Chione: hey everyone. I know it's been awhile, but some troubling stuff has been happening in my life and I just didn't feel like writing at all. But, I've gotten off my tush and said, "I need to get a chapter done!"
Bakura: mostly because we made her with fire and pitchforks!
Cast of Yugioh: YEAH!
Chione: --.-- you all SUCK! Anywho, today our disclaimer will be presented by… TEA!
Tea: alright, Chione doesn't own Yugioh, Mortal Kombat, Green Peace, the Rubik's Cube-
Chione: though I do have one!
Tea: or Burger King, Good Burger, the song Let it Snow and the Knights of the Round Table.
Chione: I also have no connections to the Prime Minister of Britain, or the Taliban. And I'm not sure if there really is a store called Skins and Things, so if there is, I don't own it either! Now, enjoy the chapter!
"And now the series premier of MORTAL KOMBAT! In The Retirement Home."
Yami was sitting on the couch before the TV, Kuriboh (which had returned with a frustrated Rebecca) sitting by his side with his face in a canister of coffee, and Bakura on the far end of the couch attempting to solve a Rubik's Cube.
"Stupid bloody thing…" Bakura mumbled to himself in anger. "I hate it! Why did I even attempt to try it!"
Slowly his mind wandered back to earlier that day…
Early that morning…
Bakura walked over to Yami who was sitting on the couch, playing with something colorful.
"What the bloody hell are you doing?" The former spirit demanded.
Yami held up a cube made up of many colored, smaller cubes. "It's called a Rubik's Cube. You have to get all the same colors on separate sides. Want to try it?"
"Why would you want to waste my time playing with that? Unlike you, I'm not easily amused with colorful things like a child would be."
"I bet you couldn't do it." Yami's voice held a taunting tone. "I bet you couldn't beat my score."
Quickly the white haired young man snatched the puzzle-toy-thing from Yami's hands. "You're on. But what's your score?"
"I got all of those done in under an hour." He pointed to a large pile of the exact same cubes behind the couch, each of them solved.
Bakura smirked. "I'll get more done in half an hour!" He plopped down beside Kuriboh and slowly set to work.
Back to the present…
Yami looked over at the thief, a small smile of victory on his face. "How long has it been? Three, four hours? And you're still on the first one?"
"Oh shut up." Bakura snapped.
"I told you you couldn't do it."
Bakura shot a death glare at him and stood up angrily. "I give up! There's no solving this thing! You gave me a loaded cube!" With the cube still in hand he marched off into the kitchen area.
"I didn't load anything." The former pharaoh said after him. "You're just an idiot."
Something collided with the back of Yami's head, forcing him to go head first into the coffee table. Bakura had thrown the Rubik's Cube at him…
Yami grabbed the cube and shot up, his face red with rage. "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!"
But before Bakura could retort, Yugi entered the apartment from the hallway.
"Are you two fighting again?" The short young man asked, exasperated. "You're worse than an old married couple!"
This remark received Yugi an earful of foul words from both Yami and Bakura. Ignoring them, Yugi marched over to Joey's bedroom door where he banged loudly.
"Joey! Get out here!" He demanded. "It's been over a month! You need to get a job! We're going job hunting today!"
"Go away!" Came from inside the room.
Yugi sighed, then turned back to his yami who was now throwing a horde of Rubik's Cubes at Bakura.
"Yami, will you please?"
The former spirit didn't even look, but snapped his fingers. Instantly the door of Joey's room exploded, sending Yugi into the opposite wall.
The small young man coughed up black smoke as he slid from the wall onto the floor. Yami was instantly at his side, a scared look on his face.
"I, uh, used too much I guess…" A sweat drop formed on his head.
Yugi glared at him. "You guess?" Quickly he stood and brushed the black ashes off of him.
Half an hour later, Joey was sitting on the couch, soaking wet from Yugi and Kuriboh forcing him into the shower with his pajamas still on, and glaring at his best friend and the brown fur ball sitting on his shoulder. Yami and Bakura had disappeared into Bakura's apartment to continue their cube fight.
"Why are you making me do this?" The blonde demanded. "I just want to be left alone."
"Joey, we're behind on the rent because of you. You have to get a job."
"I don't want one!" He pounded his fists into the cushions like a spoiled child.
Yugi gave him a stern look and put his fists on his hips. "You have to. And to help us find you a job, I got some help." His eyes moved to the door and he nodded to the person there.
Joey turned in his seat to see who it was, and his eyes went wide.
"Mai!"
The blonde woman smiled brightly and launched herself at Joey, wrapping him in a huge hug. "Hello, dog breath! How are you?"
"Dog breath?" He gave her a confused look.
Smelling his breath as he spoke, Mai let out a gag. "Wow, I didn't know you actually did have horrible breath! Sheesh, haven't you brushed your teeth in the last week?"
"Not for the last month, actually." Yugi piped in.
Mai shook her blonde curls mournfully. "What's happened to you, kid? This isn't the Joey Wheeler I know. Is Serenity getting married that bad?"
"It is when she's marrying that scum bag."
"Hey, he was after me for awhile. It didn't bother you this much."
Joey's cheeks went red. "Yeah, well… it was you. You could take care of yourself… and well… I figured… you know…" His voice dropped low and his words were lost.
"Know what?" She asked.
"You know…You…" Joey said lowly, again his next words being nothing but a murmur.
Mai frowned. "Will you turn up the volume!"
"Were more experienced!" The young man shouted finally.
Both Mai's, Yugi's, and Kuriboh's eyes went wide. Mai let out a small screech and slapped Joey across the face.
"ARE YOU SAYING I'M A WHORE, WHEELER!"
"NO!" Joey said, cringing as Mai continued to hit him repeatedly. "I would never say that! I meant you were more experienced with handling jerks like that!"
Her hand froze in mid-strike, and then quickly she straightened herself. "I knew that. I was just making sure." Quickly she strode over to the door. "Get dressed, Joey. Then you guys meet me outside. We have job searching to do!"
As she glided out of the apartment, Joey collapsed onto the floor.
"Are you ready?"
Mai fixed Joey's wild hair. She, him, Yugi and Kuriboh (who was posing as Yugi's backpack, much to Yugi's dismay) stood in the doorway of some store who had an ad in the newspaper about needing help.
"What exactly do they do here?" Joey asked, looking around at all the snake skin boots, alligator purses and the like.
"I don't know." Mai admitted. "It's called Skins and Things, so I suppose they sell clothing made from animals."
Kuriboh let out a little cry, which received Yugi an odd look from a couple leaving the store.
The spiky haired young man blushed. "Uh… it's electronic."
The couple merely nodded and kept moving.
"Just go up there, and give them your resume." Mai said encouragingly to Joey, handing him a thing of paper.
"I didn't know I had a resume." The blonde said, flipping through the papers. "Wait, I never worked as a manager at Burger King…"
Mai waved a hand at him. "It's only minor details, nobody cares about that."
"Or for Green Peace. Or as the Prime Minster of Britain's body guard." Joey continued as he read the list of places where he had previously "worked". "Mai, it says I was in the Taliban!"
"I said it was only minor details!" She snapped, hitting him across the back of the head. "Now, get a move on!" She shoved him towards the front desk without another word.
Slowly Joey went to the store clerk, which was a large burly man in overalls stained with some foreign substance.
"Uh… hi. I'm Joey Wheeler." He started out slowly, holding out his resume. "And I heard there was a job opening here."
The large man slowly picked at his teeth with a toothpick, sizing Joey up. "Ever been out to a swamp before, boy?"
Joey shook his head. "Uh… once, on a field trip…"
The clerk spit on the ground with a disgusted look. "You ain't gunna learn what you need for this job on no field trip. Now, uh, ever seen a 'gator?"
"A-an alligator?"
"Yeah, a 'gator. Don't understand my speech, boy?"
"I understand it very well." Joey swallowed hard, though his mouth was dry. "An-and I've seen a few at the zoo."
"Ever seen a 10 foot 'gator coming right at 'cha?"
"N-no…"
The large man continued to size Joey up, then leaned over the counter and whispered, "Ever wrestled one?"
"N-n-no, sir."
"Do ya wanna?" The man said with a curl smiled.
Joey gave a feeble little shrug. "N-never really thought about it, but-but sure, why not?"
"'Atta boy!" He cried, snatching Joey's resume out of his hands. "I'll call ya if we need ya."
"T-thank you." Joey said hurriedly, then quickly went back over to Yugi and Mai.
Yugi gave Joey a concerned look when he saw how pale his friend was. "What's wrong? How'd it go?"
"Go, go, go!" Joey said, ushering them out of the store. "Somewhere else, please!"
"This place looks familiar…"
Joey, Mai and Yugi had slowly walked into a new store. It was a candy shop, with barrels filled with candy.
"I agree…" Yugi murmured as he looked around as well. There definitely was something familiar about the store.
"I have no clue what you guys are talking about." Mai told them. "But there's a help wanted sign in the window, so go do your stuff, Joey!"
The blonde approached the cashier, who was wearing a smock that matched the surroundings. The girl smiled brightly at him.
"I take it you're here on a job hunt?" She said sweetly.
"Yeah, of course." Joey said, warming up to her instantly. He held out his resume proudly. "How did you know?"
"You're not the first to come in today for that reason." Her face became distressed. "Nobody ever seems to want to come in to buy candy anymore. Not since, well, you know… I'm surprised anyone even wants to work here!"
Joey raised a confused eyebrow. "No, I don't know why anybody wouldn't want to buy candy from here. It seems to have a great selection."
"It does." The girl said, nodding her head. "But, you see," She leaned in close, her eyes darkening. "A few months ago, the guy who worked her was… murdered. And stuffed in a bin of licorice. All the money from the cash register was taken, and the store security footage was stolen. We still don't know what happened, nobody saw anything."
By now Joey's eyes were popping out of his head. That explained why the store was familiar, it's the one where Bakura had killed the clerk, and they had all stolen candy!
Realizing this, Joey slowly began to slink away. "How, um, tragic."
"It is… and this use to be a nice neighborhood. But now it's going to ruins, with theft and murder everywhere."
"Yeah, it sure is… But, uh, I have to, um, go." And without another word he shot out of the store, dragging Mai and Yugi after him.
The girl stared after him in confusion. "Uh, have a great day…"
"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?"
The cashier stood behind the tile in a yellow and orange shirt and matching hat. A blank expression was on his face.
"No way in hell I'm working here." Joey declared, and turned right around and left.
Mai and Yugi shrugged, and followed after him.
"It says here that you belonged to the Knights of the Round Table?"
The girl behind the desk gave Joey a funny look as she looked up from his resume in her hands.
"It was, uh, a leisure basketball team." He lied.
As she continued to check over his resume, Joey gazed around the store. It was a clothing store, with mannequins in nice clothes, and tables with neatly folded T-shirts and pants, and a nice little area with couches for people waiting while loved ones tried on clothing. This was definitely a place where he could work.
"Well, everything seems to be in order." The girl said, putting his resume down. "I'll just go ask the manager when you could have an interview time." As Joey nodded, she disappeared into a back room.
Once she was gone, Joey jumped up with joy. Seeing his reaction, Mai and Yugi came over to him.
"Did you get the job?" Mai asked
Joey beamed at her. "I think I'm a shoe in. Thank you guys so much for helping me!" He gave them each a squeeze.
"Alright," The girl had returned from the back room and was holding a piece of paper. "He said you could come in- AHH!" She screamed as something furry launched itself at her.
"What the- KURIBOH!" Yugi cried, seeing that the furry thing was indeed the small little monster.
Kuriboh had caught scent of the girl's perfume, which, strangely, smelt like the Kuriboh pheromone, and sent the creature into a frenzy. And now the Duel Monster was attempting to crawl down the girl's shirt.
"Kuriboh! No!" Yugi cried, trying to pull the fuzz ball's head out of the screaming clerk's cleavage.
Joey hit Kuriboh on the head. "That is NOT how you act around a lady!"
They continued to fight with it, drawing weird looks from the surrounded shoppers. Until finally, Mai pulled out her pepper spray and got Kuriboh right in the eyes.
"HHHHSSSSSSSS!" Kuriboh released his grip on the girl's chest and began to writhe in agony.
Without a second thought, Yugi had the creature in his arms, and the group raced from the store.
"This was SUCH a waste of a day!"
Joey leaned back in the out-of-pace chair, back in the apartment. Yugi was in the bathroom, attempting to sooth Kuriboh's stinging eyes. Mai was in the kitchen, making food for all of them.
"It was that bad." She told him comfortingly.
He glared at her. "We went to twenty different stores, and each of them was either run by some creepy guy, smuggled illegal substances, or Kuriboh mauled the person looking over my resume."
The blonde woman sat down beside him and patted his knee. "There, there. Things will look better tomorrow."
Joey let out a deep sigh and covered his head with a pillow. "Someone, kill me now!"
The front door opened. Both blondes turned to see Kaiba enter, briefcase in hand. He didn't seem to notice Mai, his harsh gaze on Joey.
"Find a job, Wheeler?"
"No, I did not. Thank you SO much for asking."
Kaiba sneered. "If you don't get one soon, you'll be out on the street. And someone more important can have your room, like a hedgehog." His nasty smile grew. "At least a hedgehog would be able to pay his share of the rent."
"I'll get you your rent money!" Joey snapped at him. "I'm just having troubles finding a job, that's all."
The brunette placed his briefcase on the table, opened it, and began shuffling papers. "If it's so bad, why don't you work for me?"
Both Joey and Mai raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Doing what?" Mai asked.
"The odd job, here and there. Pretty much anything I see fit."
She scowled. "So in other words a slave?"
"Of course not." Kaiba said darkly. "Slaves don't get paid, he would. He'd be a servant."
"A servant? To you?" Joey's voice was dripping with venom. Then it changed to curiosity. "How much?"
"Enough for you to pay your rent and have plenty left over." Kaiba sat down and put his feet up on the table. "There are just some things I don't have time to do, and having a personal servant around could be quite helpful. Do we have a deal?"
Joey continued to stare at him. Then he raced over to the table and grabbed Kaiba's hand. "Deal."
"Joey, no!" Mai cried. "It's not worth it!"
"Hey, it's better than wrestling 'gators!" He told her. She only gave him a confused look.
Kaiba was smiling darkly. "For your first task, I want you to make me supper, while humming Let It Snow."
"You got it!" Joey said, saluting him. He began to hum the song as he rummaged for pots and pans.
At this time Yugi entered, his eyes falling onto Joey as his best friend dawned an apron. "What's he doing?"
Mai turned to him and sighed. "Joey just sold his soul for rent money…"