Chapter 4: Dinner Disaster

Elrond had a pained expression on his face as Iendil waltzed into the dining area and took the seat right next to him. Jo trailed in behind her…quite a ways behind her. The twins shot her sympathetic looks. Clearly they had heard her screaming in the halls.

All those present settled down to dinner, and a soft hum of conversation soon filled the hall amid the clink of silverware. Jo rolled her eyes. Of course, she got stuck sitting next to Iendil, who was escorted to another seat so that Arwen could sit. Iendil kept shooting Glorfindel furtive glances that Jo guessed were supposed to be seductive.

But failed.

Taking pity on Jo's plight, Elladan and Elrohir beckoned her over to the vacant seat next to them.

Feeling more grateful than ever before, Jo stood and turned to Iendil. "I'm going to—" she then noticed that Iendil was too busy making Bambi eyes at Glorfindel to even notice that the wine goblet she was filling was overflowing onto the tablecloth. "…Yeah." She left quickly.

Sliding into the chair with a sigh of relief, she let her head sink down onto the table.

"What are you doing?" came Elrohir's amused voice.

"Regaining my IQ…"

"Ah, so she's contagious?" Elladan smirked. Or so Jo imagined, considering her head was still on the table and the only thing she could see was the pretty embroidery of the tablecloth.

"Very. Watch out."

They laughed, and soon lapsed into a conversation in Elvish, no doubt about their upcoming scouting venture.

Jo wandered aimlessly around the halls of Imladris, not really caring where she ended up, as long as it was far away from…her. Over the course of the last week, Iendil had really mastered the skill of being both supremely annoying and ever-present.

Jo was so engrossed in her indignation that her wandering was stopped abruptly by…

A tree.

"OW! Sonuva—" she yelped, rubbing her throbbing nose.

A dry chuckle drifted around the tree trunk and Jo there discovered Glorfindel. She peered down at him, confused. He glanced up at her and sighed.

"I don't think I need to tell you of all people how hard it is to escape the attentions of your…companion."

Jo winced. "Well, after today, you'll be off the hook."

Glorfindel blinked at her expression.

"Strider is coming soon, is he not?"

The blond Elf lord nodded.

"The poor, poor man." Jo sighed, shaking her head sadly.

"You may want to warn the Lady Arwen…"

"I'd rather not…despite the saying, I really wouldn't blame Arwen for killing the messenger, in this case."

He let out a silvery laugh.

"But don't worry. I think my purpose here is to prevent her from messing things up. I'll think of something…"

Jo wasn't present Strider and the Hobbits arrived. She was up in her room, wracking her brains for a solution to the big, irritating problem that was Iendil Ancawen.

"Maybe I could kill her…no, I'm too much of a coward…I could get someone to torture her…no, she'd probably enjoy that…I could poison her…but Elrond already doesn't trust me, I can't go asking him for poison…" Jo lapsed into silence. "…ARGH!!!"

Only when a maid came to summon her for dinner did she leave the room.

Plopping down in her new seat, she let out a long-suffering sigh and dished some food onto her plate. She looked up and froze. Elladan and Elrohir were deep in conversation with a bearded man. He had dark brown hair and was the spitting image of Viggo Mortensen.

"Oh…CRAP. Today's the day?!"

The new man looked up at her, startled. "I beg your pardon, milady?"

Jo didn't have the chance to respond because the doors to the dining hall were suddenly thrown open with a terrific bang. All the Elves present jumped about a foot out of their chairs and clapped their hands over their ears in pain.

"ARYYYYYY!!!!!!!11"

Aragorn's face took on a deer-in-headlights look. Even with the dreadful nickname, he knew that the insane person at the door was coming for him.

Elladan cursed sharply in Elvish. Iendil was skipping gleefully (if not a little crazily) towards them.

Glorfindel turned to Jo. "Now would be a good time to put that plan of yours into action!"

"That'd be a lot easier if I actually HAD a plan!" Jo exclaimed.

"We really need to get Estel out of here!" Elrohir muttered; Iendil was close enough for them to see the glint in her eyes.

"A diversion, a diversion…" Jo murmured, thinking hard. Then a thought popped into her mind. "A-ha!" She ran.

Skidding right into Iendil's path, she stopped.

"Oh my Gosh, look! It's Legolas!" Jo exclaimed, pointing behind Iendil. The Sue let out an excited squeak and whirled around. While she was distracted, Glorfindel and the twins hurried a frightened Aragorn out of the hall.

After five minutes of looking behind her, Iendil turned back around, looking disappointed. Jo hid her smirk just in time. "Oh, man, that stinks. You just missed him."

Iendil brightened again. "Oh wellz! I have Ary anyway!!!" she glanced around. "Like, where is he?"

Jo came up with an excuse as quickly as she could. So of course it was quite lame. "Uh, yeah, you saw his, um…brother! Yes, his brother! Who is visiting for a little while!"

Iendil smiled. "Silly, I like know that Ary doesn't have like a brother!"

Jo's face fell. Crap. Did this Sue actually know something about the LotR universe?

"He does have quite a few long-lost sisters. I'm friends with a lot of them!" Iendil put in cheerfully.

Jo was not the only one who almost fell over at that comment.