Disclaimer: I do not own The Covenant

A/N: The song for this chapter is going to be important in setting the mood. It's called 'I Don't Want To Be Me' by Amanda Clemens. I want this chapter to almost have the feel of a montage.

Wild Pagan Heart by Cara Mascara
Chapter 29: If I Wait It's Too Late For The Remedy

I walked into English class the next morning finding my usual seat next to Reid was occupied by a thin brunette who was hanging on him. Reid looked right at me and smirked. He leaned over and whispered something to the girl. It must have been about me because he gestured in my direction with a curt nod of his head and the girl looked at me and started snickering. I sat in an empty seat in the front of the room. As Pennyworth started class I fought the urge not to cry.

"Bitch," Reid muttered as he walked by me in the hall, purposely shoving me into the lockers with his shoulder. I groaned and leaned against them for a minute. He just laughed to whatever girl he was walking with. Do you know how much that hurts? It fucking kills me every time he does something like this and just acts like he never gave a shit about me.
I went to the dorms, finding Kira and Aaron beat me to my room. They were just sitting around though. "Hey…" Aaron said carefully.

I looked at him and gave him my best smile, which wasn't much sadly. "I saw what happened in the hall. Are you just going to let him do that to you?" Kira asked, appalled.

"Look who's talking. You take the same kind of shit from him," I snapped. Her mouth gaped slightly. "Sorry… I muttered. That was mean. Kira had been unusually nice to me as of late.

"It's fine."

"I'm worried about you…" Aaron said, looking up at me from his bed.

"I'm fine. I'll get over it. He's just a guy, right?" I laughed. I don't know if they could tell it was fake or not, but I just sat on my bed and turned on the TV.

Two weeks later it was still going on. Every time Reid saw me he'd whisper something to whoever he was with at the time and they'd laugh, unless it was Tyler, Caleb, Sarah, or surprisingly enough, Pogue. I avoided everyone. I felt like the only reason I hung out with any of them in the first place was because of Reid. They were his friends, not mine. And Mel. I avoided her too. The first week she called non-stop, but I ignored her. The second week her calls died down. And now by the third week, it seemed like she just stopped trying. I can't say I blame her though. I'm shutting everyone out on purpose.

I was looking bad too. My hair lacked the luster it used to have, my eyes were a dull gray as opposed to the intense dark blue they used to be. I looked pasty instead of just fair skinned and I always seemed to have heavy bags under my eyes. I didn't bother putting makeup on anymore. I didn't even want to look in the mirror to do it. And I was noticeably losing weight. My bones were starting to jut out instead of being a faint accent under my skin the way they had been.

I'd slept with Aaron a week ago. And again three days ago. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to feel like someone wanted me. And even he didn't want me anymore. He told me he was going to try to be in a relationship with Kira yesterday. I'm glad for him. That he realized he can't just whore around his whole life. And that Kira does care about him. But he seemed to be my last ray of hope. Now that was gone.

I didn't get much sleep either. All I could do was wonder what was wrong with me. I hardly ate anything. I avoided the cafeteria as much as I could. And if I went in there, I got some food, usually a piece of fruit or a bag of chips or something, and went to my room. Or ate in the bathroom. I wanted to be away from Reid as much as I could.

During lunch I went to my room, not bothering to even get any food. I unlocked my door and went into the bathroom. I had English and algebra with Reid this morning and already I couldn't take it. I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in almost two weeks.

I immediately started crying. I don't understand what's wrong with me. I looked down into the sink and saw my tears fall into the white porcelain and I screamed and opened the medicine cabinet. I took the bottle of Xanax out and shook the bottle till one of the pills fell into my palm. I looked at the tiny white pill in my hand. Sure it was small, but it packed one hell of a punch. One-third of one made me drowsy.

I bent down and opened the cabinet under the sink. I reached behind the extra rolls of toilet paper and grabbed a bottle of Dubra vodka I'd hidden there from Kira. I poured some of it into my water glass filling it about halfway. Deep down, I know this is a stupid thing to do. But when you're upset and as emotionally unstable as I am, it's hard to think logically.

I popped the pill into my mouth and drank the vodka as fast as I could. I had to stop halfway through the glass to cringe, but I finished it. It would help me get through the day and my next class, which was with Reid.

Of course with my luck the seats in home ec. were assigned. So I still had to sit with Reid. I slid into my seat before he was in the room thank god. I sunk down as low as I could without looking strange as Mel and everyone else piled into the room. She stopped for a minute and looked at me sadly before looking away, shaking her head and going to take her seat next to Tyler. I watched her with my, now, constantly sad eyes.

"I can't believe you dated her!" a girl's voice said, entering the room, followed by a giggle. I had my head down but I didn't even bother to look up. The Xanax and alcohol were starting to set in and I was getting tired. Plus, I knew it was one of Reid's bimbo's.

"For the record, we weren't dating. I was just having a little fun," Reid's voice replied to her. Ouch. Alright… that one hurt. I closed my eyes as tears threatened to spill.

"You asshole!" Melody's voice said from her seat. She had stood and slammed her hands on the desk. She only sat in the aisle across form me so she heard what he said. Her sudden outburst startled me and I sat up. The rambunctious students all quieted down and everyone stared at the redhead in shock. Normally, she would have blushed and sat back down. But rage was evident in her eyes. "Look at her," she gestured to me. Why did she have to do that? I know I look like shit. Why bring more attention to it? "All she did was tell you the truth and now you treat her like dirt! You are the most pathetic, obnoxious, worthless human being in the world Reid Garwin!"

I could feel everyone looking between the three of us. This was way too much. I couldn't handle this. I stood up, walking right by Mrs. Angelo and rushed off to the dorms. I know everyone heard my sobs as I left the room and knew I was crying. Guess I wasn't going to the rest of my classes. I appreciate what Mel did, but I think she only made me look even more pathetic

-Reid's POV-

"I can't believe you dated her!" the girl I was walking to home ec. with said, referring to Lux. I'm not even sure what her name is. Tammy DaSilva or DaCosta or something along those lines. It doesn't matter.

"For the record, we weren't dating. I was just having a little fun," I lied. With the way Lux has been looking lately I don't want people thinking I dated her. They'll think there's something wrong with me.

"You asshole!" Mel's voice yelled and I turned to see her stand and slam her hands on her table that she shared with Tyler. Whoa killer, calm down. Red's loud mouth silenced the whole class. They all turned their attention to the commotion she was causing. Even Lux sat up from her slumped over position on the desk. "All she did was tell you the truth and now you treat her like dirt! You are the most pathetic, obnoxious, worthless human being in the world Reid Garwin!" My jaw dropped slightly. I like all eyes on me, but not in a situation like this. I looked at Lux who looked like she was about to cry and was incredibly uncomfortable. Wow… she really did look like shit.

She stood up and stormed out of the room. I saw her tears. I heard her sob. She was crying and I felt my throat close up. What the hell did I do to her? She barely even comes to class, at least the ones I'm in. I don't think she eats and- no… no it's her own fault.

Mrs. Angelo walked in as Lux ran out. "Oh my, is everything alright?" she asked and everyone took their seats.

"Mrs. Angelo? Can I go check on her?" Pogue asked. Pogue? What the hell did he have to say to her?

"I suppose so Mr. Parry," she approved. He stood up, grabbing his books and walking out of the room. I felt a prong of jealousy. What did he want with her?

"Use protection this time Pogue. Don't impregnate her again." I did not just say that. Pogue glared at me as he walked by and a lot of people gasped. Mel and Tyler both had their jaws dropped and whispers erupted. I closed my eyes. I can't believe I just said that in front of the whole class.

"Mr. Garwin! That's quite enough!

-Lux's POV-

Someone was knocking at the door but I ignored it. I screwed the cap of my vodka off and took a few swigs. I didn't take anymore Xanax. I'm already pretty tired. The person knocking wasn't going away.

"Go away!" I sobbed loud enough for them to hear. Two seconds later the door opened and whoever was there came in. Pogue stood at the bathroom door looking at the bottle of alcohol in my hands, noticing the way they were shaking. "H- how did you get in here?" I asked. I could've sworn I locked my door.

"Powers, remember? Give me that," he said coming into the bathroom and taking the bottle from me. I barely put up a fight. I just slumped onto the floor and pulled my knees to my chest as he dumped what was left in the bottle down the sink. "Lux, get up, come on." I shook my head and put my face on my knees and continued crying. Instead of arguing with me, Pogue just picked me up off the floor and brought me to sit on my bed.

"What makes you think I want to talk to you?" I snapped at him, once I'd settled down a bit.

"Because… I just got my heart broken too. I thought we could relate," he said. There was no emotion on his face.

"Yeah well… where were you a few years ago?" I asked, reminding him that he'd been the cause of my heartbreak once.

"I'm sorry! If I could take it all back I would! I was young and stupid! I thought we already put this behind us?" he almost shouted, but he voice got quieter as he continued. I looked down at my legs that were hanging off the bed. "Lux…" I looked up and met his eyes. His gorgeous green eyes.

Before I had realized what I was doing I had leaned in and kissed him. It felt good to kiss him again. But it didn't feel… right. I thought about Reid. What better way to spite him then to kiss one of his friends? I can think of one other way…

A/N: Ohhh snappp I've had this chapter written for a long time lol. Almost since I started writing this story.