinking there would only be about 7 more chapters after this one, but I might end up needing more. We'll see I guess. So here you go. The song is 'Imaginary' by Evanescence (the version from their Fallen CD cause the other one kind of blows. It should start out with violins. If it doesn't it's the bad version).
Wild Pagan Heart by Cara Mascara
Chapter 23: I Built My Own World To Escape
I rolled out of my bed the next morning, grabbing some clean clothes and making my way into the shower. Once I'd finished I dressed and made my way into the kitchen, peeking into the living room. I laughed to myself, seeing that Dee and Pogue had fallen asleep in sitting p positions watching TV, which had switched from its horror marathon to reruns of Little House on the Prairie.
I got into the kitchen and started making pancakes for everyone. Soon enough, as if I'd tang a cowbell or something, everyone emerged from where they'd been sleeping, half awake, noses in the air following the aroma of food. I sat plates, syrup and a jug of orange juice with cups on the table. Everyone sat around the table, waiting for the huge stack of pancakes I had on a serving plate. "Good morning," I announced in a cheery tone, placing the plate in the middle of the table and dropping a pile of utensils next to it. There was a mad rush for the food as I went back to the kitchen, grabbing the pan of baked bacon from the oven. I placed it on a paper towel, going around the table and giving everyone four pieces of the pork product before sitting down myself, taking the final two pancakes and eating.
We all made small talk over breakfast. It was more than obvious Pogue, Reid and Deanna we not morning people at all by the way they looked ready to fall asleep at the table. After breakfast, everyone began getting dressed, ready to head back to Ipswich. I could hear my cell phone ringing from the kitchen and rushed into my room to answer it.
"Hello?" I said, without even checking the ID.
"Hi, Lux? This is Maria, from Dr. Chaucer's office. I just wanted to confirm your appointment for today and three o'clock?" a Hispanic accented woman said from the other end. Oh shit, I forgot all about that.
"Yeah, I'll be there. Thanks for reminding me,' I chucked into the phone. "And Maria, could you let her know, I might bring that guest she's been bugging me about?"
"No problem. I'll let Dr. Chaucer know. Have a nice day."
"Bye," I said hanging up. I turned to find a fully dressed Reid leaning against the doorframe.
"Bring a guest where?" he asked, casually pushing himself off the frame and walking over to sit on my bed. I sat beside him and played with the small cell phone in my hands, avoiding his eyes.
"Reid, if I bring you somewhere, do you promise not to judge me or freak out?" I asked him.
"I think we're a little past the judgment point, don't you?" he smirked. I looked into his eyes, seriousness evident. His smirk faltered. "Yeah, I promise."
"Okay, let me send them off then. We have to go into Boston," I said, standing up and walking into the living room where everyone was hanging around. "Hey guys, Reid and I are gonna stay behind, alright?" I asked.
"Sure, whatever. See ya," Mel said, walking downstairs and everyone following after her. Once they'd pulled out of the driveway I went into my room to fetch Reid, who was sprawled out on my bed, face buried in all my pillows.
"Ready?" I asked, poking him. He sat up and nodded, getting off my bed and following me outside. I locked my house up and got into the car.
"So where're we going?" he questioned as we pulled out of the driveway.
"You'll see." Almost an hour later I pulled into the parking lot of a welcoming looking white building.
"Arbour Hospital?" Reid questioned, looking at me with a furrowed brow.
-Flashback to Summer After Freshman Year-
"Checks," Andrea said, poking her head into my room and looking at Myra and I, before smiling and leaving the room, closing the door behind her. I sighed in relief.
"That was close," Myra said, pulling her knitting out from under her pillow. I smiled and leaned back on my bed, relaxing, only for now because I knew Andrea would be back to do another check in fifteen minutes. I'd gotten those knitting needles and the yarn for Myra. I had snuck off last time we went into town and bought the needles for her, hiding them in a notebook in my messenger bag. He yarn I stole from the head nurse LeAnn when she wasn't paying attention at night when she knit.
Myra knit the purple yarn furiously. I'm not even sure what she was knitting. Hell, she probably didn't know. It didn't matter, as long as she was keeping herself occupied.
"We have group today, you know," I said out of nowhere. Myra didn't even look up from her knitting.
"I know. I hate group. I hate group…" she just kept muttering that over and over again to herself more then me. I sighed. I know why she hates group. Tanya.
Tanya is mean, to be quite general. Always needing to be in control. It's because she got raped by her stepfather over and over again. That's what I heard anyway. She's an uber dyke too. She's tall and built, like an Amazon.
She was particularly awful to Myra, calling her all sorts of nasty names. Using the 'n-word' was her favorite thing though. That got Myra in a fuss. She'd claw at her skin til it bled or she was restrained, saying he was ugly, calling herself the racist word. Truth be told, she was gorgeous. Smooth brown skin, green eyes and thick, curly hair. There was nothing wrong with the way she looked at all. You can't get through to people like her though. People like us.
I tried to tell her that Tanya didn't mean it, she was just fucked up in the head. I even tried convincing her that Tanya only did that cause she secretly liked her. But I knew it was bullshit. Tanya liked me. And that's why she was mean to Myra. Myra was always trailing behind me. She shared a room with me, sat with me at meals and would do basically anything I did. At least as much as she could get away with.
"Checks" Andrea popped her head back inside. I gasped and shot up out of bed as Andrea's eyes widened. "LeAnn!" she yelled into the hallway, then made her way into the room.
LeAnn rushed into the room seconds later, approaching my meak friend as she continued knitting, tears now streaming down her cheeks at being caught. "Myra, give me those," she demanded the knitting needles. Myra shook her head and continued to knit, sobbing. "Now Myra."
"Leave her!" I yelled at the head nurse. She wasn't doing anything, just knitting. She was fine. I was watching her.
"Lux, you be quiet... Myra, if you don't give me those I'll take them," LeAnn threatened. Myra shook her head again. "Fine," The bulky woman said, grabbing Myra by the arms. Myra screamed bloody murder, still trying to knit. "Andrea, get them."
The young blonde nurse rushed forward, prying the knitting from Myra's hands. "No! Stop it!" I yelled, trying to wrestle the knitting from Andrea.
"Lux, you stop now!" LeAnn demanded, releasing the convulsing Myra, who was absolutely freaking out. I began to panic, anxiety quickly taking over. I screamed as loud as I could over and over again when LeAnn grabbed me, holding my arms behind my back. Two of the male nurses ran in, a restraint jacket in their hands.
I flailed as they tried to put it on me. Between the two men and LeAnn, they strapped me in, dragging me down the hall. All the girls in the hall had emerged from wherever they were, watching as I was being brought kicking, screaming and crying down the hall, trying to get out of the grasp of the two male nurses. It was getting harder for me to breath with my anxiety though.
"Put her in solitary! Andrea, get her anxiety pills!" LeAnn yelled. Upon hearing solitary, I began to get even more hysterical. I began coughing violently due to the shortness of my breathing. The men sat me down in solitary and LeAnn ran in with pills and a cup of water. She held my head still and my mouth open, dropping the pills and water down my throat. I choked initially, but recovered from choking as Le Ann patted my back.
"Watch her till she calms down. Then you can leave her in here. Make sure you lock it," she instructed one of the male nurses, who everyone called Carter. I'm pretty sure it's his last name, not his first, but you never know.
Once my breath was caught and my anxiety had died down I huffed, looking around the horrible room. It was small, had dusty padded walls and smelled like old coffee and the dentist.
"I hate this place," I mumbled. "I hate you LeAnn you fucking fat cunt!" I screamed, hoping she heard me through the door. I wiggled in the restraining jacket. Fuck it! Straightjacket. That's what it is. They just didn't call it that so we didn't feel crazy. Even though we all are. I panted, looking around the room once again. My eyes fell on Carter, standing by the door, looking a little uneasy. "Hey Carter," I said in a husky voice, a smirk gracing my lips. "Why don't you let me outta here and I'll make if worth your while, huh?" I offered.
He was cute. Very cute. He had such dark brown hair that it looked black. It was in messy dreads with beads thrown around, always tied in a low ponytail to keep it out of his face. He was only about twenty. He was uptight though. All he cared about was doing a good job at work as far as I could tell. He always had a serious face on. He hardly ever cracked a smile. He was a real pushover too. Let all his co-workers order him around.
This, this was priceless! Wait till I tell the other girls about this one. He was thinking about my proposal! It's not that I wouldn't do it or anything, it's just that it is quite unprofessional to even ponder something like that. As if suddenly realizing this, he shook his head. "No way Lux. I'm not getting fired for a pretty face. Sorry," he said, opening the door to the solitary room and shutting it. I heard the keys jingle in the lock and I cried out in frustration. I spent the first half hour of my time in solitary screeching at the top of my lungs, trying my hardest to get the jackets straps undone but to no avail. Every once in a while I'd hear one of the nurses yell at one of the girls to 'get away'. No doubt they were waiting in front of the solitary door. Not that I could see since there was no fucking windows! I suddenly began feeling very claustrophobic and huddled myself into the corner, feeling a small anxiety attack coming on.
I closed my eyes. I wasn't really here. I was… somewhere else. Somewhere beautiful. It smelled like lilacs and locust trees. The sun made my skin warm. I wasn't wearing shoes. I love the way grass feels under my feet. I could see the sky, full of clouds. Gorgeous clouds that I tried to reach up and touch, even though I could never, ever touch them. Ever. Everything was beautiful. Peaceful. Perfect.
"You ready to behave now, Lux? You have group therapy in half an hour."
-End Flashback-
"Hey, you alright?" Reid asked, waving a hand in front of my face as I stared at the familiar building. Gardens surrounded it. They were mostly dead now though. It looked friendly and inviting from the outside. It felt like anything but though when you were trapped inside.
"Yeah, fine. What'd you say?" I asked as I dug through my glove compartment, taking out a pillbox and taking some Klonoipn. Reid watched as I popped the pill into my mouth and took the bottle of water from my cup holder, taking one big swig and washing the medication down.
"I uh… asked what…. I mean, why we were here?" he said unsurely watching me. I made eye contact with him, noticing him glance at the pillbox. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Just for safety measures. I'm fine," I said in an upbeat tone, smiling his way as I threw the pills back in my bag. "Can you just come in, and I'll explain everything, I promise." Well, almost everything.
"Isn't this a, you know… a mental institution?" he asked awkwardly.
"Yeah Reid… yeah it is."
A/N: I just want to make it clear that I in NO WAY condone the use of the n word at all. Or any other racist words for that matter. It's not meant to offend, just to make a point as to how mean this girl is. And I use the word dyke, I'm not homophobic in any way, shape or form. I'm bisexual, so Id hope not at least. Haha. Anyway, what did you think? Oh and there's a picture of Carter in my profile. He's hot haha. And if you're confused by the flashback, it'll be a little easier to understand in the next chapter.