Chione: oh jeez, has it EVER been a long time!
Bakura: we got a break.
Yami: yeah, we disserve one after you made us kill Santa!
Chione: --.-- you weren't complaining at the time…
Yugi: but I'm sure the readers are now…
Chione: I don't think so!
Readers: -just about to bring out their torches and pitchforks-
Yugi: see, told you…
Chione: o.O but it wasn't my fault! Blame school, and work, and sicknesses! All of which I had. And of course, I had the most traumatic thing happen to me!
Bakura: you saw your parents having sex? Oo
Chione: EW, NO! I rolled my car, damn it.
Bakura: mutters too bad you didn't die…
Chione: --.-- hits him over the head with a frying pan
Bakura: x.x
Chione: THANKFULLY I'm alright and still am in one piece, but I can't so as much for my car… May this be a lesson to you all to WEAR YOUR SEATBELTS! I did, and that's pretty much the only reason I'm still here!
Yami and Yugi: write that down
Chione: and since I won't be driving for awhile, and for once I have a Saturday off of work, I finally have time to finish this chapter I started SO long ago! But that's not the point. Let's get this disclaimer done. Here today to do it is the one, the only… Yugi!
Yugi: -rolls his eyes- Chione doesn't own Yugioh, or Dumb and Dumber, or Jackie Chan.
Chione: and if there's an actual gang called "Heaven's Devils" I don't own them either! Now, onto the chapter!
"Joey, hurry up!"
Yugi stood in the bathroom, fixing his tie in the mirror. He was dressed in a nice black suit and crisp white shirt. In the living room were Tristan and Ryou. Ryou also wore a black suit, but Tristan wore a bright orange tux with matching top hat and cane.
"What's taking him so long?" Yugi asked as he left the bathroom and joined his friends before the TV.
"I don't know." Ryou mumbled.
Tristan cast a glance at Joey's door. "I hope he likes my gift for him. He needs as much cheering up as possible today…"
And that was the truth. Because the reason everyone was getting all dressed up was because it was the long dreaded day, Serenity and Valon's wedding…
It had taken a lot of persuading, but Joey had finally agreed to go to his little sister's wedding. Sober. Not high. And with pants on.
At that moment the door to Joey's room opened and he entered the living room, beaming. He wore a tux, top hat and a cane, all exactly like Tristan's only powder blue.
"OH MY GOD MAN!" The blonde cried, smiling at his friend. "You rock!"
Tristan jumped up and went to stand beside him. "Remember when we first saw that movie? We always swore that one time we'd do it!"
Yugi and Ryou exchanged looks, utterly confused, as the other two continued to strike poses.
"Do you know what they're talking about?"
Yugi shook his head. "Not a clue. What movie?" He asked the other two.
"Dumb and Dumber!" They cried in unison, and then continued to utter about how stupid Yugi and Ryou were for not getting it.
There was a knock at the front door, followed by, "You guys, open up!"
"It's Tea." Ryou said, getting up and heading for the door. "She must be done with Bakura and Yami."
He opened the door and allowed the people in the hall to enter. First came Tea, wearing a pretty blue bridesmaid's dress. She stiffened when she saw Yugi, who also went ridged.
"Hello, Yugi."
"Good to see you, Tea."
Everyone else exchanged glances. Things had been uneasy between the two since the incident on Halloween, even though Yugi and Tristan had made up. They quickly found some way of averting their gazes, Tea taking in Joey and Tristan's outfits and Yugi examining the two girls that had entered with Tea .
One was a pretty blonde with poofy hair and vivid magenta eyes, wearing a white sundress and pink shall. The other had hard brown eyes and long black hair, dawning a black dress cut short and calf high boots. Both girls were glaring at the entire room.
Ryou saw them, and clapped his hands together in pleasure. "You two look marvelous! Tea, you worked wonders on them, you can hardly tell they aren't women!"
That's right! The two gorgeous bombshells were really Yami (the blonde) and Bakura (the raven haired)! Unsure of how else to smuggle the two yamis into the wedding, Yugi and Ryou had hauled out the wigs from the duo's Halloween costumes and forced them into drag again.
"I absolutely hate you." Yami muttered, glaring at Yugi who only smiled back.
"We have to go over your aliases." Ryou said. "Just incase someone asks you a question. Bakura," He turned to his counterpart who glared daggers at him. "You're name is Kira. You're my cousin from Scandinavia. Alright?"
Bakura didn't answer, just muttered in a dark tone.
"And Yami," Yugi added, looking at the Pharaoh. "You're my cousin Amy from South Africa. Do you understand?"
"What if they asked us more about us?" Yami questioned.
"Just leave that to us, we'll make something up for you. And stick close to us, alright? We don't need some horny old men whisking you away."
"And don't think they wont!" Joey piped. "This is, after all, my family. It's full of horny old men! But enough of that, let's get this over with!" And him and Tristan linked arms and began to parade out the front door. The rest followed them, and Yugi locked the door behind them all.
"There you are!"
Mai waited for them before the church where the wedding was going to take place as the gang emptied out of Tristan's beat up old van. The blonde wore a purple version of Tea's dress; another bridesmaid.
"Serenity was nearly going ballistic! She thought you weren't going to make it!"
Tea sighed. "Mai, I'm here now and-"
"Who said I was talking to you?" Mai asked, blinking at Tea who turned bright red. "I'm sure Serenity could care less if you showed up. It's Joey she wants to see right now!"
Joey blinked, obviously stunned. "M-me?"
"Of course! She wants to make sure her big brother is here on her big day! And-"
"Here it comes…" Joey mumbled to himself.
"She needs to ask you for a favor."
"Damnit, I showed up! What more does she want from me?"
"Joseph Wheeler!" Someone cried in a high feminine tone, hitting him over the head with a purse. It was the one person everyone would least suspect: Bakura.
"A girl's wedding is the most important day of her life!" Bakura continued in his girlish voice. "You better do whatever is in your power to make this day perfect for your sister, or else!"
Joey just blinked at him. "Uh-ok…"
"Great!" Mai cried, and grabbed Joey by the arm, hauling him off towards the church. With a grudgingly look Tea followed after them.
"Wow…" Ryou muttered, still looking at Bakura. "That was a really nice thing you did, Bakura."
"Yeah, yeah. Shuttup." Bakura snapped, slapping Ryou upside the head with his purse. "Now, where's the bar? If I'm going to be in a dress this entire time, I need to be drunk…"
"Joey! You made it!"
The moment that Joey entered her dressing room at the back of the church, Serenity was out of her seat and tackled him in a huge hug.
"Ah!" Joey cried, falling over onto the floor with his little sister on top of him, hugging the life out of him. "Uh… hey, Serenity."
"I'm SO happy now!" She cried, squeezing him tighter. "This is the best day of my life!"
"Serenity- you're choking me!"
"OH!" Instantly she was on her feet and pulling Joey to his.
He had to admit, she was lovely in a puffy white dress and her hair all done up. And was it a puffy dress! It made her look like a marshmallow, which kinda made Joey hungry…
"Do you like it?" Serenity asked when she noticed him looking at the dress. "Mom made it especially for me!"
"Of course!" He told her has his stomach let out a low growl. When Serenity gave him a look, he quickly distracted her. "Mai said you needed a favor?"
"Oh yeah!" A look crossed this face, which strongly resembled a puppy dog face. "Joey, we have a problem. Valon's best friend from high school was suppose to be his Best Man. And-"
"HOLD IT! Hold everything!" Joey cried. "Valon went to high school? Did he finish? I bet he flunked out…"
She gave him a dark look. "Yes, he did finish high school. And went to college. And has a Ph.D. in brain surgery. And he got all of that by the time he was ten."
Her brother's eyes went wide. "Holly crap! You're marrying a genius!"
"I try not to brag." She told him with a shrug.
"Wow… what went wrong?"
"He watched a Jackie Chan movie and decided there was more to life." Serenity said matter-of-factly.
Joey frowned. "Damn you Jackie Chan! You always corrupt people!"
"As I was saying," She interrupted, bringing Joey back to the topic at hand. "His best friend from high school was suppose to be Valon's Best Man, but he got in an accident on the way here."
"And let me guess, he has to be in the hospital for the rest of the night?"
"No, he's dead."
Joey's eyes went extremely wide at how casually Serenity said this. She didn't seem to skip a beat, because she went on: "So, we were hoping if you could be his Best Man…"
"Me! Isn't there some other freak around that could take the position?"
"Oh, please Joey!" Serenity cried, and burst into tears skillfully as if she had tons of practice. "It would only be for an hour or so! Please!"
"Can't you get some other person to do it?"
"No! Valon and I talked about it, and we only want you in that position." She smiled brightly and instantly her tears melted away. Joey sighed. He knew it was too late, and he had already given in.
"I'm not changing out of my tux!" He said defiantly as Serenity hauled him down to the room where Valon and his Grooms Men were getting prepared.
"Oh, there's no need, you'll be just fine!" Serenity said with an innocent smile, and shoved him through the door. Then she was gone before anyone, especially Valon, could see her dress.
"Hello there, brother!" Valon cried, giving Joey a huge hug. "We can call each other "brother" now because we are due to law!"
The blonde frowned, grabbed Valon's face and pushed him away. "Get. Off."
And that's when he saw what all of Valon's Groom's Men were wearing. Powder blue tuxes, with matching hats and canes. Steam started puffing from Joey's ears.
"TRISTAN!"
"Serenity asked me for a favor!" Tristan cried, appearing at the door in his orange tux. "And she started crying! I didn't know what to do, man! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO! I CAN'T HANDLE CRYING CHICKS! I'M WEAK, MAN, FREAKING WEAK! I let you down!" And he ran away crying before Joey could say anything.
Joey looked over at Valon. "There was no best friend in an accident, was there?"
"Yes, he was in an accident. But he most definitely was not going to be my Best Mate. We had a falling out a few years ago. But the story was all Serenity's doing. She's a smart little sheela, she is!"
The blonde sighed heavily and turned to see the other Groom's Men. They were faces he knew; Allester, Raphael, even Dartz, and-
"Duke!" Joey cried in disbelief.
His friend smiled shyly a bit. "Hey Joey."
"What are you doing here?"
"Me and Valon go way back. We use to run in the same bike gang long ago."
Joey blinked. "You mean motorcycle gang?"
"Nope. Bike gang, as in bicycles." Duke told him matter-of-factly. "Back in fourth grade. We were the Heaven's Devils, seeing as most of the gang went to the same Catholic School."
He blinked again. "You were in Catholic School?"
Duke beamed at this. "Sure was. Was a straight A+ student before meeting Valon. My parents always warned me about falling into the wrong crowd, but I figured since Valon was a ten-year-old brain surgeon, he couldn't possibly be in the "wrong crowd." Boy, was I wrong!"
"What happened to your "gang"?"
"It broke up shortly after Valon went to Juvie. Too much fighting over who'd be the new leader of the pack. And too many of us kept getting grounded."
"That… sure is nice to know…" Joey muttered.
"Let's not stand around anymore!" Dartz declared. "We have a wedding to prepare for!" And he began to place flower crowns on all their heads.
Joey sat down and grumbled. "Someone save me…"
Chione: oOoOoO, a cliffy! This chapter was getting long, so I decided to cut it in half. Hope you enjoyed it, and stay tuned for the second part! BYE!