Narrator: The Fellowship journeys to the Giant Eagles and Gandalf has a... conversation with the Eagle King.

Eagle King: Caw! Caw caw caw!

Gandalf: Caw, caw caw!

Eagle King: Caw. Caw caw?

Gandalf: Caw... ca-aw caw caw caw!

Eagle King: Caw... caw, caw caw caw.

Gandalf: Caw?

Eagle King: Caw, caw.

Gandalf: Caw caw, caw!

Narrator: Wow. That was extremely boring!

skyheart15: When I wrote that, I was actually thinking about what they were saying. I wrote it with the correct punctuation to go with it!

Narrator: So, Gandalf goes to tell the Fellowship what the Eagle King said...

Gimli: So, will they take us too Lothlorien?

Gandalf: Yes...

Gimli: Good. Let's go every one. We're gonna fl...

Gandalf: HEY! I WASN'T FINISHED! (takes a deep breath) They said that we need to build them a nest first.

Aragorn: How big?

Gandalf: Hmm... I believe he said to make it fit ten eagles.

Narrator: Oh, and Boromir isn't dead because Gimli made everyone come back to life except Sauron. He can do that because he's a king. He can do whatever he wants except fly...

Gimli: That gives me an idea...

Narrator: ...or make it so that that rule wasn't there.

Gimli: Oh, crap.

Narrator: Anyway, Boromir isn't dead.

Boromir: But one giant eagle is, like, ten feet long! That makes ten... (does some calculating) ...ONE HUNDRED FEET!

Everyone except Gimli: NO WAY!

Gimli: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Everyone except Gimli: WAY!

Gimli: That's what I thought you said. (big grin)

Narrator: So the Fellowship gets to work collecting sticks. (pause) Five hours later...

Pippin: Can we (pant) take a (pant) supper break?

Gimli: No.

Pippin: But I really think we sh...

Gimli: I said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Pippin: (quiet and squeaky) Okay. Back to work then...

Narrator: 7 days later...

Gimli: (happily and quickly building the nest)

Aragorn: (lying against tree with hood covering face)

Boromir: (snoring - almost as loud as Gimli!!!)

Legolas: (still gathering sticks, but we can tell he's sleeping with his eyes open)

Frodo: (staggers and then drops to the ground and falls asleep)

Sam: (standing over Frodo)

Merry and Pippin: (sleeping soundly, with the occasional mumble of "mmm, mushrooms" or "ooh, 'taters!")

Gandalf: (lying on ground, struggling to use his staff for picking up sticks - so weak even his powers can barely lift a twig)

Gimli: WAAAAAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!

Aragorn: Must... stand... up... (struggles to stand)...uh! (slumps back against tree)

Boromir: Let us get some sleep, will ya? (falls asleep before the answer can come)

Legolas: (snaps to attention) What happened? I'm still picking up sticks? (looks around) How long has it been?

Merry and Pippin: (stir in sleep)

Frodo: (too weak to do anything)

Sam: (to Gimli) Please, let us have some food! Look what it's doing to Mr. Frodo! (to Frodo) It's all right, Mr. Frodo. It'll be okay.

Narrator: 5 days of torture later...

Gimli: Done! Time to go to Lothlorien, every one!

Everyone else: Uuhhhhhhhhhh...

Eagle King: Caw! Cuhcaw! Caw caw caw caw.

Gandalf: (smacks forehead) He says (pant) we only (pant) had to make a (pant) nest big enough for (pant) one eagle!

Everyone except Gimli: So we did all that for nothing?

(everyone charges at Gimli and attacks him in different ways)

Gandalf: (to self) Calm down. Take a deep breath (takes deep breath) Okay, now, you don't want to kill Gimli. Don't kill Gimli. Okay, I'm good. (to everyone else) Stop! I know you want to kill Gimli (I do too), but just don't. Let's just get this over with and go to Lothlorien.

Narrator: In Lothlorien...

Galadriel: Hello. What brings you here?

Boromir: Gimli lost your hairs and we had to work our-

Narrator: Remember, this is only rated K+!

Boromir: -we worked our butts off to get a ride here!

Galadriel: Where is he?

Gimli: (slowly raises hand)

Galadriel: So. You lost my hairs? (pause) Do you know what I'm going to do now? (dramatic pause) (plucks 4 hairs) Here you go!

Gimli: Oh, lady Galadriel, I feel that I am not worthy of any more of your hairs. I have lost some already.

Boromir: (thinking: So we did all that and he didn't even think he would get the hair? My turn to say "grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"!)

Legolas: (rolls eyes)

Galadriel: Oh, don't worry about it. Stop being overly dramatic.

Gimli: (faints)

Boromir: Ooh! Ooh! I wanna wake'm up! Can I? Can I? Can I?

Gandalf: Sure. Knock yourself out.

Boromir: Mwahahahaha! (throws bucket of water at Gimli and the bucket covers up his head)

Gimli: Huh? (takes bucket off head) What happened?

Boromir: (throws bucket of water at Gimli)

Gimli: (takes bucket off head) I'm awake!

Boromir: I know! (throws another bucket of water at Gimli)

Gimli: (takes bucket off head) Ow! Hey, where are you getting all those buckets, anyway?

(elf messenger comes in and whispers something to Galadriel)

Galadriel: (whispers something back to the elf, who nods and rides away; then Galadriel talks to the Fellowship) He said that Elrond has sent him to get help! Rivendell is under attack! Will you go and fight for them?

Gimli, Gandalf, and Legolas: We're on our way!

Everyone else: Why should we have to...

Gandalf: Because I said so, now come on!

Narrator: In Rivendell, the Fellowship sees a horrible sight -

Fellowship: SARUMAN!

Gollum: And ussss too, preciossss! Ussss too!

Commercial Narrator: So, the Fellowship has met up with Saruman and Gollum again. Next time, the Fellowship will have trouble with them - and some of Legolas's former-classmates...? Find out what happens next time on the...

Chorus: (singing) "Whatever this Show is Called" Show!

Commercial Narrator: Or "Lord of the Rings Humor".

skyheart15: Just so you know, "The Whatever this Show is Called Show" is what my siblings and I call it when we tell it. That's where I got it from.