xxx
chapter twelve
xxx
tremble with a sigh
glitter in your eye
you seem to come and go
i never seem to know
and all my time
is yours as much as mine
we never have enough
time to show our love
-Ride, "Vapour Trail"
xxx
"Okay, I think I've got something," Viv said over her shoulder from where she sat at her desk. She turned to look at him, waiving her hand in motion as he rose to stand behind her. He peered over her shoulder at the computer screen, and his eyes quickly scanned the information in front of him as she began to explain, "The name Kurt McCarthy that came up as the last number on Alexander's cell phone before he got into the cab after the party is actually one of Bill Maier's aliases. Maier has been heavily linked to GATA Highlanders for the better part of two years now."
Martin turned his body and leaned his back against the desk, rubbing his chin thoughtfully before asking, "The GATA Highlanders? Isn't that a group that passes themselves off as similar to the Nomads?"
Vivian nodded, casting a quick glance at the computer screen before continuing. "Yeah, that's the one. But they've been under surveillance by Domestic Terrorism for about thirteen months after being linked to a couple of ultra-right wing groups involved in attempted abortion clinic bombings." Vivian shifted in her chair and added, "I'm on my way to meet with Agent Williams, who has been heading up the investigation."
Vivian stood, pushing the chair back beneath her desk, and began to collect the files and paperwork that lay in front of her. She held the files in one hand and tucked her hair behind her ear with the other. He was still standing, leaning his back against her desk when she stopped in her tracks and turned around, a warm smile replacing the stern, business-like tone of their prior conversation. "Martin," she started, her tone now motherly and encouraging, "I know things have been pretty busy around here and we haven't had a chance to stop and catch our breath... But if you ever want to talk about it, you know you can come to me, right?"
"Of course," he returned her smile and exhaled, crossing his arms protectively over his chest.
She gave a small nod in affirmation and then turned and walked swiftly down the hallway, the click of her heels echoing behind her. And Martin found himself left alone in the bullpen with no leads to follow up on and nothing but his wandering thoughts to keep him occupied.
He shifted his weight forward and shuffled back across to his own desk to sit down. After several minutes of aimlessly rearranging several stacks of cell phone records and credit card statements, he allowed his thoughts to wander back to what Vivian had just said, extremely touched by her sentiments. Of all of his teammates, she was the one with whom he had felt the most consistently connected to during his time in Missing Persons. She was the first to really accept him in the beginning, offering him frank and honest advice to guide him through those rough first months before the others would fully take him seriously. And though at times he felt closer to Danny or Sam, those friendships included rocky moments that, barring the Reyes case, he and Vivian generally avoided.
It was just like Vivian to be worried about him during a time when she likely had no extra thoughts or energy to spare, but did so anyway. And her concern did not surprise him; even before her heart surgery a few years ago, she had always been more worried about the rest of the team than about herself...
Vivian's door opened before him to reveal her teenage son Reggie, whom Martin had met on a few occasions.
"Hi, Reggie," he greeted. "I'm here to see your mom."
"Hey, Agent Fitzgerald," Reggie replied politely, waiving him inside and shutting the door behind them. "My mom's in the kitchen. She told me you were going to stop by."
He followed Reggie through the hallway and into the kitchen, where Vivian sat at the counter reading a magazine and sipping tea from a large mug beside her.
"Mom," Reggie said. "Agent Fitzgerald is here."
"Thanks, Reg," Vivian replied, looking up from her magazine. "Have you finished your English homework?"
"Yes, Mom." Reggie rolled his eyes and quickly made his way out of the kitchen, anxious to avoid further nagging about his homework.
Martin laughed at her son's quickly retreating figure before turning to take in Vivian's appearance. She had risen from the stool to refill her mug, her bare feet padding across the linoleum kitchen floor. She was wearing a navy blue robe wrapped tightly around her and, although she was obviously trying to keep a high appearance of normalcy, the bluish tinge to her lips matched that of her robe.
"How are you doing, Martin?" She asked, sitting back down and patting the counter for him to sit next to her.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He said dryly as he obliged and took a seat on the stool as she had motioned.
Vivian shrugged and folded a napkin in half before placing it down on the magazine in front of her, marking her place.
Leaning forward, Martin peered down at the open page of the magazine and exclaimed, emphatically, "Don't tell me you've started reading tabloids!"
Vivian laughed and closed the magazine so that he could see the cover. "It's In Style, thank you very much. I don't usually read it, but Marcus has been bringing home magazines that students leave in the library at work because he's afraid that I'm getting bored and restless."
Martin shifted his weight back to the stool and rested an elbow against the counter top. "And are you?" Off her look, he continued. "Getting bored and restless, that is."
Vivian raised her eyebrows suggestively and said, "Well, I'm reading In Style. Am I not?"
Martin chuckled. "Touché."
Putting the magazine to one side and taking a long sip from her mug, she said, "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea? Water?"
"I'm fine, but thank you," he replied. He paused in silence for a few moments before collecting himself enough to ask, "How are you feeling, Viv?"
"Okay," she said resignedly. "Some days are better than others, but I'm trying to keep myself busy to take my mind off of it. I think Reggie bears the brunt of that, though. He wants this over as much as I do just so that I can stop nagging him about his homework." Vivian laughed softly at her own dark humor.
Martin reached out to touch her arm lightly and said, "Well, we miss you at work. Any idea how long your recovery time will be?"
Shaking her head, Vivian began to rattle off the facts as they had been explained to her. "It could be anywhere from a couple of weeks to a couple of months, they really have no way of knowing. It's fairly invasive, but they my doctor says the fact that I'm young is a good sign. After that, they will continue to monitor me to make sure I don't still have the irregular heart beat. It's called atrial fibrillation." Vivian looked pensive as she paused, breathing deeply and closing her eyes, showing vulnerability for the first time since he had walked in the door. "If they can't fix that, it means I will probably have to be on blood thinners indefinitely. And that's the best case scenario."
Martin sat intensely still, his own heart pounding in his ears as he took in her words in eerie silence. For the first time, he realized just how serious Vivian's condition was. And as reality sunk in around him, he stretched out his fingers, willing the pins and needles sensation in his neck to dissolve without much luck.
"Martin --" Vivian began. This time it was her hand that reached out, softly resting on his forearm. "I've been meaning to apologize to you." He looked up at her, incredulously, wondering what she could possibly have to apologize for. Lowering her eyes, she explained, "I'm sorry I asked Sam not to say anything about this to you. When she saw the Holter monitor, I panicked... I wasn't ready for anyone to know yet. I didn't want you to think any less of me."
Not fully able to process what she was saying, Martin instinctively replied, "I could never think any less of you."
Sighing deeply, Vivian shrugged her shoulders. "I just ... Don't blame her; she was only respecting my wishes. I would hate for the two of you to fight because of me."
Martin bit his lower lip cautiously and weighed out his response. "Vivian," he said finally. "Sam and I have plenty of other things to fight about. Believe me. We're both just worried about you."
Vivian curled her lips upward in a weak, knowing smile. "Alright. But still, I'm sorry. I know you two are close, and I don't want to get in the way of that."
Boxing off the part of his heart that grew tight with regret at any mention of Samantha, he replied earnestly, "Vivian, you could never get in the way of anything."
xxx
By 4:30 that evening, Agent Williams' team in Domestic Terrorism had taken over their missing persons case, which had turned out to be far more complicated than just a simple, misguided young man who had gotten mixed up in the wrong crowd. After Jack had announced that they could leave as soon as they finished their case reports, the rest of the team decided that getting off early on a Friday afternoon obviously constituted going out for pizza as soon as they were let free. Not entirely knowing what he was doing, he had left a message on Sam's voice mail telling her to join them if she was feeling up to it.
When Elena and Danny both rose to announce that they had finished, Martin still had several files left to review, and told them as much.
With a cautious smile, Danny suggested that he and Elena would go on ahead and get a table for them, and Martin shared a knowing smirk with Vivian. He recognized the mischievous twinkle in Vivian's eyes, having been on the receiving end of such looks when he had been with Samantha. As Danny and Elena began to collect up their things, they asked if there were any pizza preferences. But before Martin could answer, he felt the familiar buzzing of his cell phone in his pocket and held out his hand to motion for them to wait while he answered.
"Fitzgerald," he uttered into the receiver, not stopping to check the caller ID.
"Hey, Martin," Samantha's voice echoed through the other line. "I just got your message. I turned my phone off while I was at the doctors."
"Of course," he replied, surprised that she called him back. "Did that go alright?"
"Yeah, it did. They say my blood counts are close enough to normal now that I can come back to work on Monday if I feel like it."
"That's great," he said, and he ignored the strange looks he was getting from his three co-workers.
"Anyway," Sam began, "I just wanted to know when you were all headed over. If you're all still finishing up at the office, I don't mind going on ahead and grabbing a table before it gets too crowded."
Laughing quietly, he replied, "Danny and Elena are on their way over now to get a table."
He heard the chuckle in her voice as well as she said, "Always one step ahead... Anyway, I guess I'll see you all there."
"Sure," he grinned. "See you there."
As he closed his phone, Martin tried to ignore the way Danny's eyes narrowed suspiciously as his friend asked, "So, Sam is going to meet us there? Is she feeling better?"
"She sounds like she's doing well," he answered simply, busying himself at his computer.
A hand tapped him on the shoulder and he shifted around so that he was facing Elena. Her hands on her hips, she asked, "So, any pizza preferences? Or do you actually trust Danny to make the order on his own?"
Martin laughed and leaned back, stretching his arms tiredly as a thought played in his mind. Remembering the day Sam had admitted to her irrational childhood fear of tomatoes, he made his suggestion. "See if they have white pizza."
As Elena turned to leave, he swore he heard Danny muttering to himself that pizza clearly could not be pizza without tomato sauce, while Elena chided him that he did not have to eat it if he did not want to. Martin shook his head bemusedly and returned his focus to the case report in front of him, suddenly looking forward to the evening ahead immensely.
xxx