Spoilers for Missing and The Seer

Chapter Three

Teyla lay in bed, watching the patterns of the moonlight as it played on the ceiling of her quarters, reflecting off the ocean outside.

Complicated. It was, as Rodney would say, the 'understatement of the century'. But she had been unable to say anything else, as at that moment John had walked in with Colonel Carter, with more questions for Davos. Teyla had made a quick exit.

It had been a week since Dr Keller had confirmed Teyla's pregnancy, but she had yet to tell John or anyone else on Atlantis. The doctor had been incredibly kind and understanding – she gave Teyla advice and support, but didn't press her for the identity of the father or try and force her to tell Colonel Carter. Teyla was hugely grateful to her.

But however understanding Dr Keller was to her situation, Teyla wished she had someone else to confide in, to ask what to do. But she had no one. Her people were still missing – 'shrouded in darkness'. Even amongst them, though, she had few confidants, especially now that Charin was gone.

On Atlantis, there was no one Teyla felt comfortable confiding in. Ronon and Rodney were no use – they would be shocked beyond belief, and neither were particularly in tune with their emotions. She wished fervently that Elizabeth was still in the city – she was sure that her friend would have known what to do, and how to tell John.

Tell John. The very idea made Teyla cold. How could she possibly tell him she was pregnant with a child he would not sire for four years?

And yet, he had to be told, and soon. Teyla knew that it was unfair to keep him in the dark about his own child, and she could not go on keeping it a secret from Colonel Carter and the rest of the expedition. They all had a right to know the truth.

She would have to tell him tomorrow.

Complicated. The understatement of the century.

XXXXX

Teyla did not fall asleep for a long time, and was woken up early with her morning sickness. When she felt a little better she showered and dressed, and decided that it was better to get it over with, rather than continuing to walk around with such a terrible weight on her shoulders.

It was still quite early, so Teyla made her way down the corridor to John's quarters. She took a deep, calming breath (which did nothing to calm her) and knocked.

She heard footsteps inside and had to forcibly keep her feet from carrying her away. The door slid open and John was standing in front of her. He was dressed, but barefoot, and had a toothbrush in his mouth.

"Oh, I am sorry, I will come back –" Teyla started to back away.

John shook his head and motioned for her to come in. He disappeared back into his room and Teyla followed slowly, the door closing behind her. She could hear the sound of running water and a moment later John walked back over to her.

"Hey, sorry about that," he said. He frowned suddenly. "Are you okay?"

Teyla's eyes widened at the look of concern on his face. "I am fine," she said. "Why?"

John shrugged. "Sorry, you look kind of… tired," he said. Teyla had a feeling he was being diplomatic.

"I am fine," she repeated. Now or never. "But I have to tell you something."

There, no backing out now.

John's eyebrows went up. "Sure. Have a seat," he said, gesturing to his couch.

Teyla walked over the couch and gratefully sank down onto it. She was not sure her legs would not have supported her for much longer – her entire body felt like jelly. "Thank you," she said.

John sat down on his bed and clasped his hands together, elbows on knees. "What's up?"

Now or never, now or never, now or never… "I am pregnant," she said.

John's expression didn't change. Instead it froze as he stared at her. "Oh," he said, sounding only mildly surprised. "Right."

Teyla waited for him to say something else, but he did not. He glanced down at her stomach and then quickly looked away, down at the floor. His face was expressionless but his eyes betrayed him – his mind was reeling. Teyla waited a couple of seconds and then spoke.

"John?" He blinked and looked back up at her.

"Sorry," he said "Uh… congratulations…"

Teyla was the one to look away now, suddenly very embarrassed again. John was such a gentleman, she knew that he was debating whether to ask her the question.

When John spoke again his voice was oddly gruff. "I don't know if maybe you don't want to tell me because you want to, I don't know – um –"

"Who is the father?" Teyla said quietly.

"Yeah." John's voice shook slightly on the word.

Teyla knew that these were two of the most important words she would ever say. She looked up at John again and took a deep breath. "You are," she said.

John's expression changed for the first time in the conversation, his face creasing in confusion. "What?"

Teyla gripped the edge of the couch tightly as she tried to explain. "I know it seems… impossible… but –"

"Yeah!" John exclaimed. "Teyla, what are you talking about? How could I be the father?"

He was confused. And very nervous. She looked at him sympathetically and sighed. "This is a… strange story," she said.

John's eyes narrowed. "I'll bet," he said.

Teyla tried to think of the best place to start. "Weeks ago, when we were on PG4-616, you sent me back to the 'gate early," she said.

"I remember."

Teyla nodded. "I dialled Atlantis and sent through my IDC and went through. However, it did not work, and I was still on PG4-616," she said. John frowned, but Teyla hastened to continue.

"I do not know anything about the stargate, so I decided to just try again. I was just about to dial again when you and Rodney arrived. You seemed surprised to see me –"

"Because I thought you'd left," John put in.

Teyla nodded again. "That's what I thought," she said. "We went through to Atlantis and this time it worked. I meant to tell Rodney what had happened but he left quickly and so I went to the locker room to change so I could spar."

John shook his head. "That's not what happened," he said. "We went and spoke to Sam while Rodney went off to check - wait a minute – were you in another reality?"

Teyla shook her head, glad that he believed her. "No," she said.

John didn't look convinced. "Because that can happen…" he said.

Teyla took another deep breath. "I was in the future," she said. "Four years into the future."

John blinked at her. "The future," he said simply.

Teyla nodded. "I have done some reading about it, and if a solar flare occurs when a wormhole… I do not understand exactly how –"

"But time travel is possible using the stargate," said John, looking into the distance again.

"Yes."

"It happened to SG-1."

"I know."

John's eyes flickered back to Teyla. "So you were in the future," he said.

"Yes, but I didn't realise at first," said Teyla.

John looked amazed. "You didn't?"

"No," said Teyla. Her heart was starting to beat very fast – the next part was the hardest part of the story to tell. "Not much has changed," she said. "Except that… we are…"

John looked confused for a moment, and then his eyes widened. "We are?" He said, and Teyla nodded. He looked away.

Teyla had to say it, and she had to say it now. She started speaking very quickly, barely pausing to breathe.

"I did not know that it was the future, and everyone there thought that I was the Teyla from that time because she was off-world and so when I saw you – the you from the future – you – he – thought that I was her and he –"

John cut her off. "You're kidding," he said sharply. "You slept with him?"

Teyla forced herself to look straight at John. "Yes," she replied.

John was gaping at her, obviously shocked beyond belief. He shook his head slightly, still staring at her. "And now you're pregnant," he said, his voice very quiet.

Teyla nodded. "Yes," she said, also very quietly.

John nodded and looked away. "Right," he said.

Teyla watched him closely, waiting for him to say something else, but he just sat there, staring at the wall. She could not imagine what he was thinking, or think of anything to say that seemed appropriate or consoling.

She swallowed. "You're the first person I've told, but I need to tell Colonel Carter," she said, her voice little more than a whisper.

John nodded, still not looking at her. "Right," he said again.

Teyla reached out a hand. "John…"

John jumped to his feet before she could touch him, and Teyla snatched her hand back. He ran his hand through his hair and stared out of the window. "I need to – um – I just need to go," he said, walking towards the door. "See ya," he called over his shoulder.

Teyla watched the doors slide shut behind him and felt tears well up in her eyes.

"Bye."

XXXXXX

John paused outside Teyla's door, raised his hand to knock, and then spun on his heel and walked away. He stopped again after five steps, turned round again and walked back to her door. He tapped his foot nervously, his hands stuffed into his pockets. He shook his head and turned on his heel again, only to do a strange 360˚ turn and raise his hand to knock again. This time his hand got within an inch of the door before he dropped his hand and turned away again. He started to walk away, shaking his head.

"Colonel?"

John froze. It was Teyla. Well, that was good, that's why he was here, to talk to her, but still… he wasn't sure he could bring himself to turn around. It had taken him four hours to get to this point, but now that he was here he thought that maybe he needed a few more hours.

She was pregnant. Teyla was pregnant. She was going to have a baby, a baby that was… well, his. He couldn't get his head round it.

John knew he had to turn around, and forced his body to comply. Teyla was standing next to the door of her quarters, looking at him from over the top of about fifty mission report files that she had balanced in her arms.

John hurried over to her. "What are you doing – give me those!" He said, snatching the pile of reports from her arms. "You can't go round carrying things this heavy – do you feel alright?"

Teyla was staring at him as though he'd grown a second head. He could feel his face heating up and he cleared his throat, feeling like a complete idiot. "Er, can we talk?" He asked.

Teyla nodded. "Of course," she said. She swiped her hand over the control crystal and the doors to her quarters slid open. She walked into the room, and John followed her.

He deposited the mission reports on her desk. He turned around and saw Teyla was standing in the middle of the room, watching him closely. John put his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels slightly. "So, er, why do you need all these mission reports?" He asked, trying to ease the tension slightly.

"I want to read through them, and double-check them all for any mention of my people," she said.

John nodded. It was a pointless task – everyone on Atlantis knew to tell Teyla if they found out anything about the Athosians, but he knew she needed to feel like she was doing something.

"So…" John said again. "Listen, I'm sorry."

Teyla raised her eyebrows. "For what?" She said.

John stared at her. "For my behaviour this morning. I shouldn't have just walked out like that," he said. He smiled slightly. "If it makes you feel any better, I looked pretty stupid walking around with no shoes on."

Teyla looked away. "There is no need to apologise, Colonel," she said. John noted the use of his rank, rather than his name. She was still annoyed with him.

He opened his mouth to apologise again, but Teyla beat him to it. "It is I who should be apologising," she said. "I can not imagine what you must be thinking. It must have come as quite a shock."

John opened his mouth to negate it, but decided against it. He shrugged. "Well, yeah," he said.

Teyla looked down at the floor in front of John's feet. "I am sorry, Colonel," she said. John stared at her. She wasn't calling him Colonel because she was annoyed, she was calling him Colonel because she was ashamed.

John wanted to say something to make her feel better about what happened, but he didn't actually know what had happened – not really. And there was no way he was going to ask for details.

"Have you told Sam yet?" He asked, deciding a change of subject was needed.

Teyla looked up and shook her head.

"Okay, so let's do that today," said John. The sooner he wasn't the only one who knew about this the better.

Teyla looked surprised. "You are coming too?" She said.

"Of course I… well, unless you don't want me to," John replied.

Teyla shook her head. "No – I mean, I would be very happy for you to come with me," she said. "Thank you."

John nodded. "Right, well, after lunch, then?" He said. Please not now, please not now…

Teyla nodded. "Yes, but I have already eaten," she said.

"Well, I haven't," said John quickly. "Shall I meet you at Sam's office in half an hour?"

He barely gave Teyla time to nod before giving her a small smile and striding out of the room. He was unbelievably glad that Teyla hadn't wanted lunch as well, because he had just had to get out of there. He had decided, in his four hours of brooding, that if nothing else Teyla was his friend and he had to help her out and support her, but he was finding it quite hard to be gracious about the situation.

It was eating him from the inside out, and he wasn't sure why. It wasn't just that she was pregnant – though his head was reeling from that knowledge alone – there was something else, something that was making his stomach attack itself with anger and frustration.

Half an hour later, after staring at a sandwich in the commissary, John was regretting his offer to help Teyla tell Sam about her pregnancy. It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but now he wasn't so sure.

Still, though, he couldn't back out now. So despite his misgivings he made his way to Sam's office.

Teyla was waiting for him in the Control Room, which was mercifully empty except for Chuck and one other technician. Teyla gave John a tight smile when he arrived, but he felt unable to return it.

"Okay, let's go," he said. He led the way across the bridge and into Sam's office.

Sam smiled at them warmly as they entered and asked them to have a seat. John took the seat next to Teyla in front of the desk and then hoped that she would speak first because he had no idea how to start this conversation.

"What can I do for you?" Sam asked.

Teyla took a deep breath. "I… I have come to tell you that I am pregnant," she said.

Sam's eyes widened in shock and she stared at Teyla, though John didn't miss the way her eyes flickered to him for a split second.

Sam was clearly flabbergasted. "I… um, right," she said. "Well… congratulations Teyla. Er… how far along are you?"

"About five weeks," said Teyla.

Sam glanced at John again, this time a lot more obviously. He knew exactly what she was thinking, and felt a surge of anger at the implication. He didn't want everyone thinking that he was the kind of guy who would go around screwing members of his team, though he knew that's exactly what this was going to look like.

And his coming to this meeting with Teyla wasn't exactly making it look like he had nothing to do with this situation. This was a bad idea.

Sam nodded. "Right," she said. She turned to look at John. "So, er, when did you find out about this, John?" She asked.

"This morning," said John. He narrowed his eyes. "And you can stop looking at me like that, Sam, I'm not the father," he said.

John felt Teyla shift in her seat next to him, but he kept his eyes on Sam. "Not technically, anyway," he said gruffly.

Sam frowned. "What do you mean by that?" She asked. She looked at Teyla again.

"Teyla travelled into the future using the stargate when we were first on PG4-616 and wound up on Atlantis and slept with the John Sheppard from the future and then came back and didn't tell anyone, including me, and now she's pregnant," said John.

Sam's eyes grew wider and wider with every word he said, but he wasn't finished.

"So you see I am not the father, though the baby will presumably have half of my DNA, but that's about as far as this connection goes," he said, his voice considerably louder than it needed to be.

"John!" Sam exclaimed, looking at him in shock.

John shut his mouth. He didn't feel any better after his little outburst, though he was pretty sure that he'd now figured out what was bothering him so much.

"I've gotta go," he said, standing up. He thought for a moment that Sam was going to order him to stay, but she just continued to look at him in shock. He turned on his heel and practically ran out of the office, not daring to even glance at Teyla.

John stormed through the corridors of Atlantis. He saw several people who looked like they wanted to speak to him, but no one tried to. Instead everyone seemed to jump out of his way, which he was very glad of. He took a transporter to a part of the city as far away from Sam's office as possible, and didn't stop walking until he stepped out onto a large balcony at the end of a deserted corridor.

Once outside, John took a deep breath of the cool air and leant on the balcony, staring down at the water below.

He felt like a complete and utter idiot. He felt like shooting something. He felt like jumping into the ocean.

He was jealous!

John couldn't believe it. He'd figured out what was bothering him – and he was jealous!

He thought back to that morning, when Teyla had first told him she was pregnant, and how he'd felt. Before she had told him about her jaunt through time.

He had felt like his whole world was crashing down around him. All he had been able to think about was that Teyla had slept with someone, that she had a secret lover. That he was a complete idiot for ever thinking that the two of them could be more than friends.

Then he had found out that he was technically the father and shock had taken over as the principle emotion. But the jealousy had remained unnoticed, and that was what had been eating away at him.

He knew it was stupid, that it was technically him that Teyla had slept with, but it hadn't been him! It had been some other guy, some guy he didn't know and might not ever be. Time travel was a weird thing – what about that random camera they found in a tomb in Egypt with SG-1 on it from thousands of years ago?

Teyla remembered it all, she had experienced it; he hadn't. He wouldn't.

Why hadn't she said anything to him? Why hadn't she told him about it? She hadn't said a word, hadn't dropped a hint. In fact, John suddenly realised, she had been avoiding him for weeks now. He hadn't noticed it, because they had both been so busy, but now it was obvious she hadn't even wanted to spend any time with him after what happened.

So what was so great about the guy she met in the future that made him so terrible by comparison she couldn't even talk to him?

John didn't want to think about it. Knowing that it was some version of him made it so much worse somehow, because it made it seem so close yet so far. Why hadn't it been him?

And now she was pregnant. It always came back to that. No matter what John felt about it, and about Teyla, she was going to have a baby, and he was the closest thing to a father the baby would have. How could he walk away from that?

John knew he couldn't. He wouldn't. He would be there for the kid, no matter how it had come about, and no matter what he felt about its mother.

John ran his hands through his hair. When did things get so complicated?

TBC