A/N: This is the last chapter. I'm pretty pleased with how this turned out. I've tried to make the ending not too depressing and more hopeful. Reviews will be cared for and given a good home.

I Miss You Like Hell

Perry recalled talking to patients who'd lost someone close to them, and they'd say to him that nights were the hardest.

Going through this now, he didn't think it was true. It was all hard. Whether the sun was up or down didn't make the loss easier or harder.

He wasn't sure where the others were. Carla was usually the only one who came to see him and tried to talk. She would bring him in water as well, tell him that he had to drink. And he would take a sip, but he never felt thirsty. He couldn't bring himself to eat at all.

He was a least sleeping a little now, although his life when he wasn't asleep was so empty that it didn't matter much.

"Hey stud." Came an all too familiar voice. But it was the voice of the woman he'd spent the last three days mourning. He opened his eyes to see Jordan standing in the room, looking at him, a small smile on her face.

"Jordan?" He whispered, knowing it couldn't possibly be her.

"It's me." She replied.

Shaking his head a little as if that would make the image disappear, Perry was surprised to see her still there. "You're dead, so it can't be you. I must be hallucinating... or dreaming."

"Oh please, Perry, you're in so much denial! You spent everyday from Ben's death to his funeral talking to him, but I'm not real."

"How do you know that?"

"I spoke to him. He's here. Not right now with me, but where I am when I'm not here."

"Hell?"

Jordan cocked her head to one side. "You don't ever change do you. He's with Jack while I'm here with you."

"Jack." Perry repeated, thinking of his son. "What does Ben think of him?"

"Well he thinks that he's missed out on Uncle Ben a little too much, but they're making up for lost time."

"I got it, I am dreaming. It's too normal to be a hallucination, so it must be a dream."

"Perry, you're not dreaming. I'm here. Just you and me. You're struggling."

"Oh I'm sorry Jordan, I'd like to see how you'd cope if your whole family just died." Perry said angrily.

Jordan moved and sat on the bed with Perry. "It's not your time yet, Per. There's still things you've got to do here. Important things."

"I don't want to be here on my own."

"Sweetie, you're not alone. I'll always be with you. I mean, you're going to meet other women in time and dammit if I won't be looking over your shoulder making sure she's good enough for you."

Perry smiled sadly. "That's not enough."

"Look around you. Your friends have taken you in. DJ's moved out of his room for you. They don't know what else to do right now, you're gonna have to help them."

"Look I was miserable before I got back with you. I don't want to be that person again."

"I swear you won't."

"I don't listen that much to dead people."

"Look, you're gonna listen to me, because I'm not going to watch you waste the rest of your life."

"Jordan-"

"No. You have to start listening to me. First thing you need to do- get a shower and change your clothes. And by tomorrow, God help you, you better have put some sort of nourishment in your mouth or you'll be in real trouble." Perry nodded his head a little. "Good. Now, I no you don't want to do this, but you have to sort out the funeral. You know I've already made all the arrangements. It's all back at our place in my top drawer. I want to be out of that morgue soon." She saw the look of grief come back fully to Perry's face. Sighing, Jordan closed her eyes for a moment. "Perry, you can do this, you're strong enough."

"It's just so hard." Jordan nodded. "I just wish I could have been there for you or Jack before you went. I didn't even get to say goodbye."

"You don't need to. We're not gone. This won't be like Ben, I'm never going to go away for good, I'll always be there. You might not always see me, sometimes you'll just know that it's me there. I won't ever leave you." Jordan leant forward and kissed Perry on the cheek. "Now, start to move on. One step at a time."

Perry nodded.

The door to the room opened and Perry looked round. Carla walked into the room a glass of water in her hand. He knew Jordan would be gone if he looked round, but her words stayed with him. Move on.

Carla smiled at him, he was actually paying attention to what was happening around him which was a good sign.

"Hey." Perry said quietly.

"I bought you a drink." She said, glad that he was talking. It wasn't that he'd flat out refused to speak to any one, but none of them had been sure what they should say.

"Thanks, but I was thinking that I might grab a shower."

"Oh, sure." Carla said. "Well, let me go get some towels and stuff for you and you can get washed up."

Perry untangled himself from the bedsheets and made his way out the bedroom. He noticed the apartment was quiet and empty. "Where's your roomies?"

"Working." Carla called back. He nodded in response to the comment. Carla handed Perry two towels. "Okay, everything you need is in there, help yourself.

"Thanks." He said as he walked towards the bathroom. He stopped just inside. "I didn't just mean for this. I mean... oh, it's too soon." He continued in, closing the door behind him.

The funeral was one week and two days after they both died.

Jordan's mother, Wendy and Danni, her sister came for it. Perry hadn't spoke to either in a long time, but found them both to be comforting and supportive. And he tried to be the same with them as well.

He sat on the front row with them. Yet he had Carla on one side on him, and of course Turk next to her, and JD on his other side. A lot of people from the hospital had turned up.

He'd asked JD to make sure invited all the people that he thought would want to be there, and from the looks of it, they had all came. A lot of the board members had turned up as well. Perry thought about how many of them would have been at Quinn's funeral, and now that were at his daughters.

Jordan and Jack were buried in the same plot, mother and son together in death, as they were together in life. And their plot was next to Ben's.

Perry hadn't stayed long after the funeral. He really didn't feel like he had anything to say to anyone about losing his family. He went back with Carla, Turk and JD.

They all changed out of the sombre black outfits as soon as they returned home.

"What are you thinking?" JD asked Perry as the older man finished changing, hanging the suit up on hangers, even though he wanted to burn the damn thing.

"I was thinking about going home."

"Really?"

"Can't stay here forever."

"Are you sure it's not too soon?"

"No. But I managed to watch them being buried today so I think I might be ready for the apartment."

"If you want to stay longer, you can."

"Carla and Turk need their space. You need your room back. I'm gonna have to go back eventually."

"It doesn't have to be now. Just give it a few days and just let everything settle down."

"JD, I appreciate everything you've done, but don't try and sway me on this. I know what I'm doing."

"Okay, fine. " JD watched Perry as he went to leave the room so JD could change, but he stopped Perry before he got to the door. "You're probably say no, but I have to ask. If you don't want to be there alone, you know, while you adjust, I can stay."

Perry went to say no, but something stopped him. He was used to pushing the kid away, but he remembered what Jordan had said, he wasn't alone. If he kept pushing though, he may be. Deciding he wouldn't make a rash decision, Perry answered. "I'll consider it."

JD drove Perry back to his apartment.

He'd only been here once since the accident and when he'd come out, he looked pale and sickly. They hardly spoke on the ride over and Perry didn't invite JD up with him, but he went anyway. It was at the door that Perry faltered slightly. Once he was in, he knew that was it. He put the key in the lock and turned it, pushing the door gently.

It looked normal. But then, it would. There was nothing strange about the apartment itself.

"I'm just gonna, look around." He said to JD.

JD wondered into the room, closing the door behind him, ready to wait for Perry.

The first room he went to was the bedroom. And she was there. In all her glory, she looked as beautiful as the day he'd met her.

"I said you weren't alone, didn't I?" She said smiling at him. "Now don't say anything, otherwise JD will think you've gone nuts."

Perry closed the bedroom door and walked further into the room. Whispering so JD wouldn't hear him, he went immediately against Jordan's wishes to not speak to her. "I miss you."

"Honey, I'm still here. You're speaking to me, right?"

"But you can't stay here forever can you. You're gonna move on."

"Eventually." Jordan said.

"I wanted to tell you something. I never told you enough how much I love you. And Jack, I love him too."

"I know." Jordan said.

"Let me." Perry interrupted. He knew what he needed to tell her. "I wish I'd been there for you when you went. Wish I could have held your hand and kissed you goodbye. I wish that I'd known that we'd get separated so soon, because I'd never have taken for granted that you'd always be there for me. But because I love you, I don't want you to stay. I think, I'd like to feel your presence in a room from time to time, and know that you're looking over me, but I'll never be able to carry on if I can see you all the time. So I need you to do something for me. I need you to move on. Go take care of our son."

Jordan smiled. "I'm so proud of you." She moved forward, close to him and like she had done many times before, she kissed him on the lips.
He closed his eyes as he felt her touch. When he opened them, she was gone.

But he knew he wasn't alone.

JD listened carefully outside the door. He wouldn't usually eavesdrop, but he heard Perry's voice. He knew that he was probably talking to himself, a perfectly normal thing to do after all he'd been through.

But as he listened at the door, he could have sworn he heard Jordan's voice. He shivered involuntarily, as a whispered voice sounded next to his ear. "Bye DJ." He smiled then. He knew Perry was being watched over.

The End

'Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.'