A/N: Whoa! I drove up to Wisconsin this weekend, and I looked around at a stoplight, and get this: While I was listening to "Wannabe", by the Spice Girls, we had stopped at Potter Road, and at the corner was Bella and Luke's Hotdogs! WHOA! And, if you think about it, Luke's could be a combination of LUcius and DraCo. Weird!

OMG! 150 reviews! I love you guys so much. Reviews make me so happy!

MAJORLY IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE:

I'm posting a new story! Yay! Well, I probably am. I want to know what you guys think of it, cuz I don't want to put it up if no one'll read it. It's a Harry Potter parody of The Wizard Of Oz, starring Harry as Dorothy snigger, Ron as the Scarecrow, Hermione as the Tin (wo)Man, Neville as the Cowardly Lion, and of course your favorite evil wizard, Voldemort, as the Wicked Witch Of The West! Of course it's got my ever-present sarcastic humor in it, but it's going to be hilarious. What do you guys think?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Harry Potter. 

You guys are really going to get a kick out of this chapter…

Severus Snape Is On A Rainbow

Voldemort stared in disgust at the television. "No."

"Yes." Bellatrix hissed.

"Come on, Voldemort, it won't kill you. It's good!" Lucius added.

"I love it so much!" Draco piped in.

"I don't wanna!" Voldemort whined.

"Don't make me torture you!"

"Fine."

The Death Eaters gathered around the hotel's TV, as Bellatrix pressed Play on the DVD remote.

Words began showing up, announcing actors and crew members, and finally…

"The Notebook." Draco read aloud.

Voldemort whimpered.

TWO HOURS LATER

"That sucked." Snape declared. "I am never watching another chick flick as long as I live!"

"Me, too." Voldemort hurriedly agreed.

"Oh, shut up, Voldy, I saw you crying a half hour ago." Ro sniggered.

"So… what now?"

"Moulin Rouge!" Draco waved the DVD in front of the television.

"I'm hungry."

Lucius picked up the phone. "Hello, Room Service? Yeah, can we get some food up to room 313? Yeah… I don't know what kind of food. Good food? Something with sugar."

"NO!"

"Okay, ix-nay on that."

"Let me order." Snape snatched the phone away from his distraught co-worker.

"No, he'll ask for blood. Let me." Rodolphus took it.

"No! He'll get us sugar, too!" Blaise grabbed the telephone.

Voldemort kicked Blaise and picked up the phone. "Never mind. We don't need food. Actually, we're going to check out."

"Sir, it's eleven o'clock at night, I'm afraid-"

"I don't care! We're leaving! And we're not paying!"

"Not this again." Bellatrix groaned. She grabbed everyone's hands and Apparated them all back to Vile Love Dorr.

POOF

Avada Cruimperio appeared before them. "You know, I'm getting really sick of coming in the story every chapter."

"Hm… then WHY DO YOU?" Snape screamed.

"Because you brainless morons can't do anything right! You were in the Death Eater-mobile for a reason! Apparating does not make my readers laugh."

"You want them to laugh? Have them look at your face." Snape mumbled under his breath.

Avada slowly turned to face him. "What was that?"

Snape felt weeks of pent-up anger bursting out. "You heard me, you sick, vile, disgusting worthless excuse for a human being! I have had it up to here! I've put up with your twisted little games, but that is it! I can't take it any more! I hope you get run over by a car!"

Her jaw dropped. "Do you really mean that?"

"Yes!"

She shook her head. "You asked for it."

Snape blinked.

He was no longer in the kitchen. There was just… nothingness around him. He looked down. Oh, look. A multi-colored floor! Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indi-oh. Crap.

Snape was on a rainbow.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

He groped for his wand. Where was it? Where was it?

"Looking for this?" a voice asked sweetly.

He turned.

An old, decrepit woman was twirling his wand.

"Yes, thank you ma'am." He reached for it.

She smiled. "I don't think so."

Snape watched in horror as his wand was thrown off the face of the ear-er, rainbow.

"Wh-ho-wh-e-Arrgh!" Snape was at a loss for words.

"Oh, Snuggle-Sever-pie, don't feel bad," the woman said. "I still love you, even if you don't have magic."

Realization hit Snape like a bag of bricks.

"You!"

She smiled. "I told you, next time you're on a rainbow, take me with. And you didn't! So I had your lovely friend Ms. Cruimperio get me up here." Her grin became wider. "And now, it's just you, and me. All alone. With no one around for twenty million miles. What shall we do on our first date?"

"First date?"

"I agree, dinner sounds excellent!" A snapping sound was heard in the distance, and Snape found himself seated at a table.

"What do you want to eat, dearest?" she asked.

Snape closed his eyes and wished for a quick, painless death.

"Alright then, we'll both have escargot. And let's have a little mood music." She began to sing along, off-key, to the tune that had filled the rainbow. "Some-WHERE ooover the rainbow, waaaay abooooooove."

A few tears dripped down Snape's face.

The old lady looked concerned. "Snapey-wapey, do you have something in your eye? Do you need a tissue?" She pulled a huge pink handkerchief with the logo "World's Best Grandma" on it.

"Yes!" he sobbed, blowing his nose.

"Now, now, dearest, is something the matter?"

Snape was about to answer, but the thought of Avada Cruimperio made him cry harder.

A sudden bright light startled him.

He looked up.

Crap.

The bright light had been a camera flash. Avada Cruimperio grinned at him. "Blackmail!" she sang.

"I hate my life."

"Now, now, darlingness, you should be happy. You have people who love you. Like me. I've been meaning to ask you…"

She got down on one knee and popped open a box.

"Severus, I love you more than life. Make me the happiest woman on Earth. Will you marry me?"

The only thing Snape could think of was that her proposal sounded like the guy's from The Notebook. Then it sunk in. And he did the only sensible thing one would do in that situation: He screamed like a girl. And he ran.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" He jumped up and, arms flailing, proceeded to jump off of the rainbow.

Bad idea.

"Crap."

He waited for about five minutes for the big thunk that would mean that he had hit something and be dead… but it didn't come.

He opened his eyes.

He was sitting on the floor of Vile Love Dorr's kitchen.

"You back, man?" Rodolphus asked.

"Huh?"

"You passed out on the floor like ten minutes ago."

It had all been a dream, Snape thought in relief.

"Well, I'd better get going," Avada Cruimperio was saying. "See you all later. Oh, and by the way, Snape…"

She dropped something into his lap and vanished.

Snape unfolded it.

He stared in shock for a moment, and passed out once again.

Rodolphus picked it up. "Look, guys! I told you he'd been on a rainbow!"

Review (and mention what you thought of my new story idea)! Don't forget to check out my LiveJournal!