Entranced
Ron, Lee, Tommy and Fergus sat around the kitchen table at The Burrow and watched Tonks place a leather bag on it. She pulled it open and removed seven racks of small glass phials, setting them down side by side along the centre of the table.
"What yeh doin'?" Fergus asked her as he looked from a memory of his of being buried alive to a pair of his and Lee's memories of being trapped down the deep hole in the ground with Ron, Dean and Colin while Jack Sloper was murdered out of sight.
"I'm returning your property as I'm required to by law," Tonks said in an unusually business like manner.
"I don't want 'em," Lee said, looking as if he was about to throw up and pushing his chair away from the table, shaking his head.
"I can destroy them for you if you ask me to, but I have to do it at your specific request, in front of witnesses and in front of you," Tonks explained sympathetically. "Oh lads, I'm really sorry. I didn't want to have to bring this to you but they're your memories and we have to give them back to you."
"She put this moment off as long as she could, boys," Lupin said with a kind smile, squeezing Tonks' shoulder reassuringly.
"All of 'em," Fergus said abruptly. "Destroy all of 'em. I don't want 'em back as vivid as they were. Just pour 'em down the bog fer all I care. I want nothin' teh do with 'em."
Fergus got up and left the table, stepping out into the back garden where Seamus was waiting for him anxiously.
"He'll have to come back inside for the obliteration," Tonks said as she peered after him through the glass pane in the door.
"Let him have a moment," Lupin said before nodding towards the others. "Let's see what these three want to do."
"Smash 'em," Lee said immediately. "That stuff can only be exploited by sickos and the likes of Skeeter and I want them gone!"
Tonks nodded and looked to Ron and Tommy.
Lee gave Ron a pat on the back and a sad smile. Ron frowned and turned to Tommy who was looking at him thoughtfully.
"Well?" Tonks asked.
"Well," Ron said before rubbing his hand over his hair roughly and sighing deeply. "I don't want to put it back. My Healers want less on my mind not more, I'm not sure...not sure I can cope with it at the moment, y'know? Sei-Seizures and that?"
"I think that's a wise choice, Ron." Lupin smiled warmly.
"But..." Ron began before looking at a rack of phials with his name on it and then looking at Tommy again.
"Ron," Lee asked with concern, "what's up? You can't want to keep them."
"Lee," Tonks said warningly, "let him decide for himself what he wants."
"But..." Lee began before holding his tongue with great reluctance and watching Ron and Tommy staring at each other.
"Tommy?" Tonks said encouragingly. "Do you know what you want to do with yours?"
Tommy nodded and smiled at Ron.
Ron sat back in his chair and exhaled deeply.
"Oka-kay," he said with a nod.
"Okay what?" Tonks asked, leaning forward.
Ron swallowed and reached forward to search through the phials before pulling one out and handing it to Tonks.
"In that one," he said without looking at the silvery liquid he was referring to. "I wan-wanna extract the bit where Da-Dan-Danny talks about his girl. I wanna give it to her so she can decide to look at it or bury it or...or something."
"Yeah," Tommy nodded emphatically, "I want to edit all my memories of Danny, everything I think his family would be proud to see, and I want them to have it."
Tonks gaped at the boys and Lee suddenly began to rattle through his own phials.
"I have something," he said frantically. "Take Danny's memory out before you trash the rest of mine. Let the Prangs have it."
Ron smiled at Lee who nodded now that he understood the unspoken mission.
"Ask Fergus if he wants t—" Tommy began but Lee was up and out of his chair straight away.
Ron watched Lee jog out the door to fetch Fergus and looked back at Tonks and Remus.
"They di-didn't even get a body."
Tonks felt her heart ache in her chest and Lupin sank down into the chair beside her.
"That's a very generous thought, boys." He smiled at them sadly.
"They should get something to put to rest." Tommy nodded.
"And his girl," Ron said, voice wavering, "he wanted her to know and I b-b-ballsed up the message with my stutter. I want her to hear it from hi-him."
"Ron," Tonks said, eyes stinging, "I spoke to everybody during the trial and I know you didn't mess up a single one of those messages."
"St-still," Ron shrugged, "I want her to have it."
"An' I think we should give Maccario's fiancée that big speech of his about the first time he saw her," Fergus said from the doorway. "I'll find it in here and pull it out fer ya."
The Irishman approached the table and began searching through the phials with a determined look on his face.
"Cally's kids should hear the way he talked about their mum," Lee said as he suddenly remembered another conversation they once had in the cells with a hint of a smile ghosting over his lips. "I always remember the way he described her. They should have that. I'll find it, I have that one."
The kitchen was suddenly filled with the clinking of glass phials and all four boys suddenly seemed much more at ease to be face to face with their memories. Tonks took Lupin's hand and squeezed it. It was amazing what those four men could do when they were all working together.
Harry listened through a crack in the door as Percy explained to Charlie and his parents why he could do nothing to stop Bairstow Eves from contacting Ron on behalf of his client.
"It's legal documentation, Mother. I could go to Azkaban myself for intercepting something like that," the bespectacled Weasley said with a weary sigh.
"But his stress, Percy," Molly sniffed, wringing her hands. "His Healers said we had to do what we could to reduce the stress."
Arthur comforted his wife as Charlie paced up and down, face focused into an expression of intense concentration, while Percy straightened his glasses on the bridge of his nose.
"I tried to get a restraining order on medical grounds," Percy said hopelessly. "I explained about Ron's seizure the other day but they...well they...um..."
Molly broke away from her husband and grabbed Percy by the shoulders roughly.
"What did they say, Percy?"
"Mother, I didn't tell you but I've referred a specialist Healer to Ron. It's covered on my Ministry health care plan, potions and rehabilitation sessions are all paid for by the Ministry. I put Ron's name down as my dependant and..."
"Ron is not dependant on anyone!" Charlie snapped angrily. "Especially not you!"
"Charlie, don't!" Arthur warned his older son. "Percy's explaining how he has pulled strings to get your brother the highest standard of care from St Mungo's."
"He doesn't need care!" Charlie yelled. "He doesn't need Healers, he's got us! He's got Hermione. You all saw how well she's handled him and how much better he's been doing. Harry and Lee do all the speech therapy with him now--he doesn't need your specialists, Percy."
"Well, Madam Boo thinks otherwise," Percy said, head bowed and chin resting upon his chest.
"Who in Merlin's name is Madam Boo when she's at home?" Charlie exclaimed. What?
"She's a very well-respected Healer of emotional trauma and I spoke to her about Ron. She spoke to Ron herself and she thinks she can help him."
"How?" Harry asked as he stepped into the room, not caring that he was giving away the fact he'd been listening in behind the door.
"She can help Ronald organise his thoughts," Percy said, lifting his head. "She said he has to learn to live with what happened rather than try to hide it from himself. She said that..."
"You said she'd spoken to Ronnie already?" Molly asked, dabbing her eyes with a dishcloth.
"Well, I tried to get Hermione to suggest Ron go to see her, but apparently it didn't go down too well and that's when he became clingy and dependant on Hermione," Percy said with a weighty sigh.
"Hermione's been doing a fantastic job with him," Harry said proudly yet defensively. "Don't you dare put her efforts down."
"I wasn't," Percy said calmly. "I wouldn't dream of it, but Hermione can't cope with everything Ron has to deal with and Madam Boo can. We really need to get him to go to her."
"Because our Ron has always responded so well to being pushed into doing things he doesn't want to, hasn't he?" Arthur chuckled bitterly.
"Well, we have to be very tactful and subtle about it, I admit that," Percy conceded before glancing at Charlie. "I'll get you a dictionary if you want to look those words up, Charlie."
"Oh, you always have to push it, don't you Percy?" Harry spat angrily.
Molly came between Percy and Charlie, arms spread wide to hold her sons apart, while Arthur pushed Harry back into the wall beside the door with a grunt.
"That's enough!" Molly yelled. "I will not see you all fighting each other over who gets to help Ronnie recover. I will not see him getting so upset his poor head goes on the fritz again."
"Your mother's right, boys," Arthur said firmly. "Seizures are dangerous things and we should be trying to keep Ron from ever having another, not fighting each other over who gets to cause the next one!"
"Father, I wouldn't..." Percy gaped in horror.
"Dad, it was him who was antagonising..." Charlie sputtered as he pointed at Percy.
"I'm really sorry, Mr Weasley," Harry muttered as he looked down at his shoes guiltily.
"You know what my grandfather used to say?" Arthur said as he let his body relax and patted Harry on the back while addressing his headstrong sons. "He used to say 'There's no point putting a repelling charm around your cake if there's already something in the middle eating it from the inside out!' and coddling Ron isn't keeping him from getting eaten up by this."
"Oh, Arthur," Molly said, face crumpling.
"We don't know how to get inside without doing harm to the outside, so let's see if we can make Ron's outer shell feel safe enough for him to have the strength to go to her and help with what's troubling him inside."
"How do you mean, Mr Weasley?" Harry asked quietly.
"I think he means we get Ron feeling confident and strong and then let Percy suggest the specialist again," Charlie said stiffly.
Arthur smiled at his older son before looking at Percy, who nodded.
"She said she'll see him anytime he's ready."
"It was you!" Ron's astonished whisper over Harry's shoulder made him jump.
Ron stared at Percy with a look of total betrayal in his eyes before turning and running from the room.
Harry moved to go after him but Arthur held him back. Percy paled and took a step forward but Charlie stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder before murmuring to him to Floo to Hermione's parents' house and fetch her right away. As Percy disappeared in the living room fireplace, Charlie wrapped his arms around his mother tightly.
"We'll let him rant to Lee and the others until Hermione gets here and then we'll try to explain it to him, alright?"
"I don't want to talk to her!" Ron said, pacing around on edge before Hermione and Charlie. "I don't want her putting wo-words in my mouth and twisting things round. I don't want another person inside my h-h-h-h..."
Hermione hurried towards him and stopped before they bumped together, opening her arms to him urgently. Ron fell into her tiredly.
"Head!" Ron said, voice muffled into her shoulder. "My head's too full. I don't want any more, Hermione."
"Madam Boo will take some of the pressure away, Ron," Hermione explained as she held him to her and rocked from side to side. "She can help you organize your thoughts. She won't be stomping through them. You wouldn't even have to let her in, just let her help."
"Like when somebody holds a rubbish bag open for you to chuck stuff into," Charlie chipped in, a hopeful look on his face.
Ron looked at Hermione and dipped his head like a scolded puppy.
"Can't you do it instead?"
Hermione sighed and shook her head, shoulders falling.
"I wish I could. I've read so many books, Ron, and you know as well as I do books don't solve every problem."
"You can, though," Ron nodded with a scared kind of conviction.
"Ron, I can't. I can back up other people but I can't..."
"You helped with the speech therapy." Ron said, becoming his familiar difficult self.
"I followed the plans of the professional speech therapist you saw." Hermione reminded him.
"Look, Ron," Charlie said as he sat upon the kitchen table beside them, "we're not trying to get rid of you."
"No!" Hermione added, looking mortified.
"We're not handing you over to somebody else because we can't be bothered anymore." Charlie went on, "We just need to be shown the way. We need direction as much as you do."
"That's it exactly," Hermione nodded with a smile.
Ron drew a weary breath and rested his forehead against Hermione's.
"I don't wanna," Ron mumbled petulantly. "Can't you go and talk to her? Sh-She can tell you what to do and then you can do it with me."
Hermione pulled him into her embrace once again. "I wish it was tha--"
"Please?" he squeaked into her hair.
Hermione glanced at Charlie and rubbed Ron's back.
"Well, he's meeting us half way Hermione," Charlie conceded with a shrug, "and you did say you'd been reading up. Was there at least one thing you saw that you wanted to try?"
Hermione bit her lip and nodded. Ron pulled away to look at her, not quite daring to hope.
"Do it," Ron said with a broken smile. "Whatever it is, do it. I trust you. I l-love you."
Hermione ran her fingers through Ron's messy fringe lightly and then pulled his head back into her shoulder before rocking them from side to side.
"I k-know you don't wan--" Ron began, but Hermione shushed him and carried on rocking.
"I want to listen to you breathe for a while, okay?" she said soothingly and Ron nodded. "Just hold me and breathe with me and close your eyes."
Hermione glanced over to Charlie who shifted uncomfortably on the table. He made a pointing gesture from himself to the door and then shrugged. Hermione gave the slightest shake of the head to tell him to stay. Charlie settled back down and watched them both.
Hermione could feel Ron's chest moving against hers, his back easing in and out against her hand where it rested between his shoulders, and began to speak into his hair soothingly.
"It all just lifts away, Ron."
His breath warmed and moistened her neck as he exhaled.
"If you listen now, you'll hear nothing, all those noises are being turned down as if they're coming from your mother's wireless and she's turning it off for the night because it's getting late."
He breathed in deeply and his narrow chest pressed into her breasts.
"I'm not hiding you. I'm not holding you to hide you away. I'm just holding you up..."
Ron made a comfortable sound as he exhaled into her skin once again.
"...I'm holding you up because your whole body's so very tired and heavy now." Hermione said as she felt him going limp in her arms and widened her eyes in alarm at Charlie.
He wasn't supposed to go this quick.
Charlie sprang off the table just in time to catch Ron as he slumped completely and Hermione overbalanced under his weight and staggered forwards with him. Ron's head and both arms swung back behind him like a rag doll and Charlie took him from her before they both hit the kitchen floor. Hermione braced herself against the table and Charlie lowered himself into a chair with Ron sprawled over his lap. It was like a mighty warrior trying to brandish a soft strand of spaghetti as if it was a spear. Charlie's strength was let down by his height in proportion to Ron's.
Ron had never looked more like two arms and two legs just held together in the middle by a Weasley jumper.
"Did he faint?" Charlie whispered worriedly. "He's not having another fit is he?"
"No," Hermione said as she pulled up a chair and sat before them, reaching to stroke Ron's hair away from his face. "I'm touching your head now, Ron. Can you hear me?"
"Mm," was Ron's simple reply.
Hermione pushed her fingers through copper locks and then let her hand glide down the side of his face to hold it gently, her other hand raising to cup the opposite side.
"Still me, always me touching you, okay?"
Ron made another sound that was something and nothing at once.
"I'm touching you and Charlie's holding you and we're all going to keep on breathing," Hermione said as she gave Charlie a meaningful nod.
Charlie clutched Ron's limp body to his broad chest and took a deep breath in and out. As he repeated the action Ron mirrored his breathing and Charlie looked as moved as he had done when he'd been describing how he once delivered a cross-bred dragon that was part mammal and bore live young.
Hermione's hands slid down past Ron's neck and down to his shoulders.
"I'm moving past your throat and across to your shoulders and down your arms," she said in an almost sing-song voice, "and you just keep on breathing with Charlie, okay."
Ron tried to nod but his head was so heavy it simply lolled against his chest.
"Have you hypnotised him?" Charlie said, aghast.
"No," Hermione said as she dragged her hands past his elbows and along his forearms to his wrists where she paused to cradle them gently, "it's a relaxation technique I looked up when he had that awful nightmare and wouldn't leave his room."
"So we're making sure he sleeps?" Charlie said, happy enough with such a purpose.
"Well, yes," Hermione winced slightly as she released Ron's wrists and eased her hands back up his arms to his shoulders, "but first I want to try and find out exactly where...well, not where but..."
"Just do it, Hermione," Charlie smiled confidently, getting more comfortable on his chair and hoisting Ron up so his long legs dangled over the side of his thigh and the upper body was supported by his strong arms as he lowered his little brother before Hermione so she was looking down at his peaceful face.
Hermione took a bracing breath and leaned forward to whisper into Ron's ear.
"I'm right here, Ron."
Ron's breathing picked up speed slightly and he turned his heavy head away from her with a frown crinkling his forehead.
"It's still me, always me," Hermione whispered, knowing exactly what was upsetting Ron. "If you open your eyes, you'll see my face, not his. I'm the one who's whispering this time...next time...the time after that..."
Ron squirmed on Charlie's lap and Charlie looked to Hermione to make sure his instinct to hold Ron securely was correct. She nodded, fearing Ron was going to fall off Charlie's lap and onto the floor. Nothing could break the trust they'd just earned more than Charlie dropping Ron; that was the most important thing right now, it was all about Ron knowing that no matter how uncomfortable he might be, he could still trust them.
"Talk to him as you do it," Hermione said to Charlie.
"I'm holding on to you, runt, it's only me, okay?"
Ron's breathing was settling, although still not as restful as it had been before, and Charlie held his brother firmly to keep his from wriggling. Ron immediately moaned and arched his back but Charlie held him to his chest and began breathing deeply again.
"You know it's me because you know how to breathe with me, remember? We breathe together, you and me."
Hermione made an eye opening gesture with her fingers and thumbs and then pointed at Charlie before giving a nod of encouragement.
"If you open your eyes you're gonna see me. You know you're gonna see me, don't you?" Charlie said as Ron's body began to slump in his arms again.
"Ron," Hermione said as she shuffled closer, "tell us what you need that you don't feel like you can have."
Ron made a pathetically meek sounding noise at the back of his throat and shifted on Charlie's lap.
"It's me and Charlie here. There's nobody else. There's just the three of us in a wide, open white space and nobody can see us or hear us. There's nobody watching us. What do you need from us, Ron?"
"Slee..." Ron sighed lazily.
"Sleep?" Hermione clarified.
Ron drew in a huge breath and went completely limp in his brother's arms.
"No," Hermione panicked, "I didn't mean that as a command!"
Charlie frowned and shrugged.
"Probably enough for his first time though, eh?"
Hermione nodded sadly. Charlie got up out of the chair, cradling Ron like an infant giraffe, and nodded upwards.
"I'll take him upstairs and make sure he's settled. You warn Harry he'll be out of it when he goes to bed, okay?"
"So do you remember where we were when we got to this point last time, Ron?" Hermione asked as she let Ron's heavy body recline against her, his back crushing her breasts and his head lolling back over her shoulder.
She turned her head and could only see his prominent Adam's apple beside her. Ron was breathing calmly and hadn't been scared when she whispered into the side of his face. Ginny had asked to be involved this time and Charlie was down the hall making sure his mother didn't interrupt them with an offer of hot chocolate.
Ginny had taken off Ron's shoes, speaking to him in the same way Hermione was, reassuring him it was only her touching him and nobody else. She removed his socks with a vow that he could trust her at all times. She ran her hands up his legs to settle upon his knees and told him he could open his eyes whenever he wanted to and see her there.
"It's really me, Ron. These are my hands and I would never hurt you with them," Ginny said with a sincere expression on her face, wasted on her brother's closed eyes.
"Neither of us will touch you if you tell us you don't like it," Hermione said, her hand lifting so her fingers could play idly with his hair.
Ron's head still lolled over her shoulder and his breaths remained even and slow.
Ginny glanced up at Hermione worriedly and slid her hands one more inch past Ron's knees so they rested on the lower part of his thighs. They both knew that they hadn't done enough work to get Ron comfortable with even the suggestion of hands above the knee and below the waist. Hermione shook her head and Ginny lowered her hands again and rubbed up and down his calf muscles.
"It's okay, Ron, you can relax now. You can go to sleep if you want to." Hermione said as she turned her head and kissed his cheek gently. "Just tell me what you need from me."
"Slee'wme," Ron slurred throatily.
"What?" Hermione frowned as she cocked her head to listen more closely.
"C'mabed wi'me." Ron said, sounding as if he was already too far gone in the land of nod to communicate any further.
Hermione looked at Ginny sadly. Ginny gave her a smile that seemed to say 'See, he still wants you like that', but Hermione knew that Ron missing a physical relationship wasn't anything like Ron being able to handle a physical relationship.
Hermione tightened her arms around Ron's waist and hugged him. Her whole lap was numb beneath his weight but she didn't care.
"Ginny, would you go and get Charlie?" she asked her friend. "I think it's better if Charlie carries him to bed rather than we float him, the loss of contact might upset him."
Ginny suddenly got that determined, 'I know better than you' look Hermione dreaded so much and sat up on her haunches to speak clearly to Ron.
"Ron, it's Ginny. You can drift off for the night in a second, okay? First, you have to speak clearly for Hermione. You have to make her understand what you want her to do because she'll do it. She loves you, Ron."
Hermione's lip wobbled embarrassingly so she clamped it still between her teeth.
"Tell her what you want," Ginny demanded.
Of course, his bossy little sister could penetrate the deepest level of relaxation and stir Ron's mind back into some sort of focus.
"Don'wanna slee by m'self," Ron mumbled into Hermione's neck and he turned his head and his whole body to curl into her side. "Lay wi'me."
Ginny beamed at Hermione and Hermione burst into tears and held Ron close.
"I'll go and tell Charlie to flex his muscles," Ginny said smugly. "It looks like he's lugging you both to bed tonight!"
A/N waves to all the people who get the Bairstow Eves reference It's such a great Potterverse name!