Chione: wow, another chapter up already, yay!
Yami and Bakura: -glare at Chione-
Chione: o.O what?
Bakura: you made me put T-t- damn, I can't even say it!
Chione: Tampons…
Bakura and Yami: -twitch- yes…
Bakura: anyway, you made me those things in my nose! I feel so… violated!
Chione: wow, now you know how many of the rest of us feel in your presence.
Bakura: o.O huh?
Chione: never mind. Time for the disclaimer! Kuriboh, you do it! -throws Kuriboh to center stage. Where a stage came from, I don't know…-
Kuriboh: well, we all already know Chione doesn't own Yugioh, but she doesn't own anything to do with Star Wars, Twinkies, Rocky Road ice cream, Slurpees, OR Agent Smith from the Matrix.
Bakura: who would WANT to own him? He gave me nightmares…
Everyone: o.O
Bakura: o.O uh… I mean, he gave Chione's brother nightmares!
Chione: it's funny 'cause it's true…
"Helloooooooooooooooooo!"
Everyone in the apartment stopped what they were doing.
It had been a day since the incident with Serenity and Valon, and the lesser known incident of Yami, Bakura, Kuriboh, and the "packages".
Before the strange voice had interrupted them, Yugi and Tea had been attempting to coax Joey out of his room (where he had been since the pervious day), Tristan and Duke were educating Kuriboh in the industry of "pornography", and Marik was trying to find a new place to hide the coffee grounds from the little monster. Kaiba was gone to visit his brother, and Rebecca, Yami and Bakura had gone out to fetch "comfort food" for Joey, though that was an hour ago and still they hadn't returned…
But all that was shattered the moment the moment the strange voice came through the door. And before anyone could reply, the door sprang open and in stepped a cloaked figure, breathing heavily.
When it spoke, it was with a raspy voice. "Yugi…"
"Yes…?" The young man's eyes were wide as he stepped closer to the door. "I'm Yugi. What do you want?"
"Yugi…" Again, its voice was in rasps. "I am your father."
"What!" Everyone cried at once.
"D-dad…?" The news seemed to hit Yugi hard. His eyes were big a saucers, and his lip began to tremble. Then, before any could react, the short youth had thrown himself at the cloaked figure and was sobbing into his robes.
"Daddy! I thought you'd never come back! You went to the store, and Grandpa said you got stuck in a robbery, and that you would listen to any of them, so the robber shot you in the leg! But you didn't quiet down, you kept on ranting, and the robber shot you in the heart! And even then you wouldn't die, and it took three more shots to the chest and two to the head before you finally died!"
At this point everyone in the room was exchanging glances. Yugi didn't seem to take notice, he just charged on with his ranting.
"But I didn't believe Grandpa one bit! He always makes up stories. Like how mommy left. Gramps said she ran off to fulfill her dream of being an exotic dancer! But I knew mommy would never do that! I knew she went out to find you! And now you're here, so mommy will come back soon too! And then-"
"Ok, this has gone on quiet long enough." The cloaked figured said as it tried squirming out of Yugi's arms. "Yugi, it was only a joke. I am not your father."
"Liar!" Yugi cried, holding on tighter. "Don't lie to me! I recognize your voice, you are my daddy, and you've come back to me!"
"I am not your father! Now get off!" The cloaked figure tried with all its might to fight Yugi off, but the spiky haired male just clasped onto his leg and refused to let go.
"I won't let you leave me again!"
The cloaked person gave an aggravated sigh and pulled back his hood to reveal-
DARTZ!
Everyone in the room let out a large gasp and Yugi stared up at his professor in disbelief.
"Dartz! You're my daddy?"
At this Duke cringed. "Yugi… NEVER say that ever again!"
"Why- oh never mind." Yugi mumbled back.
"Yugi…" Dartz looked down at him. "You are still attached to my leg."
"Oh! Of course!" He jumped up with a red face, obviously embarrassed.
"You know…" Tristan was saying, more to himself than to anyone else. "Dartz could be Yugi's dad. I mean, they have the same bangs…"
Everyone just stared at Tristan. "What do bangs have to do with anything?" Teas asked.
Tristan looked down at his feet. "I tried…"
"But wait a second," Duke added, thinking for a moment. "Dartz isn't the one who said "hello" before, which made us all freeze in fear. That voice was more high in pitch, and a bit creepy. I know it, but I just can't remember who the voice belongs to…"
Everyone murmured an agreement, and sat down to ponder who the owner of the first mysterious voice could be.
"I know who it is!" Joey cried as he leapt from his room in nothing by boxers and a bow in his hair.
"Joey, why do you have a bow in your hair?" Tea asked.
The blonde ripped the bow from his head and retorted with, "That doesn't matter, because I know who the voice belongs to! It's-"
"Me!" And Pegasus jumped through the door hold gift baskets for everyone!
"Way to steal my thunder…" Joey mumbled with a sour look.
"Oh, I'm sorry Joey!" Pegasus said with a deep look of regret. "Have a gift basket!" And he began to prance around handing out his gift baskets.
"For Yugi, and Ryou, and Tea, and Tristan, and Duke, and Kuriboh, and-" When he came to Marik he let out a very girly scream and dropped his basket.
"What, what is it!" Everyone cried together and looked at Pegasus.
The silver haired young man (that's right! Pegasus isn't an old man! He's really only in his late twenties/early thirties! In your face, 4Kids!) pointed an accusing finger at Marik and said in a dark tone, "You…"
Everyone else looked around questioningly, so Pegasus continued with the dramatics.
"What are you doing here?" He demanded. "I never thought I'd run into the likes of you ever again!"
"Marik, what's he talking about?" Tristan asked.
The other young man had a confused look on his face. "I really have no idea!"
"You mean to tell me you don't remember!" Pegasus asked, taken aback.
"No, I don't."
"Well," He was highly insulted. Pegasus turned to the others to tell a grand ol' story. "This is the young man that broke into my wonderful mansion sucked on my prized Twinkie!"
Everyone made a face, because they all have VERY sick minds. Obviously Pegasus did not, so he continued with his tail.
"He just sat in my kitchen and sucked on my Twinkie all night! And then he just left without so much as an explanation! And from then on he'd always just come into my house, suck on my Twinkies, then leave before morning came! The shame of him!"
By then everyone was rolling around on the ground either laughing or extremely sickened because they had overactive imaginations and had received horrible visuals to go with the tale. The only ones who didn't get it were Pegasus, Dartz and Kuriboh, so these three were left to watch the others and ponder what was going on.
"It's not funny!" Pegasus snapped at them all. "Marik violated my Twinkie!"
"I really do not understand what is so humorous…" Dartz whispered.
"I have a question!" Kuriboh piped. The two that were not on the floor turned to him. "Why is it that the main villains of Yugioh have such funny hair? I mean, Pegasus has silver hair, and Dartz, your hair is aqua, then Bakura's is white, and Marik's is what? Sandy? And that Zigfried's is pink! And they're all long. What's up with that?"
Pegasus and Dartz just exchanged confused looks. "Wha-?"
But Kuriboh was still going. "And why is that everyone who writes a Yugioh fiction just call Yugi's Grandpa "Grandpa". I mean, he does have a name, even in the dubbed version! His dubbed name is "Solomon Motou", so why do people keep putting in stories and on websites that his grandpa doesn't have a name! I-CAN'T-TAKE-IT-ANYMORE!" And he exploded, which caused everyone to stop laughing and dive for cover for fear of terrorists.
There was a knock on the door then. Yugi, who was closest to the door, kicked the unconscious Kuriboh under the couch and opened the door.
"Are you Yugi Motou?" The man at the door was big and bulky and wore a suit and sunglasses. It seemed he didn't have the ability to smile. And the earpiece in his ear made Yugi a bit uneasy.
"Uh… yeah, yeah I'm him."
The man barged into the room, followed by many others that looked exactly like him! They all pinned the gang down and began to erase their memories because they're not suppose to know they're part of a television show…
Once they were done getting rid of the memory of Kuriboh's out burst, and they replaced Kuriboh with another Kuriboh named Billy-Bob Anastasia Jefferson Kuriboh the II, or Kuriboh for short, who looked exactly like Henry Austin Paul Kuriboh the VIII, who was also just Kuriboh for short (I like toying with your guys' minds), the weird umptumplets that all looked and sounded and acted alike, all gathered in a huddle in the middle of the room.
"Wow, that last sentence was a dozy…" One of them mumbled.
"Be quiet, Smith 183756!" Another snapped, hitting the out spoken one. "Now that their memories are drained, we must get out of here before they wake up!"
"Hey, that wasn't 183756! That was me!" Yet another said. "Can't you tell us apart, 1?"
1 just sighed. "Sorry, 739." Then he went and hit the real Smith 183756. "Stop speaking out of turn.
"But I want ice cream…" 183756 whined.
"Fine." Smith 1 told him. "We'll get ice cream."
"Rocky road?"
"No, that makes you to hyper."
183756 stomped his feet on the ground. "I WANT ROCKY ROAD!"
"If you're going to be like that, then you're not getting ice cream!"
"What's all the yelling for?" Yugi sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes. He then saw all the Smiths. "HEY! WHO THE HELL ARE-" But Smith 739 had grabbed chloroform, poured some on a cloth, and stuck it to Yugi's nose, making him go out again.
So, the Smiths had to do this to all the members of the gang and reerase their memories. When they were almost finished another stranger walked into the room, very irritated.
"What the heck is taking so long?" She asked, staring at them all. "I give you a simple task to make sure they don't know they're really just an anime and a manga, but NO, you have to take forever to do it!"
"We're sorry, Chione." Smith 1 said. "Things got complicated."
"What have I told you to call me?"
All the Smiths looked down at the ground. "Nisu Chione…"
"And I don't see you groveling!"
"Sorry, Nisu Chione…" They all got down on their knees and bowed to- ME!
"Just get out of here." Chione commanded, and grabbed a fly swatter and began to hit the Smiths if they didn't move fast enough. Then, before she left, she huggled the unconscious Marik, Joey, Ryou and Duke, then ran away to the Realm of Craziness. Also know as- real life.
After a half hour or so (Smith 739 used A LOT of chloroform on them), the gang woke up as if nothing had happened, and took up the conversation they had been at before they were rudely interrupted.
"So, why are you and Dartz here?" Yugi finally asked. He had remembered what he was laughing so hysterically about (Marik violating Pegasus' Twinkie) and was wondering why two of his professors were at his apartment.
"Well, remember what I said the first day of classes?" Dartz asked.
Yugi slowly shook his head.
"I said we should have tea together." Dartz explained. "So, Pegasus and I are inviting you to our tea party!" He gave Yugi and Joey invitations.
"What about the rest of us?" Tristan asked, pouting.
Pegasus patted his head. "Oh, we would love for you all to come, Tristan. But we only invited Yugi and Joey because the rest of you are insignificant peasants."
"Peasants?" Tea asked. "I'll have you know that-"
"Did I say peasants? Oh, what I meant was poor people with no style…" As he said the last part he lifted up Duke's ponytail and let if fall again with a look of distaste on his face.
"Yes, we have no place for "non-Duelists" at the party. Sorry." Dartz added.
"I'm a Duelist." Marik piped.
"Yes, but you're not allowed because you violated my Twinkie!"
"Sorry, dear boy." Dartz said, patting Marik sympathetically on the shoulder. He then realized that he held one more invitation. "Oh, Pegasus, it seems we have one more."
"Who's it for?" Tea, Ryou, Tristan, Duke, and Kuriboh asked, anxious.
"That must be Kaiba-boy's." Pegasus told him. He looked the apartment. "Where is that gorgeous, gorgeous man? I'd like to molest him…" When he noticed the looks from the others in the room he smiled. "I'm kidding, kidding!" But that still didn't make them any more comfortable.
"Well, you two," Dartz pointed to Yugi and Joey. "Had better come to the tea party, and bring Kaiba as well." Him and Pegasus went into the hall, and they both looked at something that seemed to be happening at the other end.
"Oh, and Yugi," Pegasus popped his head back into the apartment. "It seems your yami is loose, along with Ryou's, and they seem to have discovered Slurpees…"
Yugi and Ryou's eyes opened wide. "WHAT!" Together they ran into the hall and tried to catch Yami and Bakura who were spinning around in circles due to sugar overload, and Rebecca was trying to control them.
"Yugi!" She cried, latching onto him. "They've been like this for hours! I couldn't stop them, they were just too hyper! Finally, they just started spinning in circles and I had to push them along with a stick! I thought I'd never make it back!"
"It's ok, Rebecca." Yugi told her. "You did good. Let's just get them inside before anyone sees." Yugi and Rebecca grabbed onto Yami's arms, while Rebecca grabbed another of Bakura's and Ryou managed to get a hold on the thief's other. They pulled them into the apartment, where Dartz and Pegasus still were, laughing at the yamis.
"I never knew your other halves were free!" Pegasus said cheerfully as he skipped out of the room for a second time. "They seem like fun, bring them along with you to the party! And Ryou, you can come to now, just bring Bakura with you!" And he blew a kiss to them all and was gone.
Dartz sighed. "Why I became his friend, I'm not exactly sure…" He waved to the others and disappeared as well, leaving the gang to go back to their business.