A/N: Wow! 72 reviews! That's 12 a chapter! Yes, yes, yes! I have to admit, this is probably my favorite story (of my own) in the world. Reviewer responses at the end of the chapter, as is my new custom.

By the way, my Read-and-Time scores for the first 4 books are up in my profile.

IMPORTANT: is it true that there is a new fanfic rule against reviewer responses? If so, where can this be found? I don't want to break the rules… but until I see proof of this rule, I will continue the responses.

Also: Everyone has had ample opportunity to suggest a new pen name for me, and many have been submitted. Okay, not many… but a good few. I have decided to let you, the readers of MFBFTDE, decide. Send in a review with your vote in it. I'll tally it up, and providing I like the final decision, shall change my penname to the winning name. Just so you know, my OC readers are going to be mighty confused by all of this, so pick wisely. IF YOU HAVE A LAST MINUTE IDEA, you may submit it in your review, but do it ASAP. If I like it enough, I'll cancel the voting and add it to the list. The finalists are:

a) Mrs. Hubblekins

b) Mrs. Fluffers

c) Vile Love Dorr

d) Avada Cruimperio

ALSO: these names have a special relevance to this chapter. See if you can figure it out! First three people to get it will get… something! A prize!

Vote! Review!

Severus Snape Gets Some Hate Mail From Angry Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince Fans, and Marissa's Ex-Slytherin Friends, Like Draco and Blaise, Are Initiated To Become Death Eaters.

(aka what a long-ass title!)

Severus Snape sat at the Vile Love Dorr kitchen table, munching on a Pop-Tart and discussing new people to recruit with Rodolphus.

"Face it, Ro," Snape sighed. "How many pure-bloods are out there that'll join the Death Eaters and spy on the Order for us?"

Rodolphus shrugged. "Dunno. But I've got a list."

Snape rolled his eyes.

"Weasley?"

"Four are immensely loyal Order members, one's an estranged bastard, two have a partially Anti-Dark joke shop, one's Potter's best mate, and one's Potter's still-loved ex-girlfriend."

"Okay, so no Weasley. Hmm. I was thinking-"

But what Rodolphus was thinking will never be known, on account of the three owls that landed on his head.

"Ahh! Snape, get them the hell off me!" Ro flailed his arm and screamed.

Snape just laughed.

Finally, the owls hopped off of his skull and onto the table, where the Death Eaters noticed each was carrying a large bag, presumably full of letters.

Ro pulled one out. "It's for you, Snape," he said, peering inside a bag. "In fact… they're all for you!"

"Huh? Why?"

But that answer was evident after reading the first letter.

Dear Severus Snape (otherwise known as an evil, sneaking, lying, greasy BASTARD!)

You don't know, me, and you don't need to, but I am disgusted with you! How dare you murder Albus Dumbledore! You coward! He didn't even have a wand, you scum. After reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, I firmly agree that Harry Potter and the Heartless Greasy Git would have been a much more appropriate title. You are the foulest creature on Earth, and I hope you rot in hell!

Snape looked up, unsure whether to be amused or terrified.

Ro had been skimming a couple other letters. "Well," he said lazily, "most of them hate you and want you dead. But a couple think you did the right thing, a few pity you for being a pawn on Rowling's chessboard, and some nutty old lady from Pennsylvania wants to have- never mind. You don't want to hear. Even though that's probably the best offer you've gotten since Potter's had his scar."
Snape chose to ignore him, and instead greeted the figure coming down the stairs. "Good morning, Voldemort."

"…first that retarded old Hubblekins freak wants me to like pink and bunnies, then I find out Snape killed Mr. Fluffers, what next?"

"Er… are you alright?" Snape asked.

Voldemort looked up. "Oh. Hello. What're all the letters?"

"Millions of grandma's across the globe have felt the need to express their love for Snape," Rodolphus explained.

Bellatrix skulked down the stairs, but brightened when she saw her husband. "Morning, honey-buns!"

"Morning, snookums!" Ro replied, casting the letters aside and kissing his wife.

Snape gagged.

Voldemort cleared his throat. "If you two would stop being so revolting for a second, you could listen to me tell you that there's a Death Eater meeting in the basement in about ten minutes.

Bellatrix jumped up. "Ten minutes? I have to do my hair!" She sprinted upstairs, but not without a last "see you in a bit, darling-warling cutie-pie!" to her husband.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Snape decided.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fifteen minutes later, Voldemort had finally gotten everyone's attention. "Hello, minions."

"Hello, My Lord," they chanted.

"Today, we welcome some newcomers into our midst. Today, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle shall become Death Eaters."

A round of applause was hear, and Marissa could be noticed to be clapping the hardest for the boys (well, some of them) who had become her friends.

"They also are the first, in all of history, to become Death Eaters without getting the Dark Mark."

"But then how will you contact them?" Rabastan wanted to know.

Voldemort grinned. "Simple enough. All I do is fiddle with the fringes of it, and they will feel a warm, tickling sensation on their left wrists. It also, coincidentally, has the convenience of being, unless you don't want it to be, completely invisible."

"Nice," someone in the crowd remarked.

"So, um, since I don't have to brand you with my painful Mark, I guess… just take the bracelets."

The five of them unceremoniously took the jewelry and slid it on their arms. The crowd applauded again, and as Draco walked back to the crowd, Narcissa Malfoy rushed up to meet him.

"Oh, my God! My little Drakey-poo's all grown up! I remember when you were a little baby, sitting in your crib, staring at your little mobile, and oh, Lucius, remember how he used to love playing with little Ron Weasley? Oh, they were such good friends. Oh, Draco, I'm just so proud of you!" She enveloped him in a hug, tears running down her face.

"Um… Mum? Can you get off me?" Draco asked.

Meanwhile, Crabbe and Goyle were having immense difficulty getting the small bracelets onto their thick wrists.

Marissa rolled her eyes. "Need some help?"

Crabbe looked confused. "I'm not sure."

"Engorgio." The bracelets swelled up to twice their normal size.

"Wow, Goyle, look at that! They're big now!" Crabbe was stunned.

"Whoa… just like magic!"

"I know!" Crabbe breathed.

Marissa snorted.

"Are you okay?" Goyle asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, I was just laughing."

Crabbe's eyes filled with tears. "Were you laughing at us?"

Of course, you big dunderhead. "No, of course not, I'd never do that, Vincent," she soothed.

"P-promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Okey-dokey!"

Marissa ambled over to Blaise. Out of the five Slytherins, she had become closest with him, closely followed by Draco, who was currently being still sobbed over by his mother ("Oh, Draco, when the Pampers commercial said "I'm a big kid now!" I didn't realize how soon it would be true!).

"Hey, congratulations," she said.

"Thanks. You really made these cool-looking!"

At that moment, a particularly loud "Mum! Get off me! I have to go!" was heard from somewhere to their left. Blaise grinned. "Narcissa has no idea that Draco has to go meet Hermione. She's kind of… naïve about stuff like that."

"Hermione… isn't that Draco's girlfriend?"

"Mm-hmm, and she's in the Order."

"Does she know he's a Death Eater?"

Blaise snorted. "Of course. Why do you think he's been crying all the time lately? He just told her, and she dumped him."

"Draco cried?"

"Yeah… and finally she took pity on him and they're together again. But that doesn't hide the evidence!"

"…what?"

Blaise grinned wickedly. "You'll see."

Voldemort approached them. "Some of the guys and I are going out for some drinks. You want to come with?"

Blaise looked terrified. "No way, dude."

Voldemort smiled evilly. "Ah, yes, Zabini, don't think I've forgotten what happened at the Christmas party last year?"

Blaise's face immediately resembled the color of a tomato. "Nor have I," he muttered.

"What happened?" Marissa asked.

"I got so drunk that I thought a lamp was my girlfriend, and I-"

"Ew."

"Yeah."

Reviewer responses:

Sea4Shoes: Horcruxes rock! Glad you liked it, Wormtail won't be showing up for a while. He has to… recover. Physically and mentally. Not that he was sane to start with, mind you.

starrysthestral: Yes! Someone finally took my profile advice and read those fics! Those are such good stories (although they are M for a reason), and I like a lot, too. I'm glad you liked the last chapter.

Elfbrat18: I like Mr. Fluffers as a Horcrux, too. Personally, I think that J.K. Rowling agrees with me on that one, too. ;)

BigFatBirdWithNoLegs: BTW, I love your penname. It's hilarious. I hope that I'm right in the RAB mystery… and I have read JKR interview transcripts to prove it (on the Leaky Cauldron Website, in case anyone wanted to know).

AinoMinako: LOL. Harry is going to be in a lot of trouble for that one (especially seeing that he let in his best friend's boyfriends dad… dun dun duunn).

majhal: Is that good strange or bad strange? Well, seeing as how I myself am off my rocker… I hope it that's good.

Perilous: Thanks for the suggestion! I might just very well take you up on that idea… hee hee hee…

CherryIzzy: Hey, I have a happy dance too! And an accompanying song... just ask on of my friends about the happy song and they'll cover their ears and begin to cry… Voldy loves stuffed hippos? LOL, might be a little too long, though.

nightwishaddict: LOL, I'm glad that you almost fell off the chair- mind you, if you actually do, feel free to send me any hospital bills (I'll mail them to Voldy. It's his fault!) Thanks for the compliments smile

ciararocks: I hope I'm right with that RAB bit. If I am… oh I am SO going to do my happy dance (and song. See CherryIzzy's response for more info bout that).

Gemma: Just wondering… are you on my Alert List? Cuz you always are anonoymous, but you get the story so fast… anyways enough with my nosyness. I'm really happy that you think I'm hilarious and smart! (could you please send that to a couple of my teachers? See look, Mrs. blank, you get a smart AND funny student this year! LOL. Don't resign as a fan- I won't let you!

Caramel: I'm glad you liked it! I'm not sure if HP bashing was intentional or not... I agree, that kid's Death-O-Meter has been broken for the last sixteen years.

Hogwartsgirl52: Thanks! I'm glad you think it's really funny! I wasn't so sure on that one… hop you like this one too.

Red Bess Rackham: You know, last night, I was looking at my Alert List and I went "Red Bess Rackham? Has she ever reviewed?" and then I looked at your profile and went "Damn, she's not going to be happy with the Kid To Work day" since it was all D/Hr, and you don't like it… but I'm glad you read it anyways (so weird that you reviewed like an hour after I thought all of that). But then, since this is so not canon Draco, it's not really DHr. Right? Maybe… Anyways, I'm glad you liked it. Keep reading! Oh, and BTW I had Hermione "dump" Draco just for you. Feel honored.

iluvryan: I'm glad you liked it! I hope you like this chapter, too.

gopherisgood: Wow! I can't believe someone thought about my stories when they weren't reading them. I feel special. Maybe I'll have them pimp the company minivan (aka the Death-Eater-mobile).

FanFictionFantom: Glad you liked it! Trust me, you're not the only one hoping Voldy avada's her...