A Parental Guide
By xXxFluffy-Pink-Socks
a.k.a Miss Willow
A/N: Oh my god! I do believe this is even longer than the previous chapter! OH and last chapter mistake: LILY HAS GREEN EYES! GAHH! I'm sorry, I get so worked up about these mistakes and I was thinking of James when I wrote it and now I'm freaking out! I'll change it soon, don't worry!
-x-
It had taken us over twenty minutes to get back up to our dormitory, as apparently drunk Rosa didn't want the party to end and I spent most of the way back, trying to force Sirius to dance with me to non-existent music. It turns out I'm actually quite a good dancer, especially the tango. Sirius, however, seemed more bothered about getting me up to the dormitory and making sure that I didn't go back down to the Great Hall and join mum on a stripping tour of muggle London.
We reached the dormitory to find Brendan, Mary, Frank and Alice, all standing in a circle and singing, "DU DU DU DU! DU DU DU DU! CAN'T TOUCH THIS!" and dancing around. James and Lily were nowhere in sight and I could only assume that Lily had already bustled James off to bed like a naughty boy. I wanted to stay and dance but Sirius insisted that I go upstairs. As we disappeared up the steps to the dormitory, I noticed that Brendan was watching us with a weary expression on his face.
"Rosa, go and get changed into your PJs in the bathroom," Sirius told me, pointing at the night clothes that lay crumpled at the foot of my bed. I, however, had much more fun and interesting plans for the night. I smiled seductively.
"Sirius," I purred, crawling along my bed until I was face to face with him, "Why don't you stay here while I change into my pajamas?"
"That would be irrestibly tempting if you weren't slurring your words." I was not slurring my words! Ok, maybe just a little... I was still sexy! I would show him. I got off the bed and started doing my 'sexy dance'. My sexy dance consisted of random hand twirling, clapping, high kicks and the splits... "OWOWOW! MAYBE NOT THE SPLITS!" Sirius rolled his eyes at me and pulled me back up into a standing position.
Sirius raised his eyebrow at me and I merely smirked back at him. "You really are amusing when you've downed half a dozen glasses of vodka." Sirius exclaimed with amusement.
"Amusing? Or sexy?" I said, yanking on his tie and pulling his face closer to mine. His lips looked delicious and I bet they'd taste just as nice too. I'm such a wild horse. "Your lips look tasty. Did you know I stare at your lips in charms? I do. Ooh and I also like to throw little pieces of paper at Bambi. Haha. That's fun. Let's go do it now!"
"Brilliant idea if it weren't 1am in the morning," Sirius replied. It wasn't fair. I wanted to throw pieces of paper at Bambi! Why couldn't I do what I wanted! Why couldn't I... oooh, Sirius looked absolutely gorgeous in that light... and those jeans... they had me wondering what lay underneath them... tut tut, bad Rosa... I quite liked bad Rosa... she made everything so sexy... heehee...
"I know! Let's BOTH do my sexy dance!" I shrieked at the top of my voice, jumping up and down and clapping my hands. Sirius didn't have time to protest; I grabbed a hold of his hands and began to twirl around, laughing like a mainiac. I could be a dancer. I was a good dancer, even when I was drunk. Not that I was drunk. I was just... tipsy.
"AHHH! THE POTATO KING WANTS TO EAT ME!" I screamed; suddenly hysterical, I leapt into Sirius' arms, "DON'T LET HIM PUT ME IN THE A GIANT COOKING POT! I DON'T WANT TO BE COOKED!" I wriggled out of Sirius' grasp, seized the lamp from our bedside table and started advancing on Mr. Snuggles, the evil-looking teddy bear that Brendan had given me for my birthday.
"Rosa, the potato king doesn't want to eat you," Sirius laughed, watching my new war dance with bewildered amusement. He tried to grab the lamp but I wasn't going to give up without a fight. I threw the lamp with all my might at Mr. Snuggles. Sirius grabbed me round the waist and pulled me backwards, as the lamp smashed and sent shards of glass flying all over my bed covers.
"YAY! HE'S DONE FOR!" I cheered, waving my arms in the air. I hugged a highly confused Sirius, before taking my wand and prodding Mr. Snuggles. He didn't move. He was dead. "Oh no."
"What?" Sirius asked, looking at me with curiosity. He approached me with caution, the way someone would approach a time bomb about to go off at any second. I'm a time bomb! NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE A TIME BOMB! I'M A SEX BOMB! NOT A TIME BOMB!
"I'm a murderer!" I wailed, bursting into floods of tears. I buried my head in my hands and sat down on the edge of my bed, watching Sirius clear my glass studded bed with a lazily wave of his wand from between my fingers.
"No, you aren't," Sirius said, trying to put a comforting hand on my shoulder, and clearly struggling not to laugh, "It was the potato king! You, er, had to kill him. It was for the safety of the... the... wizarding world."
"Ooh, your shirt is really nice!" I gushed, fingering the white material with awe. Sirius was now looking at me like I was some mad, crazy woman. Like that woman my dad saw on the news; the mad cat lady! "Sirius, do you think I'm a mad cat lady?" I asked, looking up at him with wondering eyes. He met my gaze with a serious look.
"Yes, Rosa, I do."
"B-b-but I don't like cats!"
"You have a cat!"
"I do?"
"Bagira?"
"Ah, yes. Bagira is no ordinary cat; he's my confidant."
"Your confidant?" Cue another look of disbelief on Sirius' part.
"Yes. Believe me, if you had a sex-mad swinger for a mother and a cross-dressing gay for a brother, you too would appreciate having a cat to keep you company." I said, nodding vigrously at Sirius, who laughed. I smiled; I actually quite liked making Sirius laugh. It gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside... like a pink blob... that was fuzzy... yes, I imagined that my warm, fuzzy feeling would be pink. "Brendan likes pink. He'd like my pink, warm, fuzzy feeling." I told Sirius, knowingly.
"Pink, warm, fuzzy feeling?"
"Uh-huh. It only came recently but now it always appears when I'm with you. Heehee. I'm random." I giggled.
"What? You fancy me?"
"Wooo! I'm a biiiiird! Watch me fly, Sirius!"
"Wait, you like me like that?"
"I don't know why you're so shocked," I stopped flapping my arms around crazily and stood in front of Sirius. "It was kind of obvious. Besides, you said so yourself that I couldn't resist you! Everyone in Hogwarts luuurves you!"
"You LOVE me?! What the fuck, Willow!" Sirius looked a bit angry now. Probably because normal Rosa hadn't told him.
"No, silly. Of course, I don't." I rolled my eyes at Sirius, "But the rest of the female population does. I think you're hot and all that and well, sure, I'd like to ravage you in the middle of the hallway on the way to Transfiguration, but, nahh, it's definitely not love."
"You still should have told me..."
"We both know what I'm like. You know, I might not actually fancy you. It could just be slightly tipsy Rosa who likes you."
"God, Rosa, you really have to stop messing with my mind!"
"I like fish. Do you like fish?"
"ROSA!"
"What? Why does it matter? You don't like me like that and you're just one of a few boys I like, so why does it matter?!"
"How do you know I don't like you like that?" I looked at him with disbelief and he smiled winningly back. "Ok, maybe I haven't really thought about it much but we've had so much fun tonight-"
"Sirius, I'm drunk! I've been drunk all night! How would that work! I get pished- pisssshed- PISSED every time we want to spend time together?!"
"No but I don't think the way you're acting is completely down to the enormous amount of vodka you had tonight. I'm not denying you're drunk (you can hardly stand up right) but people often show their true personality through drink. You're acting as you usually would... when you're not around me. So, no, I don't like you when you're drunk, well, actually you're hilarious when you're drunk, but I like you when you're acting normal. I like you when you're not putting up a front or being defensive around me... if that makes sense."
I doubted anything had made more sense in my life. I didn't know what to say or do. How could anyone reply to something like that? I felt quite uncomfortable and... bare. Like I was standing in the middle of the room, naked. I could feel myself sobering up remarkably quickly. "Since when did you become a pyhsycitrist? sickisast? physchiatrist?" I tried to say, flopping down on the bed beside him. I sighed and looked up at him. He looked down at me and I suddenly noticed that he was bleeding from a cut in his cheek.
"Sirius, you're bleeding," I said, feeling a bit anxious. I sat up and Sirius' hand rose to his cheek.
"Oh. Probably from when the lamp smashed." Sirius shrugged. It looked painful. I frowned and moved closer to him, so I could decide whether or not the cut really wasn't a big deal like Sirius was acting. But before I could get a proper look, my fingers had brushed against his cheek. I hesitated; waited for a few seconds, as I stared up at Sirius, not quite sure why I hadn't moved my hand away from his soft cheek. Hmm... very soft... dammit, drunk and irrational Rosa was making a come back. Oh my god! What was I doing! I was stroking Sirius Black's cheek! Rosa, you're going mad! Oh god, I've turned into a house elf! Referring to myself in the past tense! Maybe I'd be better off working in the kitchens... at least then I'd be away from temptation and everything that temptation brought, including Sirius. My face inched closer to his and, before I knew what the hell I was doing and could regain the use of my sense, I kissed him. I, Rosa-Marie Willow, had kissed Sirius Black. No, not the other way round, no, I had initiated the kiss and, what was more, he was kissing me back!
I could blame it on the vodka (having downed about a trunk load of the stuff), pass it off as a drunken kiss but drunken kisses did not make you feel so good; they CERTAINLY didn't feel right! They were supposed to feel wrong! Not have your heart racing inside your chest and be robbing you of your ability to breathe or think straight. So I decided that I'd pick what sort-of kiss it was later, as having the lips snogged off of you by the hottest guy in Hogwarts was too good an oppurtunity to miss.
I pulled Sirius closer, our kisses getting more frantic and passionate. His hands were tangled in my hair. I was unbuttoning his shirt. My heart was thumping painfully hard against my chest. The adreneline was rushing through my veins. I couldn't think of anything but the kiss and the passion that I was feeling. His hands were moving from my tangled hair down my body. His kisses moved from my lips to my neck. I could smell his aftershave on his clothes and mine and, combined with Sirius' kisses, it was making me light-hearted. His hands were resting on my hips now, my hands running through his black hair that felt as good as it looked.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" I froze. I knew that voice. Shit. I peered over Sirius' shoulder at the very angry Brendan standing in our doorway. Angry was an under-statement; he was shaking with fury.
"Brendan, what are you doing here?" I said, my voice shaking.
"I WALK IN AND FIND MY KID SISTER SHAGGING-"
"Does it look like we're shagging!" I interrupted angrily. My voice faltered however, when I took in both my appearance and Sirius'. We were still both trying to catch our breath, my hair was a tangled mess, the buttons of my top were almost completely undone and Sirius' own shirt had been thrown onto the floor on the other side of the room.
"OH, SO IF I HADN'T COME IN YOU WOULDN'T BE?" I didn't answer. I didn't look at Sirius but I knew he was looking at me. I felt ashamed at myself.
"ROSA, COME ON, YOU'RE STAYING IN MY DORMITORY TONIGHT!" Brendan shouted. He stormed past Sirius and yanked me off the bed. I stumbled and groaned, the room beginning to spin. I was never drinking alcohol again.
"I am 17! It's legal for me to share a room with a boy!" I declared, pointing a finger accusingly at Brendan.
"Not when you're my sister, it isn't." Brendan said menacingly. He began to drag me towards the door. "Mary can swap beds with you."
"Mary's a girl too!" I challenged him.
"Yes but I doubt I'm going to find her lying on her bed, pissed out of her head and with Sirius Black on top of her..." Brendan replied, scowling, and with that, he pulled me out of the dormitory. I looked at Sirius and he looked back and then Brendan slammed the dormitory door shut behind us.
-x-
Please R&R!