"Okay, so like I told Clark earlier today, I found out that Lex is currently in Honduras for Luthor-business-y something or other. He's not scheduled to be back for another two weeks," Chloe informed as she zipped around ten webpages in a matter of seconds.
Lana sighed from her place on the couch with realization. "Then Lex won't be able to help us. If we can't contact him and he's not returning anytime soon, we don't have a chance at standing up to Lionel or Whitney. We could end up hiding for months."
Chloe furrowed her eyebrows. "Actually, we don't need to waste time trying to find a way to reach Lex. Clark can just – "
"Uhh, Chloe could you help me in the kitchen. I want to make some coffee and I'm not sure how your machine works. Lana you want some?" I kept my face as innocent and rational as I could (although my voice was a little rushed), waiting for Lana's answer and trying to ignore Chloe's stare.
As Lana nodded in confusion, Chloe watched me with a baffled look as I lead her into the kitchen, making sure the swinging door closed behind us.
"Okay, what was that? You're a lot more stupid than I thought if you can't figure out how to work a coffeemaker yourself."
"This isn't about the coffee, Chloe," I corrected, pulling out the coffee mix as Chloe got some mugs from the cabinet. "I didn't tell Lana…everything."
Chloe stopped and turned to me, half pissed off and half disbelieved. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "You're trying to tell me that you've taken a woman you're supposedly in love with into hiding with you so that you two can be together for the rest of your lives and you haven't even told her you're an alien?!"
"Shh!" I snapped. Chloe's voice was far from being loud, but my mind was filled with too much paranoia. I tried scooping the ground up coffee with a spoon, but it ended up spilling all over the counter due to my nervous behavior.
"You have to tell her."
"I know."
"Like right now, Clark." She grabbed the spoon out of my hand and tried to shove me into the living room.
"Chloe, stop!"
"No, Clark!" she retorted, her voice still soft, but filled with anger. "This girl trusts you so much that she was willing to run away with you and live in a stranger's house indefinitely just because you told her it would be alright. You're making her believe that there's nothing more to Clark Kent then what she already knows. Keeping yourself a secret for much longer could destroy this relationship!"
"I know…I know…" My heart was pounding deep in my chest as I heard Chloe's words. Somehow, hearing out loud what I had done made me feel ten times worse.
"Then go!"
"No, I-I want to wait until I've got Lex here."
"What? Why?"
"Because," I rushed back to making the coffee, finally getting the powder into the machine and hearing the heated beverage spew into the mug, "…because I don't want to risk her not accepting me."
"Why would Lex have anything to do with that?"
I closed my eyes, grabbing the kitchen counter with both hands and leaning against it. "I know it's irrational, Chloe…but I just…I want to her to have no reason to believe that my plan isn't going to work. I want Lex here as proof to show her that I truly want this plan to work and that I'm not trying to cheat her out of anything or purposefully making this a one-sided relationship."
I sighed before continuing with the words that had burned through my mind ever since I fell in love with Lana. "I don't expect you to understand…but when you live your whole life as an outsider…with no one who can truly feel what you're feeling or know where you're coming from…you start to live a lie. You pretend like you don't need anyone else because there's no way they'd accept you anyway. You convince yourself that any kind of true, real bond with anyone will always end badly. And then you miss out on everything that makes life worth living.
"And Lana made me see that. She opened my eyes to see that loving someone and having that love returned is what we truly live for. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me…and…" I squeezed my eyes closed, wishing more than anything that I could go back in time, "…and I can't risk losing her. Maybe waiting for Lex is a stupid, unnesscary precaution, but…I just cannot lose that girl…"
Chloe put a hand on my shoulder, her touch giving me enough strength to open my eyes. "She loves you too much. It'll be all right."
"You can't know that."
Chloe sighed, a little annoyed by my sudden pessimism, but didn't hesitate initiating a friendly hug from behind and then handed me a napkin. "You'd better pull yourself together. The coffee's ready."