Chione: it's still been awhile, but less time than it took before!
Duke: are you ready to rumble?
Tristan: or watch a wedding?
Joey: …I'll take the rumbling -goes to leave-
Serenity: -uses her iron muscle to stop him- YOU CAN'T GO, YOU'RE THE BEST MAN!
Joey: I don't wanna!
Serenity: -suddenly ten feet high- oh, you'll do it. And you'll like it! I WILL NOT HAVE MY SPECIAL DAY RUINED!
Joey: O.o yes ma'am…
Serenity: -all nice again- YAY! I'm so happy you see it my way! -hugs Joey-
Joey: -glares a Valon- what did you do with my sister?
Valon: o.O she's always been like this, I swear!
Chione: YOU GUYS ARE GETTING OFF TOPIC! Today the disclaimer will be done by: Inspector Gadget!
I.G.: hello everyone! Chione doesn't own Yugioh, me, Out Tonight from the Broadway Musical Rent, or Mojo-Jojo.
Chione: alright everyone, enjoy the grand conclusion of the pervious chapter!
"When's the bloody thing going to start?"
The group was sitting on the white lawn chairs in front of the church as everything else was getting hauled out into the sun. Certain events (such as Joey screaming at the top of his lungs that Valon was the incarnation of all evil and had spat on the Pope) had gotten them kicked out of the church and forced to have the wedding outside in the graveyard. If it hadn't been for Serenity being a long time friend of the minister, the whole lot of them would've been chased of the holy property with torches and pitchforks.
Ryou leaned over and hit Bakura over the head (he had been the one who complained before).
"Settle down!" Ryou hissed at his evil counterpart. "It'll start once everything has been moved outside."
"I think it's a good thing that it's no longer in the church." Yami mumbled. "I'm sure that Bakura would've walked through the doors and burst into flames…"
Bakura glared at him/her. "I'll have you know, thank you very much, that that only happens on Sundays."
Yami didn't reply, only muttered to himself about being referred to as "him/her," and fixed his wig.
"I feel so bad." Yugi leaned over and whispered to Tristan. "Serenity has to have her wedding in a graveyard."
"I think it's kinda befitting." Tristan told him, and when his friend gave him a confused look he said, "Well, within a week we'll be back here anyway for a funeral after Joey kills Valon."
"Or," Bakura piped in. "For a double funeral."
Both Tristan and Yugi gave Bakura a funny look. "Double funeral?"
The thief flipped some of his black wig over his shoulder and nodded. "Of course. Within a week the bride and groom will realize the huge mistake they made, and in an effort to not spend money on a divorce lawyer, they'll both commit suicide."
"Stop that!" Ryou said, once again leaning over and hitting Bakura over the head. "Why are you in such a foul mood?"
"I'm wearing a thong and it's giving me a killer wedgey…"
Everyone sitting around Bakura inched away from him a little bit. He just glared at them all.
"What? Women wear thongs."
"Bakura…" Yami uttered. "Tea didn't say you had to wear women's underwear."
"Well, that's the first I've heard of it!" He cried, standing up. "I'm getting drunk, who's with me?" Everyone remained seated and just stared at him. After a moment or two he growled, "FINE. I'll do it myself." And tossing the scarf he stole from an old lady earlier over his shoulder, he marched off to find the outdoor bar.
Everyone watched him go, then turned back around in their seats.
"At least we'll have some quiet now…" Yugi said lowly.
Bakura walked to the open bar in heels with ease, as if he had years of experience. He stopped right in front of the bartender and in his most girliest voice said,
"Give me a shot of your strongest stuff, pronto!"
The bartender blinked. "Yes ma'am." And brought out a bottle of moonshine.
Bakura raised an eyebrow. "Moonshine at a wedding?"
"Yes, ma'am." The bartender said. "Most of the Wheelahs are country folk. Can't have a weddin' without good ol' XXX. Need anymore proof of 'em being hicks, I hear-ed that Eusifus Wheelah dun brought a cow as a weddin' present. She's right fine, and standin' right over yonder." And he pointed out a huge gift amongst the other presents that was covered in wrapping paper, shapes like a cow, and swatting flies away with its wrapped up tail.
Well… Thought Bakura. That explains Joey's intelligence. His whole family is inbred…
The bartender filled a shot of moonshine just as the wedding march began. Bakura turned to see first Allester and Tea parade down the aisle, then Rebecca and Raphael, followed by Duke and some enormous lady whom he seemed terrified of, Dartz and Ishizu, and finally Mai and Joey.
"Oh jeez…" Bakura mumbled, and looked down at his shot glass thankfully. "Not a moment too soon." He quickly swigged it turned to face the ceremony as the other guests stood to watch Serenity being walked down the aisle by her mother.
"Isn't it just beautiful?" A familiar voice next to Bakura asked. "My sister just looks ravishing in her dress!"
He turned to look at the speaker, but couldn't exactly focus on his face. Holy shit, this is good moonshine!
The speaker saw him looking and smiled. "My sister's the one in the yellow dress."
Bakura attempted to look that far, but he couldn't exactly see. It was all a blur. But wasn't Ishizu wearing a yellow dress?
He once again faced the speaker, trying to remember which one of Ishizu's brothers this could be. Well… it wasn't the prissy one, what was his name again? He didn't know, he didn't really care. All he knew was he was a prissy guy who wore tang tops and rod a motorcycle. And went crazy every now and then. He had identity issues, Bakura remembered foggily.
So this is the big man servant brother. Bakura rationalized. What was his name, Ottomon? Odduson? Omo-Chocho? Mojo-Jojo?
Yeah, Mojo-Jojo, that's it!"Hey, Mojo-Jojo!" He found himself saying, but really wasn't thinking about saying anything. "Long time, no see!"
The other man (who incase you haven't figured out is Odeon) just gave Bakura a funny look. "I don't believe we've met before. I'm Odeon."
Bakura smiled and took Odeon's hand. "I'm, um… Kira! That's my name, Kira! But," His slurred voice dropped down to a whisper and Odeon had to strain to hear it. "My name's not really Kira, but shhh! Keep it on the down low!" He gave Odeon a couple nods, and he just nodded along confused.
Before the audience the bride and groom were just starting on their vows and Odeon began to watch intently again. Bakura, on the other hand, took another shot of moonshine and started to get a little rowdy.
"This is so boring!" He said, stumbling into Odeon. "I want to dance!" And he grabbed Odeon's hands and attempted to get the larger man to dance with him.
Odeon frowned. "I'm sure you're a very lovely woman, but really, I want to see this."
"Why?"
"I love weddings." He said, and his eyes got all misty.
The thief just blinked at him. "Right. Wellllllll, I'm dancing." And he continued to dance and start to sing Out Tonight as well.
"What's the time? Well it's gotta be close to midnight! Um… something-something-some-thang! Where this chick'll dance in the flaaaaaaaaaaaaames!"
As he sang this, Bakura kicked off his boots and started to unzip his dress. Luckily, Odeon noticed this and grabbed his hands.
"You can't take off your dress here!" The Egyptian cried.
Bakura glared at him and tried to pull away. "What duya mean I can't take off my dress? I'm hot!"
"Stop dancing and you'll cool down."
"Who're you to tell me what to do? I'll have you know that I'm a princess! That's right, a princess from some freakin' exotic land that you've probably never even heard of, you ape, you! And another thing-!" But he never got to finish that sentence because he just completely passed out.
Odeon caught him, a bit frightened. Luckily, nobody had heard any of Bakura's commotion other than the bartender. Now Odeon turned to the bartender and said, "A cup of coffee please?"
The bartender obliged, and Odeon propped Bakura into a chair and stuck the coffee under his nose. When he didn't stir, he tired to make the thief drink from the cup, but it only dripped down the sides of his face. Lost for anything else to do, Odeon dumped the coffee onto Bakura's head.
"AH!" The drag queen screeched, jumping up and wide awake. Once again, no one watching the ceremony heard him.
After a moment of cursing from being scolded by coffee, Bakura settled back into his chair and sat dazedly, still half drunk.
"Do you want to watch the wedding now?" Odeon questioned.
"Ok…" He said in a dreamy voice. Odeon turned him around and together they watched the ceremony.
By the time they got up to the exchanging of the rings (which was five minutes later), both Odeon and Bakura were moved to tears.
"This is so beautiful!" Bakura sobbed. "I take back the comment from earlier, about them committing suicide. They're perfect for each other, and will be together forever!"
"That's why I love weddings!" Odeon cried. "It gives me hope that one day I will find someone to love forever! Most of the time I just loose hope!" And he continued to blubber.
Bakura leaned over and gave him a huge hug. "Don't talk like that, there's someone out there for you! I only wish that I could find someone who could love me. Someone who could handle my craziness and rudeness, and see past all the sour to the kind lady I really am! But you, you have a chance! Don't loose hope!"
Odeon sniffed and turned to Bakura. "Thank you, it means a lot. But I don't think you're crazy, I think you're the most kindest, sweetest, and most interesting woman I've ever met."
"Really? You mean that?"
"Yes I do."
Tears filled the former spirit's eyes and soon he was bawling again. "Thank you!"
Odeon took his hand and patted it. He seemed to be thinking something, because he said, "Kira. I know I want to get married soon. Do you want to get married as soon as possible?"
Bakura thought about it for a moment, then said, "Yeah. I think I do."
"Then," Odeon took a deep breath. "Why don't we get married?"
"Huh?" Bakura blinked.
"Yeah! Is that such a radical thought? I know we've just met, but I think you're great! I know I could love you one day. What do you say? What do we have to lose?"
The drag queen was silent for a couple moments. He must have forgotten that he was really a dude, because he said, "It may be the wedding atmosphere talking, but sure! Let's get married!"
"Oh, thank you!" Odeon cried, and hugged him. The two jumped to their feet, and ran off (for Bakura it was more dukenly staggering) to find the nearest Vegas-like chapel.
"The wedding was lovely." Ryou was saying to Serenity and Valon once the final part of the ceremony was finished and the newly weds had signed their papers. "I'm sure you two will be happy together."
"I know we will." Serenity said, smiling at Valon.
Joey came up from behind and put his arm around Valon's shoulders. "Hey, listen… You better treat my sister good, you hear me?"
"Of course, Joey, you don't have'ta worry."
"Uh, yeah, I do. Also, I don't want any nieces or nephews at the moment. If Serenity calls me to give me the "happy news," you're a dead man."
Valon just stared at him with wide eyes. "Alrighty then."
"I'll also be sending you a list of rules I want you to follow with her." Joey continued. "Break one and I'll know. I have people watching your every move."
"T-that's nice…"
"Yeah, it is for me too. And don't go pressuring her into anything because it's the wedding night. If she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to, got it?"
"Ye-yeah, I got it all right."
Joey smiled, but it was anything but sweet. "Well, that should be all. For now." And without a second glance he turned from Valon to congratulate his little sister.
Just then Yami ran up (in heels too, how impressive).
"You guys!" He said, pulling Yugi and Ryou aside.
"What is it?" Yugi asked, not liking the look on the former Pharaoh's face.
"I can't find Bakura."
"What?" Ryou and Yugi cried in unison.
"I can't find him! Last I saw of him, he was getting a drink, and now he's nowhere." Yami seemed exasperated.
"Oh no…" Ryou mumbled, looking all around. "Do you think he went into the Church and actually burst into flames?"
Yami rubbed his face. "It's a possibility…"
"No it isn't!" Yugi said, swatting Yami.
"Ow!" His counterpart cried. "How dare you hit a lady!"
Yugi rolled his eyes. "Let's all split up. Asks guests if they've seen him."
So they did as they were told, Ryou telling Tea, Joey, Rebecca, Tristan and Duke as well. Ishizu also found out (what an eaves dropper) and said she'd help as well. The whole group set out, searching. Eventually, as all the guests started to leave, they met up in front of the Church.
"Any luck?" Yugi asked.
"What if he got cornered by some thugs who thought he was some hot chick or something?" Duke said his thoughts aloud. "Those poor thugs, they wouldn't stand a chance…"
"That's not it." Tea hissed at him.
Rebecca ran up to the group. "The bartender says he saw a girl that matched Bakura's description perfectly! Let's go!" And the whole lot of them rushed over to the bar.
"Yeah, I see-ed her." The bartender told them when they asked. "Pretty little thang, she was. Started talkin' to some big dark man who was all bald 'cept for a ponytail on the back of his there head."
"That sounds like Odeon." Ishizu muttered.
"I reckon that's what he say-ed his name was." The bartender told her. "Them two bawled over the weddin' like two old women. Then they alls gots a huffin', and ran off to get hitched."
Everyone blinked simultaneously. "Huh?"
"They've's gone to get hitched." When all he got was confused, the bartender said firmly, "Marry-ed."
"WHAT THE HELL!" Everyone cried.
It was Joey who quickly came to his senses. "Thank you, Jethro. You've been a huge help. Let's go, guys." And he ushered them all back towards the parking.
"You know that guy, Joey?" Tristan asked as they walked.
Joey nodded. "Yeah, that's my cousin, Uncle Jethro."
Tristan blinked. "You're cousin, Uncle Jethro?"
"Yeah, it's along story, I don't like to get into it…"
"Odeon and Bakura?" Ishizu gasped, nearly fainting. "I should've always known…"
"No, no, it's not like that!" Yugi quickly told her. "He probably thinks Bakura's really a woman."
She just gave him a look. "And what about Bakura? Did he just forget he's a man?"
"It could happen." Yugi said with a shrug.
"We have to go after them." Ryou said. "We can't let them actually get-get-get married."
"Why not?" Yami questioned, an evil smile on his face. "I think they'd make a lovely match. Sure, there would be a nasty surprise on the wedding night for Odeon, but I'm sure they can work through that."
Everyone just stared at Yami in disbelief. Nobody said anything.
Yami glared back at them. "FINE, let's go after them."
Just then Allester, Raphael and Dartz approached them.
"What's wrong, my little buttercups?" Dartz asked, noticing their distressed look.
"Uh…" Yugi mumbled, unsure about letting Allester and Raphael know about Yami and Bakura. "Two of our friends seemed to have eloped."
"Well, that's a good thing, ain't it?" Allester asked.
Yugi felt a sweat drop form on his head. "Normally… but we believe one of them doesn't know what's going on because h-she's under the influence. But the other probably doesn't know, so this could be a hugely bad thing."
"A damsel in distress!" Raphael gasped. "A villain taking advantage of her, um, drunkenness! NOT WHILE RAPHAEL IS HERE!"
"I agree!" Allester chimed in. "We will help you defeat this scoundrel!"
Tea couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Wow, have they changed…"
"What are we waiting for!" Raphael cried. "To the helicopter!" And him and Allester rushed off to a huge helicopter sitting in a nearby park.
Yugi gave a sigh. "I guess we have to go with them… let's go."
Slowly the rest of the group followed, not exactly what would happen on this "rescue mission" for both Bakura and Odeon…