Chappie 2
16. The Comm system is not for personal music.
Just because you like the music doesn't mean everyone else does, Hoshi.
17. Alerts are for eminent dangers.
Not as buzzers for trivia games or if someone is going to hit you, Mr. Tucker.
18. Refrain from making Stargate or Star Wars references.
Trip will not answer to the name Michael and Sub commander T'pol will have you court martialed for calling her Jaffa-girl.
19. Decon is not for holding someone hostage.
I don't care if they won't tell you where they hid your plasma rifles, you can't keep them in there, Malcolm.
20. The ballistics lab is no excuse to blow something up.
I don't want to keep fixing the bulkhead panneling in there. Once in awhile I can understand but you scientists are supposed to be cautious.
21. The testing platform is not for warp surfing.
Commander Tucker designed that platform specifically for test firing large weapons safely. It is dangerous to go surfing on it without Emily knowing, Travis.
22. The transporter is not to be used as a threat.
The transpoter is still a little shakey when it comes to moving bio-matter. I would not wish to have any unfortunate accidents.
23. Holographic imagers are for educational purposes only.
I don't want to scare off any more ghosts, Engineering team.
24. Movie night is a privilege.
Should anyone decide to play confidential conversations again I will personally disban the entertainment. The whole world didn't need to know that Mr. Tucker likes to talk about his fancies in his sleep.
25. Hoshi does not teach swear words in other languages.
It doesn't matter if it's in Vulcan or Angel, it's still a swear word. The English ones work just fine for all purposes.
26. Do not feed Porthos cheddar.
You will have to spend the night with him afterwards. Crewman MacArther still complains that his quarters smell.
30. Do not hide the chocolate.
One-third of this crew is female. They will maul you to get at the chocolate. Ensign Mayweather is scared for life.
31. No condom balloons.
I don't care if T'pol blushes green. Don't make me ban condoms. Then you can't have sex unless you're really serious.
32. We do not have cheesy puffs.
Maintenance refuses to clean the cheesy residue off of the consols any more. If you really murt have them keep them in the mess hall, cheese and all.
33. No superhero references.
I know they are idols but you cannot call Malcolm and Trip Batman and Superman. Their egos are already over inflated.
34. No sugar before pod missions.
Captain Archer will not tolerate the rushes and fall offs. He will duck tape you to your seat for the entire mission.
35. No away missions when you're sick.
Your infections have the potential to kill other sentient beings. Their families will not take that well. Ellesworth still sports a burn or two from the Drakes they encounterd.