A Parental Guide

By xXxFluffy-Pink-Socks

a.k.a Miss Willow

A/N: I decided to update as today is the last day of my exams in school! YAY! So I'm happy and I thought I'd update APG and make my readers happy too (hopefully). First of all, I want to say thanks to Kathy, who goes to my school and has just begun reviewing my story and because she's reviewing as a guest (grrr!) I haven't had the oppurtunity to thank her. ) So thanks Kathy!

Sorry for the shortness! Please review anyway! I need motivation!

-x-

To say that I felt crap the day after the baby shower was a complete lie. I felt like I was going to die. My life was going to end. And I'm only on talking about the hangover! Don't even mention the... thing that happened between Sirius and myself. I got up feeling like absolute shit and went down to the common room, only to straight into Brendan.

"HEY ROSA!" He shouted at me. I let out a howl of pain and clapped my hands over my ears. "OH! I'M SORRY! HAS SOMEONE GOT A MAJOR HANGOVER?!"

"Brendan... just be quiet..." I pleaded, feeling as though my head was going to explode.

"I assume you remember what happened last night," Brendan stated. I didn't need to answer.

"I'm hungry... let's go down to the Great Hall..." I said, my voice barely a soft whisper, as though even speaking was making the pain in my head ten times worse. Brendan looked like he wanted to go on but let it go and followed me out of the portrait hole.

The two of us walked down the many staircases to the first floor in silence, me, feeling too crap, and Brendan still trying to hold back the giant lecture he was dying to give me. That would make two lectures I'd be getting that day, as Brendan had made sure to tell Lily about how he had found me and... Sirius... the night before. She hadn't had chance to speak to me yet but Brendan assured me she was absolutely livid with me. I didn't know when exactly my life had become everyone else's concern but I sure knew that it was pissed me off immensely.

I entered the Great Hall and found to my complete shock and surprise (NOT) that Bambi was already sitting with Sirius at the Gryffindor table and was all over him (as usual). I ignored them but couldn't pretend that I didn't feel a slight pang inside my chest.

"Hey, why don't you come sit at the Ravenclaw table today?" Mary suggested, appearing next to me and putting a comforting hand on my arm. I glanced over at Brendan, who seemed to have spotted Sirius and was looking ready to pound him to a pulp. Brendan was weird like that; one minute he was killing him for snogging me and then next he wanted to kill him for someone else being all over him.

"Mary... I honestly can't be arsed..." I said, sighing and rubbing my forehead again. She nodded and sat down at the end of the Gryffindor table instead, gesturing toward the seat opposite her. I sat down and began to help myself to toast, not feeling hungry in the slightest.

After ten minutes, I had realised that my feeling of non-hunger was also another way of my body telling me that eating food would be a good way to throw up. Wanting to throw up was also combined with my irritation at Mary's constant commentary on Sirius' every move.

"He's watching you... oh, that bastard... look she's all over him... the slut... he's just using her... she can't even see it..." Mary whispered at a pace of ten words per second. She kept straining her neck back to look at Sirius in her oh-so-subtle way. I only hoped Sirius didn't think I was the one spying on him because I really felt that a Sirius free day would do be a hell of good.

"You're going to have to talk to him!" Mary eventually exclaimed, exasperated.

"Erm why?" I asked, buttering a second slice of toast to force down my throat.

"Errr because of the project!" Shit. The project. I hadn't thought about it.

"Yes but surely we've already got in trouble with McGonagall about the project! We were apart all night!" I said, beginning to panic.

"No, don't worry," Mary reassured me, "If you're anywhere inside our common room or one of the project dormitories, you're still considered to be in the same place."

"OH. Right. Ok." I replied, not really interested. Then a thought struck me and that thought was the thought that forced me to get to my feet and walk over to Sirius and Bambi.

"Oh my gawwwd like what the hell are you doing over here, Willow?" Bambi said loudly.

"Not by choice, I can assure you," I replied icily. I turned away from her and faced Sirius, not meeting his gaze. "Black, where's Boblina?"

"I thought you had her..." Sirius said, as he continuously tried to catch my eye.

"What do you mean you thought I had her?!" I shouted, all the anger and embarrassment I was feeling from the night before glad to have an excuse, no matter how pathetic, to escape.

"Maybe because you're the one who had her last!" Sirius shouted back at me.

"Ooh yes! I'd have her! Because I randomly take dolls with me when my brother drags me from a dormitory! That was my first thought of course! "OH! WAIT A SECOND ROSA! YOU SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN A GOD FORSAKEN PIECE OF PLASTIC SHIT!"" I yelled. I heard Mary snort from behind me and had to admit that shouting at Sirius was actually quite amusing. I looked at Sirius and he was also grinning,

"God forsaken piece of plastic shit?" Sirius laughed.

"Oh shut up, Black," I muttered, throwing him a dark look and retreating back over to my seat.

"By the way, James is looking after Boblina," Mary said casually, still trying not to laugh as I sat back down, "So, you think things are resolved between you?"

"Well, I shouted at him, called Boblina a god forsaken piece of plastic shit and he laughed at me. So, yeah, I'd say we were back to being ok with eachother." I said, shrugging.

"Good, good," Mary replied, grinning at me, "And the kis-"

"Never happened," I said breezily. Mary nodded slowly and took a long swig of her pumpkin juice and I could tell she didn't really believe in what I was saying and, if I was totally honest with myself, I didn't believe it either.

-x-

Please R&R!