Disclaimer: Reid isn't mine… very sadly… neither is anything else.

A/N: The song is 'Lose You Tonight' by HIM. Thanks for the reviews. I got a great response for the last chapter!

Wild Pagan Heart by Cara Mascara

Chapter 27: I'm Not Gonna Lose You Tonight

-Reid's POV-

I couldn't look away. All I could see was the blood on Mel's hands. It wasn't hers though. It was the girl lying on the cement, more of the crimson life spilling onto the ground near her head. It dripped out slowly, but still, it was leaking out.

"Hey! Reid! Reid!" Tyler snapped me out of it. "Call fucking 911!" he yelled at me, leaning down to the unconscious girl.

"What happened?" I asked. I needed to know as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I dialed the three digit emergency line and sent the call.

"She passed out," Mel cried, in hysterics. "She was having an attack. But I couldn't find her pills. She stopped breathing! I couldn't hold her up when she fell! She was dead weight!" Tyler comforted his girlfriend, not willing to touch the collapsed Lux. She stopped breathing?! Is she even fucking breathing now! They're so stupid, they didn't even check.

"You call!" I snapped at Tyler and thrust my phone to him. I kneeled down in beside Lux. In the parking lot's lamps I could see the light shade of blue her face had turned. She wasn't fucking breathing.

"Hold her head," I ordered Mel as I tilted it back. Her quivering hands dug into Lux's raven hair and held her head at the tilted position. This has to be the scariest experience of my life. A voice inside my head kept saying, 'she might die'. But she cant fucking die. She just… can't.

I could hear Tyler talking to the 911 operator. "Is she breathing? I don't know! Reid!" Tyler was panicking.

"No," is all I said before trying CPR. I've never been so glad to be a swimmer in my life. It wasn't working though. She wasn't breathing. She was just lying there… dead. She's fucking dead.

"What are you doing? Don't stop!" Mel rushed. "She'll die!"

"Too late," I said coldly, standing up. "Fuck!" I yelled, punching the brick wall of Nicky's. That was a dumb move. Now my fucking hand was bleeding and it hurt like a bitch. I wasn't going to let them see the tears that were rolling down my cheeks though. I leaned my forehead on the wall, trying to shield my face. Tyler had disappeared into Nicky's.

"Don't be stupid! She has a pulse Reid! She isn't dead! How can you jus-" Mel was silenced by the wailing sirens that pulled up next to us. Caleb, Pogue and Sarah all came out behind Tyler. Sarah immediately burst into tears as the EMT's got out of the ambulance and rushed over to Lux. This isn't happening.

"Miss, can you come talk to me please," an officer asked Mel. She sniffled, nodded and got up from the ground, stepping away from Lux's unmoving body while the EMT's put an oxygen mask over her face. Jesus fucking Christ, I can't watch this.

I walked over to my friends, who had all positioned themselves close to Mel in order to hear what had happened. A lot of people, including Nicky, had come out of the small bar and were watching in shock as they worked on Lux, trying to get her to breathe.

"She's breathing! Get her in!" One of the EMT'S called and they placed her on a stretcher. The ambulance doors slammed.

"Listen, you can follow us to the hospital. We're going to take her into the ER. It looks like it's going to be a concussion and she'll need stitches, but she should be fine. I'm going to need someone to have her parents come-"

"They live in Salem. She boards at Spenser." I said. I rubbed the back of my neck. "Are you sure she's going to be okay?" I asked.

"You the boyfriend?" he asked. I paused for a minute.

"Yeah… I am."

"Alright, well you can ride in the ambulance," he said, opening the back door. I climbed in, not liking what I saw. She was still out like a light, but her face was losing the blue-ish color it had previously held and she was most certainly breathing now. I sat down and watched intently as they stuck an IV in her. Then it hit me. This is my fucking fault.

"Any word?" Pogue asked, walking into the waiting room and sitting next to me. I just shook my head, slouched over in the chair with my forearms slung over my knees and my hands dangling between them. I stared at the floor. There's no word that can describe what I feel like right now better then shit. I wanted to go outside and have a cigarette so bad right now, but I was afraid if I left maybe something horrible will happen and I won't be there when the doctors come to tell me.

"Where's everyone else?" I muttered, finally looking up from the floor and noticing Pogue was the only one here.

"Well, Mel's outside with Tyler calling Lux's parents and grandmother. And Caleb and Sarah should be here in a minute."

"Dude… I feel like shit," I admitted to Pogue.

"Why, it's not your fau-"

"Yeah, it is! Mel said she had an anxiety attack and couldn't find her pills. This happened minutes after I… broke things off with her."

"You what?!" Pogue looked irate and a few people waiting in the emergency room lobby looked at him strangely. "Are you crazy? What's wrong with her? She's perfect for you!" he hissed in a whisper.

"I know. That's the problem."

"Now, could you tell me if she's on any medication?" Dr. Shepard asked Lux's grandmother. She was fine. She just had a concussion and stitches, like the EMT's had said. They wanted her to stay overnight, but she'd be able to leave tomorrow. She was going to be fatigued and the doctor recommended she take a few days off from school, but all in all she was fine. She had a severe anxiety attack and the doctor said even if she had her pills, she probably still would've needed to go to the hospital.

"Thank you so much for riding in the ambulance with her Reid," her grandmother said once the doctor jotted some things down and disappeared back the hall. She came as fast as should, bringing Dee with her. I saw Pogue whispering things to Dee, the two looking up at me every once in a while. Fuckers.

"Yeah… no problem." If only she knew it was my fault.

"You can go in and see her now," a nurse said

-Lux's POV-

"Oh sweetheart, how are you feeling?" my grandma asked as she walked into my hospital room, closely followed by Dee and Mel.

"Sore. My head really hurts. That's never happened before. I've never gotten an anxiety attack so bad that it made me pass out," I said, my voice raspy.

"I'm just glad you're okay. You scared me so bad…" Mel said, shaking her head and sitting in the chair next to me.

"My girl's tough." Dee smirked after she said this.

"Well Lux, I need to be home sometime tonight. I'll be back in the morning though if you'd like to come home for a few days," my grandma said and I smiled at her.

"I'll be fine grandma. I'm just going to go back to school and take it easy. I promise."

"Alright dear, goodbye." She kissed me on the forehead and left the room, Dee giving me a short wave and following.

"I better get going too. It's really late. I'll come pick you up tomorrow if you want?" Mel offered.

"Yeah, that'd be awesome. Where's my car?" I asked, wondering if it was sill at Nicky's. I wanted to ask, where's Reid, but I was too afraid to. Afraid of what the answer might be.

"Still at Nicky's. I can go get it if you'd like. I'll just have Tyler run by Nicky's and I'll drive it back to school."

"Please? That would be amazing," I said drowsily. I was on some heavy medication for the pain in my head.

"Well, I'll see you hun. Want me to send the guys away and let you get some sleep?" she asked, noticing how exhausted I seemed.

"Yeah please. Tell them I appreciate them coming, but I'm just so tired…"

"Gotcha hun. Bye." Mel walked out the door. I got as comfortable as I could in the lumpy hospital bed with an IV sticking in me and closed my eyes. It was short-lived as the door opened again.

"Knock, knock," Reid announced as he walked through the door, closing it behind him. Mt whole body tensed and my eyes shot open. I didn't forget what had happened before the attack... what had most likely caused it. I made a fool out of myself. I fell in love with someone who I know can't love me back, just because of who he is. And I went and told him right after he decided he didn't want to date me anymore. "So uh… how are you feeling?"

"Well, my head was a little split open, and I couldn't breathe for a while, but the meds cancel out most of the pain," I joked, looking down at my fidgeting hands on my lap.

"Look I-"

"You don't need to explain anything to me Reid. I understand. I should've known better, right? I knew you'd get bored. It was only a matter of time. I'll get over it."

"Okay… I was actually going to say that I was… sorry." I looked up at Reid's face for the first time, staring into his eyes. He sighed and sat in the bedside chair. "I know… I was an asshole."

I resisted the urge t agree with him. "Look, you don't have to do this because you feel bad or whatever."

"I'm not. Do you honestly think I'm the kind of gy that does things out of pity?" Point made.

"Why did you say I… ruined everything? When I… you know…" I was afraid to say it again.

"Because… I was trying to… push you away from me. I'm not used to giving a shit about anyone but my brothers and me, you know? First I date you, which I never do, and then you go and say… that. No one's ever said that to me before. It scared the shit out of me."

"Well… sorry." What the hell else was I supposed to say? I couldn't very well take it back now.

"Don't be sorry. Just… did you mean it?"

"Yeah… I did."

"Wow…" Silence.

"So… where does that leave us…?" I really had no idea.

"Well…"

"No Reid, you either want to be with me or you don't. You shouldn't have to think about it."

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, brushing his hair back only to have it fall back messily in his face. "I do okay? I just… I'm not used to… feeling and stuff." I laughed. "Shut up."

"Sorry."

"You wanna know something?" he asked, an unusually serious tone to his voice.

"What?"

"When I saw your blood on Mel's hands… I've never been so fucking scared in my life. I thought you… died."

"Why?" I asked, wondering exactly what had happened.

"You weren't breathing and I tried to give you stupid CPR, but it wasn't working. If the ambulance didn't come…"

"You need a healing spellbook… badly," I said, shaking my head with a slight chuckle.

"I'm glad… you're… you know… okay." He leaned forward and kissed me slowly, before pulling away. I don't know how long he stayed after that. I fell asleep while we were watching a movie on the TV. Did I actually make Reid Garwin feel… something besides physical pleasure for a girl?