Disclaimer: Bleach and all affiliated characters and settings are the creative property of Kubo Tite and all companies holding title to its distribution. Used for non-profit entertainment purposes.
Warnings: crack, some strong language
I got double-bunny'd on this prompt with two very different ideas. I personally like how the first one turned out better, but I liked the second idea better to start with (but not how it turned out, bah!). Ah, well. The second one is posted in the next chapter.
July 11 Prompt: Brainwashing, take 1
Basic Training
Urahara strikes again.
Ichigo recalls thinking that the last experiment of Sandal-Hat's that he'd tried was bad enough – even if it did ultimately work – and then he wonders how in hell he got talked into it this time around. Some kind of mental training program for shinigami, or whatever the hell Urahara calls it. Fucking with someone's brains isn't exactly what Ichigo thinks when he thinks of a good time, but Urahara insists that it'll make him stronger.
Well, then. Doesn't sound half bad, which is why Ichigo is sure something will go wrong, but he's still curious and he knows that Urahara knows it'll be the selling point with him. But when Urahara starts sticking shit on Ichigo's head and face, he suddenly decides that thisisn't just a bad idea – it's a really bad idea.
Except... now it's too late to do anything. Urahara flashes him a deceptive grin from behind his paper fan just before he pulls out a remote – hey, where did that come from?! – hits a button, and suddenly Ichigo's world is white.
When Ichigo's vision returns, his head is pounding with the worst headache he's ever had, his hands feel heavy and bruised, and he's being restrained by a binding kidou. A quick look around tells him that Renji's there with Urahara, they're all in the training zone beneath Urahara's shop, and that the area's practically been decimated. Doesn't matter that it was a desolate place to begin with; it's clearly been pounded within an inch of its rocky life. Renji and Urahara look a little worse for the wear, too.
"Wh-what the fuck did you do to me?" he tries to say, but his voice comes out cracked and squeaky, like he's been using his voice too much.
"Just a little basic training," Urahara replies too easily. Ichigo doesn't miss the relief that seems to cross his features. "How do you feel?"
"I hate you."
Urahara doesn't answer.
Renji never mentions the incident again later – not even after booze and physical threats – and Ichigo is left wondering what the hell went on after Urahara had hit the button. Sandal-hat-bastard feigns innocence, but he never asks Ichigo to use that training program again.