James, Sirius, and Remus go to a muggle toy store to buy a present for Sirius's cousin Sitrus.

This chapter was written by Special in the Head Gred and Forge's awesome bestest ever friend, Mayor of Toasterland.

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Sirius: I have to get a gift for my cousin's brother-in-law's uncle's nephew's sister's best friend's niece's imaginary friend, Sitrus.

Remus: Why?

Sirius: because my mother told me not to and I hate her so I will go out of my way to disobey her. And I wanna see superman.

James: who's superman?

Sirius: I really don't know but I wanna see him.

Remus: so where do we find a present for your blah blah blah's imaginary friend?

Sirius: well, the imaginary friend is a 4 year-old muggle.

Remus: so let's go to a muggle toy store.

James: Toys are them!

Sirius: Toys are us!

Lily: walks in that's an actual place you know.

Sirius: jumps up. I get smart points! Where'd you come from?

James: I thought you and your dad had this discussion a long time ago.

Sirius: looks at Lily. You know the stork! Oh! Can I meet him?

Lily: never mind. You are such an idiot. Did anyone ever tell you that?

Sirius: Okay, okay. I know this is gonna shock all of you. But the answer is yes. The hamsters tell me that too.

Remus: That really doesn't surprise me at all.

Lily: Wow. I'm just gonna leave it at that.

James: so…about this muggle toy store….are we going?

Sirius: OH! YES! I wanna go! I wanna go!

Remus: Where is it?

Lily: OMG. Yeah, I'm gonna go with you guys so you don't end up killing someone or worse.

Sirius: What's the worst that could happen?

Lily: Do you really want me to answer that?

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At toys-r-us

Sirius: ooh! Pretty shiny colors!

James: wow…..

Lily: you guys sound like you're two.

Sirius: She make me cry! starts crying like a two year old.

James: it's okay pad foot. The mean red-headed lady won't hurt you anymore.

Lily/Remus: snort.

Sirius: sees a kid walking out with a bicycle. I want one! runs up to kid, steals the bicycle, and rides into the store. The kid starts crying.

James: runs after Sirius. I wanna play too!

Lily: to Remus. Do you ever stop and think "Wow, I'm friends with these idiots."?

Remus: Occasionally. But then I just suppress it. Wait for me! Runs after James and Sirius.

Lily: Wow. Shrugs. Rolls eyes, follows.

Sirius: crashes bicycle into cage of balls. The cage breaks and all the balls burst out. AHHHHH! Lily they're hurting me!

Lily: and you expect me to help you? walks over and starts talking to some bored-looking teenager.

James: Hey! Mine! grabs Lily's shoulder and pulls her back.

Lily: What the heck…..

James: I'll explain later.

Sirius: finds way out of balls. Sees power wheels motorcycle. OOHH! MINE! jumps on the motorcycle and presses the pedal. Starts doing pop-a-wheelies. Why can't it fly?

Lily: pulls Sirius off. When you get older, you can get your own motorcycle and enchant it to make it fly!

James: starts driving power wheels SUV. WEEEE!

Lily: looks at Sirius. I'll be back! Stay! runs after James.

James: crashes into a giant pile of care bears. MOMMY! starts crying.

Lily: Why am I surrounded by imbeciles? runs over to where James is. Want me to kiss it and make it better?

James: perks up. YES!

Lily: oh please, you're not two.

James: looks crestfallen.

Remus: leaning against a wall reading a book. Never taking eyes off book, says flatly: Oh James, Sirius. Stop. Can't you see the madness you're causing?

Lily: apparently not.

James: finds a James Bond action adventure set. James Bond. James Bonder. James Botter. James Potter. Harry Potter. James Potter. Close enough. starts unwrapping and playing with it.

Lily: bad James! No!

James: pulls out fake gun and starts pretending to shoot people. I'm JAMES POTTER!

Lily: If you put the gun down, I'll kiss you.

James: Stops. Really?

Lily: grabs gun from James' hand. No.

James: cries.

Sirius: picks up a price tag shaped like a hamster. Walks up to goth. I'd like to buy this.

Goth: I don't work here.

Sirius: God! But your wearing a uniform!

Goth: no I'm not.

Sirius: What is with you people and pretending not to be what you are so you can avoid helping me?

Goth:…

Sirius: Oh, so now you won't answer me! My emotional cup is just overflowing! I cant take this! I'm going to have a mental breakdown!

Goth: runs away.

Sirens are heard and police enter the store.

Mother of the bicycle kid: points to Sirius. Him! That's the man who stole Timmy's bike!

Sirius: Oh that kid?

Police: start running towards Sirius. Guns raised.

Sirius: LILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! And what are those?

Lily: It's your own fault. And those are guns. ponders this. Decides to add: They kill people.

Sirius: REEEEEMMMUUUSSSSSSS! LILEEEEEE!JAMUS! HELP! CALL 919! THE PEASE EASE ARE GOING TO KILL ME WITH THEIR GUNS!

Remus: Looks up from book for one second, looks back down.

James: bouncing on bouncy ball. I am just another person. I do not know who this is or how they know me. And I don't know how his name is Sirius or how he's been knocking down everything. Or that we are both wiz Lily slaps her hand over his mouth before he can continue.

Lily: I do not know these people. runs away.

Police arrest Sirius after a car chase of Tonka trucks.

Sirius: But I never got a present for Sitrus!

Remus: we'll get it for you before we pick you up at the police station.

Lily: walks up to James, gives him kiss on cheek. Then gags. That was for not killing anyone.

James: Smiles and rubs his cheeks. YAY!

Lily: You still never told me why you pulled me away from that guy.

James: Well…….let's go home!

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So that is that. And a hat is a hat. Where da biddies at? Seriously where are they?

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