Hey everyone! I'm back! Thanks so much for waiting. Here's a longer chapter to express my gratitude!

Chapter 15: Ill

"Yes, Gimli, their own masters cannot find them if their secrets are forgotten."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Tee hee, like right cuz like Dwarves are like teh stupid, lolz!!"

Gimli scowled at Iendil and discreetly tripped her with the handle of his axe. It was funny, but not as funny as watching her try to toss her hair over her shoulder before remembering that she now had less hair than most of the males in the group.

Gandalf halted the Company in front of the doors and began to try and figure out the password. Jo sidled over to the still-grumbling Dwarf. She couldn't blame him at all for being called stupid by IENDIL, of all people.

"Master Dwarf," Jo nodded. He inclined his head in acknowledgement. Lowering her voice, Jo continued, "I wouldn't trouble yourself. We all know that you have more intelligence in your beard than Iendil has in her entire body."

Gimli let out a gruff laugh, and Jo left it at that.

"Ithildin. It mirrors only starlight and moonlight." Gandalf was murmuring to himself.

Iendil perked up. "Like, that's my two best friends!"

Gandalf turned to her, looking confused.

"Begging your pardon, Lady?" Aragorn asked, equally mystified.

Iendil looked at him, noticed the grease in his hair, and shuddered delicately before answering. "Like Starlight Rainbowunicorn and Moonlight Cupcakefairy."

There was a long silence, which seem to be quite abundant whenever Iendil opens her mouth to say something ridiculous.

Jo gaped. "I…think I speak for everyone when I say… 'WHAT?'"

Iendil sniffled. "I like miss them so like much…I wish they were he—"

Jo clapped her hand over the Sue's mouth before she could wish her little buddies to Middle Earth. "Uh, no you don't! They would…um…steal your spotlight!"

Iendil mumbled, "Bff hrr hffmmf." Which roughly translates to "But you're here."

Jo was running out of excuses. "Uh…well, I don't…I…" Seeing only one way out, she steeled herself for the worst, "…I don't possess your ravishing looks and charm…"

She then released Iendil's mouth, thoroughly horrified with what she just said, and staggered off into the woods to lose her lunch. Legolas followed, concerned, and somewhat amused.

Iendil watched him go. Or rather, she watched his arse go. "She is like so lucky! I may like be like prettier and like charminger, but she like got the hot like elf prince..." she sighed.

"Hey, Merry?"

"Yeah, Pip?"

"How come Legolas and Jo are so good at pretending to be betrothed?"

"Keep your voice low—Iendil's not supposed to know that!"

"It's okay, she's chasing after Frodo right now."

"Should we help him?"

"Nah, Sam's pulling out his frying pan. He'll be alright."

"You still never answered my question."

"That may be because I don't know the answer."

"Let's ask Boromir."

"Alright."

Boromir looked up with a smile as the two Hobbits wandered over. "What seems to be troubling you two?"

"Boromir…are Legolas and Jo really betrothed and not just pretending?"

Boromir's eye widened. "Why…what…what do you mean?"

"They either aren't pretending, or they are very good actors." Merry clarified.

Boromir REALLY didn't know how to answer that (even Elrond probably couldn't), but he was luckily saved by the Frodo running by with Iendil on his heels and Sam on her heels. Swinging his frying pan around, trying to clip her over the head.

Although it was quite comical, the three spectators felt compelled to help Frodo out. Luckily for him, Merry had a plan.

"Look, Iendil!" he exclaimed, pointing in the opposite direction from where the 'betrothed' couple had disappeared several minutes previous, "Legolas wants to take a bath in the river, but he needs help getting all his clothes off!"

"AIIEEE!! WHERE???!!!"

Iendil sprinted off immediately in the direction that the smirking Hobbit was pointing, forgetting all about the half-dead Frodo. Said Hobbit collapsed wheezing onto the ground once the coast was clear.

"That woman will be the death of my sanity!" he coughed.

"She's an insult to women everywhere—we'd rather you not classify her with us," Jo sighed, plopping down next to him. She had just returned from being rather messily ill on the forest floor, with a very sympathetic Legolas rubbing her back. That was rather nice of him…I wouldn't have come within ten feet of me back there…

Jo grimaced. She had been a mess. She always was when getting sick. Must have been something she ate. Or the fact that she…well, complimented a Sue.

She shook her head. Never thought the day would come when I would commit such a foul atrocity.

A calm fell over the camp. Every once in a while, Iendil's voice could be heard distantly in the forest. "Legolas!...Where are you?...Legolas!"

"So this is what it's like in camp without…Lady…Iendil." Aragorn mused. "…I rather like it."

"That makes, what, ten of us?" Jo murmured, curling up on her bedroll.

"Are you well, Jo?" the Ranger questioned.

"Been better, but I'm fine." She caught Legolas's eye from across the clearing, and saw the pity in his eyes. "But would you mind telling Elf Boy to stop feeling sorry for me?" Jo added, knowing full well that Legolas could hear her.

The Elf stood. "What do you mean, Lady Jo?" he walked over. "You were…quite violently ill just now. To a degree which I have never seen."

"I know Elves don't get sick, but think I'm weak because I caught a little bug!"

"Lady Jo, I think you are overreacting—"

He was interrupted by her snoring. At first he thought she was being rude, but he then saw that she was, in fact, fast asleep.

Even Aragorn and Gandalf had no clue what to make of the strange events they had just witnessed.

"Humans are odd." Legolas whispered.

TBC….

OK, sorry, so it wasn't very long. But I've been having some crappy, busy days, so my inspiration is pretty low. But I will try to update soon.

CRC