AN: All of the reviews have been awesome, and I'm really glad that so many of you are getting into this story. It makes writing it that much better. After this chapter, the angst will be toned down just a little. I hope you guys enjoy!

Chapter 4: Nothing is the Same

Jackie sat on Donna's bed squeezing one of her pillows in her arms. Donna lay stretched out beside her tired due to her lack of sleep from the night before. Jackie went back to her apartment like she normally did, but Donna woke up to Jackie her at the end of the bed wanting to talk. That was why they were in this situation in the first place. They hadn't really had a serious conversation since Sam first announced that she and Hyde were married. That night, Jackie cried and cried on Donna's bed as Donna tried her best to actually comfort her friend. Her heart just wasn't in it though. She knew it sounded cruel, but the loneliness of Eric leaving was just setting in and Donna could barely feel sorry for her friend. At the time, she knew that she should have, but she couldn't find it inside of her to relate to her pain. Ever since then, Jackie never came to Donna for comfort, and Donna didn't go to her to see if she was okay.

So, it was very strange to Donna to see Jackie initiating this kind of conversation.

"Donna," Jackie said as she took a deep breath, her face resting on the pillow in her arms. "I know that I haven't come to you about my problems much anymore, but I really didn't know who to turn to in this situation. I tried to talk to Fez about it, but it just felt too weird." Jackie turned around to look at Donna, relieved to see the sympathy in her eyes. Maybe it was just because she was surprised to see her there, but whatever it was, she hoped Donna held onto it for a little longer to hear her out. "I guess because we used to be together…"

"Wait," Donna interrupted. "You and Fez broke up?"

"Yeah, we decided we would just be better as friends. But that's not what I wanted to talk about. Something happened yesterday when I saw Steven."

Donna watched her friend as she hung her head low in shame, almost as if she was embarrassed about what she was about to admit to her.

"What is it, Jackie?"

Jackie bit her lip and hugged the pillow to her chest tighter. "He was just so different Donna." She whispered, shifting her glance to her friend. "It was like how he used to be… before Vegas."

Donna sat up in bed alert. The down shift in Jackie's voice sparked a sorrow in Donna, not to mention her dying curiosity to find out what the hell could have happened. Jackie and Hyde never talked about their relationship since they broke up.

"He asked us if we were okay, and…" Jackie tried her best to hold in her guilty tears, but like always, they were escaping from the corners of her eyes and streaming down her cheeks. "I told him that we were. I guess I just couldn't tell him everything at that moment."

Donna scooted to the end of the bed and wrapped an assuring arm around Jackie's shoulders. "That's okay Jackie. The doctor said that we shouldn't tell him too much right away. You did nothing wrong."

"He kissed me." Jackie croaked, her voice stale with regret. "And I kissed him back."

Donna continued to rub Jackie's arm in silence, trying her best to piece together the advice Jackie was looking for. However, like last time, she came up short. Jackie cried into the pillow, waiting for Donna to say something. At one point, she could go to Donna for anything, and she usually leveled Jackie out with her strong, independent female spirit and rationalization for everything. Her silence was a knife in Jackie's heart, making Jackie wonder where her best friend disappeared to. She understood Donna's distance earlier last year, but now Eric was back. She should have been happy again.

"Is that why you were running from his room yesterday?" Donna finally spoke, her voice softly patching their friendship back together again.

"Yes."

"I think you should tell him then Jackie. It might be hard, but he has to know the truth."

Jackie pushed her curled hair out of her face and blankly stared across the room. "I know. I just don't think I have the strength to."

Donna nodded her head, understanding what Jackie meant. Things were always much easier when confrontation was avoided at all costs. If you love him, you should forgive him, right? Donna now knew from personal experience that it just wasn't that easy.

Donna looked to Jackie who still sat with a sulking frown on her face. She wanted to tell her everything. How much she missed Eric when he was gone, and how hurt she was when he broke up with her for no explanation. How Randy was just a way to dilute her feelings and make her numb to the painful loneliness that haunted her in bed every night. She wanted to tell Jackie how sorry she was for ignoring her when she needed her most and for befriending Sam, and how now, when Donna was reflecting on her life the most, she mourned the friendship she loss with Jackie because she was so hung up on a guy. She tried to tell Jackie all of those things, but sand filled her throat, drying out her words.

Hyde looked out the window of the Vista Cruiser as all the sites of Point Place passed by him. The town itself didn't look much different, unlike the people that it held. The familiarity of stagnant Point Place was a relief to the rollercoaster of changes happening so fast in his life. When Dr. Cook told him that they couldn't find anything wrong with his brain, the reality of losing his memory really hit him. Sure, Jackie freaking out on him and some of the things that Eric and Donna told him did stir up the worry inside of him, but like always, he just pushed those emotions to the wayside. Once Dr. Cook told him there was no true medical treatment for amnesia, especially for a person who didn't even suffer from a brain injury, Hyde felt the walls come crashing down around him. Was he going to be stuck like this forever? Dr. Cook suggested that he see a psychiatrist, telling him that they had therapy methods that could help with his conditions, but Hyde immediately dismissed his offer. He wasn't crazy, and he'd be damned if he was going to talk to a shrink. He willingly didn't talk to anybody about his feelings for a reason, so there was no way in hell he was going to start with some stranger.

Hyde pulled his sunglasses out of the manila envelope the hospital had kept of his things in. He put them on his face as he stepped out of the car, shielding his eyes from the sun and everyone around him. Foreman pre warned him that his parents were going to try to convince him to see the psychiatrist once he got home. Hyde made his way through the Foreman home, marching right into the living room where he knew Red and Kitty were waiting for him. Just as he suspected, there they were, sitting in their respectable places in the living room. Kitty sat hunched over on the couch, looking like she had worried herself all night long. Hyde could barely see Red's facial expression because he sat in his pea soup colored chair, not turning around at the sound of Hyde entering the living room. However, Hyde didn't expect another person to be waiting with them. He was a very tall, black man with a small afro and a brown suit on. Anger flushed Hyde's face and clenched his fists as he began to figure out who this guy must be. He sat down next to Kitty with a plop.

"So I take it this is the shrink you guys want me to see." Hyde said, gesturing towards WB, his irritation with the whole issue making its first appearance.

Kitty's alarmed expression weighed guilt down on Hyde's chest. Maybe he was being a bit harsh, but Hyde was angry that they would go behind his back like this. Kitty's face scrunched as the sympathetic pain in her chest swelled to the size of a watermelon.

"Steven," She began, keeping her voice calm and caring. "This isn't the doctor."

"It's okay, Kitty." WB interrupted while standing. He wore his usual business man smile on his face to mask the pain of his only son forgetting who he was. "He probably just doesn't remember me."

WB made his way over to the couch holding out his arm. "Steven, I'm William Barnett. I'm your father."

Hyde felt like he had just been in another car crash as the wheels in his brain came to a screeching halt. "What?"

"Steven," Hyde felt Kitty rest a motherly hand on his knee. "A while back ago you fell off the water tower. When you were in the hospital, I was looking through your files and found that Bud's name wasn't on your birth certificate. "Kitty looked up at WB with a small smile. "His was. You met him soon after and now you guys are really good friends."

Hyde sat dumbstruck. He closed his mouth realizing that he had it slightly open the entire time. He wasn't sure if the news was good or not. On one hand, it brought him a little satisfaction knowing that he no longer shared a genetic connection with Bud, but on the other hand, he didn't know this guy any better than the guy he used to think was his father. The moment wasn't even close to being touching. What was even worse was that he apparently had already known this information to begin with and had developed some kind of relationship with this man. Then, another astonishing thought hit him.

"Wait a second." Hyde shook himself out of his dazed trance. "I'm black?"

WB's face that had dropped just a little with disappointment now pulled the corners of his mouth up into a jolly grin. "Yes. Remember? It's where your fro comes from and your complete distrust of the man."

Hyde looked back at him, catching onto his attempts to try to strike some kind of memory chord inside him. His dad must have not been playing his tune because he was still a blank. "Uh, I guess that would make some sense then."

WB looked to both Red and Kitty for a little help. They seemed just as confused about what to do as he did. He shook his head, fixing his composure. "Well, I guess this means that you don't remember Grooves either. Steven, you're a manager of one of my record stores here in Point Place."

Hyde shook his head in approval as WB continued. "I've hired a temporary manager to replace you until you feel that you can come back to the store and run things again."

"Well I don't think that'll be for too long. I'm feeling fine. Once this broken arm is healed, I'll be good as new."

All the adults in the room shook their heads in dismay. "Steven, we think you should see the psychiatrist."

Hyde threw his hand in the air. Kitty continued. "We think it's for the best. He could help you find out why you lost your memory."

Hyde shook his head and held his casted arm with his other. He looked over to Red who hadn't said a word the entire time. "You can't be buying into all this crap, Red."

Red sat up straight in his chair and sighed. "Steven, you're seeing the psychiatrist and that's final."

Hyde breathed heavily through his nose. "Whatever." He tapped his foot angrily on the floor until he just couldn't take it anymore. "If you need me, I'll be in the basement."

As soon as Hyde left the room, WB shifted his eyes from Red to Kitty. "Well, that didn't go well."

Hyde stormed his way down the basement stairs to find everyone minus Jackie waiting for him. As soon as his boots hit the floor, Kelso stood up from the couch to greet his friend. "I'm so sorry to hear what happened, man."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Hyde sat down in his chair, holding his free hand out signaling for everyone to leave him alone. "You're sorry for me. Everyone's sorry for me."

Everyone shared uncomfortable glances with each other as Hyde focused his eyes on the television set in front of him. They all tried to think of anything to talk about. They were already informed by Donna that they couldn't mention anything involving Jackie because she was going to handle it. They racked their brains trying to think of things they could tell him that he had forgotten.

"Brooke had the baby." Kelso started. "It's a girl, and her name is Betsy."

"Congratulations, man." Hyde responded, continuing to stare on the TV screen.

"You and Jackie are still the godparents." Kelso put in, receiving a glare from Donna. However, Hyde didn't catch onto the connotation that 'still' held.

"I work at a beauty salon." Fez announced. "And I still love candy."

"Sounds great." Hyde sarcastically answered.

Eric looked around the room, nodding his head once he saw everyone had run out of things to say.

"I went to Africa for a few months."

This got Hyde's attention as he swung his head around to meet Foreman with his baffled expression. "You went to Africa? What, they have some big Star Wars convention there?"

Eric laughed and shook his head. "No, I went there so I could get a teaching scholarship to UW."

Hyde nodded and shrugged. It was a little strange to have his friends recap him, but he was trying his best not to let the weird feeling take over him too much. Now more than ever, he had to keep his zen intact.

"What about you Donna?" Hyde asked as he looked bad to the TV. "What's been new with you?"

"Well," Donna began as she sat up in the chair opposite of him. "I still work at the radio station as Hot Donna. I'm still going to the community college, and I'll be going to UW with Eric in the Fall."

Hyde eyed her. "So, nothing new?"

Donna bitterly slouched down again.

Just then, Jackie walked through the door, her curious and scared eyes scanning the room, only stopping when they landed on Hyde. She closed the door and stepped further into the room, wrapping her arms protectively around her body to attempt to shield herself from his stare.

"Hey Jackie." He finally said, noticing that everyone in the room had their full attention on them.

"Hey." She said, glancing up at him nervously.

Hyde stood up and pointed towards his room. Jackie nodded her head and followed him to the back.

"This is going to be bad." Fez stated, and no one had hope enough to disagree.

Jackie walked through the door of Hyde's bedroom, taking a whiff of the familiar aroma that she hadn't smelled in what felt like ages. Everything looked just as it had the last time she had been in there. Hyde, too, had a little moment to himself to take in his bedroom's surroundings. He was happy to see that nothing had changed about it. Hyde took comfort in knowing that not everything was different, easing his troubled mind for just a bit. He looked to Jackie who still had her arms tightly wrapped around her, a stance he had come accustomed to know that she wanted to be anywhere but here. Whatever was bothering her, he had to fix because as much as he pretended that Jackie's constant attentiveness and talking annoyed him, he really missed those things when she was being this way. She hadn't been this reserved towards him since the nurse incident. Hyde nerves betrayed him, his blood pressure as he thought of what horrible thing he must have done now. He promised her that he would never cheat on her again, and Hyde only hoped that that wasn't the case at all.

Ignoring the pounding in his ears, Hyde stood in front of Jackie. He took his sunglasses off and hooked them to the collar of his tee shirt and then taking her arm into his hand. "Jackie, you have to tell me what's the matter."

Jackie nodded her head solemnly, not meeting his eyes to answer. "I know."

Hyde gave her a few moments as she tried her best to think of a way to tell him the things that haunted her dreams at night. Jackie couldn't come to grips with hurting him the way she knew she would when she told him what he did to her. She always knew him to be one of the most hidden insecure people she had ever met, and one of his flaws was letting guilt eat himself away into a bitter mess. As much as she knew that she shouldn't enjoy the Steven that stood before her, her heart was screaming for her to take him as he was because after this moment, he would change right back into the cold being that hurt her so much. Unfortunately, her head once again convinced her to choose the rational route.

"Steven," Hyde cringed at the shaking of his name. "You and I have been through a lot these past two years. A portion of it was really amazing but…" Jackie stopped, trying to gain some kind of control in the emotions her voice couldn't hide.

"But what, Jackie?" Hyde insisted her to continue. He tried to pull her in closer to him, but he was met with her struggle to keep distance.

"We've been broken up for a while now."

Hyde felt his shoulders weaken and the knot in his stomach grow more tangled. "For how long?"

Jackie gazed up in his eyes, waves of heartache pounding on her chest. "Six months."

Hyde let out a sigh as he tried to imagine what that must have been like. He stopped his train of thought, moving right along to the thing he needed to know most. "Why?"

Jackie clammed up and felt the tickling of running for the hills light on her feet. Her thoughts ran circles around in her head, clouding explanation with her fear of actually speaking the words to him. Horrible memories of disgusting that tramp in high heels and barely dressed flooded her brain. Nights too hurtful to remember seeped through the cavities of her mind, swirling her emotions around until she felt just as weak as she did then.

"Jackie," Hyde called to her more insistently. "Why?"

Jackie clamped her eyes shut in pain as she forced the words to spill out. "Because you married someone else."

Jackie tore herself from his grip once again, taking off without him following. Hyde was too shell shocked to go after her. I married someone else? He sat down on his cot, trying his best to remember any of that. He searched all the corners of his brain, frustrating causing a major headache to come on. The last thing I remember…

His dream of the woman in white came back to him. She was just as hazy as before, but the background was beginning to come into focus more. The walls around her were a smoky grey with white trim on the tiny doorways lined up behind her. There was a small wall light just to the left of her head that appeared to be there more for decoration then an illuminating source.

Hyde rubbed his eyes and lay back on his bed. What the hell am I going to do now?

AN2: Chapter 5 should be up in the next 2 or 3 days.