A/N: Oh my goodness! For the second time ever (AND in a row) I got over 20 reviews for one chapter! I am giddy with glee. AND I'm also in two c2's. I feel incredibly loved. Here are my selected review responses (three guesses as to why they're up here COUGHreviewskitCOUGH.

hogwartsgirl52: I loved the Voldie song! It was so funny! If you go to I - am - bored . com and type in Harry Potter in the search box, tons of funny HP links come up.
Riddikulus300: Yay! A new reviewer! I'm really honored to be put in your c2 AND with special mentions! I'm so glad you like my story!
Radszilla: Camping? That's a really good idea… perhaps in two chapters from now as I have something special planned for next week's chapter
Gemma: Tubular! I like that word! LOL. I was having issues with the review skit :sadness: Hopefully I'll do better this time!
Elfbrat18: Whoa! Zillions of ideas! I think Lucius would work better than Snape, because we know that's Snape's family was pretty abusive. And that's not funny at all. Like, if I even tried to make that funny, it would be so crude. Lucius works, though. Like, how did he turn out...er… like he did, if you get my gist, LOL.
I am a banana: Yay! Frenchness! JE TRES AMUSANT! My French teacher would be so proud…
ciararocks: Glad you liked it! Yeah, I know mon is French, LOL. I just thought it was Spanish too… what? I've never taken Spanish, okay? ;)
Jedi Knight Padme: LOVE the matchmaking (which is a real word, my spell-check liked it) ideas. They'll SO be up soon, with credit to you!
Jamc91: Okay, so I looked at the beta thing you suggested, except I think it's more for beta-ing full stories from the 1st chapter on. 'Tis a little late for that…
Eccentric Banshee: EE! You reviewed! Sorry, had to get that out of my system… that was the longest review I've ever gotten. Which is in no way a bad thing. I am so glad that you like my story! I'll probably never feel like it's as good as yours, which reminds me, I wanted to put a little thing in here about how people should go read your story:goes off to do that: And, because of your begging, Marissa is staying! Woo! Talk to you in your next review:hugs:
Alicethecatdemon: Woot! Another new reviewer! Glad you liked it.

ABOT THE BETA: Ha! Bet you thought I had forgotten, didn't you? Well, I didn't. I was really glad at the number of people that volunteered. And I wish I could pick all of you. But I could only pick one, so… congratulations, ciararocks! If its OK with you, I'll send you the next chapter by email when I've got it done.

Disclaimer: Hi, my name is Jo. And I work, in a Potter factory. I have a husband and a family. The other day, my boss came up to me and said, "Hey, Jo. Are you busy?" And I said, "WHAT DO YOU THINK, DIPSHIT? I WRITE THE $&!#$ HARRY POTTER BOOKS!"

That's J.K Rowling. Not me.

Lucius And Narcissa Go Gangsta!

Narcissa and Lucius walked hand-in handinside the Malfoy Manor. "Wow, Narcissa, we sure had a swell time today, didn't we?" Lucius asked.

"We sure did, honey!" his wife replied.

Draco slid down the banister. "What's up?" he asked.

"The ceiling," Lucius automatically answered.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Excuse me. How are you?"

"We're just dandy! Isn't that right, dear?" Narcissa said, turning to Lucius.

"Darn tootin', we are!"

Draco mentally groaned. "You guys are so old!"

"What do you mean?" Lucius asked.

"You guys talk like it's the 1920's!"

"We are not old-fashioned!" Narcissa exclaimed.

"Yeah! We're just as thigh-"

"Hip."

"-hip as those other parents!" Lucius finished.

"Sure you are."

"Oh, you think you're so cool, you little studmuffin, don't you? Well, we can be super-fly like everyone else!"

"Puh-leeze." Draco opened the refrigerator and swigged some pumpkin juice out of the bottle.

"Excuse me, young man! Were you raised in a barn?" demanded his mother.

Draco smirked. "Exactly." He headed for his room. "Stay out of trouble, you two."

"We'll show you!" Lucius screamed. "You and your coolie-o friends!"

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The next morning, Draco ran downstairs, hungry for breakfast. He had just sat down at the kitchen table with four waffles, when-

"Dad!" Draco gasped. "What happened?"

Lucius swaggered into the room a changed man. He wore an extra large black T-shirt with a picture of a Veela in a very revealing bikini. However big the shirt was, it didn't cover up his plaid boxers, which were revealed by the fact that his pants were sagged about four inches above his knee. His long, blonde hair had been gathered up inside a hat, which was on top of a do-rag.

"It's Lushizzle, fo' yo' info'mation!" Lucius-, er, Lushizzle strutted over to the fridge and grabbed a box of cereal. "You said you wanted a change, boy, you got a chizizzle!"

"Chizizzle?" Draco repeated in disbelief. Mom would come down soon, and beat the crap out of Lucius and everything would be normal again, Mom would be down any minute….

"My Lushizzle!" Narcissa cried, running into the room. Draco's mouth fell open. This person was not his mother. Her hair was in dreadlocks or cornrows or something very different from the normal ponytail. She was clad in a hot pink tube top that barely reached her midriff, and a jean skirt so short it looked more like a denim bar of soap than a skirt.

"What's wrong with you two?" Draco cried. "Dad-"

"Lushizzle!" his father corrected.

"Dad, I told you that Healer was up to no good when he put you on that medication. Come on, let's just go to Saint Mungo's, and-"

"I ain't goin' nowhere, you hear me? This is me, Lushizzle, yo' dad-"

"And yo' mom!" Narcissa added in. "Yo', kid, you want summin' to drink, ya hear?"

Draco numbly managed to nod.

Narcissa reached up to the top of the fridge to get a water bottle- and, in the process, nearly let everything fall out of her shirt.

"That is it!" Draco screamed. "I'm going to Blaise's house! His mom might be a slutty model with eight husbands, but that's better than you guys!"

"Yo, Drakizzle, why don't you wanna stay wit' yo' moma and dad, yo?" Lushizzle asked.

"Because you're scary!"

"Young mashizzle, you don't talk to yo' parents like dat, yo!" Narcissa exclaimed.

"Uh… I'd love to stay and, er, chat, but we've got a meeting at Vile Love Dorr in a half-hour and I've got to do my hair." Draco slowly backed away and bolted up the stairs.

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"Role call!" Voldemort sang out. "Avery!"

"He's sick," someone called.

"Marissa!" Voldemort moved on.

"Here," she said, not looking at Voldemort as she turned over a card. "Hah! An ace! Beats your king, Blaise!"

Voldemort rolled his eyes and worked his way through the list.

"Macnair!"

"Here!" called the man with the shiny axe on his lap.

"Lucius!"

Silence.

"Luuuucius?"

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"Come on, Dad," Draco pleaded. "We have to get to the meeting!"

"I ain't goin' nowhere, foo'!" Lucius said stubbornly, arms crossed.

Draco grabbed his arm. "You're going."

"Make me!"

Draco turned on the spot.

"Damn Side-Along Apparition!" Lucius muttered.

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"I'm giving Lucius three seconds to show up," Voldemort said huffily.

"He's not going to show."

"He better. Three… two…on-"

Slam.

"Dammit, Draco!" Voldemort cried, picking himself up from where the two Malfoys had appeared on top of him. "Your lack of coordination is really beginning to bug me!"

"Sorry if I figured that you wouldn't' be standing on the coffee table!" Draco said indignantly, muttering under his breath about how he had planned to Apparate on top of the table because he figured no one would be there.

"Anyways, where in Merlin's name is your father?" Voldemort demanded.

Draco sighed. "He's right here."

Voldemort instantly recoiled at the sight of the hip-hop-ifyied Death Eater. "Lu-L-La-Lo-" he stuttered. "What are you on?" he finally got out.

"Yo', why you be hatin', homie?"

"Oh, shit."

"You can say that again." Draco said.

"Oh, shit."

Draco rolled his eyes.

"How did Narcissa let him do this?" Voldemort asked.

"Let him? She's with him on this."

"See? Now don't you wish they had given you up for adoption?" Bellatrix asked.

Rodolphus faced his brother-in-law. "Lucius, why?"

"Yo, Draco was all like, Yo, man, you guys are old, yo. So I was like, Yo, you wanna mess? And he was like, no, brotha'. I'm so scared of you, yo!"

"That is not how it happened," a red-faced Draco said.

"Draco, if you don't get your father back to normal in fifteen seconds, I will make sure that you are physically unable to have any children," Voldemort warned.

"Well, it's not like he would have, anyways," Bella reasoned. "I mean, he is gay."

"Yeah, but, you heard what Nana said. They can do anything with magic these days!" Rodolphus reminded her.

"I can't picture Draco with kids. He'd probably accidentally throw them out the window."

"Hello! I'm right here!" Draco reminded them.

"Yo, Drakizzle, don't flip outta wack, yo!"

Voldemort grabbed Lucius's do-rag off of his head.

Lucius let out a high-pitched girlish sounding scream. "Give it BACK, yo!"

"Lucius. I'm going to count to ten. If you're not back to yourself by then, I'm going to take away Narcissa's wand and burn her at the stake."

Lucius remained silent.

"AND I'll throw the do-rag in."

"All right! All right! I give up." Lucius conceded.

Draco strummed a harp and sang, "Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"

"I take offense to that," Rodolphus said. "I'm Jewish."

"Oh," Draco said, throwing the harp out the window. "Sorry."

"See!" Bellatrix exclaimed. "I told you he throws stuff out the window!"

A/N: READ VOLDEMORT AND HIS FAITHFUL DEATH EATER'S LARKS by ECCENTRIC BANSHEE! THEY BOTH ROCK!

REVIEW SKIT TIME!

Draco: You know, I'm incredibly OOC.

Avada Cruimperio: I've noticed.

Draco: That pisses me off.

Hermione: Draco! Look at me! I'm pureblood and tall and hot and blonde and have huge boobs and have lost my brain! Let's snog!

Ginny: No! Draco's MY lover! Look at my cascading red hair and fiery temper! And my boobs are bigger than yours!

Harry: Ginny! I thought we had something! But now I'm dark, depressed, and I cut myself! Look at my scars! I miss Sirius! I want to slit my wrists!

Ron: What about our secret lover-ness, Harry? Now I'm going to join the Death Eaters and kill you:stabs Harry:

Snape: No! Harry! My lover!

Voldemort: AHH! Look at the pretty bunny! I want to feed you carrots, yes I do… :snogs rabbit:

Avada: Okay! Okay! I'll put you back in character! Just erase the sight of Voldemort snogging the bunny from my mind!

Draco: Okay. Obliviate!

Avada: How convenient. I've forgotten to put you in character. Oh well:skips off joyfully:

Draco: CURSES!